Our Darkest Hour (Our Darkest Series Book 1)

by Sarah Bailey

  “Mer, I’m going now. Let yourself out, hey?”

  “Good luck and don’t let him bring you down,” came her mumbled response.

  Grinning, I left the bedroom and grabbed my jacket on the way out. The entire journey over on the tube had me tapping my bag, which contained my sketchbook and tablet. I’d already done a couple of sketches even though I didn’t have the full brief yet. Maybe I was more excited about working on an Emily Davidson book than I realised. She went by the pen name, E. R. Davidson and was my favourite fantasy author. Whilst she wouldn’t be at this meeting, I hoped I might get to meet her or even get her autograph at some point.

  Johnstone & Parrish had their building in Central London, whilst Mum and I lived close to Richmond Park. I’d left the flat early to get there on time. Why did I arrange this meeting in the morning? I wasn’t usually up before ten.

  I hadn’t told Mum about this meeting, nor that I might see Aaron. She would only worry and I’d rather not put her through it. She’d dealt with enough throughout her life without getting concerned over her son’s heart yet again. And I knew picking up the pieces of it when Aaron had shattered it had taken a lot out of her.

  I glanced around the modern interior of the building as I walked in. The place was all straight lines and edges, not a curve in sight. The front desk was white with chrome accents and the lady behind it gave me a bright smile.

  “Good morning, welcome to Johnstone & Parrish, how can I help?”

  “Hi… Rhys King, I have an appointment with Diana Merry.”

  She looked down at her computer for a moment.

  “Of course. If you’d like to sign in here, I’ll get you a visitor pass and let Miss Merry know you’re here.”

  I filled out my details on the tablet she handed to me before she gave me a lanyard. I pinned it to my shirt pocket.

  “If you just wait here, someone will be down to get you soon.”

  She waved her hand towards the seating area. I gave her a nod and strode over, setting myself down in a rather square-looking white chair. Ten minutes passed before a lady approached me.

  “Hello, you’re Rhys, right?”

  I stood up and shook her outstretched hand.

  “Yes.”

  “Xanthe Henslowe, I’m Diana’s assistant. Please come this way.”

  I followed her into the lifts. The longer I stood in this building, the sweatier my hands got. I could be in the same place as him right now. The one person who had the ability to rip open the carefully crafted stitches I’d applied to my heart and let me bleed out on the floor all over again.

  “We’re very excited you might be working with us. Emily absolutely loves your comic strip.”

  I glanced at Xanthe, raising an eyebrow.

  “She does?”

  “Oh yes. Some publishers don’t give their authors input into their book’s aesthetic, but Emily is one of our best sellers. When she mentioned it to Diana, she just had to check you out.”

  Xanthe had a very laid back approach to smart casual. Her hair was up in two buns on top of her head and she wore a vibrant, almost neon patterned blouse.

  “I had no idea.”

  And I didn’t. My favourite author liked my comic strip. That was insane, wasn’t it? Especially considering who it was about. I guess you could say I may have carried on drawing the same character over and over since I was a teenager. It evolved into the story of a teenage boy and his many trials and tribulations. I’d called it Kingston Kidz since that was near where I’d grown up.

  Xanthe continued talking all the way up to the fifth floor and down the corridor until we hit the meeting room. There were three people in the room. The first one to stand was the blonde-haired lady who introduced herself as Diana Merry. The green-eyed man was Paolo Cortez, the cover artist, and lastly, the lady from the marketing department, Betty Wendel.

  “I’m afraid Emily’s editor is unable to attend today but we’re all very excited you’re here,” Diana said as we sat down.

  “Oh, that’s absolutely fine.”

  The meeting got started. Emily was branching out into urban fantasy in her latest novel. They wanted to commission artwork from me for the hardcover edition and for their marketing campaign. I could see why Emily wanted me when they showed me their plans and ideas. It matched the style I used for my comic. My mind whirled with possibilities and I knew then and there, I couldn’t turn this down.

