Tosho is Dead

by Opal Edgar

  All of them stared in shock. Elise looked down grimly.

  Kemsit broke the silence. “How did you get away?”

  “The guard relaxed. ’Twas extremely suspicious. I played along by pretending to hide in the cottage, they seemed to want me there. ’Twas then they dropped Sir Tosho at my feet! He was crazed. I’m afraid I might have been too forceful. He fainted. Then they tried to catch us again – ’twas enough.”

  Lil’Mon nodded thoughtfully. He had dirt up to his elbows and had amassed enough potatoes to bust my gut three or four times. He loved the mess, but there was no more need for it. He sent his smile dancing round the room. “I wish sometimes you weren’t so stubborn. If you’d all stayed put for a while, I could have told you who to watch out for. When you showed me the power thief portal, Tosho, I recognised the bottle from a campaign a few decades back amongst spirits. It asked if we knew anything about the making of that liquid and offered power as reward. Truthfully, it sounded like a scam: until you saw who sponsored it. I had to find the fliers again to be sure.”

  He unrolled a poster just as I swallowed my last bite.

  “Merlin,” we all said.

  Lil’Mon and I nodded grimly when everyone else stood stunned.

  “Great. The enemy is within,” Baas mumbled.

  Kemsit dropped a potato. It rolled to my feet stopping with a soft thunk.

  Baas noticed I wasn’t chomping away anymore. He leaped at me, fangs first. “Well don’t laze there like a plagued-poxed-greedy-bugger. You’re done – we’re getting out of here!”

  I stood up, embarrassed, “What’s the plan?”

  “Not to get caught,” Kemsit joked.

  “Seriously, we can’t tell you. Merlin knows everything you know and you broke my curse,” Lil’Mon said. “You’ll just have to trust us on this one.”

  Smart kid. Merlin laughed suddenly in my head.

  I almost jumped out of my skin. Of course he was back in my head, the psychopath! Of course he was listening in like a sly fox waiting for the hens to flutter into his trap. How could I forget his incessant chatter?

  They pushed me out through the plate sized entrance. My shoulders were difficult to get out, but once I’d forced them through, it was like peeling off wet clothes. I popped out and tried not to stumble. As soon as I found my bearings, I turned to help the next one out. Kemsit winked in the foreground, Elise waved sadly and Baas was busy wrapping a liana round the handle of Alpheus’s axe. They’d gotten it back!

  “What—” I started.

  But Kemsit slammed the basket door in my face. I stumbled further backwards. And in the blink of an eye, the burrow was gone. I couldn’t believe it. Nothing but dirt was left behind.

  Talk about friends, they’ve ditched you for good. Merlin laughed. Better run, bunny, the hunter is closing in.

  I’d lost faith in my friends before – I wasn’t doing that again, but damn was it hard not to feel like a dancing-fool-of-a-deer caught in headlights. All I had to do was to hold out long enough for them to smack me with the solution.

  You really think they’ll come back for someone as useless as you?

  I ignored him. All round were trees, trees and more trees. Some were lush and leafy, others squat and prickly, but, basically, it was all Elise. That made my heart beat faster again. I sprinted through the forest as fast as I could. I was already dead, so I didn’t have to worry about cramps and muscles tearing. Nothing could take me down.

  You are something else! Merlin laughed. I know what you’re going to do before you even signal your feet. You can’t outrun me! I can’t believe you took my words literally!

  I didn’t stop. He had a point. He was telling all his goons where to set traps. I could try turning every time I saw … an oak tree! I turned. That would make it more random. Except there were flying people out there, and they were faster. There was even a ghost that didn’t bother with dodging trees or people or souls, I shivered.

  You’re hurting yourself for nothing, Tosho, you realise that, right? I’ve got nothing better to do than plan how to get out of you. And I’m getting out, bunny.

  I knew that. Stupidly, as soon as he’d stopped talking, I’d just kind of forgotten him. I’d put him on the back burner, more focused on the smoking saucepans under my nose … I hadn’t realised until too late that he was a crazy pressure cooker about to blow up in my face. My footsteps rattled in my ears, each impact of my soles reverberating up through my bones. Too much mass. I squashed my cheeks between my palms. I was such a baby relying on others all the time to clean my mess. Ina hadn’t relied on anyone: she’d even taken other’s responsibilities onto herself. I wanted to be like that. I wanted to be reliable, dependable … useful.

