Amber Stigmatized

by Viktor Redreich

  The next day after that was the free day Daddy had promised. She waited, wriggling impatiently on her bed, while he got ready, and then raced ahead of him and beat him to the elevator. Once the elevator reached the lobby, she made to dash ahead again.

  Daddy grabbed her wrist and pulled her back, chuckling. “You’ll wear yourself out running around like that.”

  She held his hand and hopped up to kiss his cheek. He hadn’t shaved that morning and had a bit of scruff growing. His stubble rasped her sensitive lips. “I’m just so excited! I don’t even know where we’re going and I’m excited.”

  They climbed into the rental car, Daddy behind the wheel. He said, “I thought we could head downtown and explore the shops. I always like to bring something home to remind me of where I’ve been and what I’ve accomplished there.” He stroked her hair down her back and smiled at her. “This being your first trip with me, I want to send you home with a lot of mementos, so you can think back and remember and smile.”

  “You’re so nice to me,” she crooned.

  He coiled a strand of her hair around his finger. “I love taking care of my special girl.”

  All the architecture, modern and historical, faded into the background as Daddy drove them deeper into the city. He seemed to know exactly where he was going, navigating with confidence. Soon enough, they came to an area populated by buildings that reminded Amber of gingerbread houses. They had that perfect sweetness about them, a uniformity, as if all their components had come from the same factory and they were simply assembled in different ways. The streets were wide, the storefronts extravagant, dressed out with columns, curtains and flags. Wide windows provided previews of each store’s wares.

  It was like any downtown district in city, but special, because she didn’t live there. Her mind raced. She pressed her face to the car window, her breath fogging on the glass. “Look, Daddy! A flower shop. Do they sell different kinds of flowers from in America? And there’s a boutique! And a pet store! What kind of pets do they have in Germany?”

  Daddy laughed and pulled into a parking spot on the side of the street, in front of a deli. “Germany isn’t all that far north compared to where we live. I’m sure the flowers available are very similar. As for pets, rodents are much more popular here in Europe. Hamsters, mice…”

  “Can we see them? Can I get one?”

  “Don’t you want to look around before you make any decisions?” He was still laughing.

  “I want to look at everything!” Amber cried. She leaped out of the car and bounced impatiently on the sidewalk until Daddy came around to her, and then she ran with him into the nearest shop, which just so happened to be a candy store. She whirled around once she was inside, staring with delight at all the displays of brightly-colored sweets. Hard candies fountained down into containers, sorted by color, and a spinning shelf held individual flavors of jelly beans. There were gummy bears of all sizes, up to five pounds, and licorice pieces, and toffee, and chocolate covering everything imaginable.

  Amber grabbed up a box of hazelnut chocolates, and then a handful of lollipops made in layers so they changed flavors while being sucked.

  Daddy appeared behind her and nudged her, holding out a basket. “Get whatever you like,” he told her.

  She gladly did as he said, filling the basket right to the brim. Children in the store stared at her with jealousy and delight. As Daddy was checking out, paying for the treasure trove of candies, a little girl came up to Amber and tugged on her sleeve.

  “You’re so lucky to have a boyfriend like that,” the girl said. “I wish I have a boyfriend who buys me everything I want someday.”

  Amber smiled at the little girl. “He’s not my boyfriend. He’s my Daddy.”

  The little girl’s eyes grew wide. “Wow,” she breathed.

  The girl’s mother came over and guided her away. As she was being herded out of the store, the girl asked her mother, “Why doesn’t my Daddy buy me so much candy?”

  Amber wrapped her arms around Daddy’s arm and hugged onto him. He turned to her, holding a bag bulging with his purchases. “Shall we get going?”

  “Yes!”

  From the candy shop, they went into a florist, and then a pet shop. As Daddy had said, there were a ton of pretty little gerbils and hamsters on sale. Amber squealed over their pink noses and tiny paws. “I need one!”

  “Maybe when we get back home.”

  “But I want one now!”

