Stockings and Sugarplums (Hearts of Snow Lake)

by Ashton Cade

  “Ella and Bryan should kiss!” pipes up a tiny voice from the crowd.

  “What?” Liam asks, flabbergasted while a mixture of ooh’s and ew’s ripples out from the kids.

  “Because they’re married, and they have a baby,” the little girl says again. A different angel, but I can’t tell them apart. There’s a whole gang of little girls that volunteered to be angels, and I think Liam just gave them what they wanted whether the script called for it or not.

  “I don’t want to kiss her!” Bryan shouts, shoving Ella away. Ella staggers back, nearly falling, but Liam manages to catch her. Even still, her bottom lip quivers, eyes shining with fresh tears.

  “No one’s kissing anyone,” Liam says sternly. “But that’s no way to treat someone, Bryan. We don’t push. You need to apologize to Ella.”

  Bryan’s ears turn bright red, his face crumpling. “This play is stupid. I don’t even want to do it!” he cries, storming off.

  Liam frowns, then looks over to me. “Do you mind keeping an eye on things here? I can’t let him run off.”

  My eyes widen. He’s going to leave me in charge of two dozen children?

  “Uh… Yeah, of course. Do whatever you need to,” I say, instead of what I’m thinking, which is Are you crazy? I don’t know what to do with kids!

  “You’re a lifesaver,” he says, patting me on the shoulder as he jogs past, leaving the same way Bryan did. My shoulder tingles, and I stare after him longer than I should, until one of the kids pipes up.

  “What do we do now?”

  “You guys good here?” I ask my painters. They give me a thumbs-up after looking at each other, so I hurry over to the main group, picking up a spare script.

  “Um, does anyone need help with any words?” I ask, greeted by blank stares. “Okay, how about we just start from the beginning? Narrator?”

  There are a couple of groans and sighs, but I get the feeling they’re just giving me a hard time for the sake of it. No one actually argues, and the narrator starts with his lines. I’m only half paying attention, the other half stuck on the door, waiting for Liam to come back. As cute as these kids are, it’s very unsettling to be left alone with so many of them.

  We’re nearly to the Three Kings when the door to the back of the church opens, and Liam comes in, led by Bryan trudging in front at knee-level.

  Bryce walks right up to Ella and stares at her feet. “I’m sorry I pushed you and was mean to you. It’s not your fault kissing is gross.”

  “I don’t want to kiss you either,” Ella says, hands on her hips.

  “Again, no one’s kissing anyone,” Liam says, and I can tell the patience is wearing thin in his voice. “Pack up your stuff guys. Your parents will be here soon,” he says, the whole crowd scattering to backpacks and coats. “Memorize your lines, the next time we meet we’ll be running through it all in costume, okay?”

  No one answers him, but he seems satisfied with it nonetheless.

  “You guys can go too,” I say to my painters, who seem to be waiting for my dismissal. Who’d have ever guessed I’d be a leader?

  I’m gathering up the brushes when Liam sidles over, his hands in his pockets. “Do you have plans for dinner?” he asks.

  I frown. “Don’t you have Bible Study?”

  He tilts his head, confused, then laughs. “Oh, no. It’s here, but I don’t lead it. I just like to consolidate the times when we’ve got all the heat running to as few days as possible.”

  “Makes sense,” I say, taking the brushes to the bathroom to rinse them out. Liam doesn’t follow me, needing to supervise all those kids, but he’s quick to approach with that puppy dog look the moment I’m back. He corners me far enough away from the kids that we’re not overheard, but close enough to make sure they’re all going home with the proper guardians.

  “So, have dinner with me?”

  I snort, shaking my head. “You say it like that and it sounds like a date.”

  “It could be,” he says, sobering my laugh right away.

  “What?” I made a joke about it without thinking, because his wording caught me off-guard, but this…

  Liam shrugs. “Why not?”