  When everything wrapped up an hour later, I grinned from ear to ear, excited to get started. Working on this would be a dream come true.

  “Well, we’ll get the contract over to you as soon as possible, if this all amenable to you,” Diana said as the others were packing up their things. “We just need to run this by Aaron, Emily’s editor first.”

  My heart froze in my chest. Hearing his name made me sick to my stomach.

  “Aaron… as in Aaron Parrish?”

  Diana raised an eyebrow.

  “Yes… do you know of him?”

  I stuffed my tablet back in my bag and shifted in my seat.

  “You could say that.”

  I had no idea he was Emily’s editor. It meant me working on this project hinged on him signing off on it.

  Well, fuck.

  “Now you have me intrigued.”

  What did I say to that? There was one thing I had to know before I decided how to answer.

  “Does he know you arranged this with me?”

  She smiled.

  “Well, not yet. We have a few options to present to him but making Emily happy is our goal and she wants you.”

  “I see.”

  The others left the room, saying goodbye to me on their way out.

  “Do you and Aaron know each other?” Diana asked me as I stood up to go.

  “Um, we went to primary school together, but we haven’t seen each other in a long time.”

  I hoped it was a safe enough statement. No need to go into how close we were. Not with one of his work colleagues.

  “Tell you what, why don’t I take you up to his office? I bet he’d love to see you.”

  I swallowed. The thought of seeing Aaron gave me heart palpitations.

  “I’m sure he’s too busy for a reunion.”

  “Nonsense. Who wouldn’t want to see a childhood friend?”

  I rubbed the back of my neck before slinging my bag over my shoulder. Diana looked so eager and it made me queasy. I shouldn’t have said I knew him. How had I gotten into this mess?

  He would find out about me regardless of whether or not I saw him today. Perhaps if I got this over with now, he might not screw me over by blocking their request to have me work on Emily’s book. Meredith would tell me to suck it up and not allow anything to ruin my opportunity.

  “Well, okay.”

  Diana clapped her hands together and gathered her papers before taking me over to the lifts. We rode up to the sixth floor. She chatted to me along the way, but I hardly listened. My blood pounded in my ears and my body felt stiff as a board.

  You’re going to see him. Fuck. How did this happen?

  I didn’t know how to feel about him not knowing they’d contacted me. Would he have let them if he knew? Aaron had never been a vindictive person, so I couldn’t imagine why he’d say no. There was still the real possibility he wouldn’t allow this considering what happened between us all those years ago.

  I shook myself as we approached his office and turned to Diana.

  “Would you be totally put out if I did this alone? It’s just been a long time and I’m a little… nervous.”

  Diana gave me a knowing smile.

  “Of course, I’ll just let him know he has a visitor.”

  We stopped outside the open door and Diana stuck her head in.

  “Aaron, honey, are you busy?”

  “Always. Why?” came a voice from inside the office. A voice which chilled me to my fucking bones.

  “Oh, well, y
ou know we had a meeting today with an artist for Emily’s book. Turns out they know you from school and would love to say hello.”

  “I guess I can spare a few minutes. Who is it?”

  Diana pulled back without answering and gave me a nod.

  “I’ll be in touch.”

  She waved and walked away with a giant smile on her face. I watched her go before wiping my sweaty palms on my trousers. Then I tried to hold my head high as I walked into his office and pushed the door shut behind me. It was all chrome and glass with black accents everywhere. Sat at the desk with his eyes on a computer screen was the person who I never thought I’d set eyes on again.

  His blonde hair glinted under the strip lights, the shade a little darker than when we’d been teenagers. Those blue-grey eyes were the same as I remembered. The sight of him had my heart in a vice. He was still just as beautiful as he’d always been, if not more so now.

  Why does he have to look so good? I feel so inadequate right now.

  Sucking in a breath, I decided I had to get on with it. There was no going back now.

