An Ungoverned World

by Kip Nelson

  The water looked black in the night. Occasionally white foam crested on the surface, and in the bleak light of the moon he could just about make out a few rocks that jutted out of the water and the bobbing, helpless forms of Backdraft, Tanya, and Cosmo. His only friends in the world. Nick jerked his neck and kicked up powerfully, trying to make sure that he didn't succumb. He heard Tanya and Cosmo cry out. They still were bound and gagged. At least Nick's mouth had been freed.

  “I'm coming!” Nick called out.

  His words were quickly washed as the cold water splashed into his mouth. The current had taken hold of them and was sweeping them along in the night. Nick managed to get himself twisted around and disoriented. It was so hard to tell where he was in the darkness. He heard the paddling of Backdraft's four limbs nearby and used that to guide him. As he grew further from Gillian and her crazed friends he was more aware of the sounds of Tanya and Cosmo struggling to survive.

  Nick fought with everything he had. His training kicked in. This had been what he had prepared for all his life. These were the situations when panic and fear spread through people and made them frantic but not Nick. His mind had been forged into a shield. He was aware of the fear and panic inside him, but he was able to push it aside and focus on the job at hand. He wasn't going to let his friends die. It was up to him to rescue them. That was his duty. That's what he had been trained to do and no matter how much he lost in this world, no matter how far he got from his home and everything he knew that one truth would always remain.

  “Backdraft, here boy!” Nick called out.

  The sleek black dog was almost invisible in the night. He was like a torpedo, following Nick's command and darting towards him in a straight line. Nick felt the warm breath on his face and was glad to have his companion by his side once again. He leaned his head against Backdraft and felt the wetness of his coat. Backdraft was paddling valiantly. He was a strong dog, and he'd battle until the end. But this wasn't going to be the end. Nick wasn't going to die this way. He wasn't even going to have a near-death experience like Gillian wanted. He certainly wasn't going to buy into her philosophy.

  Just as he was thinking about them he could hear them again. They were running along the bank of the river, whooping and clapping and cheering. They all looked down at the four of them and seemed to think Nick and his friends were going through something wonderful.

  “Soon you'll be a part of us!” they called out. In the darkness Nick couldn't see who. It seemed like all of them had something to say.

  “You'll understand then.”

  “You'll see the truth.”

  “You'll know what it's like to truly live.”

  “Just let the river take you.”

  “Surrender and be free.”

  Nick had never been told to surrender. Fighting was what he had done all his life. Even from a young age. With an absent father and a neglectful mother, he'd practically had to raise himself. He'd never had any help with homework or growing up. The only guidance he'd had was when he joined the fire department. They had been his family but now they were all gone. Tanya, Cosmo, and Backdraft were all he had left. It wasn't exactly the family he'd pictured having for himself, but they'd been through a lot together and he wasn't going to let any of them die. He wasn't going to give up. How many times had he run into burning buildings to save people? How many times had he put himself in danger? It was more than a job to him. It was the way he wanted to live his life.

  It was so hard keeping his head above water without having his arms free. He wondered how Cosmo and Tanya were coping. They weren't as strong as him. He thought of Tanya, and how she must have felt that everyone was out to betray her. Nick had stopped her from throwing herself in the river and she had ended up there anyway, again not of her own volition. Although from what he could see and hear she still was fighting. She wasn't giving up either. Good girl.

  Cosmo certainly wasn't going to give up. Though Nick had his problems with Cosmo it was clear that Cosmo wasn't going to give up easily. Nick made a point to try and listen more to his opinions because he had been right in this case, although it probably still wasn't a good idea to go about with the attitude that everyone was out to get them. Nick called out to them again, trying to make it clear that he was going to get them out of this. He had to yell to the top of his lungs as he wanted to be heard over the hollering cries of the survivors.

