Home on the Ranch--The Cowboy's Dilemma

by Pamela Britton

  There were a million things he’d meant to ask her. Things like how she was feeling. If she needed anything. If she’d worked things out with her ex, but all he could do was head for his truck because damned if he didn’t still recall, in minute detail, how she’d felt when pressed up against him.

  “Damn.”

  Chapter 7

  She’d never been so nervous in her life. Silly of her, she knew. It wasn’t like her future depended on her meeting with Maverick and Charlotte. She had a wedding this weekend and another one next month, the holiday wedding that she was looking forward to starting. Silver ribbons. Lots of glitter. She’d always wanted a Christmas wedding, had even talked about it with Trent back when she’d thought he loved her.

  Her stomach clenched, this time for a different reason. The terror she felt at the thought of a future raising a baby all by herself...well, it kept her up at night. Work had helped. It gave her something to focus on, but in the in-between moments, those seconds when her mind went quiet and she had time to think, the fear launched itself at her like a hungry tiger.

  This morning, though, she’d be meeting Maverick and Charlotte, two people who’d been impossible to pin down before now. She’d been bouncing emails back and forth between them, however, and so she felt like she’d gotten to know her new clients. Or maybe not her new clients. It remained to be seen if they’d let her help them with their wedding.

  She had to drive by the stables to get to Flynn’s brother’s home, and a quick glance at the clock on her dash told her she’d be early. It hadn’t taken her nearly as long to drive around to the main ranch as she’d thought. She debated with herself whether she should keep going, but found herself turning the wheel and parking in front of the stables before she could think better of it. She needed to check in with him, anyway, about the light thing.

  A horse neighed as she got out of her car. He was in the barn aisle and she wondered if she’d made a mistake. He was busy. But Flynn was always busy, and yet he still took the time to check in on her.

  “Hey there,” she called out to him.

  He was her only friend. Maybe not friend, but the only person she could talk to. Jayden had flown back to Texas after her baby shower, although she’d told her to text her if she needed anything. She’d be back in town in a couple weeks, she’d said. But it wasn’t the same as having someone she could talk to face-to-face.

  “Let me guess,” he said, pulling on a strap, the horse he stood next to pricking its ears in her direction. “You brought me Christmas lights and duct tape.”

  She smiled. “No. Nothing like that. I’m on my way to see your brother and his fiancée, and found myself with a little extra time. Thought I’d pop in and see you.”

  It was a glorious day outside, light streaming in from behind him and casting him in darkness until she got close enough that she could make out the five o’clock shadow on his chin, his black hair peeking out from beneath his straw cowboy hat. He appeared to be getting ready to ride. He’d taken the strap he’d been pulling on and knotted it tight before turning to face her.

  “Gonna wow them with your light show, huh?”

  “Hopefully,” she said, rocking up on her toes and forcing a smile because she didn’t feel all that confident. Flynn’s future sister-in-law seemed nice, but she’d had to practically pry ideas out of her. She’d begun to fear that after all her hard work they’d decide they didn’t need or want her help.

  “How are you feeling?”

  There it was. The question he always asked her. The question she’d never had Trent ask her. Her ex had stopped answering her calls and text messages, his intentions clear. He wanted nothing to do with her or the baby.

  “I’m good.” She reached out and petted the horse’s brown coat. He or she was so soft, and its black mane so long someone had braided off sections of hair, the ones in the middle hanging past the horse’s neck.

  “Have you heard from the baby’s father?”

  How did he do that? It was as if he’d read her mind. And for some reason, she couldn’t look him in the eye when she answered, “No.”

  “Putz.”

  “Yes, he is.” She fiddled with one of the braids.

  “So what are you going to do?”

  This was why she’d stopped in. She hadn’t even known how badly she needed to talk to someone until she’d seen his truck parked in front of the stable. She didn’t have girlfriends, had never gotten along with her own sex, with the exception of Jayden. She’d wanted to do something with her life. All her friends seemed content to find a man and settle down to have babies. How ironic to find herself in the very situation they all wanted, the very thing she’d told herself she would never do until she was older and married and more settled in life. Unlike her mother, who’d had her way too young and had struggled her whole life raising her. Like mother, like daughter.

  “Well, I can sue him in court and force him to take a paternity test, but other than that, I’m on my own. Unless he comes around, but everything I’ve read online indicates he probably won’t.”

  “And you’re one hundred percent sure you want to keep it.”

  Her hand moved to her belly before she even realized it. “I’m not getting rid of it. I can’t. I just don’t have it in me.”

  But that didn’t mean she wasn’t absolutely terrified. She’d had her first panic attack last week. They’d gotten more frequent now that Trent had gone silent.

  “It’s going to be okay,” he said softly, the kindness in his voice nearly her undoing.

  “It is?” she said softly. “I wish I had your confidence.”

  He stepped around the horse, stopping in front of her, and she admitted he was unlike any man she’d ever met before. More outdoorsy. Masculine. No-nonsense.

  “Have you talked to Jayden? She was in your shoes once.”

