Tainted Forever

by Terri Anne Browning

  I felt Jace tense beside me, and I gave his hand a squeeze, trying to remind him it was okay. Kassa was an adult now, and she was engaged. This wasn’t a bad thing. He could be happy for her, and probably—most definitely—should not kill his future brother-in-law.

  “That’s great news!” Alicia squealed, jumping up to hug the happy couple.

  Kassa beamed as she wrapped her arms around the woman. “I don’t know why I was so nervous.”

  “I thought you were going to wait until after you got married,” Jace commented, setting down his plate on the coffee table and standing.

  “This wasn’t part of the plan,” Kassa agreed. “It was just as much of a surprise to us as it is to you. But I’m really excited, Jace. Scared out of my mind, but excited.”

  He hugged her, holding her against him carefully as if he thought he might break her if he didn’t. “Then I’m happy for you, little sis.” He kissed the top of her head. “Does this mean the wedding date is moving up?”

  “Well…” She bit her lip for a second before nodding. “Actually, planning this wedding is a major pain in the ass. It’s just as stressful as Lucy made it out to be. And now that I’m pregnant, Gray and I have decided just to be done with it.”

  “You are not getting married in Vegas,” Alicia scolded.

  “No, of course not,” Kassa assured her. “Actually, we thought we would all go down to the courthouse tomorrow.” Her blue eyes met mine. “I mean, we have everyone here who matters the most.”

  “Are you sure, honey?” Alicia asked softly.

  “We’re sure,” Gray answered, pulling Kassa against him for a quick kiss. “A traditional wedding doesn’t matter to us. All I want is for her to be my wife.”

  The way Kassa looked up at him, her entire heart shining out of her eyes and making her glow, had a lump filling my throat. “I love you,” she whispered.

  “I love you more.”

  “Okay then, it’s settled.” Alicia was crying now, but her smile was so bright it could have lit up the room. “Two of my babies are getting married tomorrow. I’m so happy right now.”

  “You don’t even have a dress, though,” Jace grumbled.

  “I brought something with me. It’s not a wedding dress, but it is white.” She patted her brother on the arm. “Don’t worry. At least now you won’t have to wear a suit. Just some slacks and a button-up.”

  “Kin, do you have something to wear?” Alicia asked.

  I nodded. “I brought a few dressy things with me. My case is in the car, actually. I didn’t take it out last night since I still have clothes back at Carter’s.”

  “See?” Kassa laughed, hugging Gray happily. “This is fate, babe. We were meant to get married this week.”

  Chapter 23

  Jace

  The house was quiet as I walked downstairs. With everything going on in my head with Alicia and now with Kassa and Gray, I couldn’t sleep.

  It didn’t help that Kin was right next door, in my sister’s bed. She was within touching distance, but I couldn’t touch her the way I wanted. It was taking every ounce of willpower I possessed not to climb into bed beside her, which was why I was putting as much distance as the house would allow between me and temptation.

  Exhausted from all the sleepless nights I’d had over the last few months, I walked into the kitchen. I wasn’t even hungry, but I needed a distraction before I did something that would have Kin running off on me.

  “Want to share this pint of ice cream with me?” her voice asked as she closed the freezer door and turned to face me.

  I blinked, for a moment thinking I was only seeing what I wanted to see. Kin stood by the fridge, a pint of slow-churned vanilla ice cream in her hands, dressed in one of my old T-shirts and not much else from what I could see. Her hair was in a messy bun on top of her head, making her look both beautiful and adorable. The lights over the sink and stove were on, the only illumination in the room, casting her in a soft glow.

  She waved the ice cream at me. “Please don’t make me eat this all by myself. I’ll feel like a total cow in the morning and run myself to death. Kassa will kick my ass if I don’t look good for her wedding.”

  Swallowing hard, I walked over to the silverware drawer and extracted two spoons. After I offered her one, she leaned back against the sink beside me and took the lid off the ice cream.

  I grabbed a paper towel, wrapping it around the container and holding it so we could both eat from it.