  My heart races, dozens of answers flitting through my head at Mach speed, but I don’t say any of them out loud. Out loud, I just say, “Okay.”

  Liam beams before dragging himself away to talk to some parents. My stomach’s in knots, not really believing that just happened.

  But it did, right?

  He asked me out on a date?

  That’s a lot to take in at once, but it’s all good. Great even. Like the fact that he’s into guys. More specifically, into me.

  Once that realization hits, I start willing the parents to take their kids home faster. I start praying for an end to the inane small talk, and it seems my prayers are answered when Eugenie Whitlock starts loudly saying they’re running late for starting Bible Study.

  Liam and I are shooed out with the rest of them, and he’s grinning in the cold. “Another reason I scheduled things the way I did—can’t linger too long when someone else needs the space.”

  “You devious genius,” I laugh, nudging him with my shoulder. He laughs too, both of us with our hands buried in coat pockets, breath steaming up around us.

  “Learned that one at my last assignment. The pastor there has been doing this for fifty years. All kinds of little tips and tricks,” he says, winking.

  We don’t even discuss where we’re going for dinner, but we both seem to be heading for Palomino’s without much thought. There’s been enough pizza this week. It’s warm inside, a healthy crowd gathered at the bar and taking up a few of the tables. It’s not overcrowded, but there are enough people here that we might spark the rumor mill.

  I hope he’s okay with that. I don’t know how to bring up the question, if this sort of date is going to cause problems for him and his job. I don’t think Liam would risk it if it would. He doesn’t seem the risky type. I like that about him. Even though he’s younger, he seems dependable and solid.

  “I’m gonna get a cider. Want anything?” I ask before taking a seat at the booth we’ve selected.

  “That sounds good. I’ll have one too, thanks.”

  “You sure?”

  He smiles. “Yeah, why not?”

  I make a face. It seems obvious. “Uh… because the alcohol?”

  Liam snorts, settling into the booth. “I’m a pastor, Phineas, not a Puritan.”

  I shrug. “I don’t really know the difference,” I admit.

  “Well, get those ciders and maybe I can help educate you,” he says, a definite hint of flirtation in his voice.

  I catch myself midstep before I fall into a freaking skip. It’s insane how easy everything feels with him. Like I’m walking on air. I can’t take my eyes off him while I’m waiting for the drinks, and I’m not interested in any small talk that keeps me from getting back to him.

  “So, tell me, what did you say to Bryan to get that turnaround?” I ask, passing Liam one of the ciders.

  He shrugs. “I just had a talk with him about how he made Ella feel, and how important this play is to the whole church. The usual,” he says, adding a dismissive wave.

  He acts like it’s no big deal, but there’s no way I’d know how to handle even half of the situations he’s found himself in with these kids.

  “I know I probably sound like a broken record, but I really appreciate you helping with the painting. Those boys adore you.”

  I snort, cider nearly coming out my nose. “You’re joking.”

  “I’m not,” he says, seriousness etched in his eyes. “They think you’re the coolest person ever.”

  That just makes me laugh harder. “Why in the world would they think that?”

  Liam grins. “Because that’s what I told them,” he says, falling into laughter with me.

  “You’re sweet, but they’re going to learn to never trust you again once they figure out I’m not cool at all.”

  L
iam scoffs. “Nonsense. You are cool, so my reputation will stay unblemished.”

  “If you say so…”

  “Hey, you’re learning,” he teases, still smiling as the server comes over to take our order. Liam’s more adventurous than I am, ordering the Shepard’s Pie. I’m sticking with a burger. It’s hard to screw that up and I’ve never been mad at one I’ve gotten here. Two points in their favor.

  “Are you excited for the play?” I ask him once we’re alone again. Small talk’s never been my thing, but it seems like a safe subject.

  Liam laughs. “Excited for it to be over, maybe.”

