by Daisy May
This was such a load of bullshit. Okay, I’d been relieved she was still alive when the paramedics arrived. I’d been too scared to get close to her and check. But I didn’t come here to save her life after what looked a lot like a drug overdose! I came to get what was mine, and she was currently bleeding dry whatever nest egg she had. Even a quick stay here could cost thousands of dollars, if not tens of thousands.
I should’ve known Laney wouldn’t be in a good place when I found her. Nothing I’d seen in my search for her had led me to believe he’d be either healthy or wealthy. Still, this was worse than I’d ever expected. I’d really been banking on her being able to give me at least a few grand. What was I going to do with myself now?
“Sir?” A tired-looking nurse emerged from the other room and waved me in. “The doctor would like to update you about your mother.”
I followed her into the room, where Laney lay unconscious on the bed, hooked up to an IV. An older man introduced himself as Dr. Baylor. “It appears that your mother overdosed on opioids,” he said. “Do you know anything about her substance use?”
I shook my head, not wanting to get into the full explanation. I’d told them I was her son, since it was the truth. The specifics of our relationship were hardly relevant.
“This must come as quite a shock to you,” he said sympathetically. “I would guess she’s been abusing prescription medication for a while. It’s a good thing you found her when you did. We’ve given her naloxone, and she’s going to be all right. If you’d found her even a few minutes later, we wouldn’t have been able to do much for her.”
I couldn’t help a small shiver. “How long do you think it’ll take her to recover? We can’t afford much help.”
“Don’t worry, there are payment plans. Right now, we want to focus on getting your mother well again.”
I made a face. I’d gone twenty-three years without Laney in my life, and I expected to go another fifty or sixty more. All I needed from her was one thing, and this doctor was acting like I was supposed to care about her.
It was a normal thing to assume. Most people did love their mothers. If it was Celeste in the hospital, Andy would be freaking the hell out. I half-smiled, thinking about how he’d probably move into Celeste’s hospital room and interrogate her doctors about every new development.
But I wasn’t supposed to be thinking about Andy.
“I need a timeframe of how long she might have to stay here,” I said, wiping all traces of the smile off my face. “A day? A week? A month?”
“She should be able to leave within the next few days,” he said. “A week at the most. She won’t be out of the woods as soon as she goes home, though. An overdose like this is a come-to-Jesus moment for a lot of users, but not all. Many go straight back to using.”
That wasn’t my problem.
“You’ll be wanting to get her into rehab as soon as possible,” he went on. “If you don’t, anything could happen.”
I nodded politely, suppressing my irritation. I couldn’t stand when people told me what I would or wouldn’t want to do.
“I’ll give you a few minutes with her,” he said. “Visiting hours go until ten, and you can come back tonight as well.”
“Do you think she’ll be conscious by tonight?”
“Probably, yes.”
He left, meaning I was alone with Laney for the first time since I’d found out she wasn’t dead. I sat at the edge of her bed and looked down at her, noticing the similarities between her features and mine. I had to admit, as cold-hearted as I was, I felt a little something from being near her. And yeah, I was glad she was going to live.
“Hi, Laney,” I whispered, watching her breathe slowly in and out. “I’m your son, Tyler. Bet you weren’t expecting to see me here, huh?”
There was no response, other than the hum of all the machinery in the room. I swallowed, feeling oddly awkward considering she wasn’t even awake to talk to me. I’d definitely never prepared for this situation, and I felt wildly out of my depth.
“I’m going to go through your pocket, unless you tell me not to,” I said. “I’m sorry, but I don’t have much of a choice. I have no place to stay and barely any money.” I watched her face closely. “You have three seconds to wake up and stop me from looking in there. Three… two… one.”
She didn’t move or open her eyes, so I reached for the purse that lay on the side table. The paramedics had urged me to bring it while we were coming here, and now I was glad they had. I dug out her wallet, then a key ring.
“You know, I would’ve thought I’d go through my mom’s purse as a teen,” I whispered. “Better late than never, I guess.”
I took the cash from her wallet – only fifty bucks – and her credit card, which I hoped she hadn’t maxed out already. I was going to have to stay at her place, since I had nowhere near enough money to stay anywhere else in town.
As I walked out of the hospital, I wondered if I shouldn’t just leave town. I didn’t have the money to fly to Mexico, or even take the bus. But I was a lot closer than I had been before, and I could hitchhike there in no time.
Once I arrived, the cost of living would be cheap, and I could figure out some way to make a few bucks. If nothing else, I could call my adoptive father and try to guilt him into sending me a wire transfer. It wouldn’t be as much as I could get out of him in person, but since he was on the opposite coast, it’d be too much work for me to get there.
The idea appealed to me… but as I hailed a cab, I already knew I wouldn’t go through with it.
Laney had almost died. And she didn’t seem to have anybody else who cared about her. I needed to stick around for a little while – at least until she’d recovered from her overdose and I could make sure she got into rehab.
What was this? Had I suddenly developed a conscience?
If that was what this was, I didn’t like it.
