Misconception

by Christy Hayes

  Jason felt relieved and…guilty, very guilty for having her followed. If Pace was having an affair and he’d been gone for three whole days, wouldn’t she have made time to see her lover while the coast was clear? The attached bill for DeAngelo’s services, a whopping three grand, made him wonder if his money would have been better spent with Dr. Falcon, whom he hadn’t seen in weeks.

  He was about to flip off the computer when he saw an email from Bisbain, his client in New York.

  Dear Jason,

  I’ve attached the latest notes from Mr. Bisbain and Mr. Thompson from your recent meeting. Mr. Bisbain would like for you to look them over and let him know if there is anything that needs amending.

  On a personal note, you looked really tired when you were here last week. I hope you’re getting some much needed rest and staying warm in this cold weather.

  Hope to see you soon,

  Deborah

  He reread the email sent from the receptionist. It sounded so inappropriate, her using his first name and yet calling her employers by their formal names, actually including a personal note commenting on how he’d looked at the meeting. He’d never had someone behave so unprofessionally and yet it made him feel guilty instead of mad. Had he provoked her somehow? Did she know what a distraction she was whenever he saw her?

  She was twenty-three. She’d told him the last time he saw her when she was smoking outside the building when he’d come in. “You’d think at twenty-three I’d know better than to do this,” she’d said with a lift of her shoulders. “I’m quitting.” She’d stomped on the half-smoked cigarette. “I’m down to two a day.”

  A twenty-three-year-old knock-out sent him personal notes where, if he wasn’t mistaken, she was flirting. In her last email, she’d commented on the tie he wore on his first trip to New York. He’d been tempted to write back that he’d be sure to thank his wife, who’d bought the tie, but instead he’d let it go. And so the emails continued.

  Had he given off signals that his marriage was on shaky ground? Had he looked as lonely as he felt? Was she desperate? He couldn’t respond to the email, couldn’t lead her to think he wanted any sort of personal relationship with her, but if he were being honest, he’d have to admit he felt a little thrilled at the attention. He and Pace, for all intents and purposes, were no better than roommates.

  He’d woken up in the middle of the night before he’d left and wandered into their bedroom. He’d stood at the door and watched her sleep, her arm tucked under her pillow and her hair all around her face. He’d thought back to the first time they’d woken up together, in his tiny apartment on that squeaky double bed he’d had. He’d woken up first and watched her eyes open, watched her confusion change to delight when she saw him. Her cheeks had turned red even as she’d smiled. She’d looked like he felt when he’d woken up and found her in his bed, like he’d had the best dream and realized it wasn’t a dream.

  Jason had wanted so badly to kiss her, to rub his hands under her gown and be inside her before she fully woke up. But he’d just watched her sleep and went back to the guest room. It wasn’t just the sex he missed and he really missed the sex. He missed Pace and everything they’d had together.

  He’d been thinking about what Dr. Falcon said. He needed to decide. He may never have proof and he sure as hell couldn’t spend three grand a week having her followed every time he left town. He wanted to believe her and Falcon was right—Jason wouldn’t be in therapy or living with Pace if he really thought she’d cheated. Trey was just up to his old bullshit and Jason had played right into his hands. He should send DeAngelo’s bill to Trey.

  At one point during a session with Dr. Falcon, not long after Pace had discovered he was widowed with a kid, when Jason asked him if he thought she’d cheated, he really thought he was going to call him a selfish bastard because he was throwing away something Falcon would kill to have back. He saw it on his face, in a quick look and an impatient gesture before he collected himself and told Jason to decide. As he stared at the computer screen, where a young girl’s attempt at flattery made him confused, he was ready to put it all behind him and start over. There was never really an alternative.

  Chapter 18

  Pace heard the garage open from their bedroom just above it, felt the floor vibrate as if she was standing on an electric razor, and took a deep breath. It was after nine on a Thursday night and the kids were in bed and sound asleep. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and hoped her attempt at seduction would work. She ran her hand over her stomach and felt it glide over the silk negligee that was Jason’s favorite, watched the red material shimmy in the dimmed light.

  She’d lit candles and the scent of black current lingered in the air, hopeful and sexy. Please, she silently prayed as the door downstairs opened and closed, his footsteps moved to the stairs, slow with the weight of his carry on. If he didn’t wander into their bedroom to see what smelled good, he should at least have to unpack.

  Pace stood by the bed as candlelight flickered over the room. The door was cracked, waiting, inviting. First she saw his fingers, the tapered ends pushing open the door, then all of him. He looked a little bit dangerous standing in the near dark, his expression unreadable. He didn’t enter the room or move away, but just stood there in the doorway with his suit coat folded over one arm, his tie loosened, the top button undone. He set his suitcase down and stared at her.

  What did he think? Could he see her heart rapping beneath the thin material? Could he hear the breath enter and exit her lungs as if she waited for a punch? Could he see the tremble in her hands and legs?

