by Colbie Kay
Pudge has the apartment door already open by the time I make it up the stairs. “Oh my God! I’ve been worried.” She takes my hands in hers as she checks me over.
“I’m fine, Pudge. Hanger really only wanted to talk to me. I told him my side of what happened.”
She pulls me into the apartment and shuts the door. “Everything’s okay? No one’s going to come after you?”
“No, no one is coming after me. I could really use that pint of ice cream now, though.”
Pudge shakes her head. “How can you eat? I’m too stressed to eat, but you go right on ahead. Did that guy bring you home?”
“Chayser?” I ask as I step into the kitchen and open the freezer.
She follows behind. “Yeah, him. He’s really good-looking. Do all of them look like that?”
“I guess he is.” I shrug my shoulders. “They get a lot of attention from women; I guess most are hot.”
Pudge’s brow lifts, wrinkling her forehead. “You guess? Shit, if I wasn’t into Jake, I would be begging you to take me to that clubhouse. If they all look like that man who picked you up…” She stops and waves her hand in front of her face as if she’s fanning herself.
“You would get yourself into trouble.” I burst out laughing.
She smiles with a mischievous glint in her eye. “Yes. Yes, I would.”
I enter Lady Sinner’s Monday morning feeling drained after everything that transpired over the weekend. Ever is here waiting, which is unusual since Mondays are my long days. I work from open to close. “Hey, Ever!” I smile at my boss.
She lifts her gaze from the paper she was staring at. “Hey, Shug! How was your weekend?”
My elbow lands on the counter, and I rest my chin in my hand. “It was amazing. I met someone.” I bite my lip, trying to hide my smile.
She leans over the counter. “Tell me more!” Her eyes shine with happiness.
“He’s really great, Ever, the sweetest man I’ve ever met.” The last word trails off. I love being able to talk to Ever now that she has her cochlear implant. It wasn’t a burden to write everything on paper for her because I didn’t know sign language; however, being able to have her understand what I’m saying and me being able to understand her, has definitely made us closer. Besides Pudge, Ever is the only female I would really consider a true friend. And I will always be grateful for the chance she gave me.
“Uh oh, what’s the problem?”
My smile falls, and my chest aches because I miss Cody already. “He’s a bull rider who lives in North Carolina. That’s like a thousand miles from here.”
Her head tilts to the side a little, her forehead scrunched in a frown. “You wanted an out, right? Maybe this is your chance?”
My eyes widen in shock. “I can’t just up and move.” I throw my arms in the air. “I don’t even know if we will work out.”
Ever laughs. “I’m not saying up and move right this minute, but at least give it a chance to see how things go. If you are both serious, it’ll work out. I’m a firm believer in following your dreams.”
“But when you left for New York, you and Writer didn’t do long distance. You two broke up.”
Only one side of her mouth lifts. “That’s because he couldn’t see past the point of me leaving. I wanted him to come with me, and he chose not to. I was following my dreams, Shug, but it ended up that my dreams were here all along. I just didn’t realize it at the time. I wished for more than a city I lived in my whole life, and I experienced everything I wanted to. I don’t have any what-ifs or the regret of not trying, and I can’t resent Writer for keeping me here. He loved me enough to let me go, and our love was strong enough to bring me back.”
I beam. “Now look at you two, married with a baby boy, and you own this amazing store.”
Her eyes shine with pride as she sweeps her gaze around the shop. “You can have everything you ever dreamed of, too, Shug.”
I stare down at the counter as a tidal wave of emotion runs through me. Sighing, I tell her, “I’ll see how it goes.” Wanting to change the subject, I ask, “Why are you here? It’s Monday.”
“I’ve been doing some thinking over the weekend—”
I abruptly interrupt her as panic begins to take root in my belly. “Oh God, you’re not firing me, are you? I swear I’ll never ask off again! Please—”
“Shug, calm down.” Ever giggles. “I’m not firing you. I don’t know what I would do without you, but I am going to hire some part-time help. I don’t think I’ve been fair with having you work all the hours you do. Both of us could use some days off. That’s why I’m going to promote you to store manager. You’ll be salaried instead of hourly, and I’m going to hire someone to cover some shifts for us.”
