Unequivocally, Blindly, Yours

by B. Love

  Unequivocally, Blindly, Yours

  B. Love

  Prolific Pen Pusher

  Copyright © 2020 by B. Love

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Epilogue

  22. The End

  Cheers to this… my 100th book.

  Thank you, readers, for taking 100 journeys with me and helping me live my dreams.

  I dedicate this book to every person who has a dream. One day, I got tired of making someone else rich while my own dreams and passions suffered. September, 2015, I placed all bets on me and submitted to Ambiance Books. Almost five years and 100 books later… I can honestly say that was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

  Believe in you, before you expect anyone else to. Only then will you be able to soar.

  Chapter 1

  Reina

  Tears welled up within Reina’s eyes. Yet another failed audition. No one would ever doubt her talent. Reina was an amazing ballet dancer. But it didn’t seem to matter how much she perfected her craft; Reina was constantly overlooked. Sometimes she thought it was because of her background, and other times she was sure it was because of her race.

  Reina dreamed of being the first African American prima ballerina to star in multiple ballets in America and all over the world. She didn’t just try to land spots in ballets in her hometown of Memphis, Tn, but she traveled to New York, Louisiana, and California as well. She didn’t have the financial ability to go outside of the country for schools and shows, and at this point, her pockets were too thin to even leave the state.

  Releasing a sigh, Reina rested her head on the headrest of her car as the tears began to slide down her cheeks. No one would ever make her doubt her gift, but every time she was rejected for a school, audition, or show, Reina lost a little more faith. With a quick swipe to her cheeks, Reina wiped her tears away and opened her eyes.

  Her head hung low, chin almost touching her chest. Wincing at the feel of the sharp pain shooting through her chest, Reina opened the door to her 2000 Toyota Camry. She’d had it for about three months after having to voluntarily surrender the 2019 one she’d gotten herself for her twenty-first birthday last April. In the beginning, it was easy for Reina to make the payments on the car.

  She spent the bulk of her time dancing, so her schedule didn’t leave much room for work. Besides, Reina didn’t want to get caught up in the trap of working to make someone else rich while her dreams suffered. Reina was totally okay with cleaning a couple of houses every week to make enough money to take care of her expenses and do for her younger brothers. The money she made didn’t allow her to have a lavish lifestyle, but it would do.

  It kept her hungry.

  Made her hustle.

  That car was the first and biggest material item she’d invested in for herself. She’d been able to keep up with the note and insurance for less than a year before having to give it back. And it wasn’t because of herself. It was almost a requirement. If she wanted to stay with her mother, she had to help with the bills and take care of her younger siblings. In which case, her three brothers were more like her children. Their mother didn’t work, instead, drawing welfare and disability for an accident that caused her to have back pain from an old job years ago.

  Truthfully, Laditra, her mother, could have been working and taking care of her family. She simply had gotten lazy and didn’t want to. Now, that burden fell on Reina’s shoulders since her older sister, Carisma, had moved out.

  After locking the door, Reina walked up the cracked walkway towards the porch. As much as she hated living with her mother, she adored their home and her brothers. Built over one hundred years ago, their house had character. All it took was a little renovation and it would be perfect. Reina tried to keep the house up as best as she could, but with two, wild younger brothers running around and a mother who barely lifted her hand to clean a thing, that was a bit hard to do.

  Reina started to sit on the porch for a while to avoid her mother, but she decided it was best to go ahead and get this over with. There was no doubt in her mind that when her mother found out she didn’t land a paid job today she would threaten to put her out. Laditra made it clear that Reina was allowing her dream to ruin their reality. As a dark brown skinned girl, from the hood of Memphis no less, there were just some opportunities that she’d be overlooked for.

  What Laditra considered tough love was a lack of support in Reina’s eyes. Hell, a lack of unconditional love too. Laditra may have said she loved her daughter, but Reina sure as hell didn’t feel it.

  Inhaling a deep breath, Reina keyed in the code needed to unlock the front door. After hearing the latch click, she opened the door and stepped inside. As soon as she did, the sound of her youngest brother’s yelling made her head throb. More than likely, her second youngest brother was terrorizing and chasing him around the house. He’d been on a wrestling kick for the past six months that was driving everyone in the house crazy.

  The living room was empty, so Reina made her way to the dining room. It didn’t surprise her to find the oldest son in the family, Rico, sitting at the table with his head buried in his phone. Out of all of her brothers, Reina worried about Rico most. He had that rebel spirit that Carisma did. Except, Rico wouldn’t have the liberty of leaving the house after he graduated high school and be taken care of by a rich woman.

  That had been Carisma’s fate. Well… luck. For the past five years, she’d been enjoying the lavish life as the kept woman of one of Atlanta’s elite moguls. At least twice a year, Carisma invited Reina to come and live with them until she could get on her feet. At least twice a year Reina declined. If she did, who in the hell would take care of and nurture her brothers?

