by Miers, Fiona
“As much as I wish to travel with you and your mother, I have work to tend to. I left London in a hurry, with much unfinished. As soon as I sort through all of it, I promise to come.”
“How long will that take?” Sarah asked.
“I am not certain, my dear. Perhaps a few days,” Charles said.
“It never is only a few days.”
“It is true, Father. You work an awful lot, and you are busy constantly,” said Sarah.
“Could you not come with us and tend to your work there? The fresh country air and Grandfather’s delicious marmalade on freshly baked rolls would certainly be the best surroundings to work in.”
Charles struggled to keep his voice calm. Hearing his daughters’ enthusiasm to spend time with him hammered at his heart. “As tempting as that sounds, girls, I cannot. I must finish my work here and tend to a few other things as well. I am, of course, the master of the house.”
“Is that what the master of the house does?”
He nodded at them, shifting the baby in his arms. “Indeed. I must ensure our home remains standing, and that everything functions the way it must.”
“If I marry, will my husband be the master of the house?” Catherine asked.
“I imagine so, although there are still many years before that will happen,” Charles said with relief.
He did not wish to envision his daughter marrying one day. It felt like it was only yesterday when Catherine was born, a tiny infant girl sleeping on Emma’s chest. A small smile formed on his lips and he glanced down at Lilly.
“Father, do you promise to join us at Grandmother and Grandfather’s home?” Sarah asked.
“Of course, my dear.”
“Grandmother is ill, and she would certainly wish to see you as well.”
Charles pressed his hand to his daughter’s arm. “I know, my dear. But for now, you and your sisters and your mother must do your utmost best to spend as much time with your grandmother as possible. Family is very important.”
“You are our family as well, Father.”
Charles pursed his lips and lowered his gaze. “I promise, as soon as I am able, I will travel to Taunton and be with you and your mother.”
As he spoke the last portion of his sentence, Emma entered the room and her eyebrows flew up as though she were surprised by his words.
“Children, the coach is waiting outside. Are you ready?”
“Yes, Mother.”
“We were simply speaking with Father, trying to convince him to join us,” Catherine said.
“And as I mentioned before, dear Catherine, I have quite a large load of work to attend to.”
Catherine rolled her eyes and rose to her feet. “I love you, Father.”
“And I love you... all of you,” Charles said as he rose to his feet and turned towards Emma.
A strange expression was evident on her beautiful face, and Charles couldn’t quite place it. She stood quietly for a moment, staring at him, and it seemed to Charles she wished to speak.
There were many things Charles wished to say to Emma before her departure but he wasn’t certain whether he would be given the opportunity. With the children surrounding him, he did not wish to engage in an argument, or even awkward banter with Emma. He did, however, feel the need to say something to her.
“You are holding the baby,” Emma said. “Correctly, I might add.”
“Catherine was very clear with her instructions.”
“Indeed,” Emma said quietly and turned to the nanny. “Would you take the children to the coach, please, Laura? I will only be a moment.”
“Of course, Your Grace,” the nanny said and huddled the children together to do as the duchess requested.
Within moments, Charles and Emma were alone and the tension between them was a palpable thing.
Chapter Nine
The mere sight of Charles holding little Lilly with their two older daughters sitting beside him had made Emma’s heart squeeze with love. She nearly reconsidered her previous conclusions and invited him to join them on their trip. She had not seen him act so warmly and affectionately towards their children in some time.
It was not that he was not a good father. His daughters adored him, and he adored them. He was simply more absent than he ought to be. Charles immersed himself in his work, which left little time for him to spend with the people who should matter most.
Of course, Emma would never hold that against him and would never mention it, but she was fairly certain he was already aware of it.
“Do check on Catherine. She was rather upset when I informed her that I would not be joining your trip to the country,” Charles said, his voice hitching slightly.
“I will. Although I am certain that regardless of what I say, she will miss your presence immensely. We all will.”
Charles stared at her, his brow rising expectantly, as though he waited for her to say more.
For a moment, she considered inviting him to join for the children’s sake, but the memory of the previous night’s argument as well as his outlandish behaviour still left a bitter taste in her mouth.
Emma did not wish to be reminded of the conversation the entire coach journey to her parent’s country estate. Or be immersed in an uncomfortable atmosphere in an enclosed space with Charles. She was certain the children would feel their disquiet and it would ruin the entire trip. Their happiness meant too much to her.
“We must be going,” Emma said as she stepped away, and pursed her lips to stop herself from uttering anything else.
Charles’s expression saddened for a moment before his jaw clenched, and Emma recognised the look immediately. He was disappointed that she had not invited him and although he did not say it, she had known him for long enough to know what that expression meant.
“Shall I walk you out?” he asked.
“If you are not too busy for us,” she said, instantly regretting her sarcasm.
Instead of apologising, she simply turned away and proceeded out of the parlour and down to the foyer.