My mouth flops open and closed like a fish out of water. “You want me to be your store manager?”
“Yes, you’re an amazing employee, Shug. The best I could ask for.” She points her finger at me and narrows her eyes. “But if things work out with this bull rider from North Carolina, I want you to go, got it?”
“Got it!” I run around the counter, and my arms fly around her neck. “Thank you! I won’t let you down.”
She hugs me as tightly as I do her. “I know you won’t.”
As I’m opening the wooden gate, I wave my hand to let Jake know to drive in closer. Once he’s got the truck right where I need it, I use my hand to signal to tell him to stop. Jake jumps out of the driver’s seat, and we open the trailer. The wild, untamed mare escapes the confinement of the trailer and bucks her way into the outdoor riding ring. Jake slides back into the driver’s seat, and as he’s moving the truck forward, I get the gate on the ring closed. Climbing onto the wooden fence, I sit watching the mare buck crazily.
Jake joins me soon after, hopping up onto the fence as well. “She’s a spitfire, but damn she’s a beauty.”
I keep my eyes on the running horse as I reply, “Yeah, she is. We’ll let her run that energy off before we try to approach her.”
“Hey, boys!” My mom comes out to the ring. “She’s beautiful, but it looks like you two have your work cut out for you with that one.”
“Hey, Momma.” I get down from the fence and hug her. My grin is cocky when I declare, “I’ll be ridin’ her in no time.”
Jake pulls her into his side. “Hey, Momma Sterling.”
Momma reaches up and takes the Stetson from my head, holding it up to block the sun, preventing it from blinding her. “I’ve been doing some thinking about the ranch, and I think it would be a good idea to hire a ranch hand.”
“A ranch hand?” I frown in confusion. “What you need a ranch hand for when you have me and Jake?”
“You boys are gone quite a bit with the rodeos, and I’m not gettin’ any younger, Cody.”
My eyes narrow with suspicion, and I cross my arms over my chest. “You already have someone in mind,” I state.
“Yes, his name is Maddox. His momma is a long-time friend of mine who just moved back to town and reached out. Maddox had some trouble at his old school, and I suggested he come here. She agreed it might give him some responsibility and the discipline that he needs. He’ll work the summer, and when school starts back up, he’ll come after and on weekends.”
Jake nudges my arm with his hand. “We’ll show him the ropes, right, Cody?”
My glaring eyes meet Jake’s gleaming ones. Kiss ass. My jaw clenches as I respond, “Sure, we’ll show him the ropes.”
Momma’s lips purse, and she folds her arms over her chest, matching my stance. “You two better be nice. Maddox needs good, positive role models.”
“We’ll be nice,” Jake and I say in unison, both grinning.
“Alright, he’ll be here this afternoon. I’ll send him your way, and you can show him around.”
It’s late afternoon when a teenage boy comes sauntering over to the ring. “Which one of you is Cody?” He has a thick New York accent.
“I’m Cody.” I turn to face him and hold out my hand for him to shake.
“You must be Maddox.” He stares down at my hand with a cocked eyebrow.
His attention drifts away, focusing on something in the distance. “Just tell me what I have to do so I can get the hell out of here.”
“Where did y’all move from?” I ask as I drop my hand.
“New York,” he responds with an attitude.
“Okay.” Pressing my lips together, I nod my head. “Guess New York didn’t teach you any manners.”
His glare returns to mine. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means here in North Carolina, when someone holds their hand out, you shake it.”
“Alright.” Jake steps between Maddox and me, breaking our staring contest. “Cody, let’s show Maddox around. Okay?”
“Yeah,” I snap through my clenched teeth. I don’t have time to deal with this. What the hell was Momma thinking?
