Mari's Mistake: A SciFi Alien Romance (Icehome Book 11)

by Ruby Dixon

  "If Mari doesn't mind being pulled away from the party," Veronica says, glancing over at me.

  Mari does not mind in the damn slightest.

  I'm nervous, though. My palms grow sweaty and damp. I manage a nod, but I don't trust my voice. This is the moment I've been waiting for…and I'm absolutely terrified of the answer I might get. What if Maylak can't help us, either? What if we've come all this way and my khui doesn't respond? What if I get my hopes up—and T'chai's hopes up—for absolutely nothing?

  The urge to hide is overwhelming. Just get up and start running. Find a nice dark corner and wait for my brain to settle.

  I must be twitching in my seat, because T'chai gently puts down the child in his lap and gets to his feet. He takes my hand and helps me stand. "We are ready."

  Veronica stands and gives Ashtar a quick kiss on the forehead before leaving the group. Woodenly, I follow behind T'chai as he leads me out of the longhouse. What if this doesn't work? What if I'm broken for good? What if he's so disappointed he doesn't love me anymore? What if this is the final nail in the coffin of our relationship, when we've been working so hard to rebuild things?

  I really will be like La Llorona, just wandering the beaches and weeping all day long, if that's the case.

  But T'chai squeezes my hand in silent support, and my terrified thoughts calm just a little. No, I remind myself. Even if this goes nowhere, we still have something. We still have gloves, and lotion, and mutual admiration for one another. We still have each other. It can be enough, if we let it. I glance over at T'chai. He's watching me as we walk, and his face is so full of love and encouragement that it breaks me, just a little. He's here because I wanted this. He's never suggested it. He's never acted like I'm broken. He's been patient and wonderful through all of this.

  "I love you," I tell him, holding tight to his hand. "I love you so much, T'chai."

  "My Mari. My heart. Everything will be all right." He bends over and lifts my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles.

  And for the first time, I kind of believe it. No matter what happens now, I think we'll be good.

  22

  T'CHAI

  I can feel Mari trembling as we enter the healer's hut. I know she is full of worry, but I am not. No matter what happens, she is my mate. It does not matter if my khui does not sing for her. I know the truth of it. In this, I have no fear.

  But I want to hear good things, if only to make my mate smile again.

  "There has been no progress since we last spoke?" M'lak looks to V'ronca.

  "None. It's like everything I do falls into a void," V'ronca admits, her expression unhappy. "I've tried and I've tried, but I can't seem to make her khui wake up again." She makes a frustrated sound. "If I'd have known—"

  M'lak raises a hand, her expression calm. "Do not tear yourself apart for a decision made to save someone. We all do the best that we can. We all have doubts. Many of my people died in a great sickness before I came into my healing. For a long time, I was angry with myself. Why did I not come into my healing sooner? If I had, would I have been able to save lives? It took me many, many turns of the seasons to be at peace with this." She reaches out and touches V'ronca's hand, and I am surprised to see that the human healer is weeping. "We do what we can to save a life, and we are not always entirely successful. This is just how the story goes. To be a healer is to always doubt you have done enough."

  "It sucks," V'ronca says in a shaky voice, wiping away her tears. "I feel like I ruined Mari's life. Mari and T'chai both."

  "I have a life," I say, speaking up. "With my mate at my side. Nothing is ruined." I look over at Mari and give her my proudest smile. "You will hear no complaints from my lips."

  My mate gives me a sweet look. "We just want to try," she says to M'lak. "There's no harm in trying, right? It doesn't change how I feel about T'chai, or him about me."

  V'ronca groans and shakes her head, swiping at her cheeks again. "And now I'm making you comfort me. God, I'm the worst. This is about Mari and T'chai. Not me. Let's just forget I said anything and concentrate on them."

  "Of course." M'lak sits cross-legged next to my mate and puts her hand out for Mari to take. "This is new territory for me, as well. Resonance was so very rare before the humans arrived that even those that hated each other would still willingly go along with a mating because it meant new life, and we needed those lives so badly."

  "Wellllll now I just feel worse." Veronica sighs.

  "Hush," M'lak says, closing her eyes as Mari puts her hand into M'lak's larger one. "Let us see what we have."

