by Kiki Leach
"You think it's possible to get something outta his mother today that would help push us further into the goddamn direction we're needing to go? Something about maybe where the fuck to find Lena and this goddamn money?"
"She'd push us in a further direction," I replied, "but I'm not certain it would be in the right one. Especially not after the way I've treated her since she's been back."
"Maybe you should apologize for the shit you've said to her, Chey. Throw her a goddamn bone and show you mean it."
"How?"
"I don't know, baby -- think about something..." He eyed me from head to toe and peered. "You need a dress."
"So?"
"Ask her to tag along with you in the hope of finding one."
"Absolutely not--"
"Chey." As I turned, he lept forward and slid his hand around my arm, dragging me to his chest. I swallowed hard as my head fell back, then closed my eyes and exhaled. His hand tightened as he brushed his thumb along my skin. "It's at a point where we might need her goddamn help in clearing this shit."
"And if she's not willing to give me anything, I've wasted my time."
"I don't think you'll waste anything," he said. "She wants to reconcile, there's gotta be something behind it. You need to play it up and see what the fuck she's willing to say."
"But if she gives me nothing, Nikko?"
"You do the goddamn same," he retorted. "Even if she gives you everything, we need to know where the fuck she's standing right now."
"Between a multitude of dicks."
He laughed and slipped his other hand behind my arm, then brought me close enough to feel the rapidly beating motion of his heart. "If Taz's mother knows Lena and where the fuck to find her, we'll be able to get the fuck outta this shit before the wedding happens, leaving everything that comes after between us and nobody else."
"If we find her and she still has the money, and it hasn't been spent or washed like you said was possible. Either way, you still need a wife to get your hands on Chino's money..." His eyes lowered from mine as he nodded. "You're not asking me to marry you for that reason--"
"I want you for more than that shit, Cheyenne," he replied. "You know how fuckin' much by now."
I bobbed my head and looked behind him; I swallowed hard and tapped my foot against the floor. "Chino stopped by while you were out with Benny."
He soured. "What the fuck did he want?"
"To tell me about the date, that he's all too anxious in setting one. I told him it was coming, but if this becomes real, it has to be more than about him, or you and the money, and me and my club."
"I know that shit, baby..." He dragged his hands along my arms, then slid his fingers between mine and pressed our palms together. A jolt rolled through me as I gasped. "I wanna fuckin' make you...." He stopped to gather more of his thoughts, and grinned. "I wanna fuckin' make you happier than you think you deserve in all this shit. I wanna give you every goddamn thing I could never have for myself and more of it, baby. I wanna give you safety and a motherfuckin' life without fear."
"You honestly think you can do that?"
"I can fuckin' try. You let me and you'll never know another thing in your life outside of security, baby."
"Promise?" He leaned in to kiss my forehead, then lowered his mouth to mine and exhaled, coating my lips with his taste. I moaned. "You believe before this is over that there will be more between us than what we have right now?"
"A whole fuck of a lot more, Chey." A deep grin parted his lips. "All this shit might've come about 'cause of my old man and what yours did to his club, but it's gonna motherfuckin' end with the two of us still standing with each other, baby. Not even death can keep us from what the fuck we deserve in having what we do."
I threw my hands around his neck and lifted to my toes. "I'll play nice with Deborah, and see if Brandi is willing to do the same to come with us."
He slid his arms around my waist as his grin remained in place. "Alright."
"And I want you to meet her. I want to see how she is around you considering what she told me and what we now know about her and Chino."
"You're sure?"
I nodded. "If she's weird about it, I'll know more than from what she says."
He gulped back what appeared to be bile and grit his teeth. "Alright."
I lowered my eyes to his mouth and deeply inhaled. "You believe that you could really fall in love with me?" I asked him.
"I've got no goddamn reason to believe I couldn't... no goddamn reason to believe I haven't already."
"You haven't." I laughed. "I know that you haven't -- not yet."
He groaned while slipping his hands to my behind, pressing me against him, then bent forward to kiss me.
I rolled my fingers through his hair as his tongue measured the length of my mouth, then pulled back after becoming dizzy and tugged at his shirt.
"Give me something more than this before we head out there," I said.
He snickered while sliding his hands inside my shirt. "I want you waiting for me, begging like you always fuckin' do."
"That isn't fair, Nikko."
"Neither are you, baby. Neither is that sweet pussy I'm gonna have from you all over again tonight." He pushed himself between my thighs, forcing me to whimper as I fell into his chest. He brushed his mouth against the bridge of my ear and wrapped his teeth around the edge of my lobe. "Come on," he muttered, flicking his tongue against my skin. "We need to get ready."
Chapter Forty-One
You Only Call Me When You're Drunk
The picnic was in full swing by the time we finally arrived to the club.
With the twist of blaring music and smell of home cooked food swimming high in the air, a host of members and their women from the Buffalo and Albany charters danced between bikes and drank in open corners while their children rushed the swing sets and circled the lot.