The longer we walk around showing Maddox the ranch, the more he seems to be uninterested, and the more my frustration grows. I save the stables for last. “We start at five in the mornin’, and you’ll begin in here. Each stall will need to be mucked out.” When I see his confused expression, I explain, “Clear out the old hay, clean the stall thoroughly includin’ the shavings, fill with fresh hay after it all dries, dump any old food and water that’s left over from the day before, and give the horses fresh everythin’.”
“Five? As in the morning?” His eyes bug out, and he shakes his head rapidly. His lips curl downward with disgust as if he smells something foul, and I don’t mean his bad attitude. “I’m not shoveling no shit.”
Jake and I laugh. “What’s the matter, city boy, you can’t handle a little hard work early in the mornin’?” I guffaw.
“This isn’t hard work, it’s fucking shit,” he huffs.
I smirk and cross my arms over my chest. “See ya’ in the mornin’.”
Maddox stomps away without another word. “He won’t last a week,” Jake declares.
My eyes remain glued on the boy in the distance. “Let’s get back to the mare.”
Jumping out of the shower, I quickly dry off and put on a pair of sweatpants. I join Momma at the dining room table. “How was Maddox?” she inquires.
I plop down in a chair across from her and run my towel over my wet, sandy-colored hair. “I don’t know yet. He’s mouthy, and I don’t know if he’s really goin’ to be up for the work. He’s a little shit, Momma.” I lay my hands on the table.
She covers one of my hands with hers, her eyes boring into mine. “Give him a chance, Cody. He needs a man to give him some guidance, and you’re a good man, Son.”
I blow out a deep breath. “He has no respect.”
She smiles. “Show him.”
I narrow my eyes into slits. “How am I supposed to show him if he doesn’t want this? He didn’t want to be here at all today, and he sure as shit doesn’t want to come at five in the mornin’ or do the work. What exactly am I supposed to do with this kid?”
Her hand pats mine. “You’ll figure it out.” She stands from the table and moves into the kitchen.
“Christ,” I grumble under my breath and lean back in my chair.
“Tell me more about this girl you met,” she yells from the kitchen doorway.
I’m beaming from simply thinking about Sonya. “She’s beautiful, Momma. You’d really like her.”
She sets a plate of food on the table in front of me. “Be careful.”
Glancing up, I’ve seen that worry in her gaze a million times. “I will,” I attempt to reassure her.
Momma sits in her chair and pushes food around her plate with her fork. “I’m not only talkin’ about her. I’m talkin’ about bull ridin’, too. Cody, I’ve told you until I’m blue in the face how terrified I am every time you walk out that door to go ride.”
“I know, but I’m really good, Momma. I wish you’d come and watch me one time.”
She shakes her head. “You know I can’t do that. I can’t watch my son get on one of those bulls and risk his life. It’s bad enough I have to sit here worried the whole time you’re gone. Your father thought he was good, too, and I watched from the stands when that bull’s horn punctured your daddy’s lung. I can’t watch you die too.”
I drop my fork down onto my plate. “I’m not gonna die, Momma.”
“You don’t know that!” Her fist slams onto the table.
Jumping from my seat, my steps pound through the house until I push the front door open and crash into the warm night air. I don’t stop until I reach the stables. Stepping inside, I find the mare Jake and I have begun breaking. She’s lying on the fresh hay we put in for her. “Hey, girl.” She doesn’t try to get up, but she does stare at me. I see some fear, but not nearly as much as when she first escaped the trailer. She’ll come around.
Turning, I lean my back against her gate and pull my phone out of my sweatpants. I quickly find Sonya’s number and hit call.
“Cody.” Her voice sounds damn amazing through the phone.
“Hey, beautiful. How was your day?” I slide down to the ground and close my eyes, imagining her here with me as I listen to every word falling from her perfect lips.
The first few weeks after Cody left were hard, but we were making it work. We talked on the phone every day, I stayed away from the clubhouse, and I settled into my new role as the store manager at Lady Sinners. He would tell me about his days on the ranch, about his upcoming ride, and about how Maddox was still mouthy and not really putting in any effort. Everything was perfect, well, as perfect as it could be considering the distance between us. But after those first few weeks, the calls between Cody and I started becoming less frequent. It’s like we’re playing phone tag, and our lives are intervening, saying this will never work. Those insecurities began to take root, and I can’t help except wonder if it wasn’t too good to be true with him. I try not to think about what he might be doing—like another redhead in an office somewhere, or maybe she’d be blonde this time.
