by Ruby Dixon
I shuffle forward, and then I see where I'm at. Sort of.
It's a strange place, the beach completely different than I've seen before. I’m on a beach, but the cliffs are tall and menacing, without any place to scale them. It’s like being completely closed in by rock, and it looks wholly unfamiliar. There is a ton of junk piled up at the tide-line on the beach, as if shit's been washing up on the shore for weeks and weeks and no one's bothered to gather any of it. It looks like a big pile of wreckage in a perfect line across the beach, and the sight of it makes my skin prickle. So much driftwood…someone should have gathered it, right?
Unless I'm someplace new.
But how did I get someplace new? This isn't motherfucking Narnia. I can't go through a door to another world. This is an ice planet.
A figure steps out from behind some of the wreckage, hopping down and pacing toward me. It's a child, I realize as the figure approaches, though it doesn't look like any of the kids back at camp. His eyes are khui blue and glow in the spooky way all of our eyes glow in the dark. It's hard to see due to the shadows, but I'm also pretty sure he doesn't have four arms. He doesn't look human, either, though. There’s a strange flatness to his features that mark him as alien, as do the tiny horns at his brow and the shock of wild pale hair that sticks right up from his head like a flame. Not quite human, but he doesn’t quite match the aliens I’ve seen, either. The strange child tilts his head and watches me, then crouches on his haunches like a wild animal. He’s totally naked, I realize, despite the cold weather, and can’t be more than three or four years old.
Is he…feral, then? How the hell did that happen?
"Hi there, cutie. Who are you?" I smile, my voice sweet, and hold a hand out to him.
His tail swishes back and forth, and as it stirs the sand like a brush, I realize that it’s much, much shorter than the alien tails I’ve seen. It’s stubby and bushy. He giggles at me and then scampers away on hands and knees, racing back to the piles of driftwood.
I straighten, wondering if I should chase him. As I do, I look up.
Another pair of eyes flare to life in the darkness. Bigger. Narrowed.
Menacing.
Uh oh. I stare at the second newcomer as he approaches and realize I am in some serious, serious shit.
Author’s Note
Hello there!
It feels like forever since we’ve been back to Icehome, and I missed it. This book kind of exploded with a bunch of plot things I’ve been simmering on for a while, so let’s take a few pieces apart and talk about them.
FIRST AND FOREMOST, this book would not be possible without Alejandra Amador Garcia. When I released Callie’s book, I got a lot of things wrong about her Cuban-American heritage. I got foods wrong. Expressions. All kinds of stuff. In my ignorance, I thought I’d done enough research. Nope! Alejandra kindly contacted me and pointed out where I’d fucked things. I made corrections, and asked her to advise me on this book for Mari’s Mexican-American heritage, as Alejandra has both Cuban and Mexican family members. She’s been an absolute angel every step of the way, and I can’t thank her enough for her support and kindness in the face of my ignorance. It’s important to get things right, so thank you again, Alejandra. You’re amazing.
Let’s talk about the plot a bit!
I’ve been teasing that things have Gone Wrong between T’chai and Mari ever since they got back. It came down to a concept I’ve been noodling with for a long time: healers can ‘talk’ to khuis, so why don’t they ever guide them with resonance? It would make sense, right? So I played with the idea of the khui being a stubborn asshole of a symbiont (really, it fits given some of the pairings it’s made in the past) and that tampering with it makes it shut down like a fragile snowflake facing internet criticism. I also wanted to play with how a couple would handle resonance not being completed, and I think with given the society that they’re in, it’d create all kinds of inadequacy feelings. You’re literally surrounded by people in love, in the process of being in love, and shooting out babies. Sex is a constant. Procreation is a constant. And knowing that you can’t do either is a special kind of hell because it’s thrown in your face every day.
As a childless woman (mostly by choice, some by shitty biology), I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been asked by my gynecologist when I want to get pregnant. Or relatives at Thanksgiving asking when we’re making a family. Co-workers ask about your family when you hang out. I’ve gotten used to the questions and the looks like there’s something ‘not quite right’ with you if you choose not to have kids. Even if everyone’s trying to be sensitive about it, you’re aware of it hanging over your head.
