Tank

by Erin Bevan

  “What made you decide to start up the Blue Guardians?”

  “For my classes, we’d visit different abuse shelters. I’d see kids, women, even some men suffer from abuse, and I knew that’s where I needed to devote my time. So, that’s what I did. I put my love for riding and my love for helping others out of bad situations together and drove across country starting up the Blue Guardians.”

  “Why the name?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean why Blue Guardians? Why not White Guardians?”

  “None of us are pure, son.”

  Tank smirked, thinking about Father gripping Sandi’s ass at the diner. He hadn’t known the man long, but pure didn’t come to mind as a descriptor. Hairy, old, horny maybe, but not pure.

  “But calling our group the Black Guardians seemed a little evil, despite our leather color. Blue symbolizes calm. We’re the calm in the storm people face, and we protect them.”

  “Like a guardian angel.”

  “Right.”

  Tank nodded. “Makes sense. I like it, but none of this explains why you named your bike Harley.”

  “Remember, I said I fell in love twice.”

  “Yeah.”

  “About six years after Gracie, I met this beauty. Ever heard of love at first sight?”

  “Of course.”

  “Believe in it?”

  He remembered watching Annie across the lake. Her toes in the water, her bare legs in her jean shorts, holding her dad’s hand as she walked across the rocks. “Yeah, I think so.”

  “Good, because I’m here to tell you it exists. I met this woman. Blonde, lean…” He let out a low whistle. “Man, she was the most amazing thing I had ever seen. She worked at a restaurant I had stumbled into one night of my travels. She flirted. I flirted. When I went to ask for her name and number she wouldn’t tell me. It was a small town, and I was only passing through. She said there was no need to get too serious. Told me to call her Harley, so I did. I told her to call me Jack.”

  “But that’s your real name.”

  “Yeah, but she didn’t know that.” He took another swig of his beer. “I met up with her after work. We had a great time. After, we went our separate ways, but I couldn’t get over her, ya know? She just hit me in all the right places.”

  Yes, he did know. “What happened? You ever see her again?”

  “I tried to shake her off. I figured love at first sight was just a myth, but after a few months, and no matter what I did, I couldn’t get her off my mind. That’s when I knew. I knew there was something there, so I went back to that small town. I went to that diner looking for her.” Father frowned down at his beer.

  “And then what?”

  “I saw her through the window. She had a swollen belly, a ring on her finger, and she doted over some man. Obviously, her husband. I was too late. Just her good time before she decided to settle down and get serious. I turned around and left.”

  “You never heard from her again?”

  “Nope. Never. I figured I had fallen in love twice. That’s two times more than most. Makes me a lucky man, Tank.”

  “And you don’t think you and Sandi…”

  “Like I said, I enjoy her company. She’s a good woman with a good heart.”

  “But she doesn’t have yours?”

  “Yeah, something like that. Besides, love...” He shook his head and shrugged. “That ship’s sailed for me.”

  “Man, I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. Everything happens for a reason, right?”

  “I don’t know if I believe that.” Tank gripped his mug handle tighter. “I mean, why did my dad do the shit he did, huh?”

  What reason was there for a boy to be abused?

  “I don’t know, Tank. I wish I did, but you can’t dwell on the past. Focus on your future. Let your past go. Move on, and talk to Annie. Let her decide what she wants.”

  “You sound like my mom.”

  “Well, then she’s a damn smart lady.”

  “Jack, get over here,” Sandi yelled over the noise of the bar. “Come sit with me and let’s get something to eat.”

  Father saluted him with his beer. “Duty calls, man. Let’s eat and get to camp.”

  “Sure. Be right there.”

  He watched as Father strolled over and took the woman by the waist, pulling her in for a kiss, admiring how easy they moved together—a trust and respect in their motions, even if it wasn’t love.

  The board behind Sandi had three tally marks for the Ladies and still none for the Idiots. Beauty tossed him a smile that caused his knees to go weak. He’d never seen her smile so much since they’d been living together, and he’d do whatever he could within his power to keep her smiling.