A knock on the door pulls me from my thoughts. When I answer, I’m taken aback by the sight of Chayser. “What are you doing here?”
His hazel eyes lower for a moment before meeting mine. “It’s been a while, Shug. I wanted to see how you’re doin’.”
I nod. “It has been a few months.” I open the door further, letting him into the apartment. “I’ve been good. How are you?” I have mixed feelings about seeing him. Chayser was one I considered a friend, but he’s still part of the world I didn’t think I ever really wanted. Yet, here he stands, and I find myself missing him, the guys, and the clubhouse.
“You look good.” He sits on the couch. His blond dreads hang down to his arms.
“You too.” My brows knit together perplexed as to why he’s here. “What’s going on?”
He’d been looking anywhere except me, but with my question, his gaze slowly drags up to mine. “I miss you.” His voice is quiet, his brows pinched together. He almost appears to be in pain, not physically since I can’t see any wounds, but emotionally.
I suck in a small breath of air and fall onto the couch beside him. “Chayser—”
He interrupts me, “It’s not the same without you there. I want you to come back.”
I shake my head. “I can’t. I won’t.”
His hands reach up and cup my cheeks. His thumbs caress my skin. “You don’t have to do shit you don’t wanna do. We all miss you.”
My head tilts to the side a fraction. “And Ghost?”
“Fuck Ghost! Shug, the clubhouse was your home, don’t let what he did push you away.”
“Push me away?” I laugh and stand. “I don’t want to be a whore, Chayser. I don’t want to be passed around from man to man. That’s not the woman I want to be or the life I want to live.”
“So, don’t! Come back and be with me and only me.”
I pace the living room. “I can’t walk back in there after what happened.”
Chayser gets up and tugs on my arm, forcing me to face him. “Yes, y
ou can. Hell, Ever walked in after a year of being gone like it was nothing.”
“That’s different.”
“How? Look at what she did to Writer when she left.”
“She didn’t fucking shoot anybody!” I throw my arms in the air, exasperated. “She might have broken Writer’s heart, but the two events are clearly not the same.”
“So? They might not be exactly the same, but no one threw her out.”
“Because she’s Zoey’s twin sister, and Zoey’s married to Hanger, the goddamn president.”
Chayser’s hands drop onto my shoulders. “And you’ve known Hanger your entire fuckin’ life! That’s gotta count for something, right? He wants you to come back.”
My eyes narrow. “Did he send you here?”
“No, he didn’t send me, but he knew I was coming. He wants to see you. I came for my own selfish reasons.”
“You’re not gonna leave until I agree, are you?”
A smirk forms on his face. “Nope.”
“Fine. I’ll go.”
“Great, you can ride with me.”
“I can take my car.”
“Nope, you’re riding with me.”
“And you’re making me remember why you guys are damn annoying.” Even though he can be frustrating—truthfully, they all can—I’ve missed the playful banter between Chayser and me.
“Why’s that?”
“Because you’re all damn demanding.”
“We get what we want, don’t we? Let’s go.” He takes my hand in his, lacing our fingers together. Staring down at our joined hands, I don’t try to pull them apart. “Shug?”
I shake my head, trying to figure out what exactly I’m feeling about this. “Let’s go.”
“What are we doing here?” I ask Chayser once he shuts his Harley off. This isn’t the clubhouse. He’s brought me somewhere out of the city with a pond and nothing except the moon and stars shining. The only sounds we hear are the crickets chirping and frogs croaking.
He climbs off his bike only to straddle it in the opposite direction to face me. “Everyone needs a little peace once in a while, Shug. Whether it’s from the noise that surrounds you, in here…” his finger pokes my temple, “Or here,” his hand presses against my chest, where my heart has begun to gallop.