  “I have. She gave me some great tips. Thanks for sending her my way.”

  But she was still terrified. Jayden had been candid about what she’d been through and how hard it’d been when she’d been on her own. She’d given her some great advice, but none of it changed the fact that she was pregnant and single.

  “Hey.”

  She realized she’d been hanging her head. Her heart had started to race again. The panic had returned, probably because she was due to meet with his brother and future sister-in-law and she was hoping—oh, how she hoped—they liked what she’d come up with. She was always nervous before a presentation.

  “It really is going to be all right.”

  “I just wish I had a crystal ball, you know? One I could look into and see for myself that I’m going to make it. That me and the kid will be fine. Right now I’m having a hard time believing.”

  He’d taken another step closer and as she looked into his eyes she wished things were different. That she wasn’t pregnant and carrying a child and that her future wasn’t so up in the air.

  A hand touched her chin. Everything inside her stilled. The chaos inside her head faded away until there was nothing left in the world but the two of them.

  “You’re going to be all right. And I know that because you remind me so much of my sister. You have her inner strength. I can see it in your eyes.”

  She couldn’t move. “Knowing your sister, that is probably the greatest compliment I’ve ever received.”

  The world went still. She forgot that they were in the middle of a barn with a horse nearby and that she had a meeting in just a few minutes. There was just her and Flynn and this buzzing in her head that warmed her up and turned her inside and out.

  He looked like he wanted to say something more, or perhaps do something more, and her whole body tensed in anticipation of whatever it was. But then his hand dropped and he stepped away and she was left standing there when he turned back to his horse.

  “I have to get the bridle.”

>   It was like coming up for air after being tumbled by an ocean wave where you don’t know which side was up and which way you were facing—that was what he made her feel like.

  “Yeah,” she heard herself say. “I should get going, too.”

  He turned halfway. “Good luck,” he said, heading farther down the aisle.

  “Thanks.”

  But then he stopped and her heart went all crazy again. When he slowly turned to face her, his body was backlit by the light streaming through the barn door again. He became a form in shadow that didn’t move for a moment while he contemplated words.

  “You’re going to be all right, Amy. You really are. You’re smart and good at what you do and your heart is in the right place. Most women would take the easy way out and get rid of the baby, but not you. As difficult as it may be, you’re determined to tough it out. I admire that.”

  He turned and headed off again and she was left standing there, her throat having grown thick, her eyes warming with unshed tears.

  Those were the kindest words anyone had said to her.

  * * *

  When he came back out with the bridle, she was gone. He was just in time to see her back out of the parking area and head off to Maverick and Charlotte’s house.

  His hand still buzzed from the way it’d felt to hold her chin in his hand. He’d had the thought that he’d never felt anything so delicate in his life.

  “Dumb, stupid thing to do,” he muttered.

  “What is?”

  He turned, startling the horse he’d been about to put a bridle on.

  “Whoa there,” said his dad, walking into the barn. “Didn’t mean to take you by surprise.”

  Flynn took a deep breath. “I didn’t hear you coming.”

  “Who was that?” Reese Gillian asked, nodding with his chin toward Amy’s car.

  “Our tenant. The one who couldn’t pay her rent.”

  “But she paid it already.”

  “I know.”

  “What’s she doing here?” his dad asked.

  “She popped in on her way to see Maverick and Charlotte. She’s presenting her ideas to them about their wedding.”

  “She’s still doing that?”

  “Yup.”

  He glanced at his dad, trying to see him through Amy’s eyes. He could see why she’d be intimidated by him. Gray-haired and with a stocky build, his dad looked like he might have served in the military—he had that kind of commanding air about him. People said the Gillian brothers took after their mom. Flynn had often wondered if it was his grief over losing his wife that had carved lines into his dad’s face. Try as he might, he couldn’t remember them being there before. His mom’s death had changed him. It had changed them all, really, each in a different way.

  “How’s he been working the flag?” his dad asked, eyeing the horse he saddled.

  “Good.” He started leading Vinnie toward the arena, knowing his dad would follow. “He’s not as confident as I would like when I ask him to get down in the dirt, but he’ll get there.”

  They raised cutting horses, the type of show horse that went into a herd of cattle and separated one steer out. A good horse was able to keep a steer from running back to his friends.

  “Maverick told me you’ve been out riding with him on the trails.”

  “I have.” He blushed at the thought of telling his dad it was so he could check on their tenant. The less he knew about that, the better.

  “Good. I like a horse that can go down the trail.”

  Sunlight nearly blinded him, and even with his cowboy hat on, Flynn had to squint as they exited the barn. “Been helping Maverick gather and sort, too. He’s been running around like a chicken with his head cut off ever since Carson shifted most of his duties over to him.”

  “I know,” his dad said. “This place is a lot of work and I’m grateful I have you kids to help run it.”

  His future sister-in-law worked for Child Protective Services. That was how Charlotte had met his brother. Maverick had been erroneously listed as the father of a one-year-old, but he’d taken the child into his home despite the false allegation. Charlotte had been his caseworker. The two had bonded while caring for the child and now Flynn would have a new sister-in-law and a new niece all within a year of each other.

