Beautiful Brute: A Stepbrother College Romance (Court University Book 3)

by Eden O'Neill

  “The doctor said you need to rest, honey.” Mom drew some of my short hair away from my eyes. “Jaxen will be okay. He just needs to rest too. Like you.”

  She’d said this with a smile, but it faltered a little upon looking at my adoptive father. It made me feel like they knew something.

  Like they did but felt I was too fragile to tell.

  *

  More than three days passed with little word about Jaxen and more than enough about me. Dr. Fieldhouse and her team kept me completely informed about my current state and progress. I was even told when I’d start physical therapy, but every time I asked about Jax, all I got were canned responses. He was okay. He was resting. Both my parents had seen him often, but not once had they mentioned about him asking about me. They said every time they came in to check on him, he’d been sleeping.

  And I noticed he hadn’t come by.

  The internet said the recovery time for a transplant was about one to three days on the donor’s part. I’d made my parents give me my phone so I could check. I asked about that, his recovery time, and when he’d be able to go home, but all I got were assurances. Telling me not to worry about my Jaxen, to relax myself as stress couldn’t possibly help my condition. I didn’t care about myself or my state. I cared about Jaxen’s.

  I mean, he’d donated a kidney for me.

  I had a part of him inside me. I was physically closer to him in more ways than I’d ever been, but still felt so far away from him. I felt like if something was seriously wrong with him, someone would tell me, but every time I asked, I just got more assurances and was told to take care of myself. It didn’t seem like anyone was taking care of or worrying about him, and that pissed me off.

  So many people came through this room to check on me, people from Mom and Dad’s church, friends and family, and of course, Kit. She’d come after her classes one day, and after finding out who gave me my kidney, she’d been floored. She actually cried.

  I had too.

  I just couldn’t believe it. Jaxen had said so many things to me before the accident. But even with those confessions, even with him saying he loved me, this was different. This was him making a far bigger declaration.

  And then this ring.

  I kept it on my thumb, too big to wear anywhere else. I had no idea what this meant or why he gave it to me. I assumed maybe good luck to get me through this, but shouldn’t he have it?

  I just wanted to talk to him.

  I continued to worry, and my parents kept me more distracted than I liked. They also kept bringing people in to see me.

  The greatest shock of all had been my biological father.

  He’d looked so good, cleaned up and solid on his feet. He came all the way here to see me when I knew he lived several states over.

  “Ninety days sober,” he’d said to me, and so happy. I hadn’t seen him in years, and though he hadn’t been able to stay long, had to get back to his life and work, it’d been good to see him. He’d said he had even wanted to donate to me himself.

  It’d been truly crazy.

  So many people came through my room, and I appreciated them all, but they weren’t the person I found myself wondering the most about. I still had few updates from my parents about Jaxen’s state. Like they were keeping things from me on purpose, and I didn’t like that. It’d been almost four days now and still no word.

  “I want to see him,” I urged to my adoptive father one day. My mom had gone out for coffee, basically here around the clock. Dad had been a frequently flier, of course, too, but had to leave a time or two for a few hours to tend to some things surrounding his work. He’d also arranged for the university to allow me to do e-learning while I was in the hospital.

  Dad frowned at me. “You know you can’t move yet, sweetheart. Just be patient. I’m sure once Jaxen is up and moving again, he will come see you.”

  But why hadn’t I heard something already? Something good when the internet said he should be coming around? Obviously, a mere Google search wasn’t always reliable, but something just felt wrong here and as it did, a new form of dread surfaced.

  I wondered if he actually wanted to see me, or he changed his mind about, well, everything.

  “Dad, you don’t understand,” I whispered, my mouth dry again. “I need to see him. He doesn’t know.”

  My thumb played with the ring gracing my other hand. I hadn’t been able to tell Jaxen my feelings, and if his had changed, I at least wanted to thank him. I needed to.

  He’d saved my life.

