Ollie

by Ian Holloway

  We had an open-top bus tour but when it arrived to pick us up, there was a bloody brass band (including Helen Chamberlain off Soccer AM’s dad) sitting upstairs! We couldn’t believe it – had they expected the players and our families to sit downstairs while the band played on? Only Rovers could plan an open-top bus tour from the lower deck. I started moaning and got up a bit of a mutiny and eventually they got another bus for us to go on with the band following behind. That was followed by the worst planned do ever, with both Rovers and City invited to a civic reception with the mayor where we were presented with our championship medals. The City lads didn’t get anything and it was embarrassing and humiliating because the only people there to applaud us were the City players. It went down like a lead balloon and Joe Jordan was the only person who stood there and clapped. In fact, a policeman I knew told me Joe had been something else during the derby at Twerton. He’d had his own fans spitting on him and hurling abuse at him and he just shouted, “They deserve this, don’t you spoil it for them.” He refused to be shouted down and while we were all jumping around in the dressing room after the game, he came in and shook everyone’s hand – the dignity that man showed in defeat was unbelievable and I shall never forget that.

  After the bus tour, we came back in and Gerry gave us a right bollocking! “You think that’s it? I want winners and I don’t want you to think you’re champions, we’ve got to play Tranmere yet. I can smell an atmosphere and I don’t like it, so you’re gonna run.”

  And boy, did he run us. We had two weeks before the final and the first four days of the first week he ran us into the ground. He said, “I’ve played at Wembley and it’s the biggest pitch you’ll ever play on in your lives and you’ve got to be fitter than you’ve ever been to close them down the way I want you to.” Coming off the euphoria of winning the title, I think we would have been fine if we’d done our normal routine, and I think Gerry got things a bit wrong on that occasion.

  We’d had an exhausting league season and the extra running meant that we ran out of steam in the final, despite going 1-0 down and pulling it back to 1-1. Normally, I think we’d have gone on and won because it was almost engrained in our psyche at that point, but we had nothing left and eventually lost 2-1. I think Gerry got that one wrong. It was a disappointing way to end a memorable year and with 32,000 Rovers fans inside Wembley, we all felt a little flat when it was all over, but considering we only had a 16-man squad and sold our two best players, we’d not done badly, had we? Better still, the fans voted me their Player of the Year which I was absolutely made up about.

  Family life was as hectic as ever but one particular day, when the girls were about six months old, Kim called me in to see her in the nursery. Chloe was in her cot and Kim said, “Watch this.” She was saying ‘Da-da’ to Chloe and Chloe was mouthing the words, but not actually saying them, which seemed strange. The girls could laugh and cry like any normal babies, but their screams were very high-pitched, which again suggested something wasn’t quite right. It began to make us wonder and we started to notice other things, too. They played differently, too, and would pass toys to each other and pass them back again and looking back, they were learning to communicate in their own way without making noises.

  We were in the middle of house renovations and were having some major work done in the kitchen on one occasion. The bloke who was fitting some new units knew the girls were asleep in the room next door and he asked if we wanted him to wait before he began drilling. We told him to carry on and despite the noise, which was bloody loud, they slept through without even stirring. I put it down to over-tiredness, but Kim had a mother’s instinct that the girls had a problem.

  We took them for a hearing test where electrodes were attached so they could see what brain activity there was when certain noises were made, and eventually, having failed those tests, though not conclusively because it was hard to tell with them being so small, a lady who worked for the Hearing Impairment Team, called Sue Horne, came out to our house to assess the girls. She told us that, in her opinion, the girls at best had a severe hearing problem, but it was more likely they were profoundly deaf.

  I asked her how she could be sure and she said, “Well watch this.” She got a large bell out of her bag while the girls were playing on the floor with their back to us. Sue rang the bell and it was that loud it hurt our ears – but the girls didn’t even flinch or look around. It was hard to take in and I wanted her to be wrong, even though deep down she was only confirming what we’d suspected. I questioned certain things and said that whenever I came into a room, they always looked around or seemed to know I was coming. Sue said they were just feeling the vibrations on the floor and they were learning to rely more on slight draughts or temperature changes, seeing shadows and reflections and so on, to know someone was coming. To confirm the girls were deaf, shortly after Sue’s visit we went for a thorough hearing test that would conclusively prove the level of their hearing capabilities. The results proved the twins were, as she’d said, profoundly deaf. It was odd being told that, because we wondered what that actually meant for us. We were advised to find out all we could about deafness and decide how we wanted to teach language to our girls because there were several ways it could be done and probably no two families are exactly the same, though sign language is obviously the most common.

  We felt we needed to communicate with them as quickly as possible and we decided to learn everything we could. Kim was incredible, as ever, and devoured book after book, because we felt we were playing catch up and needed to teach them a language quickly. They were now 14 months old and though they were communicating in their own way between themselves, we needed to unlock the door for everyone else, and sign language was the way forward.