  I hold my breath as the healer quiets, unmoving. I look over at my mate, but Mari's eyes are closed, too, as if she can somehow help M'lak find answers. Each breath feels endless as we wait, and I keep my gaze locked on Mari, wanting to see some sort of response from her—a smile, a sigh, anything.

  She remains tense, eyes closed.

  When it seems an eternity has passed, M'lak lets out a small sigh and opens her eyes. She squeezes Mari's hand and looks over at my mate. "It is very strange."

  "What?" V'ronca asks. "What did I do?"

  M'lak thinks for a moment, then glances over at me. She puts her hand out and I automatically place mine in hers. Her brows furrow for a breath, and then she releases my hand again. "His khui is not as affected as hers. His is waiting for hers."

  "Waiting for mine to do what?" Mari asks, her voice a whisper.

  The healer makes a soft sound in her throat, then takes Mari's hand again. "All khuis sing a song to the world around them. They sing to a mate, but they are always…singing." She touches her chest. "A healer's khui sings to others so they can heal, for example. But Mar-ee's khui has no song."

  "No song?" Mari echoes, blanching.

  M'lak hums in her throat. "No, that is wrong. There is a song…but it has stopped singing because it can no longer hear the songs of others. That is why it is silent and confused. It has been cut off from the songs around it. It waits to hear your song again." She looks over at me. "You are still bonded to one another, but Mar-ee's khui hears nothing, so it has stopped singing."

  Mari thinks for a moment and then confesses, "When T'chai touches me…I feel…wrong. Like he shouldn't be. It makes everything feel…off."

  M'lak nods in understanding. "Your khui does not understand that he is your mate. It makes you feel distress because it is waiting for him."

  "It makes sense, even if it sucks," Mari agrees. She looks over at me, an apology on her face. "I'm so sorry, T'chai."

  My heart fills with emotion for my mate. "Why do you apologize? You cannot help it. I knew you were uncomfortable. I have always been happy to wait for you. I will wait even longer, if I must. You are worth waiting for."

  Mari's eyes fill with tears, but she smiles at me.

  V'ronca makes a sound of distress. "Can we fix it? This silence? So they can resonate again?"

  Immediately, Mari reaches out and touches M'lak's arm. "If we can't resonate again, I just want to be able to touch T'chai." She looks over at me. "Resonance doesn't matter. Not to me."

  "Nor to me," I echo softly. "All that matters is you."

  "Can we do that?" Mari turns back to M'lak, curiosity on her face. "If nothing else?"

  The sa-khui healer does not say yes or no. She just extends her hand to Mari again. "Let us get to work."

  The hum of the healer's khui fills the hut. It hums so loud and so strong—and yet so different from resonance—that I feel it in the air. My khui is silent in my chest, but it does not feel…wrong, or unhappy. The healer's song is comforting, and when V'ronca closes her eyes and tilts her head back, I hear her khui singing along with it. The song of the healers fills the air, and Mari clutches tight to M'lak's hand.

  I want to do something, but…what? There is nothing for me to do except wait, and watch.

  So I study my mate instead, memorizing the lines of her lovely face. Her dark brows, the straight line of her nose, the way her mouth flexes as she thinks. The thick
black lashes that flutter as the healing continues. Everything about her is impossibly perfect to me, and I smile to think of that time on the beach when M'tok looked back at me and said she was ugly. I thought he was a fool.

  She has never been made for anyone but me, my Mari. In my eyes, she has always been exquisite.

  As if she can hear my tender thoughts, Mari opens her eyes and the bright blue of her khui's glow spills out. She smiles at me, achingly sweet, and my chest begins to hum. I touch the front of my tunic, hoping…but it is not the frantic song of resonance. This is a gentler song, a song of greeting, a song of pleasure.

  Across the small hut, Mari's khui hums back. My mate smiles wider.

  M'lak opens her eyes and her expression is drained. She drops Mari's hand and gives a little sigh, reaching for a skin of water and taking a sip. "It is done."

  The skin is offered around the room, and Mari takes a sip before passing it on to V'ronca, who somehow looks almost as drawn as M'lak. My mate looks radiant and healthy, as if all of their energy has been poured into her. She touches her chest and looks over at me uncertainly. "I hear it humming, but…I don't feel any different?"