  In so many ways, and Dad touched my shoulder.

  “What doesn’t he know?” he asked, and I said nothing. I mean, what could I say? That I loved his son? Would he understand? Mom hadn’t loved that when I told her, and though it hadn’t come up again, I had no idea her feelings surrounding it. I hadn’t even gotten to talk to my adoptive father about the situation.

  “I just need to ask him about this,” I stated, pulling the ring off. “Can you figure something out? Please. I need to see him.”

  I’d literally never asked for anything from him. I’d never needed to. Rick Fairchild had always been there and ahead of anything I’d ever asked or wanted. He’d always been my dad.

  He touched my cheek, the swelling down now. He told me to give him two seconds, then he left the room. I felt like I waited all day before he came back, but once he had, he appeared with a team.

  There were literally half a dozen nurses and hospital staff, and when Dr. Fieldhouse herself showed up, I was more than confused.

  “You’re being moved, Cleo,” she said, smiling. “I hope you don’t mind, but I put in a request for a better room for you.”

  “Better room?” I asked, looking around. Her team got my pain meds and stuff, then literally wheeled my whole bed forward.

  “Yes, and I think you’ll like the change. It has a view,” she said, winking at my adoptive father before leaving the room. I thought he’d follow me, but he stayed at the door.

  “I’m going to go find your mother and let her know about your room change,” he said, his eyes creasing hard in the corners. “We might get a little lost on the way up, so don’t expect us right away, all right?”

  He flashed me a wink after that, so much behind it. Of course, he’d done this, the room change.

  And that told me everything I needed to know about how he felt regarding who I was clearly about to see.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Cleo

  Jaxen was also in a room by himself, looking like the most beautiful sleeping prince and my heart stopped at just the sight of him.

  Lack of breath followed.

  He didn’t look like me, bruised and bandaged up. He appeared like himself, hauntingly lovely and breathtakingly gorgeous. His tawny brown curls lay wavy and messy, a more than five o’clock shadow on his face that made him look rugged, but not unkempt. He had been here for a little while, currently sleeping with a sheet over his waist and his hands positioned at his sides. His large chest rose and fell as Dr. Fieldhouse’s team wheeled my bed next to his.

  They left little space, pushing us right up against each other. I found that curious until Dr. Fieldhouse looked at me.

  “We’ll be back in a few to move you over to the other bed,” she said, pointing to the one on the other side of the room. She winked. “But I figured you may want a few moments. You two seem close.”

  I didn’t know what we were.

  But I wasn’t complaining since Jaxen was close enough to touch.

  Which he was, right next to me. Sleeping soundly, he hadn’t moved through all this, and I hadn’t been surprised. He’d been a solid sleeper when we’d been together.

  “Let us know if you need anything,” Dr. Fieldhouse said, watching as a nurse set my call button on my bed. I nodded, then they all went away.

  We were alone.

  I was alone with him, and God, if I couldn’t stop looking at him. It was like he was some kind of anomaly and hadn’t existed until that
moment. I’d felt that way since my parents had been so tight-lipped about him. Whenever I’d asked, they had kind of passed the question off. Jaxen was tired or resting.

  But they hadn’t said he was perfect.

  Not a flaw to him, not even a flush to his skin. The way Mom and Dad hadn’t said anything about him, I would have thought something was wrong, but he appeared completely normal.

  I reached out, my fingers curling to touch him, but something made me hesitate and return my hand to my bed.

  Instead, I fingered the ring I’d been told he wanted me to have.

  “Why did you give this to me?” I asked, slipping it off. I studied the teeth of the ape and forced my nail between the grooves. I touched this thing enough to know how every space of it felt. I gazed up at Jaxen. “Was it for good luck? Just to get me through this?”

  He said nothing, of course, his eyes still closed in slumber, and sighing, I breathed deeply. I placed the ring on his bed, by his thigh.

