Amber Stigmatized

by Viktor Redreich

  Lawrence drew back from her, gasping for breath. “Come on,” he rasped, pulling on her. “Let’s go to the bed.”

  Amber went along with him and sat down on the bed with him. He immediately turned to her and started kissing her again, holding her face in both of his hands. His fingers dug into her skin, right at the place where the joint of her jaw was. She put her hands over his and shifted his hands a little. He resisted and she gave up, again figuring it was something she needed to get used to.

  She kissed him back some more, really trying to get into it. He wouldn’t hold still, his lips and tongue moving all over the place. She tried to use her own tongue, but to little effect. He didn’t even seem to notice what she was doing. It was honestly a little scary the way he acted, because she had never seen him behave so intensely before. This wasn’t the Lawrence she knew, the Lawrence who treated her so sweetly when she was sad. This version of him was a little rough, a little erratic.

  She started to feel a little on edge as he kissed her and kissed her with hardly a pause for breath, his body wrapped around hers. He might try to have sex with her. She could feel that he was ready, heard it in his breath and saw it in the tent of fabric between his legs. Sex hadn’t been the plan. Honestly, they were already further in the past few minutes than she had thought they would get by the end of the night.

  But it was okay, wasn’t it, because she should be ready to lose her virginity and nothing could be better than losing it to a nice boy who cares for her. That was what she told herself, at least.

  Lawrence ran his hand over her body again, stopping right over her bosom. He squeezed one of her boobies, almost painfully.

  “Ouch,” she muttered into his mouth.

  “Sorry,” he said, jumping back a bit. He did look sorry, but then he went back to kissing her and tightened his grip on her again. It didn’t feel nearly as good as what she did to herself. Actually, it felt kind of bad.

  Amber started to panic a little, doubts bubbling up from under the thin veil of her confidence. “Can we slow down?”

  “I don’t want to.”

  “This just isn’t…” She couldn’t finish what she started to say, his tongue thrusting into her mouth. It’s not how I normally do things, was what she wanted to say. This wasn’t how she did things with Daddy. Daddy told her what to do, building her excitement to explosive levels. Left to her own devices, she didn’t know what to do or how to feel.

  I need to stop thinking about Daddy like that. He’s Kristoff! I’m with Lawrence right now.

  Things weren’t going to feel the same with two different men. She forced her doubts down and tried to kiss Lawrence some more. She couldn’t get into it at all and the doubts came rebounding with even more force than before.

  Amber put her hands on Lawrence’s shoulders and pushed away from him, staggering to her feet. Lawrence half-rose and reached for her. “Where are you going?”

  “I have to use the bathroom,” she stammered.

  “You can’t wait?”

  “You can? You drank all your water and some of mine,” she said, trying to make a joke of it. She ducked away and threw herself into the bathroom, pushing the door shut behind her. After a second of hesitation, she also locked it.

  She started to pace in the small room, turning in sharp little circles. She had no idea what to do. Maybe if she pretended her stomach hurt or she was tired, Lawrence would leave. But did she want him to leave? He hadn’t done anything wrong. She had invited him in, asked him for this.

  Amber reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone, muscle memory taking her straight to the messaging app. She pulled up Daddy’s name and positioned her thumbs over the digital keypad. Instinct demanded she get his help. He would know what to do.

  Daddy, she typed, I need help. Can you come to my dorm room?

  She shifted her thumb to the Send button, couldn’t bring herself to push it. Asking Daddy to come save her from another man felt cruel.

  Amber shook her head and stuck her phone back in her pocket. She took a deep breath. She had to grow up. She’d have sex with Lawrence, really give herself to him in the way he wanted, repaying him for all the kind things he’d done for her.

  The bathroom doorknob rattled. “Are you okay?” Lawrence called in a low voice. “You’ve been in there for ages. Are you hiding?”

  Her heart thundered in her chest.

  “You don’t have to be nervous. I’ll treat your pussy real nice, okay?”

