Marcus & Mia

by Hannah Meade

  He gives me a small smile back. "I do trust you." He leans over and plants a soft kiss on my lips, letting me know he is serious.

  I pull back and run my tongue over my lips, still feeling his kiss on my lips. "Can we go get some mac n cheese?"

  He laughs. "Didn't we just have that last night?"

  I shrug. "Who cares? You can never have too much mac n cheese."

  "Fine. We better hurry though. We have to leave for our flight at three."

  I glance up at the clock. 1:30 P.M. Just enough time. I look back at Ryan, grinning from ear to ear. "You're the best boyfriend ever."

  ~~~

  I shoot straight up in my bed, heart racing. What the hell? Why am I dreaming of Ryan as my boyfriend? This is not supposed to happen. I just broke up with Marcus two months ago. I shouldn't be thinking of being in another relationship so soon.

  Or is it time? Is it time to move on? Is it time to forget about Marcus and move on with someone new?

  I flop back on my bed, wondering what this dream means. I read somewhere that if you dream about someone, that someone is supposedly thinking of you. Does that mean Ryan is thinking about me too? It would make sense. He's tried to kiss me more than once, and succeeded.

  I look over at my radio and groan. Two in the morning?! Why the fuck do I have to have a dream at two in the morning!?

  I roll over and grab my phone. There is no way I am going back to sleep now, so I might as well do something. I open the Instagram tab and start looking at everyone's photos.

  I see endless pictures of Kasey and her boyfriend, which causes me to roll my eyes. I mean, I get you are in love. But do you really have to post a million pictures of you two all over social media? One will do just fine. I never did that with Marcus, and I never plan on doing that will any boyfriend of mine.

  Emily posted pictures of her night. She posted a picture of my TV, which was playing Pretty Little Liars. I sigh as I look at the time she posted it; ten minutes ago. Why is Emily still up?

  I contemplate getting up and just watching TV with her, but decide it isn't worth it. My fleece sheets refuse to let me untangle myself from them.

  I continue to mindlessly scroll through pictures, until one catches my eye.

  Some people might call me stupid for still following my ex-boyfriend on social media, but I don't care. It's not like I really ever look at anything he posts, if he posts at all. Typically, boys don't post as much as girls, so I'm not too worried about it.

  Tonight, though, I am starting to think those people are right. What I see just now, rips my heart out.

  It is a picture of Marcus, kissing some other girl. Some other hot girl. He captions it: Late nights with my girl. <3

  I immediately go to her profile, wondering who the fuck this girl is. He just broke up with me two months ago, and I still can't move on. How can he move on so quickly?!

  Her name is Jasmine Cameron. Thankfully, her profile isn't locked, so I can see everything she posts. Her most recent picture is the one Marcus posted, of them kissing. She has captioned it the same thing he has, except she put "my guy" instead of "my girl". I roll my eyes. How original.

  I look at her other pictures, which are almost all of Marcus and her. My stomach lurches at the first picture she ever posted, two months ago. It is of Marcus's arm around her, in front of the Manhattan Art School Marcus got an internship to. She goes there too?? Did he meet her when he flew to New York? Did they know each other before? The picture is dated the day after Marcus left, the day he arrived in Manhattan.

  They had to have known each other before then, or he wouldn't have his arm around her. I scroll down to see the caption. I wish I hadn't. Glad I finally have him all to myself. J

  What the hell does that mean? Does she know about me? Marcus and I were together right up until the point when he left. I find it hard to believe he told her about his ex-girlfriend if they had just met. He had to have been talking to her while we were together.

  I spend the next hour stalking Jasmine and trying to figure out how they met each other. My mind also wanders to the idea of him cheating on me. There were times when Marcus and I weren't together for a couple days. He could've slept with her then. Some days he would come to my apartment and act weird. Was it because of her?

  I shake my head. No. Marcus wouldn't cheat on me. This is just ridiculous. I shouldn't even care anymore. We haven't been together for two months. He has a right to move on. And I should be too. I should be moving on with my life. Not stalking my ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend on Instagram.

  I lock my phone and plug it in, finally choosing to go to sleep. Or trying to anyway.

  I grab the heating pad off my desk and lay it over my stomach, which has started hurting, of course. This has been happening a lot. Every night, about the time I am going to bed, I feel sick to my stomach. Lately, it has been happening multiple times throughout the day.

  Emily says I should go to the doctor. She keeps telling me that it might be something serious, and that I should take care of it before it gets worse. I keep ignoring her, mostly because I don't know what it is. What if it is something serious? I can't really afford a surgery right now, or whatever needs to be done. I've been hoping it goes away, but so far it hasn't.