After hauling my desserts into the kitchen with Joker's help, Nikko returned to find me with Brandi and a handful of twelve year olds playing flag football in a small, homemade field out back. We tapped out after spotting him on the sidelines and headed up the hill as he kept his focus ahead.
"This is what a picnic looks like out here?" he questioned. "Kids having the time of their lives while your club argues about how long it takes to cook the perfect steak around a barbeque pit out front?"
"Pretty much." Brandi pushed her brows together in what could only be described as potential fury while staring straight into his face, then threw her arms across her chest and squint. "Were you expecting coked out bikers with half naked club whores making their plates to wake them up?"
Nikko chuckled and rattled his head. "Nah, though it wouldn't have been much different from the shit I was used to seeing from my old man and his crew during a family function."
She rolled her eyes to mine and smirked. "This is who you're choosing to marry?"
I looked to Nikko and bobbed my head, then turned back to her and swallowed hard before responding. "Yes."
"And he cares about you? Not just the way you look or what he can do for you?" I nodded. "And you care about him for more than just his face, money and giant dick?"
"Brandi," I snapped.
"She never told me the last part, but I assumed as much with how she's been acting," she said. "White boys have never really gotten a pass around here unless they were from another club, and especially not with her."
Nikko arched his brow and looked at me from the corner of his eye. "Guess this shit makes me some kind of exception."
"I guess so. But don't take it to heart so quickly." Brandi stepped forward and leaned into his face. He leaned back and glowered. "Because if you hurt her, I will come after you. I will fight you with every weapon in my possession and I will win -- do you understand what I'm saying to you? Because this girl is my best friend in the world, and her pain affects me too; and I don't like being in pain when I'm right side up with clothes on. So you keep her happy and I'll leave you the hell alone. Jus
t remember that." Nikko gulped. She smirked again while turning to me, then draped an arm across my neck and pulled me into a hug. I wrapped a hand around her back before she pulled away and skipped around us to join the brothers out front.
Nikko watched until she disappeared, then whirled back to me and whistled. "She's a goddamn pill."
"Hard to swallow, I know."
"Even with a goddamn glass of water, Cheyenne. She's too fuckin' much."
I lifted my shoulders and wagged my head. "She's always looked out for me in that way. How she speaks to people has kept me out of trouble more than once in my life."
"I can fuckin' see why." He laughed. "You think she knows anything about Chino and Deborah hooking up?"
"I doubt it. None of the other girls know too much around here either, and if they did, they wouldn't confess it for fear of being labeled a snitch and getting booted from the club and its perks."
He turned back to the field and peered. "Some of 'em include bringing their kids out here for events like this?"
"From time to time."
He nodded. "Seeing 'em out there like that makes me think of when I didn't know any of what the fuck my old man was about behind what he said."
I stepped closer to him and brushed my hands along his arms; his muscles flexed against my palms. "It makes me think of the pictures you sent; the look of innocence on your face."
"Yeah..." His head dropped as his eyes narrowed. "The shit before all that never managed to stick with my ass for as long as I hoped it would."
"Same here." He stared into my face, then bent forward to kiss me softly, deeply. I pulled back after a few seconds to catch my breath and threw my hand across my chest.
He wrapped his hands around my face and pressed his thumbs beneath my chin, tilting my head until my lips parted and I exhaled. "You didn't show me around this place last time we were here."
"We didn't exactly have the time for it," I said.
A smile arched the corners of his mouth as he nodded again. "You wanna make time for it today?"
"What exactly are you so interested in seeing out here, Nikko?"
He brushed the tip of his nose along the edge of my own and dropped back. "Any and all you're ever willing to show me out here, baby."
"HEY, CHEY!" one of the girls, Alita, called out to me from the field. "You still got next with us, right?!" She flicked the football in the air, leading me to jump forward and catch it before handing it over to Nikko.
"No, honey, but..." I tapped the corner of the ball against his shoulder, then dropped it inside his hands. "My man here can fill in for a little while. From what I've heard, he's pretty good."
The kids looked between each other and laughed while shaking their heads.
Alita crossed her arms. "You're sure?"
"Positive."
Nikko peeked at me as I turned for the club, then wrapped his hand around my wrist, dragging me back until I stopped walking. He glared. "You're sacrificing my ass to a bunch of kids just like that?"
"I need to talk to Snake before Deborah and Taz show up and the girls start serving food. You'll be fine out here and so will they." I kissed the corner of his mouth while releasing myself from his grip.
"Hey, old man!" Nikko whipped his head back around to the field and frowned as a boy, Alex, stepped forward. "You gonna spend all this time macking on your girl or come out here with the rest of us and start playing some damn ball?"
Never one to be intimidated, Nikko lifted the sleeves of his shirt, rolling them past his elbows and tightened his hand around the center of the football while jogging forward. He pointed between them and pinched his gaze. "Your mother out here?" he asked.
Alex shook his head and flicked a thumb out behind him. "Theirs are though--"
"Good. You're gonna need a few of 'em to patch up those egos after I'm done with you all out here. Let's go."
