The End of the Innocence

by Jason Zandri

  “You’re right. Two things there; first, knowing others is one thing. When you can read people fairly well, it’s easier than reading yourself because you can view other people more objectively. So that ability to read others doesn’t necessarily lend itself to reading yourself. Beyond that, he is tripped up over how he misjudged, or maybe underestimated is a better term, the extent of

  Donna’s reaction to all of this.”

  Melissa looked past Diane and through the glass on the back door to watch Matthew turn around in his walk-path at the back of the yard. “So, he had strong feelings for her then?”

  “He did,” Diane said. “And since it seems she won’t have anything to do with him anymore, he’s trying to move past everything. He’s having trouble figuring out what to do.”

  “With?” Melissa asked, looking back at her.

  “His feelings,” she said.

  “For her?”

  Diane leaned back in the chair. “For her, yes. He had them, he let them go, so to speak, and expressed them; now he has to figure out how to stem them. He’s done the best he’s been able to over the past few weeks, but he’s going to need a little more time. Because he’s still raw from everything and dealing with his feelings, in general, he’s in unfamiliar territory. He’s always been the standard ‘boy’; he’d laugh and guffaw, have a good time. If he got flustered at all, he’d express that too. But for him to have any pure romantic feelings for anyone … deep love … that was new to him. The closest thing he ever had before were fleeting feelings for you. This was far more than that.

  He let Pandora out of the box, and now he’s trying to put the lid back on.”

  Melissa nodded, then glanced past her sister to watch Matthew again.

  Diane tipped her head just a little to get into her line of vision and smiled.

  “He could use his friend, Melissa. It doesn’t have to be today, but you should talk to him. He’s close to you and Tim, but there are some things he’ll only tell you.”

  ***

  Mark pushed back his dinner plate, “Whew, that was great; I can’t eat another bite, but I want to. I’m surprised I haven’t gained a ton of weight.”

  “Yet,” Matthew said with a smile.

  Diane stood up with her mother and started to clear the table. “I have dessert too,” Karen said, walking from the dining room into the kitchen.

  “You didn’t save any room, Mark?”

  “Oh don’t worry, Mother,” Diane said and laughed. “I’ve never seen a dessert that Mark couldn’t at least start.”

  Matthew looked over at Melissa and popped his thumb toward the hallway. Melissa didn’t understand his motion, and shook her head and lifted her shoulders.

  “Diane, I’m going to skip the dessert right now. Could you put a little aside for me later?” Matthew asked.

  “Well,” she said with a grin. “I’ll do the best I can, but I can’t guarantee your father won’t be in it later.”

  Mark smiled. “No promises.”

  “Melissa, I was going to go downstairs and listen to some music; want to come down?” Matthew asked as he stood.

  “Sure,” she said, glancing at Diane, who smiled.

  The two left the table and headed downstairs. Matthew reached the bottom first and turned on the lights in the rec room. Melissa walked behind, and he went over to the stereo. With the radio on and the music playing, Matthew walked back over to Melissa and nudged her along to the far end of the room and away from the stairs.

  “Ooooh,” she said with a chuckle. “All this effort to get me alone?”

  Matthew looked shaken at the comment.

  “Kidding,” Melissa said quickly. “Too soon?” She took a seat on the sectional.

  Matthew nodded. “Look, I wanted to ask you, do you have any plans for April vacation?” Matthew sat on the adjacent section of the couch.

  “No,” Melissa said, excited and unsure at where he might be going with his questions. “The wedding on Saturday is the start of the vacation, but other than that, I didn’t have any real plans except working.”

  “I need a favor; can you ask for time off from your job and help me during the days that week at the store?”

  Melissa thought about it for a moment. “I would think so; everyone our age is off from school, so there are plenty of people to cover the counter shifts.”

  “I still need to talk to Tim’s Dad to make sure he can handle everything at the garage, but I was thinking … you know how my Dad and Diane aren’t planning to go anywhere?”