  “Hello, Aaron.”

  His eyes flicked to me and all the blood drained from his face in an instant.

  “Rhys?” his voice came out in a hushed whisper.

  I gripped my bag strap as an anchor. The world seemed to freeze around us as we stared at each other. All those feelings rushed back in an instant. Ones of lust, desire, love, hurt and betrayal. They whirled around inside me, shattering any sense of self-control and pride I had left.

  A part of me wanted to walk out and never see him again. Another wanted to rain down hell on him for what he’d done to me, to us. And the last part wanted to go to him, hold him close and tell him how much I’d missed him… and how I still loved him after all this time.

  I did none of those things. No, I stared like an idiot who’d got all tongue-tied. The boy I’d fallen in love with had grown up into a man. The only person in this world who’d known every inch of my body just as I knew his. My first kiss. My first love. My first everything.

  It didn’t come as a surprise he recognised me. All those years ago he’d said he’d love me forever. He wouldn’t have forgotten me because I could never forget him. I could feel the pulse of connection between us, hanging in the air like it always had. And it made me want to break down into floods of tears because I never imagined for a moment seeing him again would force my cold, dead heart to beat so violently in my chest.

  “I can’t believe it’s you,” he said after what seemed like an hour of us just staring, but really, it’d probably been a few minutes.

  “Surprise.”

  He let out a little forced laugh before standing and coming around his desk. I tried to stop my mouth watering. His clothes fit him to perfection. His white shirt was crisp and his navy trousers clung in all the right places. I felt stupid in comparison even though I’d been happy with the way I’d scrubbed up when I left my flat earlier.

  Cut it the fuck out. Remember what he did to you. You cannot be lusting after him.

  I couldn’t help it. The years had done nothing to dull my attraction to him. And it made me pretty fucking angry. My own body and mind were betraying me. Aaron had destroyed me. Utterly. I shouldn’t feel this way.

  Fuck. How am I going to get through this when all I want to do is kiss him, pin him down on his desk and show him exactly how much he’d hurt me all those years ago?

  Chapter Fifty

  The very last person I thought I’d ever see again stood in front of me. When Diana had stuck her head around the door, I’d been reading over a contract which was giving me a headache. I should’ve realised when she said the artist Emily wanted was someone I knew from school, it would be him. There was no one else I’d known or been close to who’d been into art or design.

  Rhys King is in front of me. What the actual fuck?

  Very few times in my life had I been left floundering, not knowing what to say. All of those times had been when I’d been in the presence of this boy… no, man. Rhys was a man now. And he looked it. He had a well-trimmed beard. His inky black hair fell in waves, hiding one of his dark eyes from view. It was a little longer at the sides than it had been when we were teenagers. His skin was still tanned and he wore all black. His beautiful hands clutched the strap of the brown satchel he carried.

  Nothing could prepare me for the way my heart clenched and my skin prickled. I couldn’t believe how fucking incredible he looked. He always had, but now, he was so handsome it almost killed me. Every part of me itched to reach out and touch him. To confirm he was real and not some apparition.

  I’m not dreaming, am I?

  How could Rhys King be here? It’d been seven years since I’d laid eyes on him. Since that fateful day when I’d wrecked us and broken his heart. The pain of that experience had never left me. Of what I’d done to him. It haunted me like a fucking black cloud hanging over my head. There was nothing I regretted more in my life than breaking the promises I made to Rhys. And I felt fucking guilt and regret over a lot of things.

  The past seven years had been filled with living up to my parent’s expectations. Just like working for Johnstone & Parrish was. I never thought I’d enjoy being an editor, but when I got to help bring to market books like Emily’s, there was nothing better I could think of doing. The person I had to thank for encouraging me to read was right here. Rhys’ love of books had somehow become mine. And maybe, just maybe, I wanted to put out ones I knew he would like.