  I grimace as a sharp pain makes its way into my stomach. "Fuck," I swear out loud.

  Emily comes in, evidently hearing me. "Your stomach hurting again?"

  I nod, unable to speak.

  She sighs. "Mia, I really think you should go to the doctor. Please let me take you tomorrow. I'm really worried about you."

  I shake my head. "I can't afford a doctor's visit right now, Em." I hate talking about my financial problems. It is so embarrassing.

  Emily sits on my bed and rests a hand over mine. "I'll pay for this visit. This isn't up for debate. I'm going to call them first thing in the morning. Whenever they open. And you are going to the doctor to figure out what the fuck is wrong with you."

  I sigh, hating the turn this conversation went. "No. I will go to the doctor's when I want to go to the doctor's. I'm not going to the doctor right now."

  She nods, probably figuring its useless to argue with me. "Get some sleep, Mia. You need it. Makeup is useless for the bags under your eyes lately." She gets up off my bed, and walks out, probably going back to her binge session on my couch.

  I close my eyes, willing the pain in my stomach to go away.

  As I drift back off to sleep, I think about what a great best friend I have. She is willing to pay for my doctor's visit, just so I can feel better. I can't think of anyone who has ever cared that much for me, not even my parents.

  A tear escapes down my cheek as I realizes that Emily is really the only family I had. My parents were never there for me, but Emily has always been there. Emily is the one who took care of me when I was sick. Emily is the one who helped me out when I had financial troubles.

  Emily is more a parent to me than my actual parents.

  Twenty-Eight

  I go a week avoiding Emily's constant bugging about setting up a doctor's appointment for me. I make a point to be out of the house when she is home.

  I went shopping at the mall, without actually buying anything. I sat down on the beach and read my numerous books. I even went out to dinner with my mom.

  I may not ever forgive my parents for what they did, more so my dad than my mom. However, my mom is still my mom. She may have fucked up with me, but I can try to move on. I've at least made an effort to talk to her. That's more than I can say for my dad. He still hasn't reached out to me, but I try not to care. If he's not going to apologize for what he did, or didn't do, then he's as good as gone to me.

  I've even hung out with Ryan a couple of times. Yeah, it's a little awkward for me. Whenever I look at him, I think of that night. Oh, that night. That was probably the best kiss I've ever had, and it wasn't with my now ex-boyfriend.

  Actually, I am just getting ready to have dinner with him. We are going to the Surf Shack. He
claims that they make dark chocolate pancakes all day long on Saturdays. I can't pass those up. Plus, I am still trying to avoid Emily. I think she may have even forgotten about my stomach, for which I am thankful for.

  "Ow!" My hand flies to my eye, as I have poked my eye with my eyeliner pencil again. I have fucked up my eyeliner about five times now, and I am about to just be done with it. I am so nervous for my unofficial "date" with Ryan, and it is definitely showing.

  My plan has been to curl my hair in beachy waves, but it takes too long. I eventually give up and straighten it all back again.

  I still haven't picked out my outfit, and he is going to be here in fifteen minutes.

  I am a mess.

  15 minutes later

  I am so glad he is late. I still haven't picked out an outfit. I had given up on my makeup a long time ago, settling just for mascara and some foundation. Now, I am throwing shirt after shirt, dress after dress, on my bed, looking for an outfit.

  Nothing seems right. What do you wear to a "semi-date" with a guy who you kissed while you had a boyfriend? You don't go on one, that's what you do.

  I reach into my closet once more and pull out a multi-colored tight dress. It accentuates all my curves, which I know Ryan will like. Why amI thinking about what Ryan would like?

  I hear a knock on my door as I have just slipped the dress on.

  "I'm coming!" I call out. I grab my white wedges, spritz some perfume on, and walk to the door. I take a deep breath, hoping he will like how I look. I mean, it takes me way too much damn time to get ready. If he doesn't compliment me, I will.

  I open the door and smile when I see Ryan. He looks hot. He is wearing a tight, white t-shirt, which fits him perfectly. I can see the outline of his abs through his shirt. I let my eyes travel the length of his body, before finally resting on his eyes. His eyes are the one thing I absolutely love. They are as bright a blue as the ocean, and I love looking into them. I can get lost in his eyes.

  "Mia?"

  I snap out of my trance, staring with wide-eyes at Ryan. "Did you say something?"

  He chuckles. "I said you look amazing."

  I blush. "You don't look so bad yourself."

  "Ready to go?" He holds out his arm for me to take.

  I grab my phone from the coffee table, as well as my purse, and follow Ryan out the door. "So, you promise they have dark chocolate pancakes?"

  He looks back at me and grins. "Oh, I can make it my personal guarantee."