  Daddy looked at her sternly. “It wouldn’t be very nice to the hamster to move around so much. And how would we get it on the plane?”

  “I didn’t think of that,” she admitted.

  “Maybe when we get home,” he repeated. As he led her out of the pet store, much in the same manner as the little girl’s mother had pulled her away from all the candy, he asked, “If you were to get a hamster, what color would you like it to be?”

  Amber hid her smile. He was going to get her one. She knew it. “White. And it needs to be a girl.”

  From there, they went to one of the boutiques they had seen while driving through. German fashion was fascinating. Tops and bottoms weren’t supposed to match. The more eclectic the look, the better. Silhouettes should be strong. Amber delighted in mixing and matching outfit components, picking out pieces which she could combine in any number of ways. She leaned towards bright colors and frilly skirts, the clothes that made her feel so pretty and girly when she tried them on in the dressing room.

  Daddy seemed on the verge of devouring her with his eyes.

  They took the bags of clothing out to the car together. Amber flopped against the side of the vehicle, out of breath from changing so many times. “What will we do now? Where else can we go?”

  Daddy pointed into the distance. “See that?”

  She followed his finger and saw a rounded shape bulging up against the sky. “What is it?”

  “A Ferris wheel. There should be an amusement park over there. Do you want to go and see? We can always come back and shop more if it’s boring.”

  “Let’s go there! I wonder if they’ll have a carousel?”

  Daddy pulled the car keys from his pocket and twirled them on his finger, then caught them in his hand again. “We’ll find out.”

  The amusement park was surrounded by a high wall, but it wasn’t high enough to obscure the rides from view. There was the Ferris wheel, rotating slowly, the occupants of the cars waving down at the crowds on the ground. Looping rollercoasters snaked through the air, carrying screaming riders.

  Amber ran through the front gate after Daddy paid for their tickets and craned her head to take in as much as she could. Everything was so bright, so loud. Music from speakers, from rides, from carnival games all blasted, competing to be heard the most. The scents of buttery popcorn and hot sugar hung around like a fog no matter where she went.

  “Hold on, Amber!” Daddy called. He caught up to her and held her hand in his. “I don’t want to lose you in the crowd.”

  She hadn’t even noticed the other people all around. She smiled at him, sheepish. “I’ll stay close to you, Daddy, I promise. But does that mean you’ll be riding the carousel with me?”

  He chucked her under the chin and started walking. “I’ll go with you wherever you like.”

  As they walked, Amber made careful note of all the things she wanted to eat, all the rides she wanted to ride. She just had to get on the carousel first. That was just the rule.

  A woman sitting on a bench nudged her husband, sitting beside her. “Look at that girl and her father. Why can’t that be you and Sarah?”

  The husband sighed. “Because Sarah’s too ‘cool’ to like anyone. I can’t wait until this phase works itself out. Where’d she go off to, anyway? The line wasn’t that long.”

  Then Amber and Daddy rounded the corner, and she could hear no more of their conversation. It stuck with her though, resonating in her mind. She turned to Daddy. “Did you hear what that couple said?”

  “I
did,” he replied, sounding neutral.

  She wanted to pout at him for not being as excited as she was, but she couldn’t really find it in her to be mad when they were in such a happy place. As unfair as it was, she also could be happy about something that Daddy wasn’t. It wasn’t fair, but she couldn’t help it. Something about total strangers seeing them as father and daughter lit her up inside, providing proof they were meant to be together.

  A distinctive striped tent top came into view. The carousel. Amber pulled Daddy towards it and they joined the line just in time to be let on for the next round. He climbed onto the platform and helped pull her up after him. She set off in a circle, scanning for the best horse to ride. Each one was different from the last, not just in color but in the decorations on their saddle and bridle.

  “Why not this one?” Daddy asked, pointing at a static carriage being drawn by a golden unicorn.

  “It doesn’t go up and down.”

  “We can ride again,” he told her. “I just want to sit with you first this time and watch the scenery.”