  Annie leaned over the table and made a corner pocket, winning the game. She and JoJo raised their hands to a high-five, gloating in their victory. Steele stared at the table, steam daring to radiate from his ears. The Idiots had obviously been hustled.

  Tank took another swig of his beer and stood. He’d better go save the firefighter before the man ignited in his own flames. And he really had to be closer to Annie. A whole room’s length apart was too much distance. Whoever said that bullshit line about distance making the heart grow fonder had never been up next to a woman like her.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Tank pulled onto the campsite behind Father.

  “We’ve reserved ten sites. Basically, all of them from twelve to twenty-one. It’s first come first serve, so stake your claim.”

  “Can we get one near the bathroom? Please?” Annie asked over his shoulder.

  “Sure.” He glanced around the lake. “Where is it?”

  “I don’t know.” She shifted her weight behind him. “Maybe around there?” Beauty pointed to the right.

  Tank accelerated his bike the direction she pointed, around a small bend in the road. Sure enough, the bathroom sat on a hill. “I think campsite twenty-one is the closest. You want there?”

  “Yeah, and look.” Pointing to the view she said, “this is a beautiful spot.”

  The sun glared on the water, casting an iridescent glow on the ripples. The site sat nestled closer to the lake than any other, and the bend of trees provided the slightest amount of privacy from everyone else.

  “Yeah, you’re right. It is.” He shut off the bike and kicked the kickstand down.

  “However, I think your property is just as peaceful.” Sliding her bum off the saddle, she stood with her hands laced around her middle, staring at the water.

  Standing still, gazing into the lake, Annie’s hair tumbled down her back, her curves nice and snug in her pants. Not too thin. Every area he wanted, just plump enough in the right places.

  She spun, and he darted his gaze to the horizon, praying she hadn’t caught him staring.

  “I want to thank you.” Annie stepped closer.

  “For what?” He unsaddled his bike and stood beside it.

  “For bringing me. For rescuing me. For everything really. Without you, I’d be stuck in the diner, wearing long sleeves, and more makeup than any woman should have to. I haven’t felt like myself in years. Everything that’s happened with my family, and then Duke, I’d lost myself along the way. I feel like I’m getting me back again.” She reached up to hug him and snaked her arms around his neck. “And that’s because of you. So, thank you.”

  Her scent invaded his senses, causing his groin to harden just like in the truck that morning. Tank placed his hands around her waist and held her close, his lips dangerously close to her neck. Before he could make his move, the rumble of a motorcycle interrupted their moment. Annie pulled back, and he turned. He’d have to have a talk with Father about his shitty timing.

  “Sorry to bother you, but here’s your tent.” The old man tossed the shelter on the campsite.

  “Thanks, but I brought two. No worries though, I’ll go get the other one.”

  “Yeah, about that. Steele wanted me to tell you his was dry r
otted, and he needed to borrow one. He took the smaller one. Left you guys with the bigger one.”

  Tank glanced to Annie. She bit her lip almost like she tried to hide a smile, and her eyes glistened.

  “Well, that’s his dumbass fault. I’m sure there’s a store close by where he can go buy one.”

  “Tyler.” Beauty stared up at him. “It’s just a couple of nights. I’m okay with the arrangement if you are. Are you?”

  Was he? Hell no, he was not okay with the arrangement. Little Tank threatened to pop out of his pants at the idea. Sleeping with her in the same bed, with Alfred shoving his hairy ass between them was bad enough. He wasn’t sure how much of the closer accommodations he could handle for the next forty-eight hours. And what if he awoke her with his nightmares. What then?

  She stared at him with those green gems.

  He’d had a nightmare the other night on the couch and hadn’t woken her. Maybe he would be okay.

  “Are you sure?” He had to be positive before he agreed to their new sleeping arrangements. He’d have to tell her about his dark dreams.