  I always let everyone down. My family couldn’t even count on my salary anymore. I was dead.

  I shook myself. So what if I was dead? Everyone here was dead too.

  But I didn’t know the rules.

  Again, so what? Those were just pathetic excuses. I didn’t do violence? How naive had I been? Did I really think that by being passive I could stop the bad things in the world? Being the opposite of my father certainly wasn’t enough. All I had accomplished was getting killed. How had that helped anyone? It was time to act.

  Being on the fence was criminal. Now I knew who the enemy was, the solution was simple. I had to get rid of Merlin. And for that, I needed Bartholomew’s sword back.

  Merlin laughed hard in my head. So hard he choked. I could almost see his long hands slapping his knee and his legs folding over to let him roll on the ground. I was the biggest cosmic joke. I was a skin-suit trying to run free. That’s what he thought.

  My legs kept going. The last place I’d seen Alpheus and the sword was in front of the cottage. That’s where I needed to be. Rope ladders and bridges swung in the canopy ahead. I wasn’t far.

  And who do you think you’ll find there? Merlin asked.

  ***

  Mountains of clay walked round the village. About 30 of them trampled the place with their giant feet. Their heads towered over the cottage. They formed a loose circle round the Oracle. His cape flapped in the wind, even though there wasn’t any. He liked his clichés. His armour shone painfully bright in the sunlight. And, to make it completely hopeless, he stood on the aquarium containing Alpheus. I hiked my sunglasses higher to cover my eyes.

  Alpheus smacked into the unbreakable glass, over and over. His mane floated about his face, inflating and deflating as he moved, like a jellyfish. Cold determination froze his face. To someone who never gave up: it would yield, eventually.

  Ready to go? Merlin asked.

  I gritted my teeth. I was ready to die, for real this time. He snickered.

  “I’m not going anywhere without dragging you with me,” I grumbled.

  I walked into the lush grass of the clearing, openly showing myself to the Oracle. He smiled and jumped off the aquarium. A crater formed where he landed. Dirt stuck to the smooth glass surface. It quivered with each of Alpheus’s strikes. The Oracle’s beard glittered like gold threads, and maybe they were. He was the type of guy to stick gold on his face and sneeze diamonds if he could, smug devil.

  “Well this is no fun,” he said. “I thought you were putting up a fight!”

  “Sadist.”

  The Oracle left gold traces on the dirt he trod on. I wanted to smack my face in exasperation. Why not fireworks exploding from his back while he was at it? He should have worn a top hat and a red tailcoat, and paraded round calling himself the Ringmaster.

  Merlin sniggered.

  “Well, it was just a question of time,” the Oracle said. “You already had your warning. You were bound to do more nonsense soon.”

  I didn’t have to look at the tattoo he’d branded onto me to remember. Giving a hand to Sedan had been a big mistake. I shook my head.

  “You mean, I don’t get more than one warning?”

  The Oracle looked down on me. “Why should you? The warning is there to make sure you k
now the rule. Once you do, you have no excuse for violating it a second time. No meddling with the living. Now come here, this little game has gone on long enough.”

  “I’m not giving myself up,” I said. “I’m here to tell you Merlin will betray you the first chance he gets. You certainly won’t get all he promised, and he’ll stab you in the back as soon as he can. I know: he’s in me.”

  The Oracle laughed. “And you think I won’t betray him the first chance I get?”

  He kept on advancing, but I stood my ground.

  “He heard you,” I said.

  “Well I’m certainly counting on it!” the Oracle replied. “It’s your warning, Merlin dear, after this little show, prepare your duelling pistols.”

  Laugh while you can, fishstick, Merlin grumbled in my head. The Oracle tried grabbing my arm but I shoved him backwards with a kick. I was careful not to touch his hand or any uncovered skin. I wasn’t sure how his power worked, but skin contact had spelt enough trouble already.

  “You’re an idiot. Merlin’s already planning something, he’s laughing at you so hard,” I said.