  Eve and Chloe would have severe tantrums and it was all down to them not being able to get across what it was they wanted to say. If we thought they wanted a drink and got out the milk when they wanted juice, they’d go down on the floor and start screaming and kicking because we hadn’t understood them properly. It must have been unbelievably frustrating for them.

  We were starting from scratch, too, and it was like learning English before you could talk to your children. We started with the basics like the sign alphabet and then moved on to animals, numbers, shapes and so on. There are guidelines, but there can be family variations unique to your household, too. It was fascinating, and deaf teachers would come to the house to help us learn sign language. We agreed to be part of a study from Bristol University for several weeks because we thought it could only help things move along, but though they videoed us and did various other things connected to their research, we didn’t actually get that much feedback so it didn’t really help us at all. We learned quite a few things off one of the team members called Jenny – on a personal level – and she’s remained a good family friend to this day.

  We had to learn to think in pictures, because that’s what our girls did. They don’t see or think of words as they communicate, they just think of images and how they will sign them. From our part, talking and signing don’t really go together and you should really do just one or the other. There were three different languages – British Sign Language (BSL), Sign Supported English, where you talk and support it with sign, and English.

  We needed to teach them that a bird was a particular sign, then show them how to read lips by saying ‘bird’ and then writing it down so they could read it. If we could manage that, they’d have half a chance of understanding, though whether they’ll ever actually hear the word as we do is another thing all together. It was going to be tough for all of us, but at least we were on our way. The whole of Kim’s family and mine began to learn the basics of sign, and as our friends got to grips, each person would have their own way of communicating.

  Gerry Francis came to the house one day and said hello to the twins and then sort of froze, realising he’d said hello to deaf kids as if he’d committed some kind of capital
offence. Phil Kite couldn’t sign but he had his own way of greeting the twins and he’d pick them up, twirl them around or do something visual that worked in his eyes. I was getting a lot of things wrong and basics such as discipline were totally different with the girls compared to William.

  You’d only have to raise the tone of your voice to Wills and he knew I was serious but that would never work on the girls because they couldn’t hear you. They’d do things to wind me up because they thought it was hilarious, and when I’d start to tell them off they’d just cover their eyes. We had to do things in a different way and that meant learning new methods that would prove effective. I saw one lady at the hospital who was fantastic. I was having a beast of a time in all honesty and needed guidance, and while I was talking to this woman the twins were playing up, grabbing my legs, and I said “Help! I don’t know what to do!” She said, “Watch,” and got down to their level and used sign to say, “Stop – daddy’s talking.” They looked shocked and she asked if I’d let William get away with that, which of course I wouldn’t. She had a room next door with a two-way mirror and we put the girls in there and walked out. She told me to watch what happened. “They’re only acting up for your benefit,” she said, and she predicted everything they would do next and got everything spot-on. She told me they were acting up just for me and said they’d come and find me and then start acting naughtily again. A few moments later they came in and started rolling around on the floor and whingeing again and the woman said, “It’s your fault they are like this because you are rewarding bad behaviour.”

  We had to try and introduce hearing aids into their lives, too, which wasn’t easy and really tough to begin with. We had to decide whether we wanted to keep the girls’ deafness a private matter or share it with the world and ultimately we decided to share it in the hope it might make others more deaf-aware. There were so many things we discovered connected to deafness and one of the most perplexing things for me was that depending on where you lived throughout the country depended on how your deaf child would get taught – and the authorities ask you your opinion about that when we are not qualified to give an opinion. When you discover your child is deaf you are confused and not sure where to turn, so when a so-called expert asks what you think should happen next, it doesn’t actually help that much.

  One thing we did learn was that the visual side of the girls’ perception was fantastic and what that actually means is that your kids spot every little idiosyncrasy that each human being on this planet has and they mimic them. If they aren’t careful, it’s so obvious who they are talking about it’s unbelievable! We’d never be able to play charades with them, that’s for sure, but gradually, we noticed the girls seemed to be getting happier because now they knew that their previous methods of communication hadn’t worked either, so now if they wanted a drink of juice, they’d grab your hand, take us to the fridge and point. The frustration was still there but we were all learning now and life was going to be a lot better from the moment their deafness was confirmed. We were cooking on gas, it was just that the knob was turned on full power!

  Chapter 11: Capital Gain

  There was yet more speculation about Gerry leaving before the start of the 1990/91 season, but he wanted to see the job through and see how far he could take us, and we all enjoyed going to places like West Ham, Sheffield Wednesday, Wolves, Portsmouth, Watford, Newcastle United and Ipswich. The standard was obviously much higher but we held our own, finishing in mid-table, and I played in every league game that season, scoring seven times. In the spring of that season we had another piece of fantastic news – Kim was pregnant again – bloody hell! From being told we probably wouldn’t have any kids, we’d gone to having three in three years with No 4 on the way – four little miracles, rascals, call them what you will, but this would complete our little family unit while probably condemning Kim and I to the asylum at the same time. We were very happy, though poor Kim must have felt she’d actually been pregnant for the best part of four years.

