Judy Moody, Book Quiz Whiz

by Megan McDonald

  “Oops,” said Stink.

  “This is worse than the time Ramona scribbled in Beezus’s library book. You’re going to have to pay for a whole new book, you know.”

  Stink shuddered. “Here, I can fix this.” He grabbed Judy’s pencil with a troll doll eraser on the end. He started to erase the orange streak.

  “Stink! That’s not an eraser. That’s a troll pencil topper —”

  Rrrip! The page ripped.

  “Uh-oh,” said Judy. “You just made it worse.”

  “Uh-oh,” said Stink. “There goes that two-dollar bill I just found. Unless . . . I could just never return the book and it would be overdue for like two hundred twenty-one years.”

  Judy held her hand to her ear like a phone. “Hello, Jail,” she said, “this is Stink.”

  “Hardee-har-har,” said Stink.

  Judy Moody, Speed-Reader, went back to reading at the speed of light. “Check it out. I bet I can read this whole book in under three minutes.”

  “What are you reading, anyway?” Stink asked.

  “The Princess in Black,” said Judy.

  “What’s it about?” asked Stink.

  “It’s about . . . um . . . a princess,” said Judy. “And she . . . wears black.”

  “Duh,” said Stink.

  Judy ran her finger down one page, then another, and another. “Okay. I got this. Princess Hot Chocolate lives in Wigtower with a skeleton. No, a monster. No, a blue cell phone.”

  “Huh? Let me see,” said Stink. Stink took the book from Judy. “Hello! Her name is Princess Magnolia and she drinks hot chocolate with Duchess Wigtower.”

  “Let me try again.” Judy made her eyes go fast. She flipped pages. “A sick bird rang and the broom closet jumped the castle wall to put pants on a unicorn.”

  “Unicorns don’t wear pants,” said Stink, shaking his head. “A monster alarm rang and the princess went into the broom closet to change into her black ninja outfit. Then she climbed the castle wall and jumped on a unicorn.”

  “Then a flying goat who was afraid of snails ate a ninja named Hornswaggle who had magic toenail clippings that roar,” Judy added.

  “Flying goat! Hornswaggle! Magic toenail clippings!” Stink couldn’t stop laughing. “Um, I hate to tell you this, but speed-reading is not working. You don’t have a clue what you’re reading.”

  “Maybe I just haven’t learned that part of speed-reading yet,” said Judy.

  “What part?” asked Stink.

  “The part where you remember what you read,” Judy said.

  “I think you better go back to normal reading,” said Stink. “Before Princess Hornswaggle marries a ninja snail inside a flying broom closet.”

  “ROAR!” said Judy.

  Jessica Finch crawled inside the Toad Pee Club tent. She opened her pink Peppa Pig lap desk and pulled out a pink Peppa Pig pencil. She tapped the pencil three times on her lap desk. “Meeting of the Bookworms is now called to order.”

  Judy shook Jessica’s smiley-face Magic 8 Ball while reading Anna Hibiscus. Stink was wearing his Cape of Good Answers, covered in sticky notes.

  Jessica peered outside the T. P. Club tent. “We’re missing two Worms.”

  “Sophie is at her Future Astronomers’ meeting,” Stink said.

  “Frank went to get his glasses checked,” said Judy.

  “Well, meeting of three-fifths of the Worms is called to order then.”

  Stink pointed to Jessica’s lap desk. “Isn’t Peppa Pig kind of . . . preschool?”

  “It’s for ages three to seven,” said Jessica.

  “But you’re eight, right?” Stink asked.

  “Stink,” said Judy, “it’s a fact that Jessica Finch likes all things pig. Besides, you still play with Mr. Potato Head.”

  “Mr. Potato Head is for ages two and up. I’m the up.”

  “Why are we having a meeting again?” Judy asked Jessica.

  “Because we have to eat, sleep, and breathe books for the next three days until the big Book Quiz Blowout. I want to be super ready.”

  “Good thing I made notes,” said Stink, pointing to the sticky notes all over his cape. “We can study them. These are the names of the penguins in Mr. Popper’s Penguins. On my back are the names of dogs from books, like Ribsy and Winn-Dixie.”

  Jessica read Stink’s back. She giggled. “But this one says I WON THE SMELLING BEE.”

  Stink’s face looked like a question mark. “Hey! How did that get there?”