  That plane crash had obviously twisted their minds. Their bodies had survived but their minds, their souls had not. They had become fractured. Broken. This world did that to people. It took everything they had, everything they knew and tore it apart. Nothing was certain any longer. All belief systems in the world suffered. People had to make up their own. These Angels of Death had embraced a philosophy that gave them reason and purpose, but it was all false.

  They were just trying to put the pieces together like everyone else, thinking they were superior and had all the answers. Really though they were just shutting themselves off from the rest of the world and the rest of their lives. They had left families and loved ones behind in various parts of the country and used this experience as an excuse to justify it. Gillian had forsaken her children. Abandoned them to be a part of this group of people and she could tell herself that it was a noble cause, but she was lying to herself. They all were. Nick was not going to accept that lie because he knew there was no way it was true.

  He'd had too many near-death experiences himself.

  His mind flashed back to a time when he had been standing in a burning building. Flames crackled all around and weakened the building. It creaked and groaned, on the verge of collapse. Smoke clouded the air and his brothers were telling him to get out. A woman was crying that her kid was in there. He'd always been taught to not be a hero, but he couldn't let a kid die. Not when there still was a chance. He dove back into the building, fighting his way through the flames. It was hard to hear anything through the dancing flames but quickly he located a child, huddled down low, ash smudged on her face. He coaxed her out and draped her arms around his neck, then he made his way out of the house.

  The floor was creaking and giving way underneath his feet. Every step was a danger. Flames shot out as they crept around the house, pulling it down, tearing it apart. Walls of fire shot up all around him as the roof started to cave in. Debris fell around Nick and the girl. He placed his hand over her head even as he felt her body go limp. The only movement was her raw coughs. He felt the heat on his back and looked around to see a swell of fire. The color drained from his face as he sprinted forward, the weakened floorboards splintering, and flung himself out of the house just as a fireball engulfed the whole thing. But he had saved the kid. It all had been worth the risk.

  Then, in this new world he had been beaten within an inch of his life. He had been captured and had to watch his best friend get murdered, had to leave Backdraft behind to save the dog's life. All through this he had survived, and he hadn't gained a profound understanding of life. It was all a delusion. There was only chaos in the world. It didn't care who you were or what you did and there was no such concept as deserve. The only thing that mattered was what you did. Anything else was lost in the wind.

  The water slipped around him. It felt as though a force was trying to pull him down, but he wasn't going to let it. He wasn't going to give Gillian the satisfaction. He was going to fight this, and if he needed to, he was going to fight them as well. He would fight anyone who got in his way. There were more things than fires threatening people and Nick was only one man, but he would do all he could to keep the world safe. Sometimes it felt as though he was the only person around trying to do that but if that was the case then so be it. It still was the right thing to do.

  The current seemed to get stronger and he was getting turned and twisted about more and more. For a moment he saw a head, he didn't know if it was Cosmo's or Tanya's, disappear under the surface. He tried to push himself towards them for they were under the water for an unnervingly long ti
me. He breathed a sigh of relief when they broke through the surface. They still were alive, but for how long? There was only so much strength they had, and if they couldn’t break free of the restraints, eventually the river would drag them down. Unless Nick did something drastic they all would drown. For a moment, the irony flashed through his mind that a firefighter would die of drowning, but it was only a moment. He had other things to think about.

  Nick peered through the darkness and saw the glistening surface of rocks gleaming under the silver light of the moon. He pushed himself toward them. He wished he could have put his arm on Backdraft for support, but as strong as the dog was, Nick didn't want to make him struggle any more than he was already. Even so, Backdraft stayed by his side, as loyal as ever.

  The sounds of the Angels of Death turned from cheers to stupefied gasps as they saw Nick latch on to the rock. He roared as he strained himself to get his hands on it. They almost slipped off. It took every ounce of strength he had to keep hold, for his hands were tied behind his back and so he was in an extremely awkward position. His hands gripped the wet surface, but after a time he became confident that he would not fall away.

