All I've Waited For
Page 8
Madison’s fingers tapped the edge of her lower lip. “All I know is that the truth has a way of coming out. Remember when you urged me to tell Evan the truth about our past?”
“That was different. You were being stubborn and making assumptions about what he wanted.” Ashley folded her arms and sat back in her chair.
“I could say the same about you.” At Ashley’s pointed glare, she held up her hands. “Fine. My point is, maybe you can’t tell Derek how you feel now. But maybe talking about the past—how you used to feel, how things used to be—would go a long way in helping you heal. Let the truth set you free.”
How could she ever tell him about the past without making her current emotions totally obvious?
Ashley stood, gathering up the plates and forks, stacking them to make it easier for the busboy. “It’s a nice idea, Mad. But I’m not sure that the truth would bring anything but pain.” And embarrassment. “Besides, it would only ruin the fragile bit of friendship we’ve managed to build.”
Standing, Ashley hugged Madison goodbye and left the Frosted Cake—and Madison’s suggestion—behind.
Late-night work session all by her lonesome, here she came.
Chapter 8
“What do you mean, we’re not on the schedule?” Ashley’s grip tightened on the arm of the chair where she sat across from Janessa Kennedy, the Moonstone Lodge’s events coordinator. Derek shifted in the seat next to Ashley, a frown fixed on his face.
This couldn’t be happening. Not with this wedding.
With soaring crossbeam wooden ceilings and plush furniture featuring crystal-button tufted seat backs, Janessa’s office was as opulent as the rest of the luxury resort nestled in the pines just a few miles northeast of Walker Beach. Guests came from all over for the 360-degree views—the ocean on one side of the hotel and the forest on the other.
The woman’s black bob swayed as she shook her head. “That’s not quite what—”
“I mean, we’ve paid the hefty deposit.” Ashley’s voice gathered steam. “I’ve triple-checked the date with your assistant and met with him to go over details.”
In fact, this was the first time she was dealing with Janessa regarding this event at all. The woman had left a voicemail on Ashley’s phone this morning requesting an urgent call back. Since Derek needed to tour the venue and make a few decisions that Ashley hadn’t been able to make on her own—despite working non-stop the last three days on the wedding details—they’d decided to drop by to chat with Janessa in person.
But the coordinator’s news had not been part of the plan. “How did this happen?” Again Ashley peeked at Derek, who hadn’t removed his hawk-like gaze from Janessa.
How could he be so calm? He was getting married in eighteen days, and they’d just been informed that the venue wasn’t available.
In all his years of planning, this had probably never happened to Kyle. And he was going to kill Ashley if Derek didn’t first.
But instead of murder in his eyes, Derek merely looked like he was assessing any old business problem that needed a solution. “I’d like to know the same thing. What happened?” He sat back, folded his arms across his chest, and waited.
Ashley breathed out slowly. If he wasn’t freaking out, she wouldn’t either. She couldn’t. Besides, anger would only serve to alienate the events coordinator of the Moonstone Lodge, one of the only wedding venues in town that was elegant and large enough to accommodate higher-end weddings. The resort’s hilltop location and ocean views made it a coveted wedding locale.
Janessa had the good sense to at least look chagrined. “When Mr. Mahaney called to inquire about the date in question, my assistant didn’t look at the calendar properly. While it’s true that there are no outside events scheduled during the date in question, we have a very exclusive private party renting the entire lodge for two weeks, including the one before and after Memorial Day weekend.”
Exclusive private party. Aka a celebrity or at least someone very rich and high profile.
“And frankly, Ashley, I’m surprised at your assumption.” Janessa’s chin raised in challenge. “Everyone knows that we book up a year, sometimes two, in advance.”
Janessa was right. When Ashley had found out Moonstone Lodge was available so last minute, and on a holiday weekend no less, she should have known it was too good to be true. Even though she’d talked with Janessa’s assistant several times, she should have dug deeper. “I …”
“Hang on now.” Derek straightened. “It doesn’t sound like it’s Ashley’s fault at all. Sounds like it’s yours.”
“As I explained, my assistant—”
“And your assistant answers to you, doesn’t he?”
The event coordinator’s lips pressed into a firm line. “Not anymore. I let him go over this incident, of course.”
“Is there anything we can do about this?” Derek asked. “Any way you can squeeze us in?”
“I wish I could, but the private party’s contract explicitly states there are only to be employees on-site, and each of us has been asked to sign an NDA. So a wedding is out of the question, I’m afraid.”
The air in the office crackled. “And what about our contract?” Though Derek’s voice remained steady, it was laced with steel. “If I contact my attorney, will he tell me I have grounds to sue you for breach of contract?”
Ashley’s gaze ping-ponged between them. Much as she hated that this was happening, she couldn’t afford to burn bridges with Janessa.
She placed a hand on Derek’s forearm. His eyes shot toward it, then up to meet her gaze.
Before she could explain her thoughts, he stood. “I don’t see that there’s any reason to stay here any longer. I expect a full refund on our deposit, Ms. Kennedy.”