  She couldn’t argue with that, especially if it meant she got to ride again. She went and sat down on the bench with him.

  When all the others on the ride had found their own seats, the ride began. The music changed, picking up its pace as the carousel started to turn. The amusement spark whirled around Amber and Daddy, a dizzying blur of color and sound. She laughed and clung to Daddy, tucking her head close to his. “I love Germany!”

  He laughed and stroked her face. He tilted his head down to hers, his lips parting as if he had something to say. Instead, he kissed her.

  Amber gasped out loud as pleasure flew through her body, sparks dancing between her legs. She leaned her head back, putting her hand between their faces. “Daddy, you’re not supposed to kiss me. We’re not like that anymore, remember?”

  “I’m sorry,” he apologized. He looked so dashing and handsome, with the wind blowing his hair back all wild and untamed. “I got carried away. You look so beautiful, like a princess. I couldn’t resist.”

  She smiled at him and kissed his cheek. “You’re silly.”

  “And you are irresistible,” he breathed.

  Something about his warm breath on her ear, the motion of his lips so close to her face, stirred a desire inside him. Though the carousel was coming to a stop, she could feel she was about to get started. Tentatively, trembling with excitement and nerves, she tilted her head and brushed her lips on his.

  “Amber,” Daddy sighed, and tangled his hands in her hair. He kissed her again, his lips claiming hers. She pressed close to him, breathing fast, and let him have her. If she was irresistible, then so was he.

  Someone nearby gasped. “Are they kissing?”

  “Oh, my gosh. Aren’t they father and daughter?”

  Amber smiled at the reactions of the other riders on the carousel. And she kept kissing Daddy, holding his face while his tongue found its way into her mouth.

  Already it was the best day she’d ever had, and it wasn’t even over yet.

  Chapter 15

  Brave little teacup

  A bright light glanced across her eyes. Amber groaned and pulled her covers over her head. “Five more minutes,” she said.

  Heavy, slow footsteps approached, and then a solid weight pressed down on the mattress next to her. “Rise and shine, my little girl,” Daddy said. He took the covers and rolled them down. “The sun is up. It’s time to start your day.”

  She blinked up at his handsome face and pursed her lips. She tried to wriggle down under the blankets again. He put his hands under her arms and pulled her back up, and moved her into a sitting position. “Now where do you think you’re going? What’s under there?” Daddy pulled the cover up and peered underneath.

  Amber squealed, jolting out of her sleepiness. “Don’t look under the covers! I don’t have any pants on.”

  Daddy kept holding the covers high, exposing her pink panties and her long, smooth legs. He looked at her for a very long time before tossing the covers the rest of the way off her. “It’s not anything I haven’t seen before,” he reminded her, his voice deliberately light, belying his intense expression. “Now, come on. It’s time to get up for breakfast.”

  She sighed and wiggled her toes. He trailed his finger over the tips of them, making her giggle. She kept wiggling her toes, inviting him to tickle her again, but he didn’t. His look grew a little more stern. She was pushing at her limits. She didn’t want him to get mad at her. “What’s for breakfast today?” she asked.

  “I can either make you one of the omelets you like so much, or I have everything we need for waffles.”

  “Let’s do waffles. I like your omelets, but I want something sweet.”

  “You want something sweet, do you?” Daddy bent over her and brushed his lips over hers. “How’s that? Sweet enough for you?”

  His kiss made her tingle between her legs. She pressed her thighs together and tried to ignore it. “No,” she teased him. “Needs syrup.”

  He laughed and stroked her hair, and took her hand. “Come on. You do this every day. You should have learned by now that I’m not going to let you spend all day in bed.”

  Oh, I know. I just like the attention.

  Amber climbed out of bed and let him lead her out of the guest bedroom, down the hall to the kitchen.