  Or, perhaps he had to stop freaking out.

  They’d already slept together twice now and everything had been fine. Sleep being the key word. But sleeping with her in such a confined space, he doubted he’d be doing any actual sleeping the entire weekend if he didn’t get his emotions under control.

  “I’m sure.” She nodded, and gave him a little slip of a smile.

  Damn.

  “Sure. Fine. Whatever,” he muttered and gave Father a cross stare.

  “Great. Oh, and the dummy forgot his sleeping bag, too. Again, he said he’d take the smaller one.” The leader revved his engine and road off before Tank could respond.

  Beauty threw her head back and laughed. “I think we’ve been set-up.”

  “I’ll say.”

  Damn firefighter. I’ll be having a talk with him.

  Tank stomped toward his tent just as Alfred ran around the bend, his tail wagging as he jumped on Annie.

  “Down, Al. You know better.” His voice came out a little too harsh.

  “He’s okay.” She frowned. “Tyler, what’s wrong? Are you mad about the sleeping arrangements, because if so, we can go get more supplies, or I could ask JoJo to tent with her?”

  “No,” he snapped. Taking in a deep breath, he worked on calming his tone. She has no idea what’s going on inside your head. “I’m fine. It’s fine.”

  Would it be fine? What if he swung his arm dreaming he was fighting his dad and hit her instead?

  He wasn’t mad. He was terrified. But he sure as hell didn’t want her going to sleep in a tent with JoJo. Besides, he’d made Annie a promise. He would protect her, even if it meant against himself. He could fight his desires, and his dreams.

  “Okay. Here.” Annie stepped closer to him, Alfred following. “Let me help you with that.”

  “No. I’ve got it.” He pulled back the tent from her reach. “Why don’t you walk on back to the SUV and get the grill I packed. It’s light.”

  She placed a hand on his arm. “Tyler. What’s wrong?”

  He pulled his arm back. “I said nothing, all right?” Tank bit back his frustration when he saw the look of dejection in her eyes. “Listen, Annie.” He dropped the tent and turned fully to her. “I’m sorry. I am. I’ve just got a lot on my mind, okay?”

  “Does it have something to do with what you and Father talked about at the bar?”

  He sighed. That, and the feeling Little Tank might explode with need for her. He watched her standing there looking at him with those caring, sea green eyes, and his heart pounded as if it would explode with….what? Lust? Love? He needed to figure it out. Hell, he needed to figure everything out.

  “How did you know about our conversation?”

  “I didn’t. I don’t. I just assumed. You guys seemed pretty serious nursing your beers.” She patted Alfred on the head. “I’m here when you want to talk. I’ll be back in a little while.” She turned and headed for the trail. “Come on, Alfred.”

  He’d upset her, and she was doing the thing he asked her to do. Leaving. But now, seeing her backside walk away from him while he was in anguish wasn’t really what he wanted after all.

  “Where are you going?”

  “To get my bag, and to give you some time. I’ll see you in a little while.” She trotted around the bend, his companion hot on her tail.

  “Damn it.” He kicked a rock and stared at the lake.

  Why the hell did he bring her? He couldn’t sleep in the same tent with her without wanting to sleep with her, and he couldn’t sleep with her until he told her about his past. Everything.

  She deserved that much.

  Father had been right. He had to let Annie decide for herself if she wanted to get involved with someone as screwed up as him.

  Problem was…what if she didn’t? Everything amazing they had now would be ruined.

  His heart sank deep into his gut like it had been tied to a bag of rocks.

  Tank sat on a log near his erected tent. He’d placed the sleeping bag inside, moved his bike closer to the resting quarters, and set up some kindle for a fire. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and stared at the time. Nearly five. Annie had been gone for over an hour. Was she avoiding him? If so, he couldn’t say he blamed her.

  Time to make things right.

  He stood to walk the trail back to the other campsites when he spotted Alfred running, tail wagging. Following closely behind, Annie turned around the bend in the trees. She had her bag on her shoulder, a plate in her hand, and an easy smile on her face.