  For several minutes, we ate in silence, and I soaked up the feeling of being beside her. Fuck, I’d missed this. It wasn’t until I’d lost Kin that I realized how comforting it was just to be in the same room with her.

  “You’re awfully quiet,” she murmured.

  “Got a lot on my mind, baby. Everything is spinning around in there.”

  “It’s going to be okay,” she told me, and I wanted to believe her so fucking badly, I ached.

  Unable to answer, I nodded, taking another bite. We fell back into a comfortable silence for a few more minutes. Just standing there, pigging out on ice cream with her, put me at ease. She was my calm, my safe place. The one person I knew wouldn’t judge me, who would have my back when I needed her the most. Kin was my other half, and I felt like a ghost floating aimlessly through life without her.

  “I love you.”

  I blinked down at her, unsure if she’d actually said those words or if I’d imagined them. “I love you too,” I said, not caring if she’d said them or if my mind was just playing tricks on me.

  “I’m not saying that just to hear you say the words back,” she said, and I was able to breathe a little easier because she really had said those three powerful words. “Or because I know you’re going through a lot right now and I feel sorry for you. I am sorry about Alicia, but that isn’t why I said it.”

  She was rambling, and it was so adorable, it brought a smile to my lips. “Good to know.”

  “I’ve done a lot of thinking the last few weeks. About me, about you. Mostly about us.” She took another bite, letting the frozen sweetness melt on her tongue before swallowing. “No matter how hard I want to fight it, I’m never going to stop loving you. Being away from you, it only makes me hurt more. I hate that I love you that much, Jace.”

  My stomach bottomed out, and I didn’t think I could handle another bite of ice cream. “Kin—”

  “If you could go back in time and tell me about Eden the first time you saw her, would you?”

  “Yes,” I told her honestly, not hesitating. “If I could reverse time, there are a lot of things I would change. I didn’t realize how shitty I treated you until I lost you. Looking back, I can see how much you really do love me because you put up with my crap for so long. I regret not showing you that you are the most important person in my life. You are, though, Kin. You’re everything. I love you so fucking much, and I took you for granted. I swear to you on my life, on my soul, I’ll never do that again, baby.”

  She dropped her spoon into the half-empty ice cream container. “But reversing time is impossible,” she murmured. “We can’t go back, no matter how much we want to.”

  “No,” I agreed, swallowing with difficulty. “But if you give me a chance, we can start over.”

  Kin sucked her bottom lip between her teeth, and I waited for her to speak, holding my breath. Her lids lowered, and she exhaled slowly before looking up at me. “I’m not going anywhere, Jace. But right now, I think we should keep our relationship to just being friends. You’re hurting, and your head isn’t on straight. That isn’t the way to start over.”

  I dropped the ice cream into the sink, turning away from her so she couldn’t see my face. “Yeah, okay.”

  “Jace.” Her soft hands touched my bare back and my entire body began to heat, but I couldn’t turn around. I couldn’t let her see the tears that were already blinding me.

  “It’s okay. I get it,” I lied, surprised my voice didn’t betray
me. I didn’t get it. I didn’t understand why, if she loved me, we couldn’t simply be together again. I needed her, damn it. I needed something I knew I could hold on to because everything else was fucked up in my life.

  “No, you don’t,” she said with a sigh. She wrapped her arms around my waist, her face pressing into my back. “I’m not going anywhere,” she repeated. “But you need time to sort through all the things going on in your life right now. I want everything to be perfect, and it’s not right now.”

  “There will always be something going on in our lives, baby. Life isn’t perfect for more than ten minutes at a time because everything is constantly changing.” I covered her hands on my stomach, rubbing my thumb over the backs of her knuckles. “But if I have you, none of that fucking matters. I can face all of that shit. I can find a way to handle anything that happens as long as I have you.”

  She squeezed me, and I felt her lips touch my shoulder. My body instantly reacted, my cock hardening and my heart pounding. “You do have me,” she whispered.

  “Do I?” I shook my head. “If we’re not together, then I don’t have all of you.”

  “That’s not fair.”