  “Smelling bee,” said Jessica. “That’s a good one.”

  “Because you smell, Stink. Get it?” Judy asked.

  “Fine. I’ll call this my Cape of Good Smells.”

  “C’mon, you guys. Get serious,” said Jessica.

  “Hey, did you hear?” Judy asked Jessica. “I’m learning to speed-read. Now I can read way more books in the three days we have left.”

  “Only problem is,” said Stink, “she can’t remember anything she reads. Sticky notes help me remember.”

  “But what will Super Sticky-Note Man do without his cape? You can’t wear that to the real Book Quiz.”

  “Judy’s right,” said Jessica. “No notes or cheat sheets or visual aids allowed. That’s the rules. Anyhoo, I made up a new game to help us get ready for Saturday. You have to guess really fast without using sticky notes.” She took out a tray that was covered with a towel. “Under the towel, there are different objects —”

  “I love the Tray Game!” said Judy.

  “Ooh, I’m good at this,” said Stink.

  “But it’s not the Tray Game,” said Jessica. “It’s the Jessica Finch Future Teacher Reading Game. I invented it.”

  “Huh?” said Stink.

  “Everything on the tray has a connection to one of the books we had to read for the Book Quiz Blowout. Each one is a clue. I’ll hold up an object. You be the detectives and tell me what book it’s connected to.”

  “Cool beans!” said Judy. “I’m a good detective.”

  Jessica reached under the towel and pulled out the first object.

  “A flying-cat eraser? That has to be —” Judy started.

  “Catwings!” Judy and Stink called out at the exact same time.

  “Too easy. I have to find a harder clue,” said Jessica. She reached under the towel. “Ta-da!” In her hand was a ball of squishy red wax. The kind of squishy red wax that used to have cheese inside.

  “Cheese wax!” screeched Judy. “From the Ivy and Bean books. Ivy and Bean save up money so they can buy fancy wax-covered cheese for their school lunches. Then they can make mustaches and unicorn horns out of the wax, like the other kids.”

  “That’s loony,” said Stink.

  “Judy’s right,” said Jessica. “It’s from the Ivy and Bean book No News Is Good News.”

  Next, Jessica pulled out a toy shark.

  “There’s a garbage-eating shark in one of the Toys Go Out books,” said Stink.

  “That’s right!” said Jessica. “But which one?”

  “It’s in . . . Toy Dance Party,” said Stink.

  “Good answer!” said Jessica.

  Jessica reached under the towel again. Judy and Stink couldn’t wait to see what would be next.

  “Is that . . . a cherry pit!” said Stink. “Is it a book about George Washington or something?”

  “Or something,” said Judy. “Give us a hint.”

  “Okay. It’s something that a character likes to collect.”

  Judy twirled the stray piece of hair that always fell over her eye. Stink chewed his thumbnail.

  “It’s P.K.!” said Judy midtwirl. “She’s the middle of three sisters in Maybe Yes, Maybe No, Maybe Maybe, and she has three and a half shoeboxes full of cherry pits.”

  “Correct!” said Jessica. “Wow. You guys are good at this.”

  Stink bounced on his heels. “What else is under there?”

  Jessica pulled out a clock.

  A clock! Judy tried to think of a book with a clock in it.
Stink stared at the clock. They thought and thought. Stink squinted his eyes. Stink scratched his head. Stink made fish lips.

  “Stink, what are you doing?” asked Judy.

  “I’m trying to concentrate like a goldfish,” said Stink.

  “Like a goldfish?” asked Judy and Jessica.

  “Sure, why not? The average person has an attention span of seven seconds. But a goldfish has an attention span of eight seconds.”

  Judy tried to concentrate like a goldfish, too.

  “Wait a second,” said Judy. “What if clock is not the ticktock kind of clock. What if it’s a name, like the last name of the Borrowers!”

  “Arrietty Clock! That’s the name of the main character,” said Stink.

  “Exactly!” said Jessica, clapping her hands.

  “That’s some good goldfish thinking,” said Stink.

  “Thanks!” said Judy.

  “I could play this game all day,” Stink told Jessica. “Any chance you brought two pieces of fudge for one of the clues? Because the answer would be Double Fudge. And we could eat the clue!”

  “Good thinking, Stinkerbell,” said Judy.