  The Oracle frowned. “Is he now?”

  I couldn’t believe that had worked. I just needed him to back away from the situation. Merlin couldn’t use the ghost on me: a ghost could hurt him, after all, it fed on souls, didn’t it? So the Oracle was his most powerful weapon. If I got rid of the goldfish, the golems went away too. The Oracle faced me square on. I hiked my sunglasses back up. His skin glittered and shone like a holy icon.

  “You’re maturing fast, learning from your Jiminy Cricket,” he said, “but, you know, I take care of myself just fine.”

  He drew up his hand and a giant clay fist punched out from under my feet. I darted backwards as a golem tore itself out of the ground. Hell! The entire clearing rumbled. I jittered back towards the painting field of Alpheus. The Oracle laughed like a madman as monstrous clay arms and bodies grappled out from every centimetre of earth. The tight vines, grass patches and knotted roots, all ripped to let them out. Plants were swallowed by mud and sand and dirt and tar pits.

  Check mate, sweetheart, Merlin whispered in my head.

  As one, the stone bodies all turned to me. My heart raced to my throat, stuck there. There were hundreds of them as tall as three-storey buildings. I couldn't even see the cottage anymore. A grey golem hoisted the Oracle onto its head so he could tower over everything.

  This was my last chance before I become one of those things.

  I dashed between the legs of the golem in front. The clay blobs jumped on it. They smashed together, heads melding into one, with arms exploding off and leg pillars shattering under the weight. It collapsed just after I got through. I kept going, charging through any gap. There were no rules: some golems could melt into one another, while others shattered on impact. They were all made of different materials: more or less dense, friable, fluid or sticky. The Oracle yelled instructions, but there were so many that they got in each other’s way.

  Two giants slammed together behind me. Too close. They got hold of my shoe! I kicked out but stone grew on the leather, sucking my foot into the clay. Already the golem in front had joined its fists together. It became a perfectly round boulder. I saw the wrecking ball get higher and higher ready to pulp me. My fingers fumbled with my shoelace, spasming in horror. The lace broke, the boulder fell. I leaped. It crashed and opened a chasm next to my ankle. I was whirled away, thrust by the wave of grit. Rock hammers broke over my head as each golem attempted to squash me as I flew by.

  Watch out, damn it! Merlin growled. I need that body!

  A victory cry escaped me as I caught hold of a golem’s leg. I climbed up its flank. The others smashed it to gravel right under my feet. I hopped from one fist to the next, barely escaping each punch. If I got clipped, bones would break and that would be the end.

  I danced up to a golem’s head – it exploded under my feet, attacked by three clay giants. I tumbled to the next one, fighting to keep my balance. This was just a game of leapfrog. The Oracle raged as each golem missed, one after the other, and their heads burst under my bounces.

  Bounce. Bounce. Bounce.

  My socked foot slipped.

  A ramming pole almost got me in the gut. I barely caught the neck of my attacker and dangled there like a party necktie. I caught sight of something swinging towards me in my peripheral vision and let go. Pulverised sand rained down. I ran.

  He’s going to the aquarium, damn it! How incapable are you! Merlin yelled in my head.

  “Block!” the Oracle screamed almost immediately.

  The golems whooshed forth, a muddy tidal wave, building a massive wall between me and the aquarium. It kept going up, higher and higher, as the golems formed blocks and stretched. It was as if they were trying to eat the sky. A laugh strangled my throat. Tears pricked my face like salt daggers. The trees all round me lay drooping on the ground, once again shredded. Bits of torn rope ladders dangled in the branches. Leaves were scattered everywhere like dead confetti, slowly sinking into the bog created by the golems.

  A wall faced me.

  How ironic. I knew walls all right. The Oracle gleamed at its centre. His face grew as the wall stretched up, the cement turning to gold. I could scratch mortar … but metal? Gold was soft, so maybe I could. I stretched my hands out. My fingers hovering millimetres away. Merlin held his breath. The smallest of sighs and I froze. Was touching this wall going to strip me of my mind? I backed away quickly.

  This is torture, Merlin raged. You’ve done it, I’ve called the real muscle.

