Our Darkest Hour (Our Darkest Series Book 1)

by Sarah Bailey

“They want a confession of guilt. That’s why they were pressing you. Not answering was your best call. Now we just have to wait. They’ll have to go to the Crown Prosecution Service with the evidence they have, regardless. They will decide whether or not you will be charged.”

  I nodded. Mum stood up and came over to me, giving me a hug.

  “It’ll be okay, love. You did nothing wrong.”

  I had done something wrong. I’d not told them who was with me that night. And I’d not told them Aaron was responsible for Valentine’s death. Those things couldn’t be helped. Betraying Aaron was the very last thing I’d do.

  When the police came to take me back to the cell, I didn’t feel confident about what would happen next. Whilst I’d taken Henry’s advice and he’d said he didn’t think they would charge me, there was still a risk there.

  Sitting alone in a prison cell made me think a lot about how I’d got there. The entire thing was insane. Aaron and I should have gone to the police that night. Told them the truth. But we couldn’t take it back now. We’d made our bed. I had to hope it wouldn’t completely backfire on us.

  When two officers came to let me out of the cell, I wasn’t sure how much time had passed. They took me to the front desk where Mum was waiting for me. She had a nervous smile on her face, which worried me. The officer at the front desk gave me a nod as I stood in front of it flanked by the other two.

  “Okay, Rhys, I’m advising you no further action will be taken today. That means we won’t be charging you at this time. You are free to leave. I need you to sign a few things for me then your mother can take you home.”

  My knees almost buckled with the relief I felt at hearing those words. I went through the process of them discharging me on automatic. They explained other things to me about why I was being released but I was hardly listening. All I could think about was seeing Aaron and holding onto him tight. I was so relieved. They couldn’t charge me. I wouldn’t have to go through a court case. And I’d kept Aaron’s name from coming to light. All of those things shouldn’t make me feel happy since someone had died, but they did.

  Mum and I caught the bus home. She kept looking at me with concern and I felt bad, but I wasn’t sure what I could tell her. She’d had to spend hours at the police station with me worrying I might be charged with murder. It couldn’t have been easy on her. I was the one who’d had to sit in a prison cell and undergo an interrogation. We’d both been through it today.

  I pulled out my phone on the way and sent a text to Aaron. Hopefully, he’d come over when he saw it. That’s if his parents even let him out.

  Rhys: They didn’t have enough evidence to charge me. On my way home with Mum now. Love you x

  I didn’t get a response even though I saw that he’d read it. It was my first sign things weren’t good. I had to hope when we saw each other, it would be okay. There was nothing I wanted more in the world than to hold him in my arms and never let go.

  Graham still wasn’t home when we got back, probably at the pub. I could only be glad about that. It was almost dinner time so Mum put some food on before she made us tea and we sat together at the kitchen table. She reached over and put a hand on mine.

  “Are you okay, love?”

  “Not exactly.”

  The whole thing had shaken me. Getting arrested for a serious crime I didn’t commit was probably the most fucked up thing to happen in the last few years.

  “You promise me you didn’t hurt that boy.”

  “I didn’t do anything, Mum, I swear. Valentine was a dick who bullied me and Aaron, but that doesn’t mean I wanted to hurt him.”

  She stroked my hand.

  “I know, love. I’m sorry I asked, you’d never do anything like that. This whole thing has put me on edge.”

  “Me too.”

  We lapsed into silence for a moment. I looked up at her. She seemed sad which broke my heart.

  “Don’t tell Graham about this, Mum. You know it will only make things worse.”

  She nodded which I hadn’t expected her to do.

  “Don’t worry, Rhys love, I won’t tell your father. You’re right. He won’t take that news well and we don’t need any more trouble right now.”

  I felt relief at that. Now I had to wait for Aaron to contact me. It worried me no end he’d not responded to my text. If there was ever a time I needed him, it was right now.

  Where is he?