  “Hey,” she spoke, leaning against the wall.

  She didn’t have to get close to smell the weed. Rico wouldn’t admit it, but he was selling it. Laditra wouldn’t try to make him stop, either. She didn’t give a damn about her seventeen-year-old son putting his life and freedom on the line as long as he put some money in her pockets. And there was no doubt in Reina’s mind that the moment he graduated his street life would be his ticket out.

  “What’s up, sis? How did the audition go?” Rico looked up from his phone in time enough to see Reina shake her head. With a sigh, he stood and pulled his older sister into his arms. “It’s okay, sis. You’ll get it next time.”

  Nodding, Reina released a shaky breath. She’d already cried once and didn’t plan on doing it again.

  “Thanks, baby boy. How was school?”

  “Ray,” Laditra yelled from upstairs, causing Reina to roll her eyes immediately as Rico released her.

  “She on one today, sis,” Rico warned as he sat back down.

  “Just my fucking luck,” Reina grumbled, running her hand down the back of her neck.

  She turned and headed out of the dining room, jumping back as Wykeem chased Bentley down the hall.

&nbs
p; “Aye! Stop all that running in this house before you break your neck.” Reina sucked her teeth as soon as she gave the order with another roll of her eyes. Her brothers never listened when she told them to stop until she physically made them do so.

  Heading up the slim, creaking stairway, Reina said a silent prayer for strength. Her mother had a way of getting under her skin effortlessly. Maybe it had to do with the fact that Laditra downplayed what Reina was most passionate about. Whatever the case, Laditra’s attitude made it hard for Reina to like and tolerate her on most days.

  Turning to the left at the top of the stairs, Reina went into her mother’s room. She was in the sunroom, smoking a cigarette in her rocking chair. There was a small Bluetooth speaker on the white bench attached to the window that was connected to her phone. The sound of Al Green smoothly permeated the room.

  “Hey, Ma,” Reina spoke softly, closing the door of the sunroom behind her.

  “How did your lil audition go?”

  Swallowing hard, Reina counted to three before answering.

  “I didn’t get the part. They went with someone else.”

  Laditra chuckled with a shake of her head. She tapped her cigarette along the rim of the ashtray. “Let me guess, a young skinny white girl huh?”

  “Actually, no. She was younger than me, but she wasn’t white.”

  “What was she?”

  “I don’t know, Ma. She looked French maybe. Italian. I don’t know.”

  Laditra’s head tilted as she slowed her rocking in the chair. Her back was still to Reina, and she’d made no effort to turn and face her daughter.

  “So you missed out on a day of work for nothing? You know the rules, Ray. You sleep under this roof and you’re over eighteen you got to put in on the bills.”

  “I know that, Ma,” Reina gritted. Nostrils flaring, she inhaled a deep breath and leaned against the door. Her feet were killing her, and all she wanted to do was soak in the tub and listen to some good music. “I work. I help with the bills. And I watch my brothers. All I ask for is the freedom to pursue my dream.”

  Finally, Laditra turned in her chair, and Reina hated that she did. The hardened expression on her face made Reina’s heart drop. Dark eyes stared back at her. Laditra’s lips were tight. Jaw locked.

  “Your dream has me broke. I’ve let you chase this dream for four damn years, girl. What was our agreement?”

  Clutching her stomach as it began to flip, Reina swallowed the vile taste that filled her mouth. She nibbled on her cheek as she avoided her mothers glare. Laditra stood and walked over to her. Even with Reina being a full four inches taller than her mother, Laditra stared up at Reina with no fear in her heart.

  “What was our agreement, Ray?”

  Looking down at her mother, Reina rocked from the tips of her toes to the heels of her feet. Crossing her arms in a protective huddle, she smiled with one side of her mouth.

  “That if I didn’t save enough money for school or land a major dancing gig by my birthday that I would work a real, full-time job, but, Ma…”

  “No buts, Reina,” Laditra interrupted, pointing her finger in Reina’s face. “You need to call Mr. Thomas and tell him to put you on the calendar full time or find a job somewhere else. Either way, you need to be working a real damn job with real hours come Monday morning.”

  As if she was done with the conversation, Laditra turned and walked back over to her rocking chair.

  “I know that was the deal, but I can’t honor that. My dream is too important to me. It’s hard for me to save for school because all the money I make gets put towards the house.”

  “So now it’s my fault that you haven’t made something of yourself?” Laditra scoffed as she picked her cigarette back up. “Pack your shit and get your lazy ass the fuck out my house, Ray.”

  Reina’s eyebrows lifted. Head tilted, as if she was listening to a second song that only she could hear. At first, her mouth clamped tightly, but her jaw went slack the moment her shoulders drooped, and heart dropped.

  “What did you say?”