  “They told me what you did,” I said, my fingers so close to his leg. “What you did for me. Why did you do that?”

  Mom said they could have waited for a donor. My need was urgent, yes, but Jaxen hadn’t even allowed consideration of the process after he’d been tested. He’d just donated, no more talk or debate once he’d been cleared.

  “You could have died,” I said, knowing that people did donate every day, but also died every day too. If something had gone wrong, if I had lost him… I swallowed. “You would have been gone, and I wouldn’t have been able to…”

  Fingers laced with mine, fingers on his bed when he lifted and inserted our digits together.

  I gazed up to find crystal green eyes staring at me, so sleepy.

  I must have woken him up.

  Jaxen uttered no words, just staring at me, and I wondered for how long.

  “How long have you been looking at me?” I asked, feeling shy now. I mean, I didn’t look great. The swelling on my face had gone down a little, but I still appeared bruised.

  I started to turn away until Jaxen lifted our fingers. He ran a digit down my cheek, and I swear I healed in that moment.

  That was all it took.

  My insides and every physical ache ceased to throb, a different sensation, a warmer one stirring my insides now. It was hard to see past it.

  It was hard to see beyond him.

  “Long enough,” he said, a smile to his lips. His lids hung heavy, and he seemed to be on just as many pain meds as myself. His chest rose high with a breath. “So you got them to bring you here?”

  I noticed he didn’t let go of my hand; if anything, he forced them tighter together.

  Distracted by them, I shifted to the side as much as I could without hurting myself to the point of crippling pain. A little discomfort felt worth it in these moments, though. I smiled. “Dad worked it out. I wanted to see you. Thank you for everything.”

  They also hadn’t told me anything about him, and I couldn’t help worrying. He had donated an organ for me. So yeah, I worried.

  His smile faltered a little after what I said and faded away completely as his gaze fell to the sheet. He noticed the ring I’d taken off, his ring I’d placed by his hip. His lashes flashed up. “You don’t want it?”

  He actually… wanted me to have it? I opened my lips. “I thought…”

  He picked it up, and as if instinctual, slid it right back to the place it’d been on my thumb. It was like he knew that’s where I’d been wearing it, suddenly my most precious possession.

  “I gave this to you,” he said, studying the ring on my digit. “It’s yours. I wanted you to have it.”

  He started to retreat, but I held him to me, gripped his big hand. “Thank you.”

  A nod before he let go, let me go, and I didn’t know why. Had I said something?

  “I was worried when you didn’t come by,” I admitted. “I see now why. You’re still in bed. Are you still sick? Mom and Rick wouldn’t tell me anything.”

  He wouldn’t look at me, as if he was lost and wanted that sun through his window to take him away. After a beat, his attention shifted my way. “Over the worst. Just had a bad reaction to the anesthesia. I get to leave tomorrow, though. My moms are in town. They’re going to make sure I get back to campus okay.”

  That made me happy they were here, that he was staying. Hopefully, despite all this we’d both still be able to finish the semester strong and graduate on time.

  I nodded. “That’s good. I’m glad.”

  “Yeah. And don’t be mad at Dad and your mom. I told them not to tell you anything. Didn’t want you to worry about me.”

  Well, it hadn’t worked.

  And I noticed he called him… Dad.

  I recalled his final texts that he’d sent me, the ones about my adoptive father and what had happened. Jaxen said Dad had lied to him, but they’d also worked whatever the issue was out. It seemed they really had.

  There was no malice there when he spoke about him and I’d be more happy about that if I could get him to actually look at me. Jaxen was avoiding my eyes, like he couldn’t keep my gaze and I didn’t understand.

  “Are you regretting what you did or…” I chewed my lip, shaking my head. “I mean, I’m glad you’re okay. Going home? And thank you. You saved my life.”

  A million times over and I wouldn’t be able to thank him enough. I was alive because of him.

