by Miers, Fiona
“Emma?”
Reluctantly she gazed at her husband and swallowed the lump in her throat.
“What is the matter?”
She pursed her lip for a moment and expelled a slow breath. “My father wrote to me.”
“An entire letter?”
“Multiple pages, in fact.”
“That is rather peculiar.”
She nodded. “My mother is ill, and her physician is not optimistic of her recovery.”
Emma watched as Charles’ face paled and his eyes softened. “I am sorry to hear that.”
“I must go and see her, perhaps take the children as well.”
“They will very much like that. They are very fond of your parents’ country home.”
Happy to have a plan and Charles’ approval, she gripped the letter tightly in her hand. “I will write to my father and inform him of our visit,” Emma said, fighting back the tears in her eyes.
“Emma, what ails your mother?” he asked.
“Here,” she said and handed him the letter. “Read it for yourself.”
Charles nodded as he took the sheets of paper from her and began to read. Emma opened the drawer of the desk and retrieved her stationary, her inkwell, and her quill.
Her thoughts were muddled, and she did not know how to express them in writing. Her mother had been unwell for a long while, but nothing compared to the knowledge her father had shared. He described in detail how there was a mass growing inside her mother’s belly. Her physician was not certain what it was, but was convinced it would continue to grow, adding pressure to her lungs. She had already been struggling to breathe properly, and her prognosis was not optimistic.
Although the circumstances were morose, it was the ideal time to visit her parents as she could not bear to remain at Finlay Hall.
If Charles offered to accompany them, she would have to decline the offer. She did not possess the mental strength to spend an extended time in a coach with him and the children. She felt terrible thinking such things, but she could not change her current mindset.
Charles had hurt her, and the pain was not something that would simply vanish quickly.
Emma drew in another breath and noticed Charles lowering the pages. She did not dare look directly at him, as she would most certainly start sobbing once more. Charles rose to his feet and she glanced at him with a furrowed brow.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“To prepare for our journey to Mill Grand House.”
“Charles, wait,” Emma said and rose to her feet.
“What is it?”
“I do not expect you to accompany me and the children. We are perfectly fine to make the journey on our own.”
“Do you not wish for me to come?” he asked.
EMMA DREW IN A DEEP breath, and Charles stared at her. Her lovely face was always very expressive, and he had no trouble recognising the concern she felt for her mother. He was aware he should apologise to her. He had been unspeakably rude to her last evening, and without cause.
Somewhere in the middle of his sleepless night, Charles had realised that Emma was not to blame for any of it. He had been insecure and had directed his anger towards her instead of towards himself.
Joseph was to blame. He was the one who had not only invited Emma to the poetry reading but also made an advance towards her, which had not been well-received.
It did please Charles to know that Emma had slapped Joseph for his inappropriate behaviour, but he was unable to tell her, as he did not wish to bring up the subject again. Emma was already distressed enough after hearing the terrible news of her mother.
Charles also knew that Emma had thought of his business partnership and their family name when she agreed to accompany Joseph. She had only wished to keep the peace, and Charles realised this. Perhaps too late.
“You only arrived last evening after a very gruelling journey from London. I do not wish for you to spend another day cooped up in a coach. Sleep is important to you and you need to rest, or not a soul on earth will want to be around you,” she said. “And I also think that the space would do us the world of good. Do you not agree?”
Her words were not in the least bit insulting as they were completely true, and he appreciated her honesty. He nodded and took his seat on the chair again. “Whatever you think is best.”
He watched Emma proceed to write a letter to her father, her face expressing all the feelings she penned on the page. There were moments where her eyes filled with tears, but she bravely willed them away.
Charles felt every bit the fool Emma thought he was. He could not believe that he had treated her so poorly, and now she would soon leave, taking their children with her to visit their grandparents.
Although he was reluctant to let her travel alone with the children, he was aware that she required some distance from him. She needed to spend time with her dying mother, and her father, and, of course, taking the children to see their grandmother before it was too late. Charles certainly did not wish to stand in her way.
Emma’s mother, the Viscountess of Taunton, was a lovely woman, and he had much respect for her. She was kind and caring but also fiery and intelligent, attributes that Emma had clearly inherited from her.
“Thank you, Charles. I appreciate you permitting me to go,” Emma said suddenly, looking up from where she was writing her letter.
“Of course. It is your mother. Although I would have preferred to accompany you and the children, I do understand your needs as well. And I respect them.”
Emma pursed her lips and nodded quietly as she lowered her gaze.
“I shall leave you to finish your letter to your father. I will inform the children of the news,” Charles said as he rose to his feet.
Emma’s head jolted up and she frowned. “You cannot tell them of my mother’s condition.”
Charles smiled for a moment and shook his head. “I was referring to the visit.”
Emma sighed a breath of relief. “My apologies.”
“You do not even need to apologise to me, Emma,” Charles said, hoping his words would provide her with both assurance and comfort.