  ~~~

  My mouth waters at the sight of my food arriving. Ryan was right. They definitely serve dark chocolate pancakes, even in the night.

  Ryan laughs as I practically drool all over my food.

  I ignore him and take a big bite. I moan as the pancakes melt in my mouth, leaving me with a chocolate after-taste. "These should be illegal."

  He grins. "I told you so. Aren't you glad I invited you here tonight? This is the last weekend they are doing this. You should be lucky."

  I just smile. I am glad that he has invited me here, and even more glad I have agreed. I am having a great time, and I haven't thought of anything this whole night. Not even Marcus. All of my focus is on Ryan, and these magnificent pancakes.

  Seriously, they are like baked by the gods or something. I'm not a big fan of chocolate, but these are just the right amount of chocolate. The whipped cream on top, which is already melting, adds just a touch of sweetness to the more bitter chocolate. It is a perfect combination.

  "So, how've you been Mia?"

  I cringe at that question. I think about how many times I've been asked that question in the past couple months. Too many. "I'm fine." I hope he doesn't push it. I don't want to talk about my life, as shitty as it is.

  "Have you talked to Marcus lately?"

  What? "We broke up, Ryan. Why would I have talked to him?"

  He actually looks surprised. "I didn't know you broke up. What happened?"

  You. You happened. "We just couldn't do the long distance thing. It was too hard." Though, we never even got the chance to try.

  I watch his facial features, waiting for a reaction. Would he be happy that we are no longer together? Or would he be mad that he hadn't known before?

  I look down at my plate and continue to scarf down my delicious pancakes, which doesn't really look so appetizing anymore.

  "How long have you guys been broken up?"

  "Since he left."

  I look up and see him nod, almost to himself. "Sorry. I didn't mean to re-open old wounds."

  I shrug. It doesn't really bother me now as much as it had. I want to believe that I have moved on; that I am over Marcus. As long as I believe it, it iss true.

  Thankfully, Ryan drops it. "So, are you ready for the next part of our night?"

  "The next part?"

  He just grins and calls our waiter over for the bill.

