Flawless: (Fearsome Series Book 4)

by S. A. Wolfe

  “Imogene didn’t tell me any of this. She’s been acting like her usual self.”

  “She found out sometime while you were in Florida.”

  Florida reminds me of my own lie and how I’ve kept secrets from Jess.

  “She had tests done because they’d been trying for ten months. She has endometriosis and it’s severe. She was so stressed out wondering why she couldn’t get pregnant, and then she was devastated when she found out she really couldn’t.”

  “Because no one is flawless,” I say to myself.

  “No. No one is flawless. But didn’t someone famous say ‘Perfect is boring’?”

  “I’ve never heard that. It must have been you who said it.”

  Jess coos at her baby while I think about Imogene putting up a good cover. I never would have known.

  “The good news is Cooper really is a wonderful husband, and I believe she’s coming around to the idea of adoption. She’s been so hard on herself thinking she damaged her body somehow and ruined Cooper’s chances for biological children. It takes a toll on couples, for sure.”

  “What about Leo and Lauren? Their relationship doesn’t look complicated at all.”

  “Except for Leo’s irrational fear of his wife and baby dying in a tragic accident.”

  “What?” I whisper-shout.

  “Whatever horrible thing he sees in the news, he thinks it’ll happen to his family. When you were in Florida, Carson booked a vacation for both of our families at a family-friendly resort. Atlantis. Who does that with a newborn? I told Carson it would be a disaster. But Scotty wasn’t the problem.

  “We spent the first two days of the vacation at a Ramada by Newark Airport because Leo suddenly had a panic attack right before boarding. He made a scene, and then Lauren started crying—I mean bawling—because she was so exhausted from working and taking care of little Maisie that she just lost it. Carson was already on the plane with Scotty, so he was escorted off to join us and resolve the issue. The problem escalated when Carson snapped at a security guard and said, ‘My baby just took a dump and I need a vacation!’” Jess’s impression of Carson makes me laugh.

  “Why did you have to stay in Newark?”

  “After all the commotion, Lauren’s crying, Leo’s talk about crashing planes, and Carson holding both babies while angrily telling everyone that they have loaded diapers and need their parents to be on the plane with cocktails to make this better, I tried calming the situation down when TSA pulled us aside. Of course, we missed the plane, and I’m sure the flight attendants and passengers were relieved. We were booted.

  “Eventually, everyone calmed down and Carson took care of the tickets and the hotel, but every flight was booked for two days. So, we went to the Ramada and slept, swam in the pool, and ate pizza until a flight opened up for six of us. It ended up being a good vacation after that.”

  “Leo and Lauren always make marriage and parenting look so easy.”

  “I think the pressure of being put on a pedestal by everyone made them crack. We don’t always see what someone else is going through, even when it’s right in front of us.”

  “True. Some things are easier to share than others,” I say.

  “I thought, perhaps there’s something you want to tell me,” Jess says gently. “You’ve been a little distant over the past two or three months. Sometimes it looks as if you’re … hiding something.”

  “Oh,” I say in surprise. “Does everyone think this?”

  “If you mean Imogene and the other women, I don’t think so. I don’t discuss you with them. We used to share everything, Talia. The only thing that’s changed is I have a baby now. I still need my best friend.”

  “Me, too.”

  “Talking with Carson or my mother is not the same as talking to you. Carson does a lot of ‘Yep, I hear ya,’ and my mother keeps saying ‘You worry too much.’ I love them, but they aren’t you.”

  I reach out and stroke Scotty’s chubby cheek. He’s slumped over Jess’s shoulder, his squished face resembling her bulldog, Bert. “I want to spend more time with him and you.”

  “I’m not asking you to babysit. Didn’t you hear what I was saying? I miss the way things were. I want to hang out with you again. I can hand Scotty off to Carson, and I will get in my car and drive and meet you anywhere. I liked hanging out with you at your old kitchen when it was just us two so we could talk while you cooked. I can’t really do that in Bash’s kitchen with twenty people running in and out. I’d be in the way.”