  Chapter Forty Six

  A whole day went by without a word from Aaron. It’d made me nervous and I worried what had happened between him and his parents. We’d rarely gone a few days without talking in the ten years we’d known each other.

  I was just getting a glass of water from the kitchen to go to bed with when the doorbell rang.

  “I’ll get it, Mum,” I called, carrying my glass out into the hallway.

  “Okay, love,” she called back from the living room.

  Graham hadn’t come home and I didn’t ask her where he was. I didn’t care to be honest. The longer he stayed away, the better. Then I wouldn’t have to deal with his bullshit.

  I set the glass down on the side table by the door and opened it. Aaron stood there with sad eyes and a tense expression on his face. It set me on edge but didn’t stop me barrelling my way into his arms and holding him tightly. The relief I felt being in his presence flooded my veins, warming me from the inside out.

  “Aaron,” I breathed.

  “Hi.”

  His voice sounded all quiet and laced with pain. That single word betrayed so much. The reason he was here wasn’t a happy one. I didn’t want to believe it. The only thing I wanted was for us to hold on to each other and never let go.

  I dropped my arms from him and stepped back with some reluctance. His expression had fallen further. I had a feeling I knew exactly what was about to happen. So even as my heart constricted, I took his hand and led him inside. I shut the front door and snagged my glass before walking upstairs. Aaron followed me without a word.

  When we got into my bedroom, I set down the glass on the bedside table before turning to him. He’d shut the door behind us. His blue-grey eyes were like storm clouds, filled with agony and brimming with tears.

  “Whatever you’re about to say, don’t… just don’t.”

  “Rhys…”

  I put a hand up.

  “Don’t,” I whispered, almost unable to get the word out. My throat constricted and my chest burnt with an intensity I’d never experienced before.

  His expression grew ever more pained. The sight of it severed me clean in two and he hadn’t even spoken the words yet.

  “I can’t see you anymore.”

  “No, don’t say that.”

  “I don’t want to do this, but I have no choice,” his voice broke on the words. “He’s making me, Rhys. God, fuck, this hurts so much. I’m so sorry.”

  Tears slipped down his cheeks and I realised they were falling down mine too. When had they appeared? The world seemed to swallow me up in a vortex of emotion. A sharp pain lanced across my chest, tearing my insides to pieces.

  I shook my head. Those words were like icicles falling on me, piercing through my skin and shredding my soul.

  “You always have a choice. He can’t make you do this.”

  Aaron took a step towards me. The desire to let him hold me and take this away was almost overwhelming.

  “I wish that was true. He forced my hand. I’m not allowed to see you. I had to agree to what he demanded so he’d help make sure you didn’t take the fall for what I did. You didn’t deserve to get arrested for something you had nothing to do with. I wasn’t going to let that happen.”

  His hands came up as if he was trying to make me understand his predicament. I understood just fine. Patrick Parrish was a cunt of the highest order who didn’t care an ounce about his son’s happiness. Who did whatever he wanted because he was rich and powerful, including forcing his son to bend to his will. I understo
od. And I hated it and him more than words could say.

  “I’m grounded. He’s taking away my car and Harriet and Ralph are coming to live at the house until I finish school. They’re basically my fucking gatekeepers. He left me with no choice. If I was eighteen, it would be different, but I’m not.”

  He sucked in a choked breath and took another step towards me.

  “Don’t look at me like that, please. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I don’t want to do this. Fuck! You know how much I love you… you are my entire world, Rhys. You are my everything. I can’t stand this. I won’t survive without you.”

  My hands trembled at my sides, the violence of my feelings sucking me into a black hole of desperation.

  “Then don’t do this.”

  He closed the distance and brought his hands up, cupping my face. His touch seared into me. I loved and hated it at the same time. Aaron would always have this strange power over me. For the last ten years, he’d helped me see the good in the world. See I had things worth living for. Namely him and my mum. He’d taken my bruised soul and healed it. And now he was maiming me beyond recognition. He was undoing everything by ending not only our relationship, but our friendship too.