  “Yeah,” Melissa said. “Diane keeps saying it’s not a big deal, but I know she’d like a little time away from the store and just to settle into being married.” Melissa nudged herself a little closer to Matthew.

  “It’s funny, actually,” Matthew said, sinking back into the couch and lifting his legs and feet onto the ottoman. “They’ve been together so long, and she’s spent so many nights here, and now with her living here, ‘married’

  is just a formality.”

  “Oh, that was so romantic,” Melissa said in an exaggerated tone with a bit of a smile. “I hope when I get a marriage proposal from someone, it’s a little more enthusiastic than that.”

  Matthew’s smile broadened. “I didn’t mean it like that. Anyway, so you could help me from, say, eleven to seven each day? I would need help Monday to Saturday. Saturday I can close up a little early, too, depending on how busy we are. It’s a lot of time, I know.”

  “What are you planning?” Melissa asked.

  “Well,” Matthew said with an excited gleam in his eyes. He leaned toward her, “I’m renting a place in Virginia Beach for them. It’s a suite—not too fancy or expensive. I figured, it’s an eight-hour drive or so, and they could afford the fuel for the trip. It’s the time that’s tight with the store. But if Mr. Cafferty can mind the garage, I can run the store. You could help me, and I can put some hours onto Peter as he’s available.”

  “Wow,” Melissa said. “You planned all that for them? That was thoughtful.”

  “Can you help me? I could probably swing it with Peter as long as Mr.

  Cafferty is comfortable, and I can’t see why he wouldn’t be. He’s there full time anyway.”

  “Of course I can.” Melissa leaned over and moved closer so their shoulders touched. “What do you need?” She settled her head on the cushions behind her.

  “Well, I figure that the wedding’s Saturday,” Matthew said, looking up at the ceiling. “Afterward, everyone will come here for something to eat since it’s a small event. I’ll tell them that night, and they can pack and leave in the morning. The store is closed on Sundays, so that’s a non-issue.”

  “Will that be enough time to pack?” Melissa looked at his profile while he continued to stare at the ceiling.

  “I don’t see why not,” Matthew said. “It’s not like they need passports or airline tickets. It’s still too cold to go swimming there, so it’s not like they need a ton of beach attire. Throw some pants, shirts, and underwear in a bag and go.”

  “Ha,” Melissa laughed aloud. “You’ve never traveled with a girl,” she said with a huge grin. Matthew turned and looked at her. “Kidding,” she said.

  “It’ll be fine.” She reached over and patted his face a couple of times as if he were a small boy. “I’ll request the time off; more than happy to help you all week.”

  Matthew smiled. “Thank you.” He reached up to her hand, which rested on the side of his face.

  Melissa left her hand there, and Matthew didn’t take it away. She watched him intently. A look of intensity came over his face, and then he broke a smile. She withdrew her hand, and Matthew moved his away with hers and held it on the couch.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Carrie pulled her car into the parking lot and parked in one of the spaces. Melissa looked over at her. “Thanks again for driving me here; it’s a pain in the ass sometimes not having a car to get around.”

  “It might be inconvenient, but you
spend a lot less money than I do,”

  she said while she shut off the engine. “Are you sure about this?”

  “Sort of.” Melissa looked at the entrance to Lyman Hall High School.

  “Not really, I guess, if I’m going to be honest.”

  “No one else would do this,” Carrie said and leaned over to take her hand.

  “I know,” Melissa said quietly while squeezing it back. “I want Matthew to be happy. It’s been a while now, and the two of them haven’t talked, but I still feel better having this conversation with her.”

  “You don’t owe her the conversation,” Carrie said. “And if Alecia didn’t have practice, she’d be here and tell you the same thing.”

  “She’d tell me to get my head examined,” Melissa said with a small laugh.