  Footsteps, crossing back and forth in front of the door. Lawrence really wanted her. He wanted her so much he acted like a whole different person.

  Amber licked her lips, tasted him, and found her voice. “Just a moment. It’ll be worth the wait, I promise.”

  “I want to fuck you,” he moaned, sounding as if he had his mouth pressed to the crack of the door. “Amber, I’ve wanted it for so long. You can’t tease me like this.”

  She flushed the toilet to make it seem as if she had used it and went to the sink, running the water for a few seconds to complete the façade.

  Always wash your hands when you get dirty, teacup. I wouldn’t want you to get sick.

  Daddy had said that to her once, when she used to live with him.

  She put her hands under the tap and splashed some of the cold water on her face, and looked at herself in the mirror. She hardly recognized the girl who looked back at her.

  “Amber!”

  “Coming,” she called. She undid the lock on the door and went out to him.

  Lawrence took her into his arms and kissed her again. “You will be soon,” he said.

  She giggled at his play on words.

  He must have taken her laughter the wrong way because he frowned down at her. “You think you won’t? I’ll prove it. Come here.” He pulled on her hard, tugging her back towards the bed.

  Amber went along with him and climbed onto the bed with him. One of her legs ended up over his. He seemed to like it, so she left it there. She put her hands on his chest and pressed her lips to his. He grinned and kissed her back hard, his tongue shoving around in her mouth. She let out a little gasp at his ferocity. And he liked that too, his eyes sparkling, so she made another little sound while kissing him to encourage him. It still didn’t feel amazing to her, but he was enjoying it so that was what mattered.

  Lawrence grabbed the hem of her shirt and lifted it up. She pulled her arms in so he could. He tossed her shirt away and stared at her boobies in their bra. There wasn’t much to look at because she was wearing a sports bra -she usually did when going hiking- but he looked at her like they were a national treasure.

  It was almost a little too much attention. She squirmed, feeling uncomfortable. “What about you?” she requested. “It’s not fair unless you’re shirtless too.”

  Lawrence ground his body on hers, a more intentional version of what she had done. He pulled his shirt off and threw it aside, too. She had seen him without a shirt before, admired his physique, but now the sight of him did something else to her. It worried her. With his powerful arms and sculpted chest muscles, flat abs, he could easily overpower her and do anything he wanted.

  But we’re friends. He wouldn’t do that to me.

  Lawrence grabbed her and turned around, pulling her off him and pushing her onto her back on the bed. She lay there, dizzy. He undid the button and zipper on her jeans and pulled them all the way down, over her thighs and calves and off her feet. He leaned his muscular body over her and pressed intense kisses all over her stomach, trailing his tongue over her skin. It tickled more than anything.

  Lawrence sat up and reached for her bra. “Let me see your tits.”

  As he put his hand on one of her boobies, she grabbed it and held it. “Wait,” she said.

  Lawrence pushed her hands aside and shoved underneath her to undo the clasp on the back. “Just let me see!”

  Amber grabbed her bra and held it over herself, trying to cover her bosom. “Lawrence, wait! Please. I’m nervous.”
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  “Why are you nervous?” he challenged, his voice rough from heavy breathing. “They’re just breasts. I know what they look like and I want to see yours. Look, your nipples out.”

  Amber jerked in shock, realizing one of her boobies had shifted and her pink nipple was poking out into view. She spread out her fingers, trying to cover up without letting go of her bra. Lawrence grabbed her spread fingers and yanked them up, revealing her nipple again and almost making her lose her grip on her bra.

  “I’m not ready!” she cried.

  “Calm down! Just go with it.”

  She couldn’t calm down. Her stomach roiled with nervousness and her heart was pounding. Her head felt funny, like she had heard a loud sound and the echo was still reverberating around inside her. If she had to name what that sound was, she would have said it was an alarm bell, a warning that all of this was wrong. And it was wrong. She knew that. She had known it the whole time even though she had tried to pretend otherwise. Lawrence didn’t deserve to see her body. It wasn’t that he wasn’t a good guy or a great friend or handsome, because he was all of those and more.