  I arch a brow. “I thought you’d be exploding with Christmas spirit or whatever…”

  He snorts again, shaking his head. “Who says I’m not? This is just my first year heading a whole congregation, and even though it’s small, that means there isn’t a lot of help forthcoming. I’m really feeling the pressure to pull it all off on my own.”

  “Christmas will be fine even if you don’t,” I assure him. It doesn’t feel like the right thing to say, but I don’t know what to say. I’m surprised by Liam’s revelation. I never even considered how overwhelming the whole holiday must be for someone in his position, still trying to settle into a new community.

  “Yeah, I know. I just want to make a good first impression, you know?”

  I nod, sipping my cider. “Yeah, but if you keep the bar low, you’ll have less to live up to next year,” I joke.

  “That’s terrible,” he says, shaking his head, shoulders shaking with laughter. “Why do I get the feeling you might be a bad influence?”

  I make a face, pausing a beat before I remind myself he probably doesn’t mean anything by it. Just normal flirty banter.

  “You’re a pastor. Anyone short of the Pope is probably a bad influence,” I tease back.

  “Touché,” he laughs.

  That just brings me back around to the same topic that’s been bugging me ever since the revelation that he’d be willing to consider this a date.

  “This isn’t going to… cause problems or anything, is it?” I ask, making a noncommittal hand gesture between us.

  Liam’s head cocks to the side, brows high in question before he catches on.

  “Oh, the date? No, our church is very progressive about premarital relations.”

  “That’s good,” I mutter. It takes me a second. “That’s not what—”

  He grins. “They’re cool with same-sex relationships too,” he says, soothing any latent worries just in time for our food to arrive.

  So I guess that’s that.

  Pastor Liam is gay.

  And we’re on a date.

  There are too many butterflies in my stomach for me to really have an appetite, but I force myself to eat anyway.

  “I’m sorry if I’m being weird about this,” I say, halfway through my burger. Neither one of us has said anything since the food got here and it’s starting to feel awkward.

  Liam sighs, then shrugs, resignation sagging his shoulders. “It’s fine. I’m used to it. Most guys are turned off by the pastor thing—”

  “That’s not… I’m not turned off by it,” I admit, breath catching when he suddenly lifts his eyes to look into mine. He doesn’t say anything, but I can feel him holding his breath, waiting for me to explain.

  “I just… I don’t know what’s okay, I guess? I don’t want to be pushy, and I don’t want to be the devil on your shoulder coercing you to sin—”

  “I’m not a Looney Tune,” he snorts.

  “I know that,” I protest.

  Liam smiles gently, a patient smile, not a judgmental one.

  “I’m a big boy, Phineas. I think it’s safe to say any choices I make are my own. But for reference, you’re not pushy in the least. I’m here with you because I want to be. I asked you, remember?”

  “How could I forget?” I answer, grinning back. It’s remarkable how easily he erased my concerns.

  “Because it was such a monumental occasion in your life?” he teases.

  “Because it was an hour ago,” I deadpan, getting a deep belly laugh out of him. It’s wonderful. The sound of it is divine.

  “Ah, of course, what was I thinking?”

  “But also because I’ve been thinking about this pretty much since I met you,” I admit, laying it out there more than I probably should. Is it coming on too strong? Does it make me seem desperate?

  Though the questions occur to me, I can’t find it in me to care. I want Liam to know that I like him. I want him to know I like him a lot.

  “Just wasn’t sure if it would be a problem?” he asks, clearly still teasing me.

  “You joke, but…”

  “No, I know. I appreciate the caution,” he says, more serious now.

  Somehow, we’ve finished our food. I’m too full for dessert, but I’m enjoying him too much to be done with this. Especially now that it’s officially a date and not just some casual meal between dudes.

  “How do you feel about ice skating?” I ask suddenly.

  Liam arches a brow. “Like… as an Olympic event, or…?”

  “Like as a date activity.”

  “There’s ice skating here?”