  When V'ronca hands the waterskin to me, I immediately give it back to M'lak, who needs it more than I do. "I do not think we are resonating," I confess, and hope my mate does not feel disappointment.

  But Mari gives me a radiant smile, touching her chest. "I feel different, though. Better. More awake." She glances over at M'lak. "You did something, at least."

  M'lak's smile is tired. "Vuh-ron-ca helped. Her khui sang a healing song to mine, giving me strength as I sang to yours. Yours sings as it should, now."

  "Thank god," V'ronca mutters, her shoulders slumping with relief.

  Mari bites her lip. "Does this mean…are we going to resonate? To one another again?"

  "In time, I imagine that yes, you will," M’lak says. "It might not happen right away. Resonance cannot be predicted. You might not resonate to one another for several turns of the moon…or it might be tomorrow. It is impossible to say."

  "That's fine as long as I can touch him." Mari jumps to her feet and crosses the hut to stand before me. She licks her lips, nervous, and reaches her hand out to hover over my chest. And then she hesitates, her expression becoming full of fear.

  I understand. She does not want to find out that something is wrong again. She does not want that disappointment after getting her hopes up. My heart fills with love for her, and I reach out and touch a lock of her mane, twining it around my fingers. "As long as we are together, I am fine with all of it, Mari. I do not need resonance to love you."

  She smiles up at me, her eyes bright, and then reaches up and cups my cheek.

  Holding my breath, I keep perfectly still as she traces her fingertips along my jaw. My body responds—but then again, it always has. My response has never been the problem. The gentle song in my chest continues, and I feel warm and pleased when her song matches mine. A look of wonder crosses Mari's face, and she keeps petting my jaw, over and over again.

  "You feel different," she confesses. "Better."

  "No unpleasant sensation?" I ask, daring to trace my thumb across her cheek. "Do you want me to stop?"

  "Never," Mari whispers, and leans over to bite the pad of my thumb even as she gazes up at me.

  It is the most erotic thing I have ever seen, and a low groan escapes my throat. I want to haul my mate into my arms and carry her away to somewhere private so I can cover her and rut into her welcoming body. But we are in a strange village and I do not know this place at all. I grab my mate and pull her against me, cradling her against my chest and holding her so close that our khui songs match.

  I do not care if we resonate, ever. As long as Mari smiles, I have everything I have ever wanted.

  23

  MARI

  We thank the healer with hugs—and I hug Veronica, too, because she's been beating herself up over this for months, just like I have. "I'm just so relieved," Veronica confesses as she squeezes me over and over again. "You feel different when I touch you. More vibrant. More alive."

  I feel that way, too. I turn toward T'chai, and I can't wait to touch him again. I want to kiss him all over, just because I can. It's like my libido has come roaring back, now that I can enjoy my mate once more. Whatever was wrong with my khui before, it feels practically perky now. "I'm just happy we were able to get an answer."

  "Yeah, the answer is, 'Don't mess with the khui,'" Veronica jokes half-heartedly and then yawns. "God, it feels like it's been a million years since we came in here. Are you tired, Maylak?" Veronica holds a hand out to the healer, who takes it and gets to her feet.

  "Very," Maylak admits. "But it is a good tired, the one that comes after a strong healing." She smiles sleepily at us. "My mate will bring our kits along shortly. Go and find Shorshie and she will help you get settled for the night. I am too drained to help."

  I feel a twinge of guilt at her weariness and impulsively hug her. "Thank you, Maylak."

  "Of course. It is a healer's duty to help." She touches Veronica's arm. "And it would not have been possible for me without this one's help. You have my thanks, Vuh-ron-ca."

  Veronica's expression is bashful. "You're too kind." When Maylak sits down again, Veronica wobbles and then sits down, too. "I'm a little pooped. You think you could tell Ashtar to come find me?" Her eyelids are heavy, as if she's fighting sleep. Maylak looks the same.