  But he wasn’t Daddy.

  No matter what weird intermission their relationship was in, she couldn’t deny any longer that her body belonged to Daddy in her mind. She was Daddy’s little girl. She was his precious teacup, so small and pretty. Nobody should get to see her boobies, her body, except for him.

  “I’m sorry, Lawrence!” she cried. “I can’t!”

  “We’re almost there!” he said. He grabbed her and pushed his body on top of hers, holding her in place. “Just go with it for a little longer.”

  Her mind raced. She had to do something. She couldn’t overpower him.

  Amber shifted her leg over to the side a bit and then shoved up as hard as she could with her knee. Her knee hit him right where his stomach met the top of his thigh. Lawrence grunted and jerked up, his grip on her loosening. “Hey, watch it!”

  Amber twisted and writhed. Somehow -she couldn’t have said how- she managed to pop free of his restricting embrace and slid up onto the bed. She thrust back, pushing and shoving against the mattress, flattening herself up against the wall.

  Lawrence looked at her and he looked like a monster, a ravenous wolf. He started towards her, crawling across the bed after her. His grasping hand came down on her foot. She struggled to kick him, but then he had his other hand on her other foot and he was climbing up her body. Her breath came fast and shallow as she looked at him. He didn’t seem to be aware of what he was doing, how scared she was.

  The dorm room door slammed open, the lock snapping. The door hit the wall and rebounded, slashing through thin air as the intruder lunged past. A tall, handsome man in expensive lounge clothes clamped both hands down on Lawrence’s shoulders and yanked him off the bed and onto the ground in a single movement.

  “Daddy!” Amber cried, gratitude and relief flooding through her veins.

  Lawrence picked himself up off the floor and swung his fist at Daddy. Daddy took the punch without so much as a flinch and threw one of his own, catching Lawrence right in the chest and tossing him across the room. Lawrence rolled to a halt half in the bathroom and lay there. His eyes rolled in a cartoonish manner.

  Daddy strode forward and grabbed Lawrence by the shoulders again and heaved him up to his feet. Compared to the tall man, Lawrence looked like a scarecrow, all stuffed and without substance.

  Daddy lowered his face to Lawrence’s and growled, “Get the hell out of here.”

  “Let go of me!” Lawrence cried.

  Daddy released him and Lawrence fled, rushing out into the hallway.

  Amber watched the whole thing transpire behind a screen of unnatural calm. Funny how when I wanted Lawrence to let go of me, he resisted. I guess it’s different when things are happening to you.

  Daddy turned to her, his face creased with worry. “Teacup?”

  Her calm shattered, all her other emotions pouring out through the break. Tears poured down her face. “Daddy!” She jumped off the bed and ran to him and threw her arms around him. Distantly, she realized that she had finally lost her bra and her boobies were hanging out.

  Daddy didn’t seem to notice or care. He wound his arms around her and drew her in tight against him. “I got your text,” he murmured. “I came as fast as I could.”

  She hadn’t sent that text. Somehow, her phone must have been bumped in a way that resulted in it sending anyway. Fate had brought him to her.

  She understood now.

  She would always belong to Daddy.

  Amber relaxed against him and let go, crying into his arms while he soothed her fears away.

  Chapter 12

  Do what Daddy says

  Daddy pushed the door shut with his foot to prevent anyone from coming by and seeing them. Amber’s tears had mostly run their course by that point, so she was able to think a little more clearly. She wondered why no one had come through all the crashing and shouting, and soon decided that the other girls must have thought it was all part of some sex thing; how mortifying it would be to walk in on another girl to save her, just to discover she was in the middle of some rough lovemaking! Luckily, it didn’t matter that no one had come to check on her. Daddy had come. Daddy was here and that was all that mattered.

  Daddy guided her over to the bed and sat down with his arm around her shoulders. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

  She shook her head and cuddled closer to him. “I’m okay. Daddy, thank you so much.”