  We walk out, leaving me with no clue of what is about to happen.

  ~~~

  "Where are we going?" We are currently driving down a deserted road, which seems to get creepier as we drive on. I can hear the soft calls of owls in the distance, which does nothing to calm my nerves. It is like they are tempting me, waiting until I get closer to finally swoop down and claw my eyes out.

  He looks over at me and smiles. "Well, that's a surprise." He reaches his hand over and intertwines our fingers. A flash of heat rushes through my body, making me look away before he sees my blushing cheeks. I try to hold back a smile, but it creeps in involuntarily.

  As he drives, I think about my mother. We had gone out for breakfast the other day in the city, and it was actually really nice. We talked a lot. About how we each were getting on in life; about when we would meet up again. We even talked about my father, no matter how awkward that may be. My mother told me about his promotion at work, and how their new kid has been doing.

  Yes, that's right. They gave birth to another child a couple of months ago, and to be honest, I was afraid. Afraid for her. Afraid how my parents will treat her, if she makes the mistake I made. I want to be there for my little sister, but that is extremely difficult when my father works at home. I can't be my little sister's role model without bumping into my father.

  My mother has told me over and over that I can come home whenever. She keeps telling me that I really should try to repair things with my father, even though he doesn't want to patch things up with me. She's told me that too. Why should I try to get along with him, if that's the last thing he wants to do?

  My mother is a hell of a lot easier to talk to than my father is. With her, I can remember the days before my falling out with my parents; the days when I still talked to them every day. The love I feel for my mother can never be replaced, not even by a stupid argument.

  I am jolted out of my thoughts when the car comes to a stop. I glance around, still seeing nothing but absolute darkness.

  Ryan glances over at me and grins. "We're here." He looks like an excited little kid on Christmas, ready to show me what he got under the tree.

  I raise my eyebrows, as if to say, this is it?

  He waves my skeptical look away, replacing it with positivity. "Don't give me that look. It's dark out, so you can't even see what's so beautiful."

  He comes around to my side of the car, opening my door for me.

  I hesitantly take his outstretched hand, wondering why he is being so weird. Maybe it has to do with what he is about to show me. Maybe it is about this being technically our first date. But whatever it was, I like this side of him. I am always a sucker for the old romantic ways.

  I wrap my hands around his arm, trying to keep from freezing. It may be March, but it is still cold as fuck. We are walking down what looks like a hiking trail, traveling further into darkness. I jump five feet in the air whenever I hear even a twig snap beneath my feet. I am starting to wonder if Ryan is taking me to a special spot, or if he is bringing me out here to kill me.

  He finally stops in front of a big rock. I can hear the sound of rushin
g water, but I have no idea where it is coming from. It is so dark; I can barely see a foot in front of me. I am honestly kind of shocked that Ryan hasn't brought a flashlight or something.

  Ryan holds out a hand to me, motioning for me to step onto the rock.

  I step into the barely-lit foothold in the rock and start climbing. The sound of rushing waves becomes stronger as I continue to climb, searching in the dark for the top. I squint in the dark, looking for the source of the sound. I suddenly feel a hand on my waist, pulling me down softly. I fall into Ryan's lap, laughing as my body immediately warms.

  He leans in close, whispering in my ear. "What do you see?" His hot breath tickles my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

  My eyes scan the area around me, only seeing the pitch-black night. "I don't see anything."

  I feel him reach down for something, and light floods my senses. Red and green lights shine off the trees, illuminating the beautiful waterfall below me. Ah, so that's why I am hearing water. I look back towards Ryan, whose face I can now see crystal clear.

  He is smiling at me, his eyes reflecting the lights around us. "Now, what do you see?"

  I grin and let my eyes travel around us, reveling in how suddenly this dark-as-night place can come alive so quickly. "It's so gorgeous! How did you do this?"

  He shrugs, like it is no big deal. "I have my ways. I thought you would like it. I know its fucking freezing outside, but I thought you would like to see a Christmas wonderland. Even though it's past Christmas."

  My heart melts. He knows how much I love Christmas.

  My smile widens even more, if that is even possible. "I love it. Thank you." Without thinking, I lean down and place a small peck on his lips.

  He stills under me.

  I pull back, cheeks flaming. "Um, sorry. I don't know why I just did that." I look at the waterfall below me; at the lit up trees around me; anywhere but at Ryan. Why did I just do that? I clear my throat and begin to climb off his lap, trying to create some distance between us.

  But I don't get very far before he clamps down on my wrist, trapping me to him. I fall back into him, grabbing his arm to keep my balance. He looks into my eyes intensely, like he is trying to possess me. I see him slowly inch forward, parting his mouth just a bit.