  He stepped inside the room and then turned to close the door. She thought she heard the click of the lock, but couldn’t be sure what she heard over the drum beat of her heart. He walked toward her, slowly, and stopped in front of her. The light flickered over the angles of his face, slid off the slick black ends of his hair. He had just a hint of a shadow on his chin and Pace knew if he gave her the chance, she’d feel the scrape of his whiskers on her skin. He tossed his jacket over the footboard. Her eyelids dropped as his fingers snaked through her hair, as he pulled her into him, into the long length of him, and into his kiss. With one gentle brush of his lips, everything from the past month rolled away like a stone down a steep hill. It was like every kiss they’d ever shared and unlike any other.

  They trembled, both of them, their lips hovering, their eyes locked like a couple of gunslingers waiting for the other to make their move. When he said her name, it sounded like a promise whispered in the dark. Pace wrapped her arms around his waist and held him tight.

  She ached to feel his skin against hers, taste his flesh, take him inside of her. She could smell the aftershave on his skin, some hotel shampoo in his hair, and as she removed his tie and unbuttoned his shirt, she felt his heart hammer beneath her palms. This was what she’d needed, what she’d missed. Pace didn’t want the understanding words of her father, her neighbor’s support, or her kids’ perfect behavior. She needed Jason. He was all she’d ever needed.

  “Pace.” He pushed her back against the bed and she thrilled at the intensity of his need. How had she forgotten his hunger? They’d never gone so long without making love, not in all the years they’d been together and they were both ravenous. His touch felt urgent and yet gentle; hurried, but not frantic. Every kiss, every sigh erased all the harsh words they’d said and the veiled accusations. The feel of his breath on her skin, the taste of him, the rough brush of his stubble, brought such pleasure and relief as he fed her with his body. She’d worried all night that if he came to her, they’d fumble or be awkward with each other. She’d worried for nothing.

  When Pace’s head began to clear and she opened her eyes, Jason had wedged his face between her neck and shoulder, his breath panting in rhythm with her pulse. She ran her hands through his hair and smiled. Her body felt alive and weightless and she could have drifted off to sleep with very little effort. Relief felt like a tidal wave washing over her, leaving
her breathless and void of energy. When he tried to move off of her, she gripped him tight. “No, don’t leave me yet.”

  Her husband, her lover, her whole world, lay trapped in the hold of her arms and legs. “I’m not leaving you.” In his words, Pace heard a vow of forever, one she had feared would never come.

  When she woke, they lay tangled together. Maybe they were both afraid if they let go during the night, the other would slip away. Pace immediately worried that their night together, the hours they’d spent loving each other, wouldn’t mean any more to him than a physical release. But when he opened his eyes and she saw in the clear green depths the love she’d always known was there, she started to cry with relief.

  “Baby.” He kissed away her tears. “I love you, Pace.” And then he did, even when they heard the boys waking up, the shuffle of their feet down the hall, the jostling of the knob that Jason had so rightly locked the night before. He loved her and she loved him in return. Her heart, at long blessed last, was whole again.

  * * *

  Pace sprawled beneath Jason, her legs crossed in a vise against his ass. Her skin looked flushed and her mouth swollen from his. He’d always liked to watch her face after they made love. It was her face he’d noticed first, the big soulful eyes, the flawless skin, the little cleft in her chin. She had only grown more beautiful and he recognized her beauty in their children.

  She groaned and stretched her arms above her head before threading her fingers through his hair. “I guess we should get up, get the boys ready for school.” But he didn’t want to leave the bed or leave her body. She didn’t let him go right away, just shifted to look at the clock.

  “Urrrrr,” she said and dropped her legs, slowly untangled her hands from his hair. Jason didn’t move off of her. “It’s later than I thought.” They stared at each other. “Are we okay?” she whispered.

  Jason nodded and watched her eyes close in relief. She clutched his shoulders and he rolled over to bring her on top of him. He wished they had more time and he was about to say, “Fuck it,” when they heard a knock on the door.

  “Daddy? Mommy?” It was Mitchell, his voice froggy from sleep. “Are you getting up?”

  “I’ll be right out, bud,” Pace called over Jason’s shoulder. She looked back at Jason, her face serious. “I love you so much, Jason. I’ve missed you so much.”

  “I know, baby.” Jason sat up so they were facing each other. “I’m working through it.”

  She cupped his cheek with her hand and rubbed her thumb over his chin. He could see in the morning light he’d scratched the delicate skin of her neck. “I’d never let another man touch me, Jason. It’s only ever been you.”

  He believed her. For the first time in weeks, when she said she didn’t cheat on him, he believed her completely. He never thought they’d get back to this place, no matter how boggy it still felt, but he was relieved to have come this far.

  * * *

  Colin’s talk with Pace must have changed something because she sounded normal when Tori talked to her, happy even. The fact that she’d called meant things were good. Tori felt more relieved than she thought she’d be. It was like pulling teeth to get information out of Colin about their lunch. “She seemed fine to me,” he’d said with a shrug. Colin could barely give her ten minutes when he came in afterward to change and head back out for a dinner she’d opted out of. “I told her we’d support her no matter what she decides about her marriage.”