  After she went with him to Berlin, she had decided she couldn’t be without him. She begged and begged and pleaded with him until he finally saw things her way. She had moved out of her dorm on the college campus and into the guest room in his condo, where they could see each other every morning and night and all the wonderful hours between. Each day, Daddy would get up first and get ready for the day. Sometimes Amber awoke early and lay there in her bed listening to him moving around. When he was ready, he went into her room and woke her up, and then they had breakfast together. After breakfast, Amber got ready, and then Daddy took her to college for her classes, or wherever else she needed to be.

  Because she wasn’t taking many classes, she often got to stay in the condo with him while he worked. If he had to leave and couldn’t bring her with him, she entertained herself, always counting the hours until he could return to her.

  Amber trotted to the fridge and opened the door. A blast of cold air made her shiver, her nipples standing out under her shirt. She took out the gallon of milk and set it on the counter, and left the door standing open while she fetched a cup. Daddy reached out with his long arm and pushed the door shut with a soft thump. She poured herself some milk and added a splash into a mug for Daddy’s coffee.

  He took the mug from her with a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you.”

  She smiled. “You’re welcome. I’m such a big help.”

  “If you want to help more, you could get the flour out of the pantry, and the salt and baking powder.”

  She gladly did as he asked, fetching all the ingredients he needed. She leaned her elbows on the counter and watched while he expertly measured out the dry ingredients, pausing to sift the flour twice for a lighter, fluffier waffle. He stirred milk and two beaten eggs into the flour mixture, the muscles in his back and arm rippling in a pleasant way. Amber placed her hand on his shoulder to feel his muscles working.

  He didn’t stir long enough to satisfy her need to touch him. He set the bowl of batter aside and moved to fetch the waffle iron, and started it up. Before long, they had a giant pile of golden brown waffles to share.

  Amber piled several onto her place and took it to the table, where she had helpfully set out the syrup without having to be asked. She poured a lot of the sticky, sweet syrup on her waffles and then tore them into pieces with her fork. She stirred the mixture all together until she wound up with a fluffy, sugar-soaked pile. Digging in, she pronounced, “Delicious! Daddy, you’re the best cook.”

  He had been watching her entire process with something like amusement and adoration. He cut into his own waffle and forked up a square to his mouth. “No one
would ever know it, looking at your plate.”

  Amber shrugged and kept eating. “Where did you learn to cook? Why do you have to cook? Couldn’t you hire a chef?”

  “Sometimes I do, during particularly busy months. Otherwise, I learned to cook in the same way many young men learn to cook. I figured out that making food is cheaper than buying it made. It was a necessity. Now it’s fun.”

  “I don’t really know how to cook,” Amber said.

  “I’m aware.” He chuckled and looked at her fondly. “Notice how I don’t let you near the toaster anymore.”

  She wriggled in her chair and giggled. Their first morning together, she had been in charge of toasting their bagels. “I didn’t know you were supposed to cut them in half first.”

  “The whole kitchen filled with smoke. I came in and found you poking a knife inside the toaster while it was still plugged into the wall. You could have hurt yourself.” He looked suddenly thoughtful. “Maybe I should teach you some things so you know better.”

  Amber finished her breakfast and pushed her plate away. She licked a drizzle of syrup from her thumb. “I want to learn anything you can teach me, Daddy. Maybe it would be nice to learn how to cook so I can help you more.” They could work together to prepare beautiful meals and eat them by candlelight -if she ever succeeded in using a lighter. Her fingers were too delicate and pushing the spinny wheel hurt. But she was too scared of matches.

  Daddy should probably just light the candles, then.

  “Do you have any candles?” she asked.

  He must have known where she was going because he laughed. “My Amber, we’re going to start with the basics. We won’t be making souffle anytime soon. We’ll start with scrambled eggs and toast.”

  She frowned, disappointed, but then smiled. “Then I can make you breakfast by myself.”

  “That’s right.”

  “I could bring it to you on a tray like wives do in movies!”

  Daddy laughed. “I’ve had breakfast in bed before and it’s not nearly as relaxing as you’d think. Besides, I’d rather come and eat with you.”