The Lion's Loyalty

by Emilia Hartley

  Van took her hand and dragged her away from the bar. She had to admit, relief filled her. Each step away from the bar made her feel lighter. She didn’t even stop to think about Van’s hand on hers. Not until they were at his truck.

  She pulled her hand out of his grip. He paused and looked back, almost as if he was hurt. She wrapped her arms around herself. Her skin ached. The memory of what it had endured stuck with her, even if the scars hadn’t.

  A moment of silence passed between them.

  “If those people, if they…abused you, then I promise I won’t touch you without your permission again.”

  Carol shook her head. “They were studying me. There were experiments they performed on me, but they didn’t…touch me like that.”

  “Oh, uh. That’s good, then. I mean, in the grand scheme of things.” He fumbled with his keys.

  The clanking sound of metal on metal made her ears ring. An ache bloomed between her eyes. She took a step back. This wasn’t going to work. All she wanted was a reprieve. A place where the sound didn’t drum at her ears, where the scents didn’t prickle her nose.

  All she had was her little apartment above the bar. Still, it was better than going out and trying to make this work. She didn’t want to be a puppet pretending to be normal. It would take too much energy. Energy she didn’t have to begin with.

  “I think I’m just going to go to bed,” she told him, turning away.

  “Bed? It’s five in the afternoon.”

  She shrugged, not knowing what to say to that. Only in her sleep could she escape the constant assault of her senses and the dread that someone was going to come for her. The dark and dreamless escape was far better than being awake.

  Van made no move to follow her. At least, it didn’t sound like it. She didn’t hear his feet on the gravel. She didn’t hear his breath as he ran to catch up to her. When she reached the bar, she glanced over her shoulder.

  Van still stood at his truck, keys dangling between his fingers. He looked lost. But, when their eyes met across the distance, he gave her a nod of approval. He tucked his keys back into his pocket and leaned against his truck.

  For a reason she couldn’t understand, she felt safer knowing he was behind her. He could watch her back, at least until she made it upstairs to her apartment. When the others looked at her like she was a contagion, Van watched her with hope in his eyes. She didn’t know what he hoped for, but it was a small light in a grey world.

  Not that she would tell him that. It would probably bring him back around again and she wasn’t ready for friends. Not until she figured out how to tame this beast hiding inside her. All she needed was a day where she felt normal. If she could manage that, then maybe there was hope for her after all.

  But normal felt long gone. All she had left were the invisible scars in her skin and the creeping dread that followed her around.

  Chapter Three

  He couldn’t imagine what she was going through. Van had been born with his beast. It had been a part of him all his life. His mind had always housed two voices, his and his beast’s. Carol, though, had been born human. She’d endured the change before coming to their pack. Then, before she could gain control over her beast, someone had taken her and hurt her over and over in the name of scientific discovery.

  Van wanted to tell her that everything would be alright, but he wasn’t sure if that would help. It was an empty promise and she would know it. He couldn’t tell her that if he didn’t know how to help her through this. All he could do was stand beside her.

  Truthfully, he hadn’t been joking that Dante was keeping a tab in her name. Food cost money. If he gave out food to his pack members, the bar would be out of business. Van understood, and that was why he’d been paying for Carol’s food. Rodrigo had chipped in a couple of times, but he didn’t make anywhere near as much as Van did.

  While Van spent a lot of time behind the bar, he also balanced the books and placed a lot of the orders that kept the bar running. Dante paid Van a manager’s salary, which allowed him to pay for Carol’s meals without batting an eyelash.

  “You didn’t follow her like I asked,” Dante said as soon as Van set foot inside.

  “I’m not going to go upstairs unless she invites me!”

  Dante shook his head. “That’s not what I mean. Carol shifted and took off. You didn’t track her. You didn’t even try to find her.”