  She’d heard her mother, but she hoped getting her to repeat herself would cause Laditra to have a change of heart. Quite frankly, Reina would have loved to leave – if she had money – and when she could take her brothers with her. The last thing she wanted to do was leave them alone to fend for themselves. Rico had already detached from his mother and hardened his heart, but Wykeem and Bentley still needed her.

  “I said get out my damn house.”

  “I don’t have any money saved, Ma. Where am I supposed to go?”

  “Shit, I don’t know. Have your bougie ass sister fly you to Atlanta.”

  Reina chuckled as her anger began to rise. Cupping her cheeks, she inhaled a deep breath and rocked from her toes to her heels.

  “I’m not leaving my brothers.”

  “You don’t have a choice. Get out, Ray. Now.”

  The calmness of Laditra’s tone rocked Reina to her core. Her mind was made up. Reina knew then that no matter what she came home and said, this would still have been the outcome.

  She sniffled, then turned and left, needing to leave as quickly as she possibly could. Her room was closest to her mothers, so it didn’t take long for her to make it inside. Slamming the door behind her, Reina leaned against it as her chest heaved. Her eyes blurred from tears, but they weren’t sad tears. They were angry tears. She slid down the door and buried her face in her hands to keep from crying out.

  While Reina tried to be understanding of her mother’s bitterness, it was hard. She made it a point to remind them at least once a week that this was never the life she signed up for. Laditra had never wanted kids. In fact, she only had them to appease her then husband. Unfortunately for them, it took more than having his children to keep their father around. He ended up leaving their mother, and she’d been holding them accountable ever since.

  Not only had she been stuck with five kids that she didn’t want to begin with, but she’d missed out on her dreams of becoming a model and actress as well. For whatever reason, Laditra felt as if there was a timeframe on her success, and having children put her past the expiration date. And the fact that Reina was young, beautiful, talented, and living her dreams drove a wedge between her and her mother that she tried her hardest to fix.

  But that was beyond her control.

  It had never been a problem for her to fix because it wasn’t one that she created.

  Standing to her feet, Reina released a heavy breath and ran her hand down the back of her neck. Packing only what she could fit in her rolling luggage, duffle bag, and backpack, Reina trekked down the stairs without giving her mother’s room so much as a glance. She called her brothers into the living room as she placed her bags at the door. Rico was the first to enter, and his face twisted up immediately at the sight of her bags. Smiling bitterly, Reina looked away to avoid letting any tears fall.

  “Come on now, Ray. Don’t tell me you about to leave me too.”

  Reina looked at him as she adamantly shook her head. “I don’t have a choice,” she almost whispered, inhaling a shaky breath. “She put me out.” Reina’s chuckled as her tears finally began to fall.

  “What? Are you fucking serious?”

  “Aye.” Reina wiped her face, poking her chest out as she held her head high. “Watch your mouth, baby boy.” Wykeem and Bentley ran into the living room and rushed over to her. “I need you to be strong. It’s fucked up that I gotta put this weight on you, but I need you to look out for them until I can work something out.”

  Rico’s head tilted and shook. She cupped his cheek and forced him to look at her.

  “Stay out of trouble and finish school strong. The higher your GPA the more money you can get to get the hell out of here, aight?”

  Looking down at her, Rico nodded. She gave him a tight hug before looking from Wykeem to Bentley. After giving them both kisses she promised, “I’ll be back for y’all soon. All will be well. And I will give y’all the life I nev
er had.”

  “Get the hell away from my kids. Sick of you treatin’ them like they yours.” Reina’s eyes lifted to the stairs where Laditra was standing. Her left hand was at her side with her cigarette dangling while the right hand clutched her long, thick cotton robe.

  Ignoring her mother, Reina returned her attention to Rico.

  “Remember what I said, baby boy.”

  With a nod, Rico pulled her into his arms and gave her a tight hug. It was almost enough to make her break, but Reina told herself to be strong for them in this moment. If she wanted to sob in the car that was cool, but she had to stay strong for them.

  Laditra waited until Reina released Rico to tell her, “Leave your key on the table, and the code for the keypad will be changed tonight.” As Reina pulled the key from her chain off, Laditra told her brothers, “And y’all bet not give her the new code either. Or I’ll change it again and none of y’all will have it.”

  After giving them all a smile, Reina grabbed her bags and headed out. She put her bags in the backseat, then got inside of her car and started it. Not pulling out right away, Reina checked her wallet and cursed under her breath. She had one twenty, a five, and three one dollar bills. There was forty-seven dollars in her bank account, which was probably enough to get her a night and a half at a hoe hotel.

  Reversing out of the driveway, Reina tried to come up with her next move. She was too ashamed to crash at her friend’s place, and none of her family really fucked with her because of her mother’s horrible attitude. It didn’t take long for her to go from Midtown Memphis to Downtown Memphis. Reina didn’t want to drive too far because she was low on gas, but she usually drove to clear her mind. Something was leading her back to Clutch, the lounge she’d auditioned at earlier, and she didn’t know why until she saw the line that was wrapped around the building.