As he tossed the ball into the field, the kids scattered like ants to grab for it first. I hurried back to the front and darted inside the club with the hope of remaining unnoticed between crowds of beer drinking members and their women, but was out of luck the minute Deborah called out to me from behind the bar.
I stopped dead center as she scurried in front of me, then fell in line behind her as she grabbed my hand and walked us into the kitchen. After closing the door, she traipsed to the sink and turned on the water to refill two empty blocks of ice trays.
"What time did you finally get here?" she asked me.
"What does it matter?"
"Not much. I'm only curious."
"Why?" She turned off the water and spun back around to me in silence, then leaned against the sink and soured. "Snake said that you wouldn't be showing up until much later," I said.
"He was wrong--"
"Or you lied to him about what time you planned to come."
"Why in the hell would I do something like that, Cheyenne?"
"God only knows. Maybe the same reason you brought me in here, which was for nothing, or the same reason you're choosing to stay in the city despite the club no longer needing your presence, which is for something."
"I wasn't aware that you had now become a representative of the Renegades as a whole."
"You're not aware of too much around here anymore and haven't been since you first left. Where's Taz?"
"Buying more snacks for the raffle -- he'll be here soon."
I grimaced. "How the hell did you get here if it wasn't with him?"
"There are cabs--"
"You wouldn't have taken anything that would've required handing over even a nickel to a stranger after getting out of his car." She remained silent. I stepped forward and tightened my jaw. "You know that I'm here with Nikko? He wants to meet you."
She turned from me in an instant and gulped back what sounded like a metal ball spinning inside her throat, then flared her nostrils and sniffed. "Where is he?"
"Out back with the kids playing flag football. He and Taz didn't get along when they first met--"
"I'm sure you're hoping for the same between us," she said.
"I'm not, actually." I sighed and dropped my hands around my waist. "We are never going to see eye to eye on much of anything ever. We are never going to get along, we are never going to like each other. I think that you're a liar and a fraud and I think your being back here and choosing to stay is for nefarious reasons. But I couldn't push you out with my bare hands if I tried and God knows how much I have."
"What the hell is your point behind all of this shit, Cheyenne?"
"That we need to start trying to pretend not to hate each other before one of us is dead and nobody gets paid. That I'm sorry for what I said to you when you first came back, and I'm sorry for this."
"Are you truly sorry for any of it?"
"No, but I'm trying. And at least I can be honest about that."
"Maybe you should try lying."
"That doesn't work for me," I replied. "You lie one time about something, you can never stop; the shit starts to build up -- fester... has the potential to make you absolutely crazy with guilt that's not worth having, at least not for me." She lifted her eyes toward the ceiling and inhaled. "Brandi and I plan to go shopping for my wedding dress soon. You're..." I swallowed hard and grit my teeth. "You're welcome to come along with us if you want."
She dropped her hands along the edge of the sink and rattled her head. "You're not in need of my advice and I know damn well you don't want it."
"No, I don't."
"Then why the invitation? Unless this is an attempt to set me up for something."
"Set you up... for what?" I asked. "We're shopping for wedding dresses, not playing Taboo. If you're not interested in coming, that's perfectly fine, but I'm trying to be the bigger person which includes being less of a bitch -- neither of which have ever been all that easy for me, as you know best."
"I do." She eyed me with a trail of skepticism before opening the freezer to place the ice trays inside. After closing the door, she
rested her hand on top of the arm and glanced at me over her shoulder. "Have you picked a date for this wedding yet?"
"We're still working on it, but I'm planning for sooner than later."
"Do you love him, Cheyenne?"
"What?"
"Love." She lowered her hand and turned to me completely. Her eyes shifted as they suddenly filled with tears. "Marriage isn't something you should take lightly, even under circumstances like this. How long are you planning to stay with this man once everyone gets their due?"
I sneered. "Have you been talking to Snake?"
"Not about this. I'm only wondering for myself because I know what it's like to get caught up with someone... to believe everything they tell you only for it to later fall apart."
"And who was that person for you?"
"It doesn't matter," she said. "Not anymore. Just think about what you're doing with Nikko beyond this money and why. Think about what he'll still expect to have from you once it's all said and officially done." She pat my arm before stepping out of the kitchen and returned to the front of the club.
I headed to Snake's office while unraveling the meaning behind her words and moved inside despite his absence, taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of his desk. I crossed my legs and bent forward, then narrowed my eyes at a bullet covered in dry blood that had been placed between the center pages of his Bible for the club. I thought to reach for it, but refrained when he rolled in behind me and slammed the door.
I jumped from my chair and turned to look him in the face while crossing my arms.
He frowned. "You look lost."
"I'm not. Where have you been?"
He pointed at the door while moving behind his desk, then plopped down in his chair and groaned. "Marleena wanted a seat at the goddamn table today."
"What the hell does that mean?" I asked, making a face as I sat back down and folded my hands. "Is she here?"
He nodded. "Nix said she was keeping him up all goddamn night with her cell, using some voice on it to beg him to come out here since she still can't talk. Bitch had to get what was left of her teeth wired shut 'til she can get 'em fixed."