“Thank you.”
“I will leave to you to it, then.” Charles said, placing a hand on her shoulder, hoping it conveyed his silent support. Before he stepped away and quietly left the parlour.
As he made his way through the hallway, Thomas approached him.
“Are you well, brother?” Thomas asked.
“In a manner of speaking, yes.”
“What does that mean?” Thomas asked.
Charles’s jaw clenched and he sighed. “Emma received a letter from her father. Her mother is gravely ill, and she does not seem to have much time left.”
“That is terrible news. I am so sorry to hear it. How is Emma?”
“She is preparing a post for her father. She and the children will travel to Taunton at their earliest convenience.”
“Will you not be accompanying them?” Thomas asked.
“At Emma’s request, I will remain here. It is the best option for all of us.”
Thomas pursed his lips and studied him for a few moments. “With all due respect, brother, I am inclined to agree with that. After last evening and this morning during breakfast, you and Emma need time apart. No offense intended, of course.”
“I am not offended in the least. It is what she wishes, and I will grant her that. Her mother is important to her, as well as the children, and Emma is important to me.”
Thomas nodded and a smile formed on his lips. “It is not any of my business but what happened between you and Joseph—”
“Do not utter that name in my presence or in my home ever again.”
Thomas held his hands up in defeat and stepped back. “I understand, but he is still your business partner.”
“Not for much longer. I have requested Robert’s assistance, and he will take care of the legal matters. I wish to have nothing more to do with him or be associated with
him in any manner.”
“What did he do to wrong you?” Thomas asked.
“Did Robert not inform you?” Charles asked, and Thomas shook his head. “He made an advance toward Emma last evening at the poetry reading.”
“Yet again?” Thomas asked and immediately cringed, as though he was not supposed to utter those words out aloud.
Charles’ face turned stormy. “There have been other instances?”
“My sincerest apologies, brother. I was under the impression Emma had discussed it with you already. She wished to, as she no longer felt comfortable in his presence.”
Charles’ jaw clenched as he turned away abruptly, his heart filled with sorrow that her distress had gone unnoticed by him. His lovely wife had been enduring much more than his eccentricities and she remained silent only on his behalf, causing him even more guilt. He would find a way to do better, starting now.
Chapter Nine.
Emma drew in a deep breath as she stood at her window, staring at the gardens of Finlay Hall. Two maids were present in the chambers as well, packing Emma’s clothing and garments into a large chest in preparation for their trip to Taunton.
The news of her mother’s ill health had come as quite a shock to her, and although she had known her mother to be sickly the past few years, she was still heartbroken at the update her father sent to her in his letter.
As she stared at the rolling hills in the distance, she reminded herself of all the wonderful memories she’d had with her mother.
She recalled growing up in the country home where they still resided, her mother’s laughter filling her mind, causing a smile to form on her lips. A sombre smile, but a smile, nonetheless.
“Your Grace?”
Emma turned slowly and noticed the two maids standing by the door.
“The trunk is packed, and we will send for someone to carry it down to the coach. Is there anything else you wish for us to assist with?” the maid asked.
“Not at the moment. Thank you,” Emma said quietly.
They exited her bedchambers and she sighed wearily. Although she wished to depart as soon as possible to see her mother, she was not looking forward to the journey. Taking care of her mother would be difficult, and a part of her wished she was able to go on her own. She could not, however, deny the children the opportunity to see their grandmother, quite possibly for the last time.
Emma already felt exhausted but was comforted by the fact that their governess would also make the journey with them. Her father was very much involved with the children and they adored him, as he was still energetic and frolicked with them in the garden. Emma was truly thankful for the man, and an unexpected tear ran from her cheek.
“Emma?”
Emma glanced up and cocked her head at Robert, who stood in the doorway. She quickly brushed the tear from her cheek and forced a smile. “Robert.”
“Pardon my intrusion. I know that you are preparing for your departure to Taunton, so I will not take up much of your time,” Robert said.
“You are not keeping me, Robert. Do not fret.”
Robert studied her for a moment and shifted his weight in apparent discomfort.
“What do you wish to ask me?” Emma asked, clasping her hands together.
Robert chuckled and shook his head. “I did not realise I was that transparent.”
“After the events of the past two days, nothing surprises me anymore, Robert.”
“Of course,” he said.
“You may enter if you wish,” she said, and motioned towards him.
“I would rather not, with all due respect,” Robert said. “Do you not find Charles’ behaviour rather odd?”
“Charles has a history of odd behaviour.”
“You are aware of what I am referring to, Emma. Does it not strike you as strange that he hastily travelled for an entire day from London to Weymouth with no regard for the Parliamentary meetings he was to attend because he had heard a rumour about you and Joseph?”
“Are you insinuating that he was overcome with jealousy?” Emma asked.
“Indeed.”
Emma scoffed and her arms dropped to her sides. “Your brother can be exasperating at times, but he’s never been the jealous sort. He has never shown any form of envy when I converse with other men. I think this was merely because his cousin was involved, and he wished to settle things between them.”