  But my words certainly didn’t help the situation. If anything, it caused tension to stir. Jaxen did nothing but frown in response, his jaw tight. He worked his hair and he returned to his back.

  “You’re in here because of me, Girl Scout,” he admitted, eyes suddenly sad. He faced me. “Had I not been sending you all those texts, you wouldn’t even have been in this situation. They told me you’d been texting. Texting me?” He shook his head. “I never should have…”

  I took his hand.

  And this time I didn’t let go.

  A breath escaped his chest, appearing how I felt the moment I was wheeled into this room and initially saw him. Like his mere presence gave me life. Like just an ounce of his existence brought me peace.

  “Me texting was my fault,” I said, completely true. He hadn’t done anything wrong.

  He’d only done something right.

  He’d told me how he felt, and that meant more to me than anything else. He’d done that believing I was still mad at him and hadn’t expected anything in response. He’d just wanted me to know the truth.

  I smiled. “And did they tell you what I’d said? What I’d been texting you back?”

  The message hadn’t gone through. I saw that when I’d gotten back my phone.

  His mouth parted, his head shaking.

  “What did you mean when you came in?” he asked, his swallow hard. “You said, you wouldn’t have been able to tell me something.”

  Without words, I brought his fingers up to my mouth. I closed my eyes, just breathing him in, and when I opened them, I had tears in my eyes. I loved him so much, akin to actually breathing. I physically needed him.

  And he’d almost taken that away.

  “I want you like I’ve never wanted anything,” I said, physically unable to see him through my tears. I sniffed them back. “And if you’d died, I wouldn’t have been able to say that. If something had happened during that surgery, I wouldn’t have been able to.”

  I was almost angry with him for that, that he might leave this earth without knowing the truth.

  My throat constricted. “I love you, Jaxen.”

  My tears blinked down as he used our fingers to touch my face. I shied away again, hating how I looked. I had to look awful.

  “My face,” I started, but he wouldn’t let me go there. He pinched my chin.

  “This means you’re here,” he said, his finger lifting and outlining my bruise. I knew because I’d seen it, well aware that’s what he traced. “It means you’re alive and that I can tell you I love you too. Of course, I donated my kidney to you
, Girl Scout. I’d give you my heart if I could. Hell, you already have it.”

  I rasped in his palm, letting him cradle my cheek. Both of our scars meant we were here.

  “They cut my hair,” I laughed, gazing up at him and I noticed he smiled too. He did through his own emotion coating his eyes, his nostrils flaring.

  His thumb ghosted my lips. “And I’ve never seen you more beautiful. The shit I’m going to do to your ass when I’m out of this bed.”

  I laughed again, my whole body telling me what a bad idea that was, and when he cringed too in his laughter, I knew he had the same problem. The two of us where a mess.

  A beautiful goddamn mess.

  “That a promise?” I asked him.

  He grinned. “It’s a hell fucking yeah.”

  His fingers slid into my cut hair, and where I would have normally told him not to, that he’d hurt himself even more, I didn’t fight him when he leaned over and covered my mouth. I needed that kiss like I needed my next breath.

  And something told me he felt the same.

  A moan against my mouth, his tongue dragging across mine. He started to deepen it before the ache left his lips and his body seized up.

  “Fuck,” he breathed, twisting my hair. “I want you so bad.”

  And he’d have me, but this would have to be enough for now. I gripped his gown. “Just lay with me. Sleep?”

  I didn’t know how much longer we’d have together before they’d separate us, and I wanted to just lie with him for awhile.

  Jaxen fingered my hair away before taking my hand with a smile. He kissed it before bringing it to his chest. “I’ll watch you. I’d love that.”

  Nodding, I let him lace our hands together, closing my heavy eyes. I felt myself fall into a world of just him and me, our hands together as I drifted off to sleep. This guy would forever be a part of me, a connection that could never be broken for the rest of my life. He literally let me have a piece of him, and no one could take that away. It was ours.

  It would be forever.

  Epilogue