  My T'chai presses a kiss to the top of my head. "Wait here and watch over them. I will return with their mates." He disappears out of the hut, and even though I'm weary from the day's travel, I don't look as if I'm about to collapse like the two healers, so I fuss over them and tuck blankets around their bodies, handing over the waterskin and making sure they take a few sips. T'chai isn't gone long, and he's back with a handsome sa-khui man with a gentle expression, and Ashtar, who simply scoops Veronica up and carries her out of the hut.

  "I have it from here," the sa-khui male says as he strokes his mate's cheek. "Mar-lenn is watching our kits for us this night." He glances up at me, where T'chai tucks a cloak around my shoulders as if I'm as helpless and tired as the healers. "Was she able to help?" I nod, and he smiles. "I am glad."

  "Is she okay?" I hesitate when T'chai tries to lead me away. I don't want to leave if Maylak is struggling, not after she helped us.

  Her mate just chuckles. "Oh yes. Healing is just a tiring thing. She will sleep and be back to herself in the morning."

  I let T'chai lead me away, making a mental note to check in on both healers in the morning. It's the least I can do. A new face is waiting for us outside, a woman with brown hair, a rounded figure, and a warm smile. "I'm Nora. I've got some blankets for you both and you'll be staying in Bek and Elly's hut, since they're gone. Let me show you where it is."

  I stifle a yawn, loving the feel of T'chai's protective hand on my shoulders. I never want him to stop touching me again. "What about Tia? Does she have someplace to stay?"

  Nora just chuckles. "Oh yeah. She's fine. I think she's staying with Kate and Harrec tonight—she's in love with their pet snowcat."

  "Someone has a pet snowcat?" I try to picture having one of those as a pet. I've seen them on the rare occasions that I went out hunting with others, and they're as big as cougars and twice as fluffy.

  "Do you want one?" T'chai asks me. "I will get you one."

  I laugh, half-terrified at the thought. "No, I think I'll pass for now. I've got enough going on."

  Nora nods sympathetically. "He's definitely a handful, especially with little Thunder around the village now."

  "Little Thunder?"

  "Another pet dvisti," Nora says with a sigh. "Holvek's new pet. Now my girls want one, too. We're going to be overrun with critters if this keeps up."

  It sounds kind of sweet to me, but I can see how it can be annoying for the parents. It sounds like there will be plenty for Tia to do here. I know she likes babies, and this village seems like baby central. I hope
she doesn't get too lonely…but I'm also glad she's sleeping somewhere else tonight. I want to be alone with T'chai.

  I want to touch him all over just to see how it feels.

  "Here we go," Nora says briskly, and leads us to the edge of the village, to a hut at the very end of the “street.” She pulls aside the entrance flap, showing us a small, dark hut with a dead fire pit and a chilly interior. "There's a heap of blankets for you two and several fresh dirtbeak nests in the fuel basket. I left some kah for you—the spicy trail mix—and a skin full of water."

  "Dirtbeak nests?" T'chai asks, his thumb rubbing a pattern against my nape, under my hair. "What is this?"

  "You don't have dirtbeaks on the coast? No, I guess you wouldn't. Dagesh tells me they like the mountains. Think really big, fat pigeons who make nests out of dvisti dung. It's as gross as it sounds, but the nests make good fuel." She wrinkles her nose a little. "Never thought I'd speak so positively of poop-loving birds but here we are. If you need anything else, just come to the fire. Zolaya's brought out some sah-sah and I suspect there's going to be a few folks partying until dawn." Her eyes sparkle. "I know my Dagesh will be."

  "Thank you," I tell her softly, distracted by the way T'chai's thumb pad traces circles against my skin. My entire body is pricking to life, and I'm loving it. "I'm sure we'll be fine."

  Nora smiles cheerfully at us and heads out, calling something about hot breakfast at dawn, but I'm not paying a lick of attention. I'm too focused on T'chai as he steps forward and bends over the fire pit, peering at the dark contents. My body's on fire at the sight of his tight, rounded ass, and the slow twitch of his tail, and I can't take it any longer. I'm dying to just grab him and fling him down onto the nearest surface and fuck him crazy.

  But T'chai—ever protective—gets the basket of fuel and hums under his breath. "Let me make a fire to warm you, my Mari. It is much colder here than in our village, and I will not have you freezing."