  “There’s a pond at the park. It’s been frozen enough for a couple of weeks now. It’s kind of dark, but there are streetlamps and a nearly full moon…”

  “Look who’s a romantic,” he teases. “Sounds nice,” he adds before I can walk back my suggestion.

  “Yeah?”

  He nods. “Let me take care of the check.”

  I’m practically swooning watching him walk away. I should not be this smitten after a couple of meals with the guy, but it’s not just that. We worked together for the Thanksgiving food drive. We were on the assembly line together, and while my brother was busy avoiding his ex, Liam distracted me from being too annoyed by them. He kept me in good spirits without even knowing what he was doing.

  And I don’t have any trouble opening up around him. With most people, it’s pretty much impossible, but with Liam? I don’t even have to think about it. Everything just comes tumbling out.

  It’s not until we’re outside that I look down at his feet.

  “What size shoe do you wear?”

  He snorts. “You know that’s just a rumor, right?”

  “What? Oh God, no. I’m just… For skates. I think I have an extra pair that might fit you.”

  “I’ve got a set at home,” he says.

  “Yeah, but that’s at home. My car is right across the street.”

  “You keep two pairs of ice skates in your car?” he asks skeptically.

  “I have a twin that can’t keep track of anything,” I answer, folding my arms across my chest.

  “You’re full of surprises, Phineas,” he laughs, bumping his shoulder into mine.

  His feet are slightly bigger than mine, but he swears the skates aren’t too tight. Says Paul must’ve broken them in well.

  “You sure? We can pick another day.”

  “When we won’t have the nearly full moon? Uh-uh. You’re not getting out of the romance now, mister,” he teases, edging out onto the ice.

  I hold my breath, watching him start to glide, then I take a step forward and push off to join him. The moon is bright, reflecting off the ice, making the streetlamps around the park paths seem dim in comparison. Liam’s a better skater than me, turning easily, even gliding backward at one point. I’ve never really graduated past slow laps around the perimeter.

  “Come on, slowpoke,” he says, passing me, extending his hand.

  “You weren’t supposed to be so much better than me at this,” I protest, letting him pull me along.

  He grins. “Were you hoping to impress me with your skills?”

  I shrug. “I was kind of hoping we’d both be clumsy and have to cling to each other to stay upright.”

  As soon as the words are out, I feel like I’ve said too much. Liam stops, and his hand in mine means I come to a stop too.


  “Sorry to disappoint,” he says, taking off a little slower, still holding my hand. Even though I’m the only one who’s wobbly, we stay close. I squeeze his fingers when I start to slip, and he helps me stabilize myself. It’s silly but it’s magical, the two of us all alone at the park under the moonlight. I haven’t had many dates in my life, but this is what I’ve always wanted out of them.

  There’s a pull between me and Liam, a force that brings us a little closer each time he helps me recover, until we’re standing an inch apart and I’m sure this is it. We’re going to kiss.

  My heart’s racing, a lump in my throat, but everything up to this point has been so much better than anticipated that I decide to just go for it.

  Instead of finding Liam’s soft, pliant lips, there’s nothing but cold air as he pulls away, skating back, his face contorting into a grimace.

  “Crap… I’m sorry, Phineas. This is new for me,” he says, skating back, closing the distance again. I take his hand, then wind my arm through his.

  “Me too. How about I escort you home?” I offer, knowing ice skating has run its course thanks to me making it awkward, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to call it quits just yet.

  “I’d like that,” he says, giving my gloved hand a final squeeze before we head to the bank of the pond.

  Chapter 4

  Liam

  My stomach’s fluttering the whole way back to the church. Phineas walks with the skates slung over his shoulder, blades glinting in the streetlights.

  I didn’t mean to back away from him when he tried to kiss me. I wanted to kiss him. I don’t know what happened. My body just panicked before my mind could send the override signals.

  But maybe I have a second chance now. We’re walking back to the church together, close enough that our arms keep brushing, sending a little jolt through me every time we make contact.