As she stepped outside, the bright light momentarily blinded her and she stumbled, missing the small step leading to the wide pathway.
A pair of strong arms steadied her, and she looked over her shoulder. Charles’ hands were firmly grasping her shoulders, keeping her steady. She drew in a deep breath. After her retort, she was not certain why he even bothered assisting her.
“Thank you, Charles,” she said.
“I will speak with the groundskeeper to ensure you do not fall there again. It is a dangerous step.” It seemed almost as if he was reluctant to let her go.
“Indeed. Or perhaps I took a wrong step,” Emma said.
She felt guilty, but the feeling soon passed once she reminded herself of Charles’ angry words the previous evening. They were not easily dismissed. Of all the hurtful things Charles had said to her in a fit of anger, accusing her of being unfaithful to him had certainly been the worst.
She still could not understand how Charles could possibly think that little of her. She had made a vow to him that she would be faithful to him for the entirety of her life. She had dedicated her life to serving him, to supporting him and their beautiful children.
Emma had scolded herself when she had begun developing strong emotional ties to Charles throughout their marriage, knowing that her feelings were not reciprocated.
He cared for her in his own way, but he certainly did not love her. Charles had married for duty, but it did not mean he should not respect her. Perhaps it had been wrong to accompany Joseph to the poetry reading, but she’d felt she had no other choice in the matter without offending Joseph and risking a family feud.
Her choice had resulted in Charles wanting to buy out Joseph’s portion of the textile business, which alienated the two cousins regardless. She was responsible not only for breaking their familial bond, but also abruptly ending their financial partnership.
Emma stepped away from Charles and made her way towards the coach
where the three children and the nanny already waited for her.
“We will miss you, Father,” Catherine said from the coach and waved at Charles.
“And I will miss you, my dears,” Charles said, waving at them. “All of you.”
Emma glanced at Charles but did not utter a word.
“Do you promise to join us when you have finished your work?” his oldest daughter asked.
“I promise,” Charles said with a nod, placing his hand over his heart.
“You should not make promises you cannot keep,” Emma said quietly and drew in a breath.
Before he could respond, she approached him, kissed him on the cheek and turned away. She bit her lip, suppressing the tears wanting to spill down her cheeks. She did not wish to become emotional in front of the children, nor in front of Charles.
“Emma?”
Emma whirled around and glanced at her husband.
“I will indeed miss you, regardless of what you believe,” he said, his hand still pressed against his heart.
She nodded and hastened to the coach, climbing inside. She settled into her seat and stared at Charles through the window.
“Do not be sad, Mother,” Catherine said, and Emma glanced at her. “Father will join us soon.”
A tear ran down Emma’s cheek and she quickly brushed it away. Rather unexpectedly, Catherine moved from her seat and sat beside her. The young girl placed her hand on Emma’s, their fingers intertwining. Emma was truly grateful for her kind-hearted and caring daughter, and she kissed the top of her head.
“I am not sad. I am merely worried about my mother,” Emma said in a whisper.
“Grandmother will be well,” Sarah said. “I said a prayer for her this morning after you told us about the trip. I am certain she will be much better when we arrive.”
Tears stung Emma’s eyes and her heart was filled with both sadness and pride. She knew her daughters were set to be wonderful young women, but they had certainly exceeded her expectations.
CHARLES’ JAW CLENCHED as he watched the coach disappear around the corner and completely out of sight. He had not expected that their departure would sadden him as much as it had.
The emotions swirling inside him were perplexing and strange, and he was perplexed at how to respond. There had been many times where he had departed Finlay Hall on his own and left behind his wife and daughters to do business and attend meetings in London. It was not an odd thing for him. In fact, it was quite the norm.
Perhaps it was the manner in which they parted that did not sit well with him? Although Emma would not believe it, he had noticed the tears in her eyes as she made her way to the coach. She had undoubtedly remained strong for the sake of their children, as it was the right and honourable thing to do.
Emma believed that their daughters should not carry the weight of her and Charles’ choices, and he firmly agreed with that. He wanted to create a world filled with possibilities for his children, and despite the rules of society, he would not force them to marry a man they did not wish to. It was a sad truth and a bitter reality for Charles, as he knew that Emma only tolerated him most days.
He barely tolerated himself.
Nevertheless, Emma had been by his side for many years and he could not imagine his life without her.
Charles stood on the front steps of Finlay Hall, feeling helpless at the circumstances, wishing things could be different, but also realising that he was the one at fault for their current predicament.
With a heavy heart, he entered through the front door and slowly made his way to his study, dragging his feet with every step he took. His mind was in such a whirl, he almost did not notice his brother approach him.
“Charles. There you are,” Thomas said as he reached his side.
“Where else would I be?”
Thomas’s eyebrows flew up in surprise. “Are you well? You seem rather...”
“I am perfectly well. I was about to lock myself in my study to—”
“Wallow in self-pity, indeed,” Thomas said. “Come join us on the terrace. It is a lovely day. The weather is fine and perhaps we could engage in a friendly game of croquet on the lawn.”