  “Exactly,” Carrie said, looking over at the school. “They broke up; she broke it off. What he did was questionable, not entirely right or wrong, but he tried to apologize and owned it. Because of all of that, he’s fair game for anyone interested in him and anyone he’s interested in. You have an honest interest in him; you’re not making a play to piss her off. You’re free to pursue this without ‘checking in’ with her.”

  “I know,” Melissa said, nodding as the students came out of the school.

  After a few moments, Melissa saw Donna and Marie coming out of the building and moved to get out of the car.

  “Did you want me to go with you?” Carrie asked.

  Melissa thought about it for a minute and watched the two of them continue together. “Maybe you should; this way if Marie doesn’t take off on her own, you can sit with her for a few minutes while I have my

  conversation.”

  Carrie nodded and pulled the keys out of the ignition.

  The pair walked toward the girls, and they stopped once they came into view.

  “Hi,” Donna said.

  “Hi.” Melissa tried a smile. “I want to talk with you for a minute if that’s okay.”

  Donna turned to Marie, “Can we spare a few minutes?”

  Marie nodded. Carrie moved alongside while Donna and Melissa walked away.

  “How’ve you been?” Melissa asked.

  “Not too bad really,” she said. “I don’t want to be rude or anything, it’s just that I don’t have a lot of time today. I assume you’re here to talk to me about Matthew. It’s probably smart if we just cut to the chase.”

  Melissa nodded. “Look, are you sure there’s no chance of the two of you getting back together?”

  “He’s been that down and out that you decided to come here on your own to speak for him?” Donna asked.

  “No,” Melissa said, almost insulted by the insinuation. “Matthew’s been busy with a few of his lawn customers and work at the store. The wedding for his Dad is coming up …”

  “And he’s still visiting Liz,” Donna said.

  “Yes,” Melissa said. “He did take another day off from school like he said he would need. I don’t know what the two of them did; I didn’t ask, and Matthew didn’t offer.”

  “It had to be a partial lobotomy,” Donna said with a wry smile. “She’s been a totally different person the past six weeks. Maybe him just being around makes her happy,” she said, and let her voice trail off.

  Melissa took a quick moment to process everything Donna had told

  her.

  “Still,” Donna said. “To get back to your question, I haven’t spoken with Matthew. I stopped for fuel out of habit once, and that was the only time. Well, that and the game … he was here for a game, and I saw him. We were polite, said ‘hi,’ and that was about it.”

  Thoughts about Donna’s comments regarding Liz still tumbled around in Melissa’s head.

  “If I’m honest,” Donna said. “I’ve thought about him a little. And I’ve questioned whether or not I should have given him the benefit of the doubt then, or a second chance now.”

  Melissa nodded and said nothing further.

  “I still need a little more time to think about things, and honestly, there’s no rush,” Donna said.

  Melissa tipped her head as her comments sounded slightly rude. “I’m not following …”

  “I’ve asked around. Liz doesn’t have her hooks into him; at least not yet. If you ask me, she’s off her game because she could have gotten her claws in. I would have thought all she needed to do was try, and she did nothing. Normally, she would’ve made a play, which is why I made the lobotomy comment.”

  Melissa looked at her. “That’s not exactly what you meant when you said there’s no rush.”

  “No,” Donna said. “Matthew isn’t a big prom person; if he’s going to go at all, it’s because he’s with someone already and he takes her. If he’s alone, he has no personal motivation to ask anyone else. So I have more time to think about it if I want.”

  Melissa realized that her mouth hung open, and shut it quickly.

  “Was there something more?” Donna asked.

  Thoughts swam in Melissa’s head. If she told her she was interested in him, she might go and see him sooner; she seemed competitive like that. If she didn’t say anything, then it would be underhanded. She could just say

  someone was interested in him … it couldn’t be Liz now …

  “Melissa?” Donna asked, snapping her fingers. “Was there something else?”

  “I’m not sure what to say,” Melissa blurted out, cutting back toward Carrie.

  “What do you mean?” Donna asked, hurrying behind her.

  Carrie stood as the two approached, and Marie looked over at them.