“Of course. And I can offer you a twenty-five percent discount on a future event booking.” The woman smiled.
How magnanimous of her.
Ashley followed Derek out into the lobby. As soon as Janessa’s office door shut behind them, she dropped her head into her hands. “I’m so sorry, Derek. I can’t believe this.” Tears burned her eyes. Oh no. She couldn’t cry. How unprofessional.
It had gotten so quiet she was sure Derek had left her there. But after several achingly long moments, he placed a hand on her back. The warmth traveled all the way to her toes.
“Why are you sorry?” His voice had gone soft, and she looked up. “It’ll be okay. We’ll just get our heads on straight and start calling around, looking for another venue.”
“Derek, you don’t understand.” Ashley stepped back, and his hand slipped away. “There won’t be any more venues. It was a pure miracle this place was available.”
He looked away, breathing out steadily as her words soaked in. “Come on.” He put out his hand.
She just stared at him.
“Ash. Come on.”
Ash. It was the first time he’d called her that since returning. And it was like a blanket thrown over her shoulders on a winter day. Like a chocolate chip cookie straight out of the oven.
Like coming home after a long trip.
Slowly, Ashley reached out and accepted his hand—and nearly sighed at the immediate warmth of her fingers tucked inside his.
Derek led her out the front door and to his beat-up blue Jeep. Without speaking, he took her notebook and purse from her, stuck them in the back, and grabbed a few water bottles before handing her one. Then Derek locked the doors and snagged her hand again.
The air was crisp and cool, a beautiful seventy degrees or so, and as they walked down the long driveway of the lodge, dead leaves and rocks crunched beneath their feet. Today, she’d opted for her nicest jeans, a blazer with three-quarter-length sleeves, and comfy flats—a good thing if she were right about Derek’s intentions.
And yeah, it was most definitely wrong of her, but she allowed herself to relish the feel of her hand in his. His fingers had always been slightly roughened from all the work he did around the vineyard. But instead of chafing a
gainst her skin, his calluses served as an anchor, holding her hand more securely so it didn’t slip.
They crossed the property until they got to a service road they’d frequented many times together before. A small wooden sign was the only thing marking this as a sanctioned hiking trail, one that locals had managed to keep a secret from tourists so it wouldn’t become overcrowded.
As they passed the sign, Ashley’s shoulders relaxed. The gentle slope of the trail, the twittering of birds high above them, the commingled smell of pine needles and ocean were all as familiar as breathing.
“Feeling a little better?”
“Yes, actually.”
“Good.” He dropped her hand and kicked at a rock, shoulders hunched forward as they moved down the trail.
“Thanks for bringing me here. I’ve always loved it.” Always loved being here with you.
“Being out in nature has a way of calming me down.” He peeked at her for a moment. “I thought it might work for you too.”
“Always the problem solver.”
That got a smile, albeit a sad one. “Some problems are easier than others to solve.”
What other problems were weighing on his shoulders?
A slow ache ambled through her whole body. Ashley wanted her friend back—the one who had told her everything. She’d been the first person he’d confided in about the full extent of his dad’s illness, what it meant, even how he felt about it.
Ashley bit the inside of her cheek. Claire was the person he’d tell those things to now. He didn’t need Ashley.
And she needed to stop needing him.
“Maybe talking about the past—how you used to feel, how things used to be—would go a long way in helping you heal.” Madison’s words from three days ago drifted back to her.
But even if she wanted to, how was Ashley supposed to go about starting a conversation like that?
A butterfly floated past her nose and landed on a nearby log. Two squirrels scampered along the trail in front of them and raced each other up a tree. Amazingly, the only companions they’d met along the path today had been of the animal variety.
This was a world unto themselves, a sliver of time that belonged only to them. If she were going to talk to Derek—really talk to him—then where better to do it?
She stopped.
Derek looked back at her, tilting his head. “Everything okay?”
Ashley inhaled sharply, studying him. “Why did you only call me once when you were in France?”
A shadow crossed his face. “Ash.”
“No.” She marched toward him until they stood nearly toe to toe. “I need to know, Derek.”
For a moment, he refused to look at her. But finally, he lowered his chocolate gaze to hers. Oh, a girl could get lost in those eyes.
But not today. Today, she needed answers. “Why, when I tried calling and texting and emailing you several times, did you act like our friendship meant nothing to you?”
He opened his mouth as if to speak, then shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.” Maneuvering around her, he started back down the trail toward the trailhead.
“It matters to me.” She stood her ground, waiting for him to turn around. Praying he would.
His gaze remained on the path ahead. “Just drop it, Ashley.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?” His fingers gripped his water bottle so hard she heard the crinkle of the plastic from ten feet away. “It doesn’t do any good to dig up the past.”
Ugh, the infuriating man and his logic. For just once, couldn’t he show he was capable of feeling something? “It does if it’s still affecting the present or the future.”
“It’s not.”
“Maybe for you. But it’s not all about you, Derek!” A few birds on a nearby branch flew away as her raised voice echoed through the trees. Ashley’s chest heaved.
Derek finally turned to look at her. His jaw had slackened, but he didn’t say anything. Only stared.