  Up on the wall, a tiny speck stood. It jumped off. It wasn’t a showy move, just getting down. Of course, he was hundreds of metres up, that always gets people’s attention. The face was hidden by the hood of a forest green cape. He had the body of a worker, solid, and yet there was no impact when he touched the ground. Not even the smallest blade of grass rippled as he walked. The wind went right through him to sweep the lawn. It was as if he didn’t exist.

  I took another step backwards. “Are you the ghost?”

  No answer. He kept getting closer. I kept backing away.

  “What are you going to do to me?”

  A chain dangled from his wrist. Not a chain: handcuffs. They quivered with every step. Was that for me?

  “I don’t think so!” I yelled.

  I ran off towards the forest, aiming for the fallen trees. There were plenty of places to hide. I didn’t think. I just panicked. Merlin laughed. Merlin always laughed.

  The trees were far. It almost looked like they were getting further away. Wait, no. I was the one being slow. It was like running in thickening tar. I looked down. Nothing stuck to my shoe and sock. But I could hardly lift my legs. I threw a quick glance back. The ghost hovered towards me. He didn’t hurry. He didn’t have to. I was so damn slow.

  The smell of the bog was growing unbearable. Under my feet the ground itself became dull and friable as it dried up. It puffed up with every step. My muscles hurt: I’d pushed myself too hard with the golems. That had to be it. I felt heavy. But, damn it, what was that smell? Like rotten meat.

  Idiot! Stop running, Merlin ordered.

  As if! Something oozed down my pant leg. The ghost was getting closer. I could feel it. I ground my teeth and pushed myself harder. My joints made strange popping sounds. I fell sideways, hitting the ground with a soft putty squelch. My hands were a mouldy blue green. That’s when I realised the smell was coming from me, just like the ooze – I was rotting. I yelled.

  Idiot. Merlin sighed.

  The ghost didn’t even need a touch to steal the power out of me.

  A golem picked me up. I didn’t have any energy left to fight. He could have scraped me into a jug and poured me out like pancake batter.

  The golem wall shifted and reformed. Blocks dropped down and assembled into a room round us. It was very similar to the Oracle’s castle. That was handy: wherever he had his army, he had his home. I was dropped onto an altar-like table. D
amn showy bastard. I was the human sacrifice to some pagan witch Sabbath. They even had a creepy invisible choir singing psalms.

  One aquarium was there: Alpheus banging inside. Power thieves sat behind the tank, long capes covering them so not even a foot came into view. There might have been more of them in the rest of the room, but I couldn’t turn to see with my back on the altar. Varhoura was long gone.

  Another large group of black clad power thieves came in. They deployed in a large formation, making a great circle round Alpheus and me. They must have sat down because they disappeared from my view. I heaved, trying to get on my side to see what was going on. This required so much energy. My shoulder swung up, up, up, but no. Not enough momentum. I collapsed again onto my back. A dozen voices joined the chorus. Chills ran through me.

  I pushed with my hip once more. Up, up and, there, I was on my side! But, I was falling forwards. Too much momentum. I kept going, rolling. I couldn’t stop the corner of the stone from clipping my ear. My weight did the rest. I tumbled off the slab. It hurt to fall without hands or feet to hold me back. My body screamed in agony as it squished against the floor … or not the floor. I had landed on white silk.

  I squinted at it, and followed the panel of fabric up. It was attached to Kemsit’s arm. My jaw dropped. My backup was tightly wrapped and ordered in a neat row.

  No!

  Lil’Mon winked at me, as jovial as ever. He didn’t care about the two dozen power thieves sitting all round us muttering chants under their breath.

  “Fancy seeing you here,” Kemsit joked.

  I’d landed, wedged loosely, between Kemsit and Baas. He was behind me so I couldn’t confirm it with my eyes, but the enraged aura coming from him petrified me.

  “I think we’re toast. Those magician thieves just locked us in a power vacuum,” Lil’Mon said.

  “They’re sucking our power already?” I panicked.

  “No, no. Not yet. Only the ghost can do that fully.” Lil’Mon smiled. “They are just stopping us from using our abilities until they are ready to proceed.”

  “Don’t talk,” Baas cut in.