Melt Like Butter

by Daisy May

  It was strange to think about, but being with him just felt so natural. Even though I still didn’t think I deserved him, with his help, I was turning into the kind of person that would.

  I was surprised by how I didn’t feel tied down to him. His presence in my life was a joy, not a burden. He made everything better, and sometimes I wondered how I’d ever gotten by without him. Well, the answer was, I really hadn’t. I’d been miserable up to the point that he came into my life.

  I tucked my pennies away, only spending what I had to. I wanted to pay him back for everything as soon as possible. That was going to be difficult on a busser’s salary, but I’d do my best. I was going to manage it, even if it took me years.

  Except that a few weeks in, I showed up to work like normal. I smiled at my coworkers, who I was getting to know a little bit. They seemed to like me well enough, and now that I’d been working here for a couple of weeks, I didn’t feel like my lack of experience was holding them back anymore.

  But my boss met me at the kitchen door. “Tyler, I’m afraid we’re going to have to let you go.”

  I stared at him in shock. If I’d had anything in my hands, I would’ve dropped it. My mind raced through the past couple of weeks, searching for a reason that they’d want to fire me. I hadn’t done anything wrong. I’d been trying so hard. I’d been on time every day, and I’d never left early, not even once. I didn’t take smoke breaks, like my coworkers. I hadn’t stolen anything. I hadn’t even gossiped about anyone!

  I’d been the perfect employee. Sure, it’d taken me a little while to get the hang of things, but they’d told me this whole time that that was to be expected. They said I was right on track and that I’d be getting promoted to waiter soon. Why would they want to let me go?

  Seeing the look on my face, my boss let out a sigh. “I feel horrible for doing this. You’ve been one of our best new employees. But we hired too many people, and you’re the most recent. We don’t have enough business to justify keeping you on.”

  “So it’s nothing that I did?” I asked.

  “That’s right. I’m sorry. I know it’s not fair.”

  “That’s okay. I understand life isn’t fair.”

  I left the building, alternatingly sad and angry. What was I going to do now? I had to find another job, and getting this one had been hard enough. What if I couldn’t find one? What if I couldn’t pay Andy back? What if I couldn’t get a job and they wouldn’t let me leave the group home – what if they put me back in jail?

  And why did they have to let me go? Part of me didn’t believe what my boss had said. Sure, I was the newest, but if I’d been a better worker, they would’ve chosen me to stay. Had they fired other people? Probably not – it