  He managed to hold his head above the water and catch his breath. As he did so, he reached out with his arms and started rubbing the ropes against the sharp edges of the rock, which had not been completely eroded smooth by the water rushing around it. He rubbed vigorously and could only hope that it worked because he didn't know what else to do. He glanced up, beads of sweat trickling down his temples and then dripping down, being lost in the water. Backdraft was struggling against the current, which was getting stronger the further along the river they went. Tanya and Cosmo still were there, but for how long?

  Nick grimaced, fearing that his plan wouldn't work. Then he felt something break. His arms were free! He grinned in triumph and spun around, gripping around the rock with his powerful arms. He had twisted his body around so he could steady himself while he let go of the rock and broke free of the restraints, but he was free. He pushed off and swam powerfully toward Tanya and Cosmo. In the distance, he could hear disbelief from Gillian and her cronies. This wasn't supposed to happen. Nick didn't mind defying the odds.

  As soon as Nick was near Tanya and Cosmo he set to work at untying them. He told them that it was going to be okay as he freed their arms first and then removed their gags. He freed Tanya first, and then he saw to Cosmo. Now that he was free it was easy to rescue them, although now they were hurtling down the river, fully held by the current. This was not what Gillian had planned, and a chorus of boos echoed all around. Some of them ran by Nick and the others, trying to keep up with them, but the current was too strong. Part of Nick wanted to fight it and return to the surface and give them a piece of his mind, but the current was too strong for that. The water swirled and foamed and carried them away. Nick had to surrender, although not in the way that Gillian wanted. He didn't know where the river was going to take him, or if he ever was going to see Gillian again.

  For a moment she had seemed as though she could be a part of his future, and that place could have been a home. He would have to keep looking and keep searching.

  “I told you there was something going on with them,” Cosmo growled as they rushed along the river. “I was right.”

  Nick told him to shut up. This was not a victory in the slightest. They had survived by the skin of their teeth and had managed to escape only thanks to the whims of the river. He had no doubt that if they had been able, Gillian and the others would have fished them out and tested them in another way. Now they were off to somewhere new and Nick had to prepare himself for whatever threats might be waiting for them.

  Chapter Twelve

  Wet and tired, Tanya was drenched all over as the current finally subsided enough to allow them to climb out. Tanya coughed and shivered. The whole ordeal must have lasted what felt like hours, although in this forsaken world Tanya had no concept of time, other than the sun rose and fell to mark the days. It still was dark, and the moon shone overhead. Exhausted, Tanya fell to the ground, spluttering. Every muscle inside her ached and throbbed. She was so cold all she wanted to do was roll underneath a blanket and sleep for days on end.

  It was all too much to take. Those people...Jake...they had seemed so nice. Was she ever going to get away from those who wanted to hurt her? She'd trusted Jake, and even had considered returning his affections. He looked at her with acceptance and his feelings seemed to be genuine. But in the end, he'd wanted her to change. He'd wanted her to be cleansed, as though she was some dirty rag that needed to be washed.

  She wasn't broken, no matter how many times her father had told her so. She didn't need to be reborn...but then isn't that what she had been trying to do anyway? She'd told so many lies about herself and where she was trying to go. She'd hoped that, in the end, the truth would have blurred in with the lies and she wouldn't have been able to remember it. Turns out it was impossible to forget, and no matter how many lies or falsities she bundled on top of the truth, no matter how far she pushed it down, it always would be there, forever a part of her.

  “Tanya, get up, you can't let yourself fall asleep. I know you're tired, but we need to try keeping warm. We must get moving,” Nick said.

  Ah Nick, he was so perfect in many ways except the one that mattered. She thought he'd look at her differently than all the rest, but he was just like them. When he looked at her he didn't see a young woman in her prime, ready to love and be loved and let all the affection that had been building inside her flow out, he only saw the fragile girl, the vulnerable victim, the scarred and wounded shell. She didn't have to listen to him. She could just stay on the ground and be warm. She'd dry soon enough. The grass would absorb the water and she would be just fine. It would be nice to dream for a little while...