He just didn’t get it—and he never would. She’d been stupid to bring it up in the first place. What could it really accomplish except remind her that her brother had been right?
“Forget it. I’ll see you later.” She turned on her heel, heading deeper into the forest away from him, longing to break into a run. If she had on her Brooks, there’d be no question, but her current shoes would only leave her with a twisted ankle to go with her smarting heart.
Ashley picked up the pace, climbing the ever-increasing slope of the trail until she reached wide stone steps that led up to a treeless bluff overlooking the ocean. She’d taken the first two steps when she heard footsteps behind her.
“Ash, wait.”
She pivoted. “You didn’t have to follow—” But she’d miscalculated the depth of the step and twisted off the edge completely. Ashley’s water bottle went flying, and her squeak got muffled in Derek’s broad chest as he caught her mid-fall.
He wrapped his arms around her, cocooning her in safety. His heartbeat pounded in time with her own.
For a moment, Ashley kept her hands where they’d landed against his stomach. Then, as if of their own accord, her fingers trailed along his middle. He sucked in a breath as she hooked her arms around his lower back and laid her head in the crook of his chest, breathing in the scent that was all his.
And she never wanted to leave, even though she knew she had to.
He rested his chin against her forehead, and they stood there, breathing, waiting—for what, she wasn’t quite sure, but she didn’t want anything to break the sanctity of this moment.
Finally, Derek spoke. “The reason I only called you once was because it hurt too much to talk to you.”
At that, she pulled her head back to look up at him. The firm set of his mouth showed her there was no tease in his statement. No hint of a lie. Only the truth. “What do you mean?”
“You lied to me.”
“What? When?”
“Before I left. We were supposed to meet at Mimosa’s. You canceled at the last minute. Said you were sick.”
Dread pooled in her stomach. Because yes, she had done that. She’d been so excited, thinking that Derek had finally asked her on a date. That’s how she’d interpreted it, anyway. But then Ben …
He continued. “The next day I was getting some soup to bring you and ran into Shannon at Ms. Josephine’s. I asked if she knew how you were doing and she said you’d been fine when hanging out the night before.”
Ashley blinked up at him. A piece of brown hair hung in his eyes, and she nearly reached up to push it away, to push away the pain in his eyes. “Derek …”
“It’s fine. Like I said, no use digging up the past. Still, I don’t want you thinking of me as some jerk who didn’t care about you.” His gaze swept her face and he dropped his arms from around her. “But why did you lie?”
Stepping away from him, she huffed out an incredulous laugh and wrapped her arms around her middle. “It wasn’t quite a lie. I realized how ridiculous I was being, and it did make me sick to my stomach.”
He lifted an eyebrow.
Great. She’d have to explain, as embarrassing as it would be. You’re the one who wanted to get things out into the open. She could kick herself for that impulse right about now. “I’m sorry I didn’t elaborate at the time. But I couldn’t face you.”
Ashley turned and studied a nearby tree as if the bark were the most fascinating thing she’d ever seen. Anything to avoid seeing Derek’s face when he realized the truth about the depth of her feelings—what they’d been, anyway. No way was she divulging her heart’s traitorous longings as of late.
She sucked in a breath of courage. “I thought you’d asked me on a date. And I was being all dumb and twirling and humming getting ready for it, and Ben stuck his head into my doorway and asked what was going on, and when I told him you’d asked me out, he shook his head and reminded me of the crush I had on you in high school—”
“You liked me in high school?”
“Anyway, he reminded me that I’d followed you around with puppy dog eyes back then and that I was still doing it, all these years later, and that you only saw me as a friend. He didn’t want me getting hurt like he had—that was not too long after Elena dumped him—and warned me that my love … er, affection for you was way too obvious, not just to him but to everyone in town. So I canceled on you because I was afraid that you would see that I’d misinterpreted what you’d meant as just another hangout, and things would never be the same between us again.”
Oh, goodness. She had not meant for all of that to come tumbling out. Guess her emotions had been more stoppered than she’d realized.
Derek was quiet behind her. Served her right. She picked at a piece of bark dangling from the tree, pulling at it until it came clean off, revealing a gentle green layer.
Then he was beside her, the sides of their arms touching. “Ben may be my best friend, but he can be a real idiot sometimes.”
She jerked her head up. “What do you mean?”
He stared straight ahead at the tree, at the verdant proof of life that had been hiding under the dead, rough bark. “Because, Ash. I was asking you out on a date. I was crazy about you.”
Oh. Ooooh.
“I wonder what would have happened if he hadn’t interfered.” Then, finally, he looked at her.
Her heart started to pound as she studied Derek’s face—the long slope of his nose, the chiseled cheekbones, the strong jaw, the piercing dark eyes. He lifted an eyebrow, but if he were waiting for a response, there wasn’t much Ashley could say. The only response she wanted to give wasn’t safe.
Because … He. Was. Engaged.
“I guess we’ll never know.” Ashley forced herself to take a step back toward the trail. She located her fallen water bottle and picked it up. “Come on. We have a wedding venue to find.”