*
I was dozing in the hard plastic chair in Laney’s room, my half-asleep mind imagining a world where things weren’t fucked up and actually made sense. An unfamiliar voice brought me out of my dreams.
“H… hello?”
Waking up, I took in the sight of Laney’s pale, drawn face. Her eyes were open, and they were the same shade of hazel as mine.
My heart jumped, and I swallowed. “Hi.”
“Who are you?” She blinked at me. “Where am I?”
“The second question is easier to answer.” I cleared my throat. “You’re in the Oakland hospital. You had an overdose. You could’ve died.”
“Oh.” She seemed surprisingly unsurprised by that information. “Are you a nurse? You’re not wearing scrubs.” She frowned. “You look a little familiar. Have we met before?”
“Once.” I managed a small smile.
I’d imagined this moment so many times. I’d planned out how I was going to curse her out and blame her irresponsibility for all of the problems I’d had in my life. Whether I believed my own words or not didn’t really matter. As long as she believed she’d ruined my life by giving me up for adoption, I could finesse her into giving me every cent she’d saved since she’d abandoned me.
Now that I was here, I was finding it harder than I’d expected to be so cold. For one thing, she was sick and vulnerable. It was hard to hate someone when they were at their lowest. And she’d had such a close brush with death. I’d saved her life, and somehow I felt like it’d put me in her debt rather than the other way around.
Or was there another reason for my feelings? When I’d first searched for Laney, when I’d thought Andy’s mom was her, I’d been as cold as I’d intended to be. I’d been cruel and calculating with Celeste up to the point I realized she wasn’t my biological mother. Maybe I’d changed in the past couple of months.
Maybe the time I’d spent with Andy had changed me.
“I’m sorry,” Laney said, looking more exhausted than ever. “I can’t seem to place you.”
“That’s okay,” I said, more gently t
han I’d intended to. “It’s been a long time since we’ve met. Twenty-three years, in fact.”
She frowned, seeming utterly confused. “I was only sixteen twenty-three years ago. I…” Realization dawned on his face. “You’re him. Aren’t you?” Her voice grew thick with emotion. “My baby son.”
I’d always thought I was heartless… and yet as a tear dripped from her eye, I felt an odd warmth in my chest. This woman had remembered me all these years. She’d thought about me, just like I’d thought about her. Wondered how I was, and what I was doing with my life.
“It’s me,” I said, overcome with emotion. “I finally found you.”
As I bent down to embrace her, I pushed aside the inner voice telling me that I was straying from the plan. I could return to the plan later. In fact, getting to know Laney and bonding with her could make her even more likely to give me whatever money she had.
At least, that was what I was telling myself.
TWENTY-TWO – ANDY
On Friday night I was at Mom’s place as usual, listening to Jeremy tell us about the date he had set up for later that night. As usual.
“This girl has a master’s degree in philosophy,” he said, digging into his stuffed peppers. “Can you believe it? Why would anyone get a master’s degree in philosophy?”
“People get master’s degrees in all sorts of things,” Mom said mildly.
“If you’re already disrespecting her education, why are you going on a date with her?” I asked. “Call her up and tell her to get a master’s in something you approve of if she wants a chance with you.”
“I’m going because she’s hot. Duh.” He rolled his eyes. “Like, ten out of ten. Eleven, even.”
“Ah, so it doesn’t matter how ridiculous her degree is as long as she looks good.” I rolled my eyes right back at him. “How very progressive of you.” The good thing was that this woman sounded way too smart to go for my brother. She’d probably take one look and see right through his bullshit.
“Enough with the bickering, you two.” Mom took a sip of water.
“Andy has no right to give me shit about my love life,” Jeremy said to him, then turned to me. “Maybe when you go on a date again, you can have an opinion about my dates.”
I smirked. “Good thing I also have a date later tonight, then.”
“What?” they both said at once. I’d known they’d be shocked, but not this shocked. I guessed it really had been a long time since I’d gone out with anyone.
“I have a date,” I repeated, looking down at my plate.
“With who?” Jeremy asked. “A live, human male?”
“No, a robot,” I said sarcastically. “Yes, a human! We’ve been talking online for a few days. He seems nice.”
“You mean you’re on a dating site?” Mom’s mildness was gone. Her smile was cautious, but her eyes were ecstatic. “You’re actively trying to meet someone?”
I shrugged self-consciously, wishing I hadn’t thrust myself into the spotlight. Surely I could’ve waited to tell my family until after something had actually happened. I was used to telling them everything, though. It’d been hard enough to zip my lips about the full story of what’d happened between me and Tyler.
“I made a profile,” I said. “He messaged me, I responded. It took, like, zero effort.”
“But you never made a profile before,” Jeremy said, still sounding wary. “You always said you didn’t have time. Now you’re ditching work for days and meeting up with random guys. Why the sudden change?”
“You both know the reason I went on the road trip,” I said.
“Not really,” Jeremy said. “Still confused about that, actually.”
“Anyway, it kind of reminded me there’s more to life than work and sleep,” I said, ignoring his unspoken question. “I made the profile on a whim, and this guy came along. I haven’t messaged anyone else, so if this doesn’t go anywhere, it’ll be a one-time thing. And I don’t expect it to go anywhere.”