Charles scoffed and shook his head. He knew as well as anyone, their supposed friendly games of croquet were in fact not as friendly as initially claimed.
All four Melton brothers were very competitive, and it nearly always resulted in a duel to the death, so to speak. On more than one occasion, the brothers had to be forcibly removed from on top of one another.
James would be accused of cheating, Charles would show unsportsmanlike behaviour, and Thomas would forget to keep track of whose turn it was.
It certainly did keep the wives entertained, up until the point where they raised their voices at one another and vowed not to visit Dorset again.
Of course, in the end, they stuck their pride in their pockets and shook hands as gentlemen should.
“I do not think croquet will make me feel better. We are all aware of how it usually ends, Thomas,” Charles said.
“Robert will be paying attention, and you and James will not be on the same team.”
“As if that would keep him from—”
“Listen to yourself,” Thomas said and shook his head. “We have not even begun the game and already you are being unsportsmanlike.”
Charles pursed his lips, but Thomas burst out laughing, very amused with himself. Charles cocked his head and glowered at his younger brother. “Are you quite finished?”
Thomas cleared his throat and shook his head. “Do not be so serious, Charles. I was merely joking with you.”
“It was not very funny. Not in the least, actually,” Charles said. “I think I will pass. Thank you for the invitation, though.”
“No, I refuse to accept that,” Thomas said firmly.
Before Charles was able to respond again, Thomas grabbed him by the shoulders and practically dragged him towards the terrace. His brothers and their wives were seated there around the table, enjoying the fresh air.
Charles was a bit annoyed with Thomas, and even though he wanted to be alone with his thoughts after Emma and his daughters departed, he realised that perhaps it was not ideal. Being in his brothers and their wives’ company would allow him to keep his mind occupied and not overthink the situation with his wife.
He was not certain what to do to rectify it. Perhaps he would be able to gather his courage and join Emma at her parents’ country home.
Charles was greeted by his brothers and their wives, so he joined them at the table and quietly observed them. Being in their presence, seeing them happily converse, made him feel sick to his stomach. He wished that he had been less of a fool and spoken earnestly to Emma before she left.
It did not sit very well that he had accused her of being unfaithful to him after all these years together and seeing his brothers with their families made him feel even worse.
“Charles,” Thomas said suddenly, dragging him from his thoughts.
Charles glanced at Thomas and noticed he held a croquet mallet in his hand. “Would you care to go first, since you are the eldest?”
“Thomas, on second thought, I do not feel like playing,” Charles said.
“Nonsense,” Thomas said and held the mallet out to him. “Take it.”
Charles sighed, well aware that there was no way to dissuade Thomas. Although he was the youngest of the brothers, once his mind had been made up about something, there was no way to change it.
Charles rose to his feet, took the mallet from Thomas and nodded. “You are such a brute.”
Thomas chuckled with amusement and patted his brother on the back. “Name-calling already?”
“Cease with the remarks, Tommy. Remember, this is a gentlemen’s game,” James said as Charles and Thomas joined the others on the lawn, already in position.
James took a practice swing at a ball, driving it through several wickets with enormous force. “Remember that,” Thomas said as he pointed towards
James, and James simply laughed.
Charles approached the course and drew in a deep breath.
Chapter Eleven
As the sky turned orange and the carriage grew quiet, Emma glanced down at a sleeping Lilly in her arms. Catherine, Sarah, and their nanny, Laura, had fallen asleep cuddled against one another on the opposing seat. Emma had fed Lilly and held her until she slept. Her face was peaceful, with her tiny hand against her face and wrapped in a light blanket. Emma studied her small features, barely able to hold back the tears.
She had been feeling heartbroken ever since departing her home but kept herself composed. She needed to be strong for her daughters and focus on her mother. She could not afford to be distracted by the situation with Charles.
Emma had never doubted the fact that Charles cared for her and would always look after her, regardless of what happened. But he had never shown that he’d developed any feelings for her as she had for him.
Whenever she brought it up, he either changed the subject or simply removed himself from the conversation. It was not as though Emma had stopped trying to discuss things with Charles, she just realised it was futile and not worth the disappointment.
She truly wished things would have changed for the better, and she knew the Charles cared for her in his own distinct manner. It merely disappointed her that she would not feel a loving embrace or a meaningful kiss from him. A tear ran down her cheek as she held Lilly a little tighter, revealing in the warmth her small body provided.
Emma missed her home already, and she wished that she and the children were able to remain there, but Caroline required her care. Although she had not been forced by her father to visit, there was no question that she would. It was her mother, the woman who had cared for Emma her entire life. She owed her at least that.
It was not the first time Emma would be separated from Charles, and it would certainly not be the last. They’d spent much of their years married apart while he lived in London managing the textile business, as well as being at Parliament during session. Which, in all honesty, seemed to Emma as though it lasted much too long.