Robert nodded and his brow furrowed. “Are you aware Charles asked me to draft documents to purchase Joseph’s share of the textile company? He does not wish any further connection with our cousin.”
Emma shrugged. “I was not aware he would do such a thing. I did not realise the urgency of the matter, and how it affected Charles.”
“He is deeply unsettled.”
Emma raised an eyebrow at her brother-in-law. “And I am not?”
“I did not say that, Emma. You both sounded incredibly hurt and angry last evening, and it was clearly written on both your faces through breakfast earlier. This affects both of you, and I wish not to see either of you in such a state,” Robert said. “Surely, you cannot simply leave and expect the issue to rectify itself.”
“Is that why you came here to speak to me? To persuade me not to leave?”
“Charles is in a state... you both are. Leaving him and taking his children is not making it better or easier.”
“Perhaps not for him, but it will be for me. I need to be there for my mother, and my father, as well. I cannot simply put my mother’s illness on hold while I attempt to fix something I did not even break.”
“I understand but—”
“My mother is dying, Robert, and I cannot deny myself or my children the chance to see her once last time. I am certain you are aware of the guilt you still feel for not being by your father’s side when he passed.”
Robert lowered his gaze and Emma immediately felt guilty for mentioning the late duke. “I am sorry, Robert. That was uncalled for.”
“You are correct, Emma. Your mother raised you to be a compassionate woman, and she would be very proud of you.”
“Thank you.”
Robert knocked his knuckles against the doorframe. “I will call upon a manservant to take your trunk to the coach.”
“I would sincerely appreciate that.”
Robert nodded and as he turned away, Emma called him back.
“Robert?”
“Yes?” he asked as he turned back to her.
Emma slowly approached Robert, who still stood in the doorway. “Would you do something for me, please? While I am away?”
Robert nodded and his jaw unclenched. “Of course. Anything.”
“Will you ensure that Charles does not go mad and lose his mind?”
Robert grinned and shrugged his shoulders. “I am afraid I might not be able to reverse something that has already happened.”
Emma smiled with a hint of amusement and nodded. “Indeed.”
“I will, Emma. You need not fret over him. I have spent my entire life being the rational and diplomatic one, talking sense into Charles when his mind runs away from him like a wild colt. I will ensure his sanity. You go and care for your mother.”
“Thank you, Robert. You are a kind soul.”
“As are you.”
AN UNIMAGINABLE SENSE of emptiness caused Charles to wince painfully as he sat in the quiet parlour. He regretted not apologising to Emma and felt terrible knowing that he would not see her and his children while they visited Taunton.
Of course, he understood Emma’s haste to leave the estate. Her mother’s condition was serious and if the physician’s prognosis was accurate, the woman did not have much time left.
He would never forbid her to leave, but he was still saddened by her impending absence.
He reached for the silver bell to his left to call for a maid as a sudden need to have all three of his children with him swamped him. He only needed to ring it a few times before a servant entered.
“Your Grace,” she sai
d quietly.
“Would you kindly send my children to me?” he asked.
“All three of them, Your Grace?”
“Please.”
“Of course, Your Grace.”
It did not take long for his two older daughters, who were already dressed in their day clothes and ready to travel, as well as the nanny carrying his youngest daughter to arrive.
“Sarah, Catherine. You are looking lovely,” he said, a lump in his throat seemingly growing out of thin air.
He stretched out his arms and his two daughters lovingly embraced him. He rose to his feet and approached the nanny. “May I hold her?” he asked.
“Of course, Your Grace,” the nanny said, but she did seem somewhat shocked at his request.
Charles awkwardly took the baby, Lilly, from her, but felt rather unpractised holding her. She had already grown significantly since the last time he had seen her, and it saddened him that she may grow even more by the time they returned home from Taunton.
“Father, perhaps you ought to try moving your hand slightly to the left,” Catherine suggested as she approached them.
His eldest daughter shifted his arm to the left, creating a comfortable cradle for Lilly to lay in.
“Thank you, my dearest Catherine.”
“Mother told us that we will leave shortly to visit Grandmother and Grandfather in the country.”
“Indeed. You seem enthused,” Charles said, another lump forming in his throat.
“Oh, we are,” both girls said in excited voices.
“We will have much fun, Father. You have not been to visit grandmother and grandfather’s country home in years,” Catherine said.
Charles looked at his daughters and sighed. “I am afraid that I will not be joining you this time, girls.”
His girls exchanged glances and Charles noticed their tearful expressions.
“But, Father, we were looking forward to spending time with you,” Catherine said.
“We miss you.”
Charles’ heart ached and he swallowed his sorrow for the sake of his daughters.
“Allow me to explain,” he said.
He took a seat on the sofa, still holding the baby and motioned to the two young girls to join him. They sat, one on each side of him, and they stared at him tentatively.