  It’s not like Dad immediately stuck me in this role. I’d worked as a junior editor for two years after university. And I’d earnt the promotion by working hard. Besides, he no longer ran the business. His partner, Jeremy Johnstone did and I was thankful for it. He was a good guy who cared a lot about the publishing industry, unlike my father who only cared about image and money. He and I were no longer on speaking terms for a multitude of reasons anyway.

  I couldn’t keep staring at Rhys like a fucking lemon even though every part of me craved him like nothing else. It’d been so long. Too long. My heart had been buried beneath so many layers of pain and suddenly it was full of life again just by seeing him.

  I’d never stopped loving Rhys King. Never stopped wishing everything had been different.

  “I had no idea you were who Emily wanted to work with,” I blurted out, unsure of what else to say.

  He let go of the strap of his bag and rubbed the back of his neck.

  “I didn’t know you were her editor.”

  Did that mean if he’d known, he wouldn’t have accepted a meeting with Diana? I couldn’t ask. He didn’t owe me an explanation. If anything, I owed him one for everything I’d done. For the way I’d hurt him.

  Fuck, I’ve missed you.

  It was like finally being able to breathe again after years of drowning in self-pity and hatred. Funny that when I’d met Rhys, he’d been in a similar state. How the tables had fucking turned.

  “You look good… really good.” For fuck’s sake, don’t say that! “I mean… Jesus, it’s been forever. What are you doing now? I know you’re doing art, but…”

  He didn’t look put out by my question, but who knew how he really felt. His emotions weren’t clear on his face. All those years ago I’d been able to read him so well. Now, I was completely in the dark. And it didn’t sit well with me at all.

  “I freelance in cover design and illustration for the most part. I set up my own business and went full time a year ago. And I produce a free bi-weekly comic strip. Kind of unpaid advertising I guess.”

  He smiled and shrugged, the gesture a little rueful.

  “That’s great… really great. And Steph?”

  You sound like an actual fool right now. Get a fucking grip!

  “She’s great, actually. Has her own online business knitting and crocheting. Her and Graham got a divorce so that was good. I don’t know what he’s doing.”

  “Wow… who’d have th
ought.”

  His smile grew wider.

  “Yeah, I guess she finally had enough, you know.”

  This didn’t feel like a comfortable conversation for either of us. We used to have such camaraderie. Now we were strangers. It didn’t feel right at all. He’d been my best friend for ten years. We’d always been something more than that though.

  Soulmates.

  So why did this feel so awkward now? My fault, I guess. I’d ruined us. I’d destroyed everything we had together.

  Does he still feel what I feel?

  You’d have to be blind to fail to recognise the connection which still remained. As if the cord binding us together had never broken despite our demise.

  Does he care or is he angry?

  I wouldn’t blame him if he hated me or harboured resentment.

  “You look like you’ve done well for yourself,” he said with a glance around the room.

  “I guess so.”

  “Don’t be modest, it’s not every day you get to be an editor for an author like Emily Davidson.”

  Something in the way he said it made me think he liked Emily a lot more than he was letting on.

  Is that why he went ahead with the meeting?

  He stuck his hands in his pockets and looked away.

  “Anyway, I’m sure you’re busy. I should get going… it was… um… I guess I might see you around.”

  I didn’t know what to say. Every part of me screamed to come up with an excuse to keep him here, but I couldn’t. I didn’t deserve that from him.

  He looked at me again, his eyes growing darker as they flicked down to my mouth for the briefest of moments. Then he turned and walked away, opening the door of my office and heading out.

  I stood still for all of thirty seconds after he left the room. Then my legs carried me outside and I called his name.

  “Rhys!”

  He’d got a few feet down the corridor but he stopped and turned, raising his eyebrow. I swallowed hard.

  “Do… do you want to work on Emily’s book?”

  He bit his lip. My pulse spiked further and heat flooded my body. That fucking lip. I hadn’t been seeing things when he looked at my mouth. I saw it in his eyes. He remembered all too well what his gesture meant.