It’s a totally valid choice to not have children, but it affects Mari deeply because she DOES want what she and T’chai had previously. She does want a family. And she’s in Resonance Central with everyone in some sort of stage of pregnancy, so it all affects her mindset.
Even more than that, I wanted to play with the aspect of female sexuality. What do you do when you’ve lost your mojo? What if you used to get turned on by your mate and now it bothers you when he touches you? What do you do if your feelings are the same but the physicality isn’t? While everything I’ve written is largely influenced by the khui (an easy out, really), losing your sexuality (or having a lack of one) is a very valid and real thing. T’chai suggests options to Mari but leaves them up to her, and they both have to come to terms with the fact that things may never be ‘like they were’ between them again. That doesn’t make it bad. It just makes it different.
A lot of the time in romance novels, we have heroines that just come at the drop of a hat and heroes with enormous schlongs. I mean, it’s fantasy. I’ll probably never write a hero with a tiny pecker because this IS a fantasy, but I also like to play with different levels of how people deal with different levels of sexuality. For some people, it’s just not good sex (Bridget and A’tam) no matter how equipped the dude. Sometimes it’s downright awkward (like when Haeden and Josie first get together, or Rukh and Harlow). I try to show a variety of things in writing because they all interest me as character aspects.
And of course my heroines are going to take charge of their sexuality and have many wonderful orgasms with their mates because we’re still in fantasy-land. But I do think it needs to be brought up now and then, because perfect people are great, but not that interesting to me as characters. I like playing with the messy bits, and I like them figuring themselves out.
Speaking of! There is a wonderful book called Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski, PhD. It discusses all kinds of sexuality and sexual responses of women - from lack of desire to too much desire and everything in between. It’s a fantastic read and very conversational. I glaze over when someone ‘sciences’ at me for too long, but this book was really useful for understanding the thinking of “I love my partner but I’m not into sex” and why that might be. The answer: CONTEXT. Check it out - if you’re curious about how women respond, I think it’s such an interesting book (and the good news is that most libraries probably have it, too!).
Let’s talk about TIA. Our darling, sweet little seventeen year old flirt. I wanted to have a younger human woman on the island in addition to older, just to span age ranges (Flor is the oldest at 32, and Tia is the youngest at 17, with everyone else falling in between). Of course, that presents a problem when matching everyone up, because seventeen is awful, awful young to hook up with a forever mate and start making babies. Most seventeen year olds want to have a good time, and so Tia’s been flirting her little heart out. Of course, our guys don’t understand what the fuck ‘dating’ is. They think of things in two ways: Mine and Not Mine. I figured this would cause problems in the tribe, and then I tried to think of the best way to solve it.
Answer: There is no ‘best way’ to solve it.
I tried to think about the most practical way to solve it. Do you get rid of all the problem men who don’t know how to hand
le a young, teasing girl? Or do you take the girl out of the equation? I tried to think of it in a hunter-gatherer sort of way. All the guys that bring in food are worth more than Tia, who mostly hangs around camp and talks. So I made the decision that Tia would be brought over to Croatoan, where she can grow up without causing chaos. She’ll be back, but she’s going to be out of commission for a bit. Is it the best answer? No. But is it the best answer for now? Probably!
Also…I brought in a new character! It feels like a big deal to me, but you guys were probably expecting it. Or maybe you weren’t! It occurred to me a few books ago that we had even numbers (which makes sense, of course) and that, in turn, made everything a little predictable. I decided I didn’t like predictable and what could I do to change that up? To add a little bit of uneasiness in our bachelors and bachelorettes. Do I kill someone off and mess up the numbers?
(No. The answer is always no. I get too attached and can’t kill anyone. Shh.)
So then I thought about introducing someone. The seeds were kinda planted in the last book when Niri ‘thoughtfully’ dropped off a care package. That was me setting the stage for Daisy’s appearance. Now everyone’s going to have their feathers ruffled because there’s too many women vs the men (which is an aspect I haven’t played with yet!) and does that mean someone gets left out? Someone gets two mates? What?!?! WHAT!!!???
Anyhoo, I hoped you enjoyed her appearance and will continue to enjoy Miss Sunshine and Excitement as she shows up in future books.