  I turned around to face her, lifting her hands to press against my heart, not giving a damn that my tears were pouring down my cheeks. “I’m a selfish son of a bitch, Kin. I always have been. But where you’re concerned, I can’t seem to help it. I want all of you. Every inch of your heart, every drop of love you can give me. I want it all.”

  “You have it all,” she breathed, her pulse fluttering at the base of her throat.

  “Then take me back. Put me out of my misery and be mine again.” I released her hands, only to grab her ass and lift her off her feet. Thank fuck, she was wearing panties, but hell, she was already soaked.

  Without hesitation, she wrapped her legs around my hips, her arms going around my neck. Her breath hitched when my hardness flexed against her core, her lids lowering but not before I saw the flash of need shining out of her blue eyes.

  “J-Jace,” she moaned when I pressed her harder against me, squirming against my cock.

  I turned us so she was sitting on the edge of the counter. Lowering my head, I kissed the corner of her mouth. When she tried to turn her head so I would kiss her fully, I pulled back, denying us both. With my hands now free of her perfect ass, I tugged her shirt up, revealing her bare tits. I cupped each one, squeezing and massaging, teasing around the nipples without actually touching them and making her squirm even more.

  The scent of her arousal was driving me crazy. Fuck, I hadn’t tasted her in months, and I was dying for the flavor of her sweet pussy on my tongue.

  I dropped to my knees, spread her thighs with my shoulders, and shifted her panties out of my way. She gripped my hair, her fingers tightening at the roots as I sucked her clit into my mouth.

  “Fuck,” she whimpered, her back arching as she ground her pussy against my mouth. I pulled her closer to the edge, giving me better access, and thrust my tongue into her opening. “Oh God.”

  Her juices were flowing faster, flooding into my mouth as her walls contracted around my tongue. I pulled back, looking up at her. She was mine; the look in her eyes told me everything I needed to know.

  Cursing, I stood, pushed down my sweats, and thrust into her. We both groaned as I pushed balls deep into her. She was beginning to shake, and I was no better. She felt so damn good. “So tight,” I groaned, thrusting into her again. “So wet.” I twisted my hips, rubbing that spot deep inside her pussy with my cock and making her mewl in pleasure. “So mine.”

  “Yes,” she moaned, her nails slicing into my back, urging me on. “Oh God.” She leaned forward, her mouth seeking mine, but I pulled my head back. “Jace,” she whined, wanting my kiss.

  “You want all of me?” I growled, and she nodded, her mouth falling open as she began to pant with her building need. “Then give me all of you,” I commanded. “Tell me you’re mine.”

  “Just kiss me,” she pleaded. “I can’t come until you kiss me.”

  I thrust harder, picking up my pace, but I knew she was right. There was something about my kiss that always sent her over the edge. We could go all night, and she wouldn’t come until my lips were on hers, my tongue tangling with hers.

  “You want to come, baby?” She whimpered. “All it’s going to take is two little words, and I’ll give you everything you need.”

  “Jace,” she gasped, her walls starting to convulse around my girth. “Please.”

  I stopped, my cock half inside her, her greedy pussy trying to suck me back in the rest of the way. Sweat was pouring down my back, and I knew it was a matter of only seconds rather than minutes before I was spilling everything I had deep inside the wonderland of her pussy. But I wanted her back so fucking badly. If she wanted to come, I needed her to be mine first.

  “I love you,” I told her, our gazes locking. “I’m a fucking idiot, and I know I don’t deserve you, but I need you, Kin. I’ll spend every day for the rest of my life proving to you that you are the most important person in my world. I won’t take you for granted again. I won’t keep anything from you, ever. Just take me back. Please.”

  She gulped in one deep breath after another, her eyes filling with tears. “I love you too,” she whispered.

  I thrust into her so deep we both gasped, but I stopped again, holding myself completely still inside of her tight heat. “Kin, I’m dying without you.”

  “Me too,” she sobbed.

  “Then say it. Put us both out of our misery, baby.” I kissed her cheek, drinking away the tears that were flowing freely. “Be mine.”