  “I came here today just to check in with you,” Melissa said, looking over to Carrie, who stood within earshot. “Mainly because I wanted Matthew to be happy, and I thought you two were good together. But, if I’m honest, I also came here selfishly because I was deciding on my time with him, and I didn’t want a guilty conscience if you were genuinely distraught over the breakup or considering going back or anything. You’re clearly on a break and looking at this less than objectively, and as if he has some major obstacle to overcome from before. He apologized for what he did; you didn’t forgive him. Now you’re sort of thinking about it and taking your time because of the convenience factor.”

  Donna turned and stepped a little closer. “I didn’t mean it exactly like that, the way it sounded. I was taking my time thinking things through.”

  Melissa looked at Carrie, and then back. “Are you kidding me?

  ‘Matthew isn’t a big prom person; if he’s going to go at all, it’s because he’s with someone already and he takes her. If he’s alone, he has no personal motivation to ask anyone else. So I have more time to think about it if I want.’ That doesn’t sound to me like someone who has a genuine interest; that sounds to me like someone who is biding their time and weighing their options.”

  “You’re willing to intrude here?” Marie called out.

  “Intrude on what?” Carrie said in a harsh voice, and then looked around and saw that people were thinning out but still nearby. “They’re on the outs. No, scratch that, they are out; anyone who wanted to could have pursued Matthew, or he could have gone off on his own to pursue someone.”

  “So, did you come here to put feelers out? Test the waters?” Donna

  said, agitated. “Did you think I would give you my blessing or something?”

  “I’ve been friends with him since fifth grade,” Melissa said. “I don’t need your blessing or permission. I genuinely wanted him to be happy. If that meant him being with you, then I was willing to take a back seat. I’m glad I had this talk; now I see your true colors. Now I see that I might be just as right a fit for him as I once thought you were.”

  “Well then, it’s a competition,” Donna said. “And no way can you give him what he wants and needs.”

  “Funny,” Liz called out, walking over to the four of them. “I’m sure I told you that at Homecoming.”

  “Shit,” Carrie said under her breath.

 
“Walk with me, please,” Liz said quietly. “We’ll finish this, but not in front of the building.” She began to walk away, but none of the girls followed her. “I’m sorry,” she said, stopping and turning around. “Was I unable to make my point as the newer, kinder, Liz? Walk this way, bitches; we will settle this out.”

  “I don’t answer to you,” Donna said.

  Liz turned and walked right up and into Donna’s face. “You’re right, you don’t, and I’ve been an ass. But I will tell you what, I have one thing you’ll never have, and that’s Matthew’s back. Scratch that, it’s two things; I also have his respect. I’ll be damned if I know why either because I don’t deserve it the way I’ve been, but I am not about to turn that away. Now, I was going to try to be a little discreet about this conversation and have it over yonder, but you want to stand on the tampon box and bark, that’s fine with me. Let’s roll with it right here.”

  “Wait,” Melissa said. She looked around. Students had gathered, and two administrators came over. “Liz walking over attracted all kinds of attention.”

  “As she often does,” Carrie mumbled.

  “Liz, let’s go over to the fields,” Melissa said.

  Carrie walked over to Melissa, and Liz stepped with her.

  “Are you coming, Donna?” Carrie asked. “Despite whatever’s been said, I think you’ll regret not hearing Liz out.”

  “I stopped following Liz some time ago; it’s a good feeling. I’m not going back to it,” Donna said, moving over next to Marie.

  Liz looked her up and down. “Outmatched and out-classed; so stand there. You’d think my prior behavior, you know, that looked a lot like that

  —” she said, pointing. “—would have served as an example of what not to do. Guess the lesson’s lost.”

  “Old dogs never learn new tricks, Liz, and animals can’t change their stripes,” Donna called out as the three walked away. “You’ll never be more than the sum of what you already are.”

  Carrie whipped around, “Then I guess she’ll be the best Liz there is, and that’s better than any Donna on any day.”