  “There’s one more clue,” said Jessica. She reached under the towel and pulled out . . . nothing! She held out her hand, but there was nothing in it. No thing. “Any guesses?” she asked.

  “There’s nothing there,” said Judy.

  “Exactly! Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing! Get it?”

  Judy smacked her forehead. “That’s the book I’m always reading.”

  “No way. That’s impossible to guess!” said Stink. “Even a fourth-grader would not be able to guess that clue.”

  Just then, they heard voices outside the tent. “Knock, knock!”

  “Who’s there?” asked Judy.

  “The Bookworms!”

  “C’mon in!” said Jessica. Sophie and Frank ducked into the T. P. Club tent.

  “Now that we’re all here,” said Judy, “what if we try a new game? Let’s see how many kinds of candies and sweets we can remember from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.”

  “Marshmallow pillows!” said Sophie.

  “Roast-beef chewing gum,” said Frank.

  “Candy-coated pencils,” said Judy. “And lickable wallpaper.”

  “Ice mice,” said Frank.

  “Ice mice are from Harry Potter,” said Jessica.

  “Oops!”

  “Mint jujubes,” said Sophie. “They turn your teeth green for a month.”

  “Hair Toffee!” said Stink. “It makes your hair grow like Bigfoot’s.”

  “Rainbow drops,” said Jessica. “You’ll spit in six different colors.”

  “Don’t forget luminous lollies,” said Sophie. “They’re lollipops that you eat in bed at night.”

  “Rare!” said Judy. “I bet we got them all.”

  “And I didn’t even have to look at my sticky notes,” said Stink.

  “We are all over this like cold on ice,” said Sophie.

  “Like cold on ice mice!” said Frank.

  “Here we come, Bloodsucking Fake-Mustache Defenders!” said Judy.

  After school on Thursday, Mr. Todd lined up the Virginia Dare Bookworms in the front row of Class 3T. Stink and Judy sat on either end, like bookends. Sophie, Jessica, and Frank were in the middle.

  “Welcome, Bookworms,” he started. “This is our last official practice before the final Book Quiz Blowout on Saturday. I know you’ve been working hard. What great readers you all are.”

  Just then, Mr. Todd noticed Stink’s cape covered in sticky notes. “Stink, what’s all this?” asked Mr. Todd.

  “This is my Cape of Good Answers. The sticky notes help me remember stuff from the books I read.”

  “It’s his cheat sheet,” said Jessica Finch.

  “Nah-uh,” said Stink. “Think of it like a study aid.”

  “I can see how notes might be helpful for studying,” said Mr. Todd. “But you’ll have to get through this practice session without them.”

  “Stink, you won’t be able to use notes at the real Book Quiz,” Sophie reminded him. “So think of this as a dress rehearsal.”

  “You mean undress rehearsal,” said Stink. He took off his cape and handed it to Mr. Todd.

  “Okay, team. You’ve eaten up all the books on the reading list like bookworms. Just do your best. If you can’t think of an answer, don’t panic. Take a deep breath and try again.”

  Mr. Todd took out a list of practice questions. “Here we go, Bookworms. Sophie, let’s start with you.”

  “Wait,” said Stink. “Where’s the buzzer?”

  “We won’t be using buzzers today,” said Mr. Todd, “so we can focus on the questions and answers.”

  “Aw, no buzzers!” Stink slunk down in his chair.

  Mr. Todd cleared his throat. “In Ling and Ting: Twice as Silly by Grace Lin, what does Ting plant in her garden?”

  “Cupcakes!” said Sophie. Mr. Todd nodded.

  “Jessica, who wrote and illustrated the true story of a young artist named Jean-Michel Basquiat in Radiant Child?”

  “Javaka Steptoe,” said Jessica Finch.

  “That is correct.”

  “Judy, in Diary of a Spider —”

  “Fly! Grandparents Day! Itsy Bitsy Spider!” Words from Diary of a Spider sputtered out of Judy like popcorn popping.

  “Judy, please slow down and wait until you hear the question. Ready?”

  Judy took a deep breath.

  “In Diary of a Spider by Doreen Cronin, Grampa spider suggests that butterflies taste better when eaten with what?”

  Judy sprang up from her seat. “Not ketchup. Not mustard. Barbecue sauce!”

  “Correct!” said Mr. Todd.