  He held her tighter, stroked her hair with his hand. “I’m just glad I got here in time. If anything happened to you…” He let out a low, unamused laugh. “I might have killed him.”

  “Don’t say such scary things!” She trembled and clutched at his shirt.

  “I’m sorry.” He kept stroking her, running his fingers through her hair. “You’re right. You’ve gone through something scary enough already.”

  There was still a darkness in his tone she didn’t like, proof that he meant what he had said. Amber lifted her head and tucked herself up under his chin, laying her cheek on his chest. He rubbed his cheek over her hair and sighed. “What am I going to do with you?”

  “You’re going to love me forever,” she reminded him.

  He chuckled and hugged her. “Yes, I am. But I meant tonight.”

  Fear spiked her heart and she clung to him, digging her nails in. “You’ll stay with me, won’t you? Please, Daddy, stay with me. I don’t want to be alone.”

  He nodded. “Of course, I’ll stay with you. I think we should go to bed now. I was already settled in for the night and would be going to sleep soon, anyway. I’d much rather be spending my time with you.”

  “I’m tired,” she agreed. Hiking all day on top of this big misunderstanding with Lawrence had really done her in.

  Daddy slid down on the bed, laying on his side. He took up most of the mattress space. Amber cuddled up into the spot between his stomach and the wall, like a little fox cuddled up in a hidey hole. The warmth of his body on hers, and knowing she was protected on all sides, quickly lulled her right to the edge of sleep. Her breathing slowed as she cuddled even deeper into his arms, her head resting on his arm. He held her and stroked her hair and back, not seeming to mind her near-nakedness at all.

  She focused on the slow cadence of his breaths, the calm pattering of his heart, and fell asleep.

  The long day kept her asleep straight through the night. She awoke to the sound of her phone alarm clock going off and lifted her head, blinking around herself blearily. Covers draped over her body, layers of them cocooning her. Daddy wasn’t in the bed with her, but that was okay. He would be out on the balcony, looking out over the city.

  Feminine voices rang out, followed by laughter. People passed by outside, their presences intrusive and startling. They shouldn’t have been around. This was Daddy’s bedroom. She was…

  Amber sat up and fumbled to turn off her phone, struggling to think. Memories came
back to her, of what she had gone through the night before. Reality reasserted itself. She was in her own dorm at the college. Daddy couldn’t be out on the balcony, as there wasn’t a balcony here.

  Where did he go?

  The bathroom door hung ajar. She could see right through to the interior, enough to know he wasn’t in there.

  Panic lodged in her throat like a fist. She shoved the covers away and hopped out of bed. “Daddy?” she whispered around the lump in her throat. She trembled all over, even though she wasn’t cold. He had left her all alone in the room without telling her where he had gone. He hadn’t even left a note as far as she could tell. Was he going to come back? What if Lawrence came back?

  She turned back to the bed and threw herself up on it, scrambled across the mattress to where she had left her phone. She grabbed it up and tried to turn it on. The screen stayed dark. The battery had run out after having been left uncharged all night; the alarm had probably sucked the last of the juice out.

  “Darn it!” she yelped, her voice high and strangled.

  Her dorm room door opened. “What’s wrong?”

  She spun around and almost fell off the bed. “Daddy!”

  He put down what he was holding and shut the door, and came to her, wrapping his arms around her. “Did something happen while I was gone?”

  “You left me! I could have needed you!”

  “Don’t you have your phone?”

  Tears brimmed in her eyes. She pouted up at him, trying not to cry again; she felt like she’d done enough of that last night. “If I didn’t have my phone last night, I couldn’t have reached you.” Never mind that she hadn’t actually meant to message him. “Is my phone the only way I’m supposed to get to you when I need you?”

  Daddy made a tutting sound and rocked her back and forth in his arms. “Don’t be mad at me, kitten. I only went to get muffins and coffee for breakfast.”