  Van growled. Dante was being pushy. Unreasonably pushy. He didn’t understand why. This sudden desire to keep tabs on Carol all the time was what he’d expected from Dante, but his orders also seemed to carry with them a twinge of panic. Like Dante expected something bad to fall upon their heads.

  “What has you so worried?” Van asked, leaning close.

  Dante looked like he was about to explain when they heard Carol’s footsteps begin to pace again. The ceiling creaked with each step.

  “We shouldn’t talk about it here.”

  Van sighed, growing annoyed by the second. His beast rose and growled. As long as it concerned Carol, the beast would linger. It worried for their mate. The beast tried to tell him to go upstairs and be with her, but Van knew he needed to follow his alpha back outside.

  Dante unhooked one of the saddlebags on his bike and pulled the laptop out. The spray of blood over the gray surface turned Van’s stomach. It was proof that horrible things had happened, things he couldn’t undo. Van felt helpless as he stared down at the laptop.

  He was the kind of man given to thought, who planned his words and measured his actions. He made sure every sentence he spoke and every move he made brought positive change to the world. What other reason for living was there?

  Yet, he could do nothing in the face of this laptop. His face looked back at him from the dark screen, almost damning him. It accused him of being lazy. It asked him why he hadn’t asked about Carol sooner. He could have been looking for her. Then almost none of this would have happened.

  If only he’d tried.

  The laptop whirred and the screen lit up. Dante looked awkward at the little keyboard, but he eventually found the file he was looking for. It was a detailed account of everything that they’d done to Carol and the other shifters they’d grabbed.

  “Just so you know,” Dante muttered, “I’ve never put down a shifter in my time as your Alpha. I let them believe that so they have motivation to change, but it’s not something I would do. The others… they were taken by these people and I didn’t do a damn thing to stop it. Feels like their blood is on my hands still…”

  Dante’s voice trailed off. His gaze grew distant. Van leaned forward and reached to close the laptop, but Dante stopped him. He pointed to another source. Van stared at it, not quite understanding at first. When he finally realized what he was looking at, he swallowed.

  “The doctors were communicating with someone,” Van whispered.

  “The town knows who we are and that we exist, but our secret isn’t known across the country,” Dante said. “This person could expose shifters everywhere. If Carol knows who this is, she needs to tell us.”

  Van stiffened. “Don’t you think if she knew she would have told us? She’s not a traitor. Her time there was spent in a cage. They did these things to her.”

  He didn’t have the stomach to say what the doctors did. Van didn’t want to acknowledge it, because when he did, it made it very real. He wasn’t ready to face the reality of it. As long as it stayed on the laptop, then Carol could still be a normal woman. There was an opportunity for her to become a regular part of the pack, to become his mate.

  He ran his hands over his face. She wasn’t damaged goods, but he didn’t know how anyone could overcome something like this. There was no mind strong enough to process this except, perhaps, Dante’s. Even Van knew he would have crumbled if exposed to these experiments for months on end.

  Looking over his shoulder, he watched the upstairs window, hoping for a glimpse of her. He didn’t know how to help her get past all this, but he wanted to h
elp. He wanted to be there for her. Dante was asking him to be his spy and wring every last bit of information out of Carol.

  For the first time ever, Van wanted to disobey his alpha. Sure, he’d pushed his boundaries with Dante, but other than that, Van was an exemplary second in command. He listened to and trusted his alpha. But this?

  This plan to see if she would betray them bothered Van more than he let on in that moment. Carol was a victim. Not a traitor.

  “I’ll keep an eye on her,” he said.

  It wasn’t quite a lie. He wanted to be near her. Whenever she needed him, he would be there. It just so happened that it put him right where Dante wanted him. He did not tell his alpha that he didn’t plan on interrogating her. If Carol wanted to talk, he would listen, but other than that, Van wasn’t going to be his alpha’s spy.

  Dante nodded, seemingly convinced that they were on the same page. Van said nothing. He glanced at the computer one last time, clenching his jaw until his teeth ached. Then he turned back to the bar. The sun was setting, and people would soon arrive. There would be drinks to pour and fights to break up.