“Why are you so pessimistic?” Mom asked. “Does he not seem like your type?”
“I don’t have a type.”
I’d never dated enough to pick one. I knew I liked men I could have a good conversation with, who shared my sense of humor. That was about it. It should’ve been simple, but unfortunately, that description fit few people. Except maybe… Tyler.
But he was gone, and he was never going to talk to me again, so I wasn’t going to think about him like that. Or at all.
“Then why do you think you won’t like this guy?” Jeremy asked.
“I don’t like most people.” I paused, surprised by their laughter. “Not enough to date,” I clarified.
“Well, keep your mind open,” Mom said. “You never know.” She was trying to look calm, but practically bouncing with excitement.
“Yeah,” Jeremy said. “This could be the love of your life.”
I snorted. “As if.”
*
At nine o’clock, I arrived at the jazz bar where the man and I were supposed to meet for drinks. I didn’t see anyone around who looked like the pictures on his profile, so I got a table for two and waited, watching the live pianist do his thing.
After five minutes, I started to worry. After fifteen, I debated whether I should leave. I hadn’t ordered anything yet, and I didn’t enjoy jazz music enough to sit and stay by myself with the whole staff knowing I’d been stood up.
Actually, jazz music got on my nerves after a while, just like classical. Don’t think about Tyler.
A man appeared beside the table. “Hi, Andy?”
“Oh!” I stood up. “You must be Dan.” I gave him an awkward half-hug, unsure of the protocol. “I was just starting to wonder where you were.”
“I’m so sorry! I got caught in traffic.”
There’d been no traffic when I was coming here, but it was a bit early to be calling him a liar.
Dan sat down across from me, allowing me to get a better look at him. He looked like his pictures – other than being significantly older. His face showed wrinkles and sagging that definitely hadn’t been visible on his profile. Was he really thirty, like he claimed? Or had he lied about his age, too?
“Have you been here before?” I asked.
“Yeah, I used to date one of the waiters.” Before I could digest that, a waiter arrived at our table. Dan got up and hugged him with a squeal. “Hey, you!”
Okay, so we were being served by his ex. Maybe they were still good friends with no feelings left between them, like me and Wright. This date could still have potential. At the very least, it’d be a funny story to tell later – if I had anyone outside my family to tell funny stories to.
I bet Tyler would find it hilarious. But again, I wouldn’t be talking to Tyler. I bit my lip and looked down.
Dan chattered at the waiter for a few minutes while I sat there in silence. Finally, the man turned to me, digging an order pad out of his apron. “What can I get for you today?” he asked with a vicious smile.
“I haven’t had a chance to look at the menu.”
He left, and I looked at Dan with worry. “Is it a good idea for us to be here? He doesn’t seem to be enjoying seeing you on a date.” He didn’t seem too happy to see Dan at all, for that matter.
“No, no,” he said. “Andrew’s fine.”
Although unconvinced, I took him at his word. When Andrew came back, I ordered scallops in cream sauce. Dan and I made small talk until the food came. We didn’t appear to have much of anything in common, but at least he didn’t actually offend me, the way some people did.
Don’t think about Tyler.
The food was unpleasantly bland, and I wondered if Andrew had made some request to the chef about it. Then I got to thinking about what else he could’ve done with it, and lost my appetite entirely. I pushed the scallops around my plate, more enthusiastic about my glass of wine. We’d ordered a whole bottle, and I was powering through my share faster than Dan was.
“What do you do for
fun?” Dan asked, digging into his slab of steak with none of my hesitation.
An uncreative question deserved an uncreative answer. “Not much,” I said. “I mostly work, work out, and spend time with my family.”
“That’s great,” he said, sounding bored. “You have a healthy lifestyle.”
Tyler would’ve told me what he really thought. Enough thinking about Tyler! “Thanks,” I said. “What about you?”
“I like going out to eat or drink with friends.”
I blinked. “Anything else?”
“Not particularly.”
God, this man was more boring than me! And Andrew was shooting me the stink-eye every time he passed our table. When he wasn’t serving other customers, he lurked around the edges of the room, watching us. I was getting more uncomfortable by the minute.
Since the conversation was stalling anyway, I figured I might as well address the elephant in the room. “Did Andrew know you were coming here on a date tonight?”
“Not exactly, but he’s always happy to see me. We had an amicable break-up.”
“He’s not happy to see me,” I said with a grim laugh.
“Don’t worry about it. He’s probably dating again, too. Or if he isn’t, I’m sure he’ll start within the next few months.”
Did that mean it hadn’t even been a few months since their split? Morbid curiosity forced the question out of my mouth. “When exactly did you break up?”
“About three days ago.” Seeing the look of horror on my face, he quickly clarified. “But it wasn’t that serious. We only dated for a year. Only lived together for three months.”
Despite my efforts to control my expression, my jaw dropped. “That sounds pretty serious!” Definitely more so than any of my relationships so far. “Why did you break up?”
He took another bite of his steak. “It’s a little embarrassing,” he said with his mouth full.