  “Did you actually suggest she leave her marriage?” She couldn’t believe he’d insinuate that’s what they wanted. Jason hadn’t been her first choice for Pace, certainly hadn’t even been in the running, but to recommend divorce…

  “I told her we’d be there for her, no matter what.”

  “What did she say? Is that what she’s thinking?”

  He came out of the closet in his tux and asked her to help with his tie. He’d never been able to do it alone. “She said they were going through something, so I guess you were right. Ouch, Tor. Not so tight.” He was lucky she hadn’t strangled him with it. Whatever he’d said, whatever they were going through must have passed because Pace seemed back to normal.

  There was a time, back when they were dating, that she would have done anything to get Pace away from Jason. She and Pace fought during that time more than they ever had and, considering the amount of fighting they’d done while Pace lived at home, it was amazing they still spoke to one another.

  Jason had been wrong for her from the beginning, with his cocky attitude and nomadic background. She’d hoped and prayed their dating had been Pace’s idea of rebellion. Until they married. God, what a nightmare. Her only child, a daughter no less, betrothed to an absolute nobody with less potential than her fingernail. But he’d proved her wrong. She imagined his degree in architecture only masked his true identity an artistic drifter, but he’d quickly advanced in his field and now worked with a man she’d heard some call a master. She wouldn’t go so far to say that she was proud to have him as a son-in-law, but he’d certainly exceeded her expectations, both in making Pace happy and with his career.

  If they just didn’t live in the suburbs. Tori had been thrilled when they’d decided to stay in Atlanta when they could have settled anywhere in the country, but she’d never understood why they choose their cookie-cutter neighborhood amid chain restaurants and strip malls. Practically everyone else Pace had grown up with lived in town and belonged to the club. It was a little embarrassing to announce where her daughter had chosen to live, as if she couldn’t make enough of herself to afford their area. But if that was the worst of it, Tori knew she’d gotten pretty lucky.

  Colin had been gone quite a bit lately, stumping through the state and back and forth to Washington, so avoiding her confrontation with him had been pretty easy. If only it was as easy to avoid Caroline. She kept calling, but thanks to the birth of Bethany’s third child, she’d been out-of-town and more than a little preoccupied.

  She thought Colin had possibly ended his affair or at least she’d hoped he had. They’d made love twice since she’d received the pictures and if he seemed distracted, Tori felt certain it was a result of the campaign and a surge by his recently-announced challenger in a poll. The more Colin reached out to her, the more he insisted she attend this function or that function either with him or in his place, the more she realized her fears of him leaving were unfounded. He needed her, in his heart and in his political corner. His campaign, the very thing that had caused his infidelity over the years, seemed to have sucked her back into his life. She tried very hard to feel grateful.

  Chapter 19

  Jason felt like a two ton weight had fallen off his shoulders. He and Pace were back to normal, for the most part. He never realized how quiet the house had been in the last month until the boys returned to their boisterous selves, wrestling, fighting, and laughing. It was so damn good to hear them laugh again. Even the dog seemed to have calmed down.

  He grabbed Pace from behind Saturday afternoon while she was doing the dishes and kissed her neck. “What do you say we sneak off to the bedroom?” He looked around the corner at the boys watching cartoons in the den. “They’ll never notice.”

  He could feel her heart pounding beneath his fingers and saw her pulse jump along her neck. She had the sexiest neck, all soft and slender. Everything about her was soft and slender. “Jason…”

  When she turned around to face him, he could tell it wouldn’t take much for her to agree. He smiled as he stared at her, remembering.

  “What are you smiling at?” she asked.

  “I was just thinking about the last time we made love in the middle of the day.”

  A little line formed between her brows and then the corners of her mouth twitched. “The closet.”

  Jason nodded. “The closet.” A year ago, maybe, Mitchell had started waking up in the middle of the night and calling for them. He had sonar, Jason used to think. Every time he’d reached for Pace, had worked them both up into a frenz
y, Mitchell either sauntered into the room or started howling from down the hall. Jason had come home early one afternoon because he seriously thought they’d never make love again. Pace was going through the kids’ closets, pulling out clothes that didn’t fit, rearranging toys and blankets. He’d found her in Mitchell’s tiny walk in closet, up on a step latter, her shirt rising over the waistband of her pants as she reached for something on the top shelf. She screamed when he startled her, screamed again as he made her come. Her feet never did touch the ground.

  Jason pulled her away from the kitchen amidst her half-hearted protests. “The bed, now. And neither one of us is leaving until we absolutely have to.”

  They were halfway up the stairs when the phone rang and she sagged back into his chest. “I’ll get it,” he said and turned Pace in his arms to look her in the eye. “You’d better be naked in bed when I get there.”