  As much as he wanted them to distract him, he knew his mind would be on the woman upstairs the whole time.

  ***

  She didn’t eat that night.

  Or the next morning.

  Carol worried that Van’s joke hadn’t been a joke at all. Dante was probably racking up a bill in her name every time she placed an order in the bar’s kitchen. It wasn’t like she could go to the grocery store and buy her own food. She didn’t have a job. She couldn’t get one, either.

  Her beast was still too close to the surface. A hint of fear and the creature would break free. She couldn’t work while her beast was still on edge. She could have asked Rodrigo how he managed to tame his beast, but every time she saw him, he was with the human girl again.

  Carol thought she would feel jealousy at seeing Rodrigo so wrapped up in Lily, but Carol felt nothing. Sure, she was happy for her friend, but that was it. She wasn’t angry that Lily had stolen him away from her. She wasn’t mourning the relationship she could have had with Rodrigo.

  Was this what numb truly felt like?

  The doctors had tried to find an anesthetic that worked for her, but they failed time and time again. Her body processed the drugs too fast. From one blurry moment to the next, she had drifted from delirium into the throes of pain.

  Just thinking about it made her grip her arm tight, nails digging in. The small pain reminded her that she was alive and real. This wasn’t a dream. She was truly free. No one would cage her again.

  Her stomach clenched and let out a furious growl. The beast inside her echoed the sentiment, angry that she’d eschewed two meals. The beast growled and scratched at her. It begged for food, threatening a fight if she did not give in.

  This wasn’t the place to fight her beast. She didn’t want to wreck Dante’s apartment. They would see the damage and know that she was hiding her pain, lying that she could control her beast. Carol lurched from the bed and staggered toward the door. She didn’t bother with shoes. Where she was going, she wouldn’t need them.

  But before she could take a step past the door at the base of the stairwell, she came face to face with Van again.

  “You’re insufferable,” she grunted. “Did Dante station you at my door to keep an eye on me? Does he think I’m going to snap at any moment?”

  It was obviously a possibility, but she didn’t like the lack of confidence. She could keep herself together. And she would prove it to those who doubted her.

  Until the buyer came for her. She swallowed, hit by the memory all over again. This wasn’t over. She might think that all she needed to do was tame the beast inside of her, but she kept forgetting about the buyer. He wasn’t going to give her up. He would come for her eventually.

  The words were crouched in her throat. She wanted to speak them, but they refused to move. Her beast thrashed. It demanded to be free. It would run to the ends of the earth where no one could hurt her. The wolf would keep her safe. It made the promise over and over, but she knew the truth.

  Even if she didn’t want to face it.

  “Dante said you didn’t eat last night,” Van said, oblivious to the panic swelling inside her. “I thought you would be interested in hunting down that food truck today.”

  “I’m not interested in your charity.” Carol could hardly breathe. She didn’t know how she was keeping it together. Her mouth functioned on autopilot while her heart was rocketing to the moon.

  She looked past Van, as if the buyer would appear behind him. How long until the buyer figured out where she was? Did he already know that the doctors were dead? Would he come looking for her himself? Or would he send someone more capable?

  “It’s not charity. My two best friends are busy plowing their mates. I just thought…”

  “That you would make me fill their shoes because you can’t find anyone else?”

  He cringed. “Okay, that sounded awful. That wasn’t what I meant.”

  “Keep going,” she said with a grin slowly spreading over her lips. The Van she remembered had never been so awful at communicating. He was an old man trapped in the body of a sexy lion shifter, practically a fount of wisdom, and yet he sounded like a fool before her. “I want to see how deep you can dig this hole for yourself.”

  “I apologized already.”

  She shook her head. “You didn’t, actually. All you did was acknowledge that what you said came out wrong.”