  “I actually wanted to talk to you about something,” his dad said when Flynn stopped in front of the arena gate.

  “Figured as much. I recognize the look on your face. Something on your mind?”

  Reese nodded. “Been thinking I’d like to make a bid for a world championship. I know we usually do the open cutting shows, but the American Quarter Horse Association has cutting shows, too. I thought it’d look good on our stallion’s résumé to add an AQHA world championship to it.”

  Flynn rocked back on his heels. “So you want me to start taking our horses to cutting shows as well as the breed shows?”

  His dad nodded. “I know that’ll be double the work. And it’ll mean a lot of travel, less time to help Maverick, too, but horses have always been your passion. I didn’t think you’d mind.”

  He didn’t mind. Not really. But it would mean extra work for his brother.

  Who would keep an eye on Amy?

  The thought was so out of the blue and so unlike him that he winced, a gesture his dad misunderstood.

  “I hate to cut back on the cutting horse shows,” his dad said, “but if that would make it easier—”

  “No, no. I just need to look at the breed show schedule. Maybe there’s some local competitions we could attend. Markie is such an outstanding individual that I doubt it’d take me more than a couple of shows to get him qualified. And the AQHA World Show is in the fall. We could make it work.”

  His dad clapped him on the back. “Terrific. I knew you’d see this as an opportunity instead of a hassle.”

  Maybe he could get his aunt to look in on Amy from time to time, because no matter how often he told himself she was none of his business, he couldn’t help but feel that she was. The woman had nobody in the world to look after her. Things could happen with pregnancy. Look at his sister-in-law Kait. She’d been put on bed rest when carrying the twins.

  “Come on, Vinnie. Let’s go.”

  But as he swung up on the three-year-old gelding, he found himself looking down the road where she’d disappeared and wondering how it was going with Maverick and Charlotte, and more important, just why he cared so much.

  Chapter 8

  “All right. Close your eyes.”

  Amy stared at Charlotte and Maverick expectantly, although the man in the cowboy hat seemed perturbed by her request. That was okay. He’d understand soon enough.

  When they both complied, she turned in her wooden chair and picked up the manzanita branch she’d decorated with battery-operated Christmas lights. She gingerly set it down on the kitchen table. When she switched on the lights, she realized the effect wasn’t as dazzling as she’d wanted, thanks to the picture window behind her. Fortunately, Charlotte and Maverick had plantation shutters in their massive kitchen. It was a simple matter to swing them shut, a move that caught the attention of the little girl in the playpen to her left.

  “Pretty,” said the child when she spotted the lights.

  “Okay, open.”

  It was indeed pretty, and Amy smiled at the way Charlotte’s and Maverick’s eyes widened. They must have seen her bring in the branch on a pedestal, but it was clear they’d had no idea she’d decorated it with lights.

  “Want,” said the little girl, Olivia, holding out her hands.

  “No, baby,” Charlotte said. “That belongs to Amy.”

  “Now, picture that old tree Maverick proposed to you under, the one up on the hill behind your aunt’s house, lit up like this, but only better. Thousands upon thousands of lights all wrapped around the t
runk and the branches.”

  She took them through her idea, pulling out the proposal she’d created, pointing at the pictures she’d digitally altered to give them an idea of what the meadow could look like. A picture of a horse and carriage lit up like she wanted. Charlotte had a smile on her face, seemingly enchanted. Maverick was nodding, but his expression was hard to read—at least he wasn’t frowning or asking if she had any other ideas. Usually, she had a few aces up her sleeve in case a proposal fell flat, but she’d been so in love with lighting up that old tree that she’d put all her eggs in one basket.

  “Normally, I would just suggest renting chairs, but I think it’d be neat to use chairs that didn’t match. We could purchase them, probably for cheap. You know, odds and ends from thrift stores. No two chairs would be alike. It would give the seating arrangements a county-like feel.”

  “Or,” Charlotte interjected, “we could ask Carson to make us some benches for the guests to sit on.”

  “That would be neat,” Amy said. “Do you think Carson would do that for you?”

  “Are you kidding? He’s built half the furniture in this house. He’s amazing, and I’m sure he’d be touched that we asked.”

  “Maybe he’d make you a table to hold the guest book, too,” Amy said. “What a neat memento that would be for you guys to keep.”

  “Oh, I love that idea, too.”

  “So, you like the whole thing, then?” Amy asked. “The lights and carriage ride and all the other stuff?”

  “Are you kidding? I love it,” Charlotte said. She smiled and Amy admired how pretty she looked with her brown eyes lit up with excitement. It was the weekend but, in gray slacks and a light gray button-down shirt, she looked like she’d just come from work. Her brown hair was pulled back, revealing tiny pearl earrings in her ears. Earlier, she’d explained what she did for a living and Amy got the feeling that she loved her job working for Child Protective Services, but it occurred to Amy that it was probably one of those jobs that called you away from home at all hours of the day and night.