  I’d reached the end of the season but things were starting to turn a little sour. There was a fight at the Player of the Year do when things got completely out of hand, and it was the beginning of the end of the team spirit we’d built. Devon White had been stabbed by a neighbour during the season and the club was rumoured to have bought his house to get him out of the area he was living in, which you’d hope they would, but some people didn’t like that. There was a lot of jealousy and rumours of an in-crowd suggesting that Gerry had rewarded his favourites with new deals, but not others – it was all bullshit and it got a bit stupid. I think it stemmed from some of the wives making mischief and it culminated with Gerry having to physically throw Devon out of this awards do and telling him to get out of the way and cool down, because Devon had been furious at something that had been said, and you didn’t want a giant like that losing his temper when our fans were present as well. One of the wives had told one of the others to fuck off and everything just snowballed from there. It was all about who was getting what and who wasn’t – it was pathetic and the cracks were beginning to show. Gerry could see that and not long after, he left to take the manager’s job at QPR, where he was still a revered figure. I was out of contract and getting pissed off because nothing seemed to be moving forward. Martin Dobson, the ex-Evatt on midfielder had taken over at Rovers but things weren’t going to be the same anymore and I wasn’t convinced I wanted to work for him after a couple of clashes with him. Gerry had also privately promised he was going to come back and get me depending on where he ended up, and said if he was in my shoes, he wouldn’t sign a new deal with Rovers. He told me I was better than their offer and I knew a few players who’d been brought in were earning more than I was so I became a little anti-establishment about the whole situation. I needed to bring more in to look after my ever-increasing family and I wasn’t happy with some of the discussions I had about money with the club. One director said, “Well you’ve had all the fun and now we’ve got to pay for it.” I told him he should have had a lot of fun watching me sweat my guts out for the club each week over the years… I felt they were taking me for granted and I was reluctant to lose the momentum I’d steadily built up in my career, but when Gerry did finally come in for me, Rovers wanted too much money and he told them he couldn’t afford it. I was in limbo and moved on to a week-to-week contract, so Kim and I decided to go on holiday to Majorca for a week. We booked a late deal and asked the girl in the travel agency if the hotel was in a flat area because of the kids and the prams, but mainly because Kim was expecting. She assured us it was, but we arrived to find it was actually on the side of a bloody hill! From that point on, everything went wrong. It was too hot, the girls were suffering from glue ear and they weren’t sleeping. Glue ear is a really painful condition that made them scream in agony at night and I’d have to grab them and run out in the cool night air to help relieve their suffering a little. We were in the middle of toilet training and God-knows-what else, too. It was the archetypal holiday from hell. Kim was too tired to do anything and I was chasing them all around the edge of the pool because they were too small to swim – I was having a nightmare. The girls had learned to rip their nappies off and were peeing or dumping everywhere and I was chasing after them picking up Richard the Thirds in nappy sacks – I even had to make a dive Gordon Banks would have been proud of to keep one from landing in the pool – and we’d gone for a relaxing week away! The Holloways could never be accused of doing things by half, that’s for sure. It kept me fit, though, and I needed something because trying to get the kids asleep all at the same time during the day so I could have a run, was almost impossible. We came home feeling much more tired than before we’d left.At least our house had sold reasonably quickly. I was determined we were going to leave and I didn’t want to have the problem of selling up as well as finding my feet at a new club. We rented a house in Bristol for a brief period until finally it was time to get back for pre-season training with Rovers.
I spoke to Devon White before we went back and Dev was the most placid bloke under the sun, but he was still furious about what had happened a few weeks before at the club’s awards do, and he was going to have it out with one or two of the lads. He wasn’t going to take any shit anymore, and I thought there was going to be trouble, so I met Martin Dobson for the first time and he asked me whether or not I was going to agree a new deal. He told me his grand design for Rovers and said he was going to change the style of play and cut out the long-ball, and I said, “What do you mean? Have you seen us play? You can’t have seen us play because we play some nice stuff.” He ignored that and said he wanted me to stay, but I told him I didn’t want to and was looking to move on. I said I wouldn’t be signing anything and even if the club did offer me what I’d been asking for, I probably wouldn’t sign up on principle. Plus my heart and mind were already in Gerry’s camp at QPR, not that Dobson was aware of that. I was about to tell him about Devon White and of his intentions when he said, “I don’t care, get out.”

  “What do you mean? You’re inheriting a problem and if you don’t understand it…”

  “I’m not interested in tittle-tattle, not from someone who’s not going to be here and isn’t committed. Get out!”

  So what happens? Devon goes in and all hell breaks loose. He had words with Vaughan Jones, Ian Alexander and a couple of others, but my God, he intended to settle the issue that day. He started on Ian, and Steve Yates tried to stop him, and Dev put one arm out, pushed him away and he fell out of the dressing room, down four steps and cracked his head on the floor. I was next door and I heard it start to kick off so I ran out shouting for them to stop and then Dobson sprints over and I said to him, “Well, so much for not wanting to hear what I wanted to say. You didn’t want to listen and you could have stopped this.”