  Beauty wasn’t nearly as upset as him.

  The stones of sadness weighing his heart down lightened as she bounced along the trail. This trip proved good for the both of them. Him, getting one step closer to becoming an official Blue Guardian, and her becoming one step closer to her old self. More and more each day she resembled the girl he remembered. The girl across the lake.

  He met her on the trail. “What’s that?”

  “Stuff for s’mores.” She held up the plate. “Want one?”

  “Sure, but I have to get a lighter to light the fire.”

  “No worries. I have one in my bag.”

  He took the sack from her shoulder and walked beside her to their camp. “Annie, listen. I’m sorry about—”

  “It’s okay, Tyler. You don’t have to apologize.” She playfully bumped into him and stared at him.

  “But I do. I shouldn’t have taken that tone with you. I just, well, I was caught off guard by Father, and—”

  “Our new sleeping arrangement.”

  “Yeah. That.”

  “You know, it’s not like we haven’t slept in the same bed before. I was kinda surprised when you insisted on packing two tents.”

  “You were?” What was she saying? Was she ready to take things to another level?

  Little Tank throbbed in excitement.

  “Yes. It’s just sleep, Tyler.”

  Crash and burn. That was the problem. He couldn’t just sleep.

  “I know, it’s just…” Tank stopped and stared at the trees surrounding the lake. “Here.” He guided her over to the log. “Let’s sit down.” He placed the plate on the ground, and pulled her hand until she nestled beside him on the seat.

  “You know the ants are going to get that, right?” She pointed to the plate.

  “I’ll get you more, I promise, there’s just something I need to tell you before—”

  “Before we sleep in the same tent.”

  “Right.” He blew out a big breath.

  She tucked her small hand in his. “I’m listening. You can trust me, you know that?”

  Trust her. He trusted her more than anyone else in the world, and yet he’d barely told her anything.

  A piece of stray hair blew around her face, and he reached over to tuck it behind her ear. “I do trust you, Annie.” He stared in her shining eyes, full of luster and joy. “You’re ha
ppy being here aren’t you?”

  “Yes, I am. Thank you for inviting me.”

  “Are you happy now? I mean, with me. Are you happy with me?”

  She trusted him. That much she’d told him. But trust and happiness were very different. He wanted to be more than her bodyguard. So much more.

  “Of course, yes.”

  “Good. I just hope…I hope it stays that way.”

  He leaned his forehead to hers. Her intoxicating sweet scent filled him. Sucking in another deep breath inhaling the scent of her mixed with the undercurrent of trees and lake, he bid his time, and enjoyed the moment, the quietness with her. After he told her his past, things would forever change. His heart had never known so much turmoil and peace all at the same time.

  “Tyler. Please,” she whispered. Her breath tickled his skin. “Tell me. What’s going on?”

  He squeezed her cheeks and closed his eyes. “I’m falling for you, Annie. I’ve tried not to. I have, but from the moment I first saw you across the lake walking in the river barefoot holding your dad’s hand, you’ve held a piece of me.” Tank let go of her face, and turned his head toward the lake. The calm of the water seemed a far cry from the uncertainty inside of him. “But I’m broken…”

  “Shh…” She placed her fingers under his chin and turned his head back toward her. She stared in his eyes and wrapped her hands around the nape of his neck. “Don’t say that. Tell me.”

  He took his hand and squeezed her hold on his neck before he pulled back and stood. “My grandfather…there was a reason why he bypassed my mother for the cabin and gave it to me.”

  “Okay?” Her lids rose in question.

  “Gramps knew I wanted to get involved with the Blue Guardians. No, had to get involved with the Guardians.”

  “Why?”

  “When I was a boy. My dad, he did…he did some pretty terrible things to me. He’d hit me, and…torture me in ways no child should have to suffer. He would…he would—”

  “Tyler, stop.” She stood.