  “Please don’t,” I all but whimpered.

  “I love you,” he whispered. “I will always love you.”

  I didn’t want to hear those words from him when he was breaking my heart. Breaking my whole damn soul.

  “Don’t say that.”

  “I love you.”

  I shook my head even as I reached for him, unable to help myself. The moment my hands ghosted up his chest, I could no longer control the despair coursing through every part of me. My knees almost buckled under the onslaught.

  “I can’t live without you,” I sobbed, the words coming out in a choked moan of pain.

  Instead of answering me with words, he answered with his lips on mine. The bloom of torturous pleasure washed over me. My hands clutched his t-shirt, pulling him closer even as my head screamed at me to stop this. My heart wanted Aaron more. It drowned out the noise. The only sounds I could hear were of our desperation for each other.

  The moment his teeth closed around my bottom lip, the sharp pricks of pain echoing the anguish in my heart, I lost all sense of control. I had to have him. Aaron was the air I breathed into my lungs. He was my oxygen and depriving myself of it would lead to my ultimate demise.

  My hands were in his hair, tugging at the strands and no doubt causing him pain, but I wanted him to hurt. I wanted both of us to drown in misery and regrets. And when he pressed me down on my bed, I let him, not caring how much this would wreck me afterwards.

  We fumbled with each other’s clothes, tugging at zips to gain access to the parts we needed. The moment his hand wrapped around my cock, I moaned in his mouth. His touch was my kryptonite just as mine was his. We stroked each other, the harsh sound of our mutual breath echoing in my ears. Our eyes were glued to each other, foreheads pressed together as neither of us could look away. His conveyed all the horrific torment at what his father had forced him into. The sight of it ruined me. Knowing he was hurting as much as me was like knives against my skin.

  “Do you still love me?” he whispered, his breath fluttering against my lips.

  I didn’t want to say those words, but they were ripped from me anyway.

  “I will always love you.”

  It didn’t matter we were ending. My heart would always belong to Aaron. He had the keys to it. And he’d take them away with him when he walked out of my life. The thought of it made more tears spill down my face.

  “Don’t leave me.”

  His tears fell on my cheeks before he kissed me again. We chased the high together. The bittersweet ending of pleasure and pain ripped through our chests when we came. There weren’t any more words anyway. I couldn’t keep begging him to stay and hearing him tell me he couldn’t. There wouldn’t be enough times we could say we loved each other even whilst everything crashed down around us. Our love had become a weapon his father had used against us. And I hated Aaron for going along with it. Hated him for doing this to us. Decimating everything we shared in one single moment.

  We sat on my bed together after we’d cleaned up, both staring at the floor as if knowing this was the end. This was the final chapter. Our lives had been so entwined for ten years. They flashed before my eyes in an instant, reminding me of how beautiful our friendship had always been.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

  Sorry wasn’t good enough. Sorry wouldn’t bring back what he’d broken. Sorry only brought more pain. And sorry only reminded me of how vast the differences between us were. He’d always come from privilege and I’d always come from nothing.

  I turned my head towards him.

  “Your dad is a cunt.”

  “I know.”

  His abject defeat only served to make me angry. Had he not fought for us? Had he not tried to tell his father no?

  “Did you even try to stop him from doing this?”

  He didn’t look at me. I had my answer there.

  “You didn’t fight for us.”

  Aaron put his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking with the violence of his emotions.

  “I wanted to, Rhys. I wanted to fight. He used you against me. And the fact it’s my fault Valentine died… he has too much leverage over me. I had no choice. None.”

  My fingers itched to comfort him as I’d always done, but I was in too much pain. Pain he’d caused. So I stood up and walked away, unable to take the sight of his agony on top of my own.

  “You could’ve said no, A. You didn’t have to help me. They would’ve appointed me a solicitor, regardless.”