  “I am,” she cried. “I always have been.”

  Everything inside of me clenched. “Yeah?” She nodded. “We can be together again?”

  “Yes,” she moaned, nodding. “Yes. Now, kiss me. Please, just kiss me.”

  I gripped her ass in my hands, holding on as I thrust into her again, my mouth sealing with hers. She kissed me back, hungry for more, her needy little moans and whimpers muffled by my lips. My tongue brushed hers, and her pussy began to convulse as her orgasm hit her.

  I kissed her through it, my hips pumping harder. Her nails clawed at my back just as I began to spill into her. My legs started to go weak from the power of my release, and I locked my knees.

  Kin broke the kiss, her forehead pressing into my shoulder as we both attempted to catch our breath. But even as my body began to cool, my cock remained hard inside her. She squirmed against me, her pussy walls clenching around me all over again.

  “Bed,” she whimpered, her lips brushing over my neck. “Take me to bed.”

  Reluctantly, I pulled free from her and tugged my sweats up to cover my still-throbbing cock. I swung her up into my arms and raced upstairs, taking the steps two at a time. In my bedroom, I kicked the door shut and locked it before setting her on the edge of the bed. Pushing her back, I followed her down, her hands already shoving my sweats over my ass and down my thighs.

  I yanked her shirt over her head, tossing it across the room. Her lips sought mine, and this time, I let her take control, kissing me as hungrily as she wanted as she twisted until she was on top of me. I reached between us, moving her panties out of the way again and positioning my cock at her entrance and pushing up into her. My come mixed with her own release made it easy to slide in, but it didn’t keep her from moaning as I flexed deep inside her.

  “We have a lot of time to make up for,” I told her, tearing the sides of her panties away and then slapping her ass. She clenched around me, and I slapped her again. Her eyes darkened in pleasure as she began to move her hips, riding me slowly.

  “I love you,” she breathed, leaning down to suck on my neck. “Fuck, oh God, Jace. I missed you so bad, baby.”

  “Kin.” She was teasing me with how slow she was going, knowing it would only drive me wilder for her. “Marry me.”

  Her hips went still, and she slowly lifted
her head. I held my breath, waiting for her answer. But she shook her head. “No.”

  My heart stopped. “Why?”

  “You still haven’t gotten the proposal right,” she said, a smile teasing at her lips, and she began to move her hips again. “When you get it right, I’ll say yes. But until then, the answer will always be no.”

  Groaning, I grabbed her ass and flipped her under me. “I’ll try again until I get it right,” I vowed.

  “Good,” she whispered. “Don’t ever give up.”

  Chapter 24

  Kin

  The bed was empty when I woke up the next morning. There had been little sleep for either of us the night before, leaving my mind foggy with exhaustion. But my body seemed to hum with the remembered pleasure Jace had spent the entire night giving me.

  I walked sleepily into the kitchen, barely glancing at the four people sitting at the table eating breakfast. I’d grabbed a pair of Jace’s sweats and another one of his shirts before coming downstairs, and they hung off me as I crossed half blind to the coffeepot for a cup.

  From behind me, I heard Gray snickering. Knowing the reason why, I felt heat fill my face. Keeping my back to the table, I sipped my coffee and tried to pretend he hadn’t heard me losing my mind the night before while Jace fucked me.

  Thickly muscled arms wrapped around my waist seconds before Jace kissed my neck. “Hungry?”

  I melted back against him with a shake of my head. “Not up to eating.”

  “Not even if I made you an omelet?” he enticed, but I shook my head, my stomach protesting at just the thought of eggs.

  “I’m good with coffee for now,” I assured him.

  “Then come sit with me.” Taking my hand, he tugged me over to the table and pulled out a chair between his and Kassa’s. “We were just talking about the wedding.”

  Kassa tossed her fork into her bowl of fruit. I didn’t know how long she’d been eating, but the bowl was nearly full, and that wasn’t like her at all. Even if she’d been there five minutes, that fruit should have been nearly gone, she loved it that much. Wondering if she was just having morning sickness, I gave her my full attention.