  “Frank, in Friends for Freedom by Suzanne Slade, name one of two famous civil-rights leaders who become good friends.”

  “We just read this. It’s . . .” Frank snapped his fingers three times. “Susan B. Anthony and . . . Frederick Douglass.”

  “Good for you,” said Mr. Todd. “You got them both.”

  “Stink, your turn. In The Miniature World of Marvin and James by Elise Broach, what mischief happens to Marvin the beetle and his cousin Elaine?”

  Bzzz. Stink made a buzzer sound. Then, nothing.

  Judy looked over at Stink. Something was not right. Something was wrong. He looked like he had just swallowed a fly. His eyes looked like a robot’s. Or a zombie’s. Zombie robot! Oh, no! This could only mean one thing . . .

  Brain freeze!

  Judy had to help Stink snap out of it. The clock was ticking . . .

  Stink looked around in a panic, hoping to take a peek at the Cape of Good Answers. He saw Judy instead, pretending to . . . sharpen a pencil.

  “Stink?” asked Mr. Todd. “Are you with us?”

  Stink’s eyebrows shot up. “Pencil sharpener!” said Stink. “They get trapped inside a pencil sharpener.”

  “That is correct,” said Mr. Todd. “But I’m afraid you took too much time, so the Bookworms would not have gotten the ten points.”

  Judy whispered to Frank. “Tell Stink to shake it off.” Frank whispered to Jessica. Jessica whispered to Sophie. Sophie whispered to Stink.

  Stink started to cough. He stuck out his tongue. His face turned red.

  “Need some water, Stink?” asked Mr. Todd.

  “I’m okay. Judy told me to fake a cough.”

  “I said ‘shake it off,’ not ‘fake a cough.’”

  The Bookworms cracked up.

  Mr. Todd asked the Bookworms questions and more questions. But every time it came around to Stink, the same thing happened.

  “Stink,” said Mr. Todd. “In My Father’s Dragon by Ruth Stiles Gannett, name three things that Elmer Elevator takes with him to Wild Island to rescue a baby dragon.”

  Brain freeze! Stink was blanking without his Cape of Good Answers.

  Judy could think of five things. Chewing gum! Lollipops! Hair ribbons! Rubber bands! Magnifying glass! For su
re Stink could come up with three.

  But Stink still had icicles on the brain. Without his cape, Super Sticky-Note Man had lost his superhero powers.

  Judy mimed chewing gum and blowing a bubble. She pretended to lick a lollipop. She acted out tying a ribbon in her hair. But Stink didn’t notice a thing. He had his eyes closed.

  “Excuse me,” said Jessica Finch, “but Judy’s a cheater pants. The rules are you can’t help another team member.”

  “Judy, no helping your brother, please,” said Mr. Todd. “That would get your team a wrong answer.”

  “But this is just practice,” said Judy. “And it’s not like it helped him any.”

  All of a sudden, Stink opened his eyes. He seemed to snap out of it. He was not a robot. He was not a zombie. He was Encyclopedia Stink again.

  “Chewing gum, rubber band, magnifying glass,” said Stink.

  “Stink, you did it!” said Judy. “I didn’t even help him. Honest, Mr. Todd. Some of those were not even the words I was acting out.”

  “Stink, did you come up with the answers all on your own?” asked Mr. Todd.

  “Yes!” said Stink. “Honest to ice cubes! I just closed my eyes and pictured my sticky notes. Then all of a sudden my brain freeze melted and I knew the answers!”

  “I’m glad your brain freeze finally melted, Stink,” said Sophie.

  “Me, too,” said Judy. She pointed to the floor under Stink’s chair. “But now there’s a big wet puddle under your chair.”

  “What?” cried Stink. He leaned over and peered under his chair.

  “Made you look!” said Judy.

  Friday came — the last day before the Book Quiz Blowout. All day at school, the clock did not seem to move. Judy began to think she knew just how Ivan the gorilla felt, pacing in his cage at the Exit 8 Big Top Mall in The One and Only Ivan.

  She could hardly wait to get home and practice one last lightning round with Stink. But when she hopped on the bus, Stink wasn’t on it.

  At home, Judy ran upstairs. Stink was lying on his race-car bed, up to his neck in covers, with a thermometer sticking out of his mouth.

  “Stinkerbell!” said Judy. “You’re sick?”