  “You don’t get it. Even if I’d told him no, he’d still have grounded me and banned me from seeing you. He knows I killed Valentine by accident. Do you really think he wouldn’t use it against me?”

  My fists clenched at my sides. Patrick Parrish would stop at nothing to keep us apart. Aaron had fought against him so long as his dad had no reason to break us up. Now he had the biggest reason of all.

  “Oh, I fucking get it. I get you won’t stand up to your father. I should’ve known one day this would happen. You and I were always too good to be true. Especially since you come from a life of fucking privilege and me… I’m just a boy who grew up on a council estate. A boy who has nothing. No recourse to fight against the likes of Patrick fucking Parrish and his bullshit… you could’ve done that, you know. You could’ve said no and told him to go fuck himself, but you’ve spent your whole life trying to please him when he doesn’t give a shit about you.”

  “Rhys—”

  I put a hand up. I didn’t want to hear any more excuses out of his mouth.

  “You’ve said enough, Aaron. I think you should leave now. You came to tell me goodbye. You’ve said it. So just go… go before you break me further.”

  Despite my anger, tears still fell down my cheeks like a fucking tidal wave. I couldn’t stop them. And what I hadn’t expected was for him not to listen to a word I’d said. No, the moment I felt him wrap his arms around me from behind, my entire body shook with the effort of staying upright.

  “I’ll love you forever, Rhys King. Never forget that even when you hate me for this… remember this… remember us… remember we’re soulmates.”

  He clutched me tighter, his tears soaking into the back of my t-shirt.

  “Goodbye, my beautiful boy. You’ll always be in my heart… forever.”

  Then he let go and walked out of my room. He walked out of my life. He left me with my heart in pieces on the floor.

  I dropped to my knees, trying to hold back the weight of my emotions but failing miserably. I let out an agonising wail of anguish, not caring who heard me. Then I curled up in a ball on the floor, letting the pain overwhelm all of my senses.

  Aaron had done the worst thing imaginable.

  He’d broken all the promises
he’d ever made to me.

  He’d left me.

  And by doing so… he’d annihilated me completely.

  Part IV

  restore

  verb, re·stored, re·stor·ing.

  to bring back into existence, use, or the like; reestablish.

  Chapter Forty Seven

  Seven Years Later

  I leant back in my chair and rubbed my face before running my hand through my hair, knowing I’d left it sticking up. Didn’t matter too much considering no one could see me. Working from home had its benefits. Three years of university earning my degree in graphic design followed by two years of working for someone else had allowed me to find my way in the industry. A year ago, I’d branched out on my own after bringing in more work part-time freelancing in book cover design and illustration than I earnt in my day job.

  I’d started working in the evenings as I wanted to have the financial security to allow me to help Mum during her divorce. She’d finally got the courage to leave Graham two years ago. Something I’d been thrilled about. Now she lived in a one-bedroom flat twenty minutes away. Gaining her independence had done wonders. Whilst she still couldn’t work in a regular job, she’d taken up knitting and crochet. I’d helped set her up online so she could sell her wares. For the past year, she’d gone from strength to strength, something I was immensely proud of her for.

  I’d been working on the same project for the past few days and had finally completed it. I hoped the author who’d commissioned this illustrative work would be happy. They’d found out about me via my hobby, an online comic strip I updated twice a week. It wasn’t something I charged for, but it’d brought in enough potential work that I was often turning down opportunities.

  After I sent off the final version to the author along with the second part of my invoice, I checked my email. One sat there from a major publisher. I didn’t pay attention to who exactly it was. Reading it over, I found they’d discovered me through my illustrative work and wanted to commission some art from me for a fantasy book. I checked the details, noting they wanted to offer me a contract for further work after this. Shaking my head, I replied stating I only worked on a commission basis as a freelancer and if they wanted to work with me, they’d have to accept those terms. Sometimes these companies tried to pull shit with artists and I wasn’t having it.