  “Our lives have changed quite a bit. You have a baby and my job is busier than ever. I miss talking to you, too. Sometimes I feel lonely, even when I’m surrounded by a kitchen full of people.”

  “Then you can talk to me, because I’m going to start visiting Swill during the day. I want to start a new series of paintings, something I know my dealer will like. I already spoke to Peyton about it. He said I’m welcome to come in and do my sketches whenever I want.”

  “You’re ready to go back to work already?”

  “I’ve been dabbling at home in my studio, but I miss being around people. I thought bringing in a sketchpad to Swill for a couple of hours would help me creatively, and socially.”

  “There’s definitely plenty of room before the restaurant opens. You could have your own table, and it would give us more opportunities to talk. That would be nice.” I am looking forward to seeing her more often.

  “Well, this is my excited face,” she says, looking very tired. “We’ll be working in the same place, at least a couple days a week.”

  Her statement is punctuated with a long, rippling fart from Scotty, who is soundly snoring. The loud fart is followed by another, and then his sleeping face turns pink as he makes tight grunting noises and his bowels release what sounds like the world’s loudest cappuccino machine. I cover my nose and laugh.

  “That’s a stinky one. I swear my days are broken up into periods of time each defined either by Scotty’s pooping or his eating.”

  “I think I hear my son,” Carson says from the other room. “Sounds like he’s making lattes over there.”

  “Yeah, ha-ha,” Jess says.

  “Can I help?” I ask with my nose plugged.

  “No. I’ll go change him in the bathroom. Can you believe he sleeps through these power poops?” She grabs the diaper bag from a stool and leaves me alone in the kitchen.

  I’m ready for this night to be over. When I offered to cook for everyone, it sounded easy, like another party to cater. I didn’t expect it to trigger so many confusing emotions.

  I finish washing the remaining dishes, listening to people giving their goodbyes to Peyton and extending their compliments to Finn and Harmony. Finn is gracious for a nine-year-old, outgoing and charming like his father. He handles Lois’s and Eleanor’s hugs and cheek pinches like a good sport. Uncle Fraser and Grandpa Stu both promise to take Finn on the job site where they’re helping Peyton’s brother, Evan, build a summer cabin someplace farther upstate. Their talk about eating sandwiches on the roof and using nail guns must be making Harmony shudder.

  Harmony brings in an empty glass and places it in the sink. She has a smile that could only be described as sly.

  “Dinner was good,” she says.

  Good? My dinner was excellent, and she knows it.

  “So many courses. Peyton must be paying you a pretty penny for all this work.”

  So she’s fishing for information, wanting to know if I’m a hired caterer or if I prepared this for free because I’m sleeping with him.

  “He spares no expense when it comes to food,” I say, which is true since he did pay for all the food, but vague enough so she doesn’t know that I wouldn’t accept payment. Not from Peyton. I’m doing this because feeding people is one of the few ways that I know how to show love.

  Love?

  Harmony’s relentless pursuit to figure out who I am and how I fit into Peyton’s life is making her more aggressive with me and definitely making me dislike her. A
nd it’s forcing me to think long and hard about my feelings for Peyton. I didn’t have to reach too deep for the word love to pop into my head.

  “Huh,” Harmony says, but her stare tells me she’s not satisfied with my response and will keep digging.

  It’s as if she’s daring me to do anything, and she’s ready to pounce. I’m almost afraid to reach for the tube of pink lip gloss I left on the counter so I can reapply it. I wouldn’t call her a shark, but she’s like a beautiful hawk, taunting her prey—me, the little chef who just wants a swipe of lip gloss. And maybe a lot more with the swashbuckling hero in the other room, who happens to be dueling with Finn and his little nieces and nephews with the toy lightsabers Greer passed out as party favors.

  Harmony releases me from her death stare and calls to Finn in the next room. “Finn, honey, time to gather your things. We need to leave now.”

  “Ah, that sucks,” Finn says, galloping into the kitchen with his saber.