  “We have to go,” Cosmo said gruffly.

  He put his hands on her and tried pulling her up. Tanya screamed and pushed him away, kicking and lashing out with her hands and feet. Cosmo backed away quickly. Tanya scrambled to her feet and glared at him. With water still dripping from every inch of her body she looked like a drowned cat and was just about as angry as one.

  “Don't you dare lay your hands on me!” she screamed. “I don't want anything to do with you! Get the hell out of my face!”

  “You should be thanking me. I knew something was wrong, but neither of you believed me. Just the same old story, isn't it? Shut up, Cosmo! Be quiet, Cosmo!” Cosmo growled.

  “You think there's something wrong with everything! You didn't have to hound me like that. Did you really think I was some sort of spy? Why did you do it? Why did you have to do it like that?” Tanya said. The cold and the exhaustion made her already fragile state even more so. Her voice and body trembled with emotion, which only was exacerbated by the fact that she was shivering.

  “Get over yourself,” Cosmo said.

  All the anger inside Tanya boiled over. She'd had enough of people telling her what she should do and how she should feel. She screamed as she lunged at Cosmo, slashing her nails at him. He dodged her and backed away quickly. Tanya strode toward him again, slashing wildly. She was so enraged she couldn't see clearly. She just wanted to scream and hurt someone in the same way that she had been hurt. Maybe that would make her feel better. Nothing else had.

  A hand caught her wrist. She struggled and then sobbed.

  “Stop it, Tanya. This isn't helping anyone,” Nick said in a calm, even tone.

  He led her over to a nearby log and sat her down. She placed her head in her hands and tried to stem the flow of tears, but nothing seemed able to stop them. In a low voice she could hear Nick telling Cosmo to give her some space. Then he returned to her and crouched down. He pulled her hand away and almost went to wipe her tears, but then something stopped him. Dammit, Nick, why did he have to be so handsome and caring? In times like these she thought he genuinely had feelings for her, but he couldn't feel the same thing she felt. He was a man with everything figured ou
t and she was just a silly little girl.

  “I'm sorry for what happened, I really am. I know you don't want to be around Cosmo right now and, frankly, I don't blame you. I need to have some words with him myself, but right now the three of us have been thrown together in this world, and I don't think it's a good idea for us to split up. I'm not condoning the way he acted around you, but I don't think it's right to cast anyone aside in a world like this.

  “There's a lot for us to talk about and, believe me, I do want to talk. I mean that, I really do. I want you to feel as though you're able to talk to me as well about whatever you want. You don't have to hide yourself, Tanya. We're still alive. We've survived a hell of a lot. Let's carry on with that. I know this is hard, but sometimes we must put our personal feelings aside. Let's find out where we are and then go from there. Hopefully, we'll be able to find a place to rest soon.”

  He stroked her arm and she wished he knew how good that felt to her. When the warmth of his touch dissipated she felt alone again, isolated...hollow. She sniffed and wiped her eyes as she looked over and glared at Cosmo. He wasn't an evil man, but he was an asshole, and he didn’t need to go after her like that. Tanya didn't know when she would forget the humiliation she had felt at having her truth exposed in front of all those strangers. It seemed as though, no matter how far she ran from it, part of her life always would be there, haunting her.

  She didn't know if she ever could forgive Cosmo for what he had done, but she would try moving forward, for Nick's sake. He was the kind of man who wouldn't leave anyone behind, and she could see how desperately he wanted them all to survive. Of course, if Cosmo had any honor at all, he would have headed off by himself and left her and Nick to it. Now, there was a thought. A smile played upon her lips as she thought about what it would be like for the two of them to be together, wandering through the world, with Backdraft, of course. Having Nick all to herself would make it easier for him to see past all of her baggage and get to the real person underneath. Maybe then he would love her. Maybe...