  He growled. She caught his fists clenching at his side, but there was a gleam of mischief in his eyes that set her alight. The flame that flickered through her was unexpected. It stole her breath. She took a step back.

  Van had said one stupid thing, and all her thoughts of the buyer had slipped away. He’d given her a look, and her body had felt something other than pain.

  “Fine,” she said. “I’ll be your replacement best friend today, but you need to let me put on something nicer than this. And shoes. I’ll need shoes.”

  His lips parted, clearly surprised. She didn’t tell him that she wanted to bask in his presence like a potent drug or that when no one was around she struggled with her beast. Those were her secrets, but she did tell him on her way back out that his hair looked nice in an elven king kind of way.

  The compliment threw Van. He stared at her like he couldn’t comprehend the words she’d just spoken. It made her grin. Shaking him was going to be a fun distraction from the fears still lurking in her gut.

  He led her back to his truck. It was roomy inside. She didn’t have to worry about feeling cramped in the small space with another shifter. It didn’t feel like a cage.

  “When did trucks get so big? This is like an SUV with a truck bed on the back.”

  “You missed six months of the real world. Not that much has changed in that time. Trucks have been this big for a while now.”

  “Ah, yes. Because men need bigger and bigger compensation for their little dicks. I totally forgot about that.”

  Van paused, one hand on the keys in the ignition, and gave her a stunned look. “Did you sharpen your tongue today? Because it’s vicious.”

  “No, but I do sharpen my teeth regularly.” She grinned, letting a bit of her beast slip into her form so that her canines lengthened.

  Van just stared at her. She thought she was being funny, but the look in his eyes told another story. Her smile faltered and she turned back to the window, suddenly feeling out of place.

  The truck bounced out of the rocky parking lot. Carol had to hold onto the handle on the ceiling, a cackling laugh slipping between her lips. Van seemed to take her laughter as a challenge. He turned down the first dirt road he could find. They lurched forward when he punched the gas.

  Carol rolled her window down. The world outside smelled rife with life, green and free. The wind that wound through her hair reminded her that she wasn’t in a cage. Not anymore. No one would cage her. She would live her own life o
n her own terms.

  Her beast seemed to like the idea. It sank back, content with the wind and the open skies. Carol leaned further out the window and let the wind tear across her skin. They careened toward a curve in the road. Van didn’t slow down. His laugh was a booming sound as he cranked the steering wheel.

  The truck rose on two wheels and slammed back down to all four once they passed the curve.

  “Well, that was probably the dumbest thing I’ll do all day,” Van said.

  She sat back down into her seat. Ahead, the town was coming into view. Church steeples rose above the newly green trees. To the right, a series of lamps rose high over a sports field.

  “Is this the kind of shit you get up to with Rodrigo? I can’t imagine Dante wanting to do anything so stupid.”

  He laughed. “Not a chance in hell. I don’t normally do things like that. I’m the cautious one. Rodrigo will run headfirst into a trap and Dante will speed down highways on his motorcycle, but I normally think about everything I do before I do it.”

  She didn’t think he planned on tilting his truck like that. He’d done it for her. Had he seen her joy? Was that why he rocketed down the dirt road? Carol didn’t know what to say to that, so she didn’t say anything at all. It wasn’t the pack’s job to make her smile again. That was on her.

  Nonetheless, she appreciated the effort. She enjoyed his laughter even more. After a moment, he relaxed into his seat, still softly laughing at what they’d done. She let her head fall into her hand, elbow propped on the door beside her, and studied Van.

  The feline beast inside him made his movements lithe. He was smooth as water, but the lines of his face were as hard as ice. She wanted to run her thumb over the rise of his cheekbone to see if it was as cold as ice, or if the summer sun had warmed it. His gaze slid toward her, and she quickly looked away.

  Was she checking him out? The last thing she needed was romance. Carol knew she wouldn’t make a good mate. Her head was still too much of a mess. There was no way she would ever be able to make someone happy. There was no use in trying.