  “Hey,” Harmony admonishes. “Language.”

  “Are you sure you need to leave already?” Peyton asks. He’s sweaty and out of breath after jumping all over the furniture with his preschool and middle school fan base. Children adore the MacKenzie men. They’re all clowns. Handsome, sexy clowns.

  “It’s after ten, and it’s a school night,” Harmony replies. “We have a long drive.”

  “Stay here.” The words are out of Peyton’s mouth before I can apply my fresh coat of lip gloss.

  I feel stupid. Here I was, getting ready to spend the night with him, and he invites his ex-something or other to sleep over.

  Harmony purses her lips.

  “I’m serious,” Peyton says. “You shouldn’t drive tonight. My dad and uncle aren’t driving back to Brooklyn at this hour—they’re staying at Cooper’s place. And my brothers and their kids are crashing at Greer’s, so you two should stay here. You can have the guest room, and Finn can have my bed. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

  “Yeah, let’s do that, Mom,” Finn says, his eyes going wide with excitement.

  “I suppose we can. But we have to get up earlier in the morning,” she tells Finn. “We’ll have to go by the house and get your backpack, and I’ll need to change clothes for work.”

  “We’re staying here.” Finn smiles at Peyton.

  “Good.” Peyton ruffles Finn’s hair like a father who’s done it a million times before.

  It doesn’t take long for Harmony to settle in. She finds the guest room and inquires with me—me!—where the extra bath towels are located. I don’t fall for her trap. I have Aleska show Harmony around the house and how to find what she needs, including the morning coffee. Peyton is too busy loading our van with the catering crates to notice the female dynamics at play under his roof.

  I say goodbye to the last guests and walk with Imogene and Cooper to their car. Stu and Fraser MacKenzie are already in Cooper’s truck, singing a Scottish tune loudly and off-key to Stu’s youngest children.

  “I love bringing drunks home,” Imogene says. “Nothing says family love like wrangling inebriated men onto air mattresses, along with their five-year-old accomplices.”

  Cooper laughs. “It’ll be fun. Especially when one of them pops their mattress or falls out of bed.”

  Imogene laughs, then whispers something in his ear.

  Cooper salutes me, and then hops into the driver’s side, barking at his father to take it down a notch.

  She must have told him she wants a moment to talk to me.

  Imogene takes my hand. This sisterly coddling is so out of character for her that I want to laugh.

  “Peyton had to invite her to spend the night,” Imogene says. “He’s being a gentleman. He wants to be close to Finn, not her.”

  “I suppose so.”

  “I know so. He also wants to be with you. What man wouldn’t want to be with a beautiful, secretive, Russian spy?”

  “Great,” I say dourly. “Odpieprz się.”

  “What’s that mean? Some kind of Russian code?”

  “It’s Polish for fuck off.”

  As they drive away, I can still hear the raucous singing when their vehicle is out of sight, swallowed up by the dark night.

  I walk around the guest cars left behind. Harmony’s is the only high-end luxury one, and if I were a different person and she wasn’t Finn’s mother, I’d key the glossy, metallic paint. Instead, I walk over to our van where Aleska is sitting behind the wheel, checking her phone.

  As Peyton slides one last crate into the back end, then closes the doors, I approach him.

  “Everything’s in.” He takes my arm and pulls me into him. With his other hand, he holds my face firmly as he coasts his lips across my temple, cheek, and then presses them against my lips.

  I yield to the familiar heat and desire he summons in me. The kiss is long and sensual and makes my soul feel owned by Peyton. He maneuvers me so my back is against the truck. He has one hand underneath my ass, the other holding my leg up, and he’s positioned between my legs, his jean-clad hard-on hitting every pleasure point perfectly. This Russian spy is fantasizing about stripping and giving up all her secrets to have this man take her against a catering van.

  Aleska holds down the high-pitched horn on our van, startling us. “Don’t make me come back there, you two. We have to go, Talia.”

  She can’t see us, but I’m still embarrassed.