Speaking of future books…I’m still in an Icehome mood so the next book is…RAVEN. You’re probably wondering how the heck I got there. Raven hasn’t been on screen much, right? But while writing this book, Raven’s character really popped out at me and started speaking, and so of course I had to bound right into her book. I’m already hard at work on it and it should be August’s release barring any craziness. So yes, there is a BIT of a cliffhanger, but Mari and T’chai are all settled and snuggled in their HEA and Raven is next, so don’t be too angry at me. :)
Still on deck — another dragons book. Corsairs. I really, really want to get to Corsairs ASAP so I promise you this isn’t a tease. Anchor and Aspect #3 (Kassam). Nora’s book (IPB). They’re coming! I just need to write faster (story of my life).
Until then, I’m still writing a daily serial which you can read and follow along with on Facebook OR follow on my website. I post a new short chapter every day, and if you like slow burn…well, this is the book for you. It’s my way of giving back in this ongoing Covid-19 crisis. I can’t do much to help, but I can entertain you, right? Right.
This is getting long, so I’ll end it here and just say thank you so much for continuing to read my books and encouraging me. I really do have the best fans in the world and I adore all of you. <3
Ruby
PEOPLE OF ICEHOME
The ‘Castaways’ (Icehome Tribe)
Lauren/Lo – Adult female at the beach camp. Once had glasses. Likes to be a problem solver. Resonates to K’thar, newly pregnant. Friend to Marisol.
Marisol – Terrified adult female at beach camp who is fond of hiding. Gets stranded with Lo on the island. Resonates to T’chai. Due to his sickness, their resonance is ‘turned off’ by the healer.
Hannah – Resonates to J’shel when the island tribes arrive. Newly pregnant. Resident busybody. Now assistant to Veronica.
Angie – Adult female at the beach camp. Pregnant with mystery baby when awoken. Gives birth to Glory (a clone female). Resonates to Vordis. Now pregnant again.
Glory - A qura’aki clone baby, implanted in Angie. Newborn and cute as hell.
Willa – Adult female with a southern twang. Lo’s friend. Gren’s most ardent defender. Resonates to Gren. Pregnant.
Gren (rhymes with HEN) – Beastly, feral ex-gladiator male. Attacks on sight. Resonates to Willa. Soft and fuzzy, according to Aayla.
Veronica – Newest healer on the planet. Resonated to Ashtar upon arrival. Bit of a klutz. Needs to work on her bedside manner. Has enlisted Hannah to be her assistant.
Ashtar (Ash-TARR) – Flirty golden ex-gladiator and former slave. Drakoni male who can shapeshift to a “battle form” as a dragon and has the ability to communicate telepathically. Resonates immediately to Veronica. Stud.
Vordis (Vohr-DISS rhymes with Floor-Miss) – One of the red “twins,” ex-gladiators of a race called a’ani. Longtime friends/brothers with Thrand, another clone. The really devoted one. Hot sauce. Resonates to Angie.
Thrand (rhymes with ‘Bland’ - no one tell him this) – One of the red “twins,” ex-gladiators of a race called a’ani. Longtime friends/brothers with Vordis. The hotheaded, competitive one. Ketchup. Resonates to Nadine.
Tia – Teenager at the beach camp. Flirting with Sessah…and probably everyone else. Treats all the unmated men like they’re her personal harem. Transferred to Croatoan for the time being.
Nadine – One of the adult females at the beach camp. Huntress and go-getter. Resonates to Thrand.
Callie – One of the adult females at the beach camp. Harry Potter fan. Resonated to M’tok. Also hated M’tok for a long, long time. She gets over it.
Bridget – One of the adult females at the beach camp. Friend to Veronica. Hooked up with A’tam. Broke up with A’tam. It’s complicated.
Steph – One of the adult females at the beach camp. Former psychology student.
Raven – One of the adult females at the beach camp. Blonde, despite her name. Hippie parents. Likes to sing. Currently missing.
Penny – One of the adult females at the beach camp. Learning to hunt. Human sunshine. Loves adventure and a good time. Stolen by S’bren. Resonates to S’bren.
Devi – Chatty adult female at beach camp. Scientist nerd. Hair flipper. Loves dinosaurs. Resonates to N’dek and is newly pregnant.
Flordeliza – Adult female at beach camp. Once a nurse. Kind of a clown.
Samantha – One of the adult females at the beach camp. Really fucking loves being on the ice planet, which no one else can figure out.
Daisy - Newcomer! Dropped on the ice planet by Mardok’s old friend Niri. Former slave for over ten years. Very beautiful. Utterly thrilled and ready to mate and have babies, which means everyone unmated hates her.
From the Old Tribe (Croatoan)
Raahosh (Ruh-HOSH) – Hunter of the Croatoan tribe. Messed up horns. Mated to Liz and has 3 daughters, Raashel, Aayla, and now Ahsoka. Generally unpleasant to be around (except to his mate).
Liz – Snarky human mate to Raahosh. Mother to Raashel, Aayla, and newborn Ahsoka. Star Wars nerd. Salty.
Raashel (Ruh-SHELL) - Liz and Raahosh’s oldest daughter. A bit of a tattletale.
Aayla (Ay-LAH) - Liz and Raahosh’s middle child. Fascinated by Gren.
Ahsoka (Uh-soh-kuh) - Liz and Raahosh’s newborn daughter.
Sessah (SESS-uh) – Unmated, lanky, teen sa-khui from Croatoan. Currently dazzled by all the single ladies in Icehome. Upset over Tia’s constant flirting with all unhitched penises.
Rukh (ROOKH) – Hunter of the Croatoan tribe and ex-outcast. His mate is Harlow. Brother to Raahosh, father to Rukhar and now Daya.
Harlow – Mate to Rukh, mother to Rukhar and newborn Daya. She assists Mardok with technology stolen/looted from the broken ships.
Rukhar (ROOKH-arr) – Harlow and Rukh’s young son.
Daya (DIE—uh) Harlow and Rukh’s newborn daughter.
Farli (FAR-lee) – One of the few sa-khui females. Mated to Mardok and has a pet dvisti named Chompy. Pregnant.
Mardok (Mar-DOCK) – Ex-soldier who has chosen to remain on the ice planet. Technology guru. Mated to Farli.
Taushen (Tow (rhymes with cow)-SHEN) – Hunter and mate to Brooke. Recently arrived at Icehome camp.
Brooke – recently mated to Taushen. Hairdresser back on Earth, recently arrived at Icehome camp. Will braid anyone that sits still for more than five minutes. Pregnant.
Bek (BECK) - Hunter and mate to Elly. Recently arrived at the Icehome
camp with S’bren and Penny. Utterly devoted to his woman. Kind of a crank-monster otherwise.
Elly - Human female who was kept in alien captivity for over ten years. Very fragile and shy, and tends to regress when uneasy. Adores Gail. Worships Bek. Loves the stars.
The Island Clans
Clan of the Strong Arm
K’thar (Kuh-THARR) – Hunter, de-facto leader of Strong Arm, resonates to Lauren/Lo. Owner of Kki/Fat One.
J’shel (Juh-SHELL) – Young hunter of Strong Arm, resonates to Hannah. Very cheerful. Long braid. Dirty talker.
N’dek (Nuh-DECK) – Hunter of Strong Arm, recently lost a leg in a kaari attack. No longer depressed and sitting around the fire a lot. Resonated to Devi and has prosthetic leg.
I’chai (Eye-shy) – deceased female, mother of Z’hren
Z’hren (ZRENN) – Orphaned child of Strong Arm, now child of Gail and Vaza
Fat One/Kki (KUH-kee) – nightflyer pet of the clan
Gail – adopted parent of Z’hren, older human female, once of Croatoan. Loves to mother everyone in the tribe that will let her.
Vaza – adopted parent of Z’hren, older sa-khui male, once of Croatoan. Loves to give advice, most of it bad.
Clan of the Tall Horn
R’jaal (Arr-JAHL) – Clan leader of Tall Horn. Kinda lonely.
T’chai (Tuh-SHY) – Hunter of Tall Horn, resonates to Marisol.Attacked by skyclaw on the island and nearly dies of wounds, so the healer stops his resonance. Eventually re-resonates to Mari.
M’tok (Muh-TOCK) – Hunter of Tall Horn, resonates to Callie. Likes things neat and orderly. Bit of a sneak.