  Peyton doesn’t let me go until we’re both laughing.

  “Actually, it’s good that Aleska stopped us,” I say.

  “Sorry our plans for tonight changed, but I couldn’t let them drive home this late. It felt wrong, and I like the idea of having Finn spend the night.”

  “You don’t have to explain. You made him feel like a king tonight. He’s very happy to be here.”

  “I think he’s the one who makes me feel like a king.”

  He leans down and gently kisses me again. His tenderness opens a door where I can envision us doing this for many years to come. I see us together, raising Finn, sharing a parenting schedule with Harmony, fixing up this home together, and having family dinners where people come to us, including my mother. My mother will be well again, I’ll be whole, my sister will find her way, and Peyton will be with me.

  The sudden kick of the engine turning over shakes me from my unrealistic fantasy.

  Peyton reluctantly releases me but takes me by the hand and walks me around to the passenger side. He even opens the door and holds my hand for support as I step up into the van. I’m getting the full boyfriend treatment, which makes Aleska snicker.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, spy girl,” he says, then gives me a chaste kiss on the lips right in front of my sister.

  We say nothing on the short ride home, but when she parks the van in front of our house and turns off the engine, she’s fidgety, wanting to say something.

  “What?” I ask.

  “I just hope you know what you’re doing, because there are other people involved now.”

  “I think we’re on the same page.”

  “You think? That’s not very reassuring. You need to be absolutely sure. You’ve never been in a situation like this, Talia.”

  I’m not sure if my sister is accusing me of being reckless or if she’s trying to protect me from a man who comes as a package deal with a son and a beautiful woman who may be my competition.

  Peyton

  I’M OFFICIALLY A MEMBER of a club I never expected to join—the Daddy Club. Once you’re in, well-meaning friends and family begin to tell you what you should be doing to make your child happier, a better eater, more responsible with chores, and smarter because you’re supposed to provide educational toys, software, and outings for your child. Ironically, it’s a club where men like my father brag about what a great dad they are because they made hamburgers one night or they took the kids to the science museum and watched them run around for hours. When I remind him that his daughter, Greer, does this daily for her kids and manages a career while they’re at scho
ol, he clams up.

  It’s easy to be an uncle and show up for the fun times, but the day-to-day work involved in parenting eludes me, scares me. I’ve never dreamed of having it, but Finn makes me desire it.

  His permanent life is with Harmony, in her home, but I do want more than the occasional outing with him. I want to be a part of his routine, even if it means I only get a few hours on the weekends. I want the phone calls, the texts, and dinners together. When I brought this up with Harmony in the morning before she and Finn left my home, she surprised me with her generosity.

  “Let’s start with Saturdays. If you can adjust your schedule a bit so you’re not out all night, you can have him then.”

  Her words showered down on me like I’d won the lottery. Alter my nighttime work hours for that kid? Hell, I’m the boss. I’ll do anything to have more time with him.

  When I arrived at work the next day, I did the unthinkable. I removed myself from our busiest night, the Saturday shift. Bash agreed to run both the dining room and kitchen since we have the most employees on staff during that time. Plus, both Greer and I live only minutes from the restaurant, so one of us can help if there’s an emergency.

  And then I got busy making lists.

  Food. Kids need food in the house at all times.

  Bedroom for Finn. Other than action figures, books, and games, what do boys need in their bedrooms?

  When Talia arrived, I showed her my list and she laughed. “I’ll help you with his room. We’ll do a little shopping.”

  I loved the sound of that. More time with Talia and more time with Finn.

  She pushed me away so she could cook.

  I stared at my three-item list for the rest of the day until Finn got home from school and I could call him.

  It was one of the most exhilarating weeks for me, the prospect of my son coming to stay with me without Harmony and being with Talia every day and night.

  In between work, we squeezed in morning and night runs to Target and the outlet mall to buy bedding, games, and groceries. We settled on a light purple paint. Talia said it matched Finn’s favorite T-shirt from one of the photos in the album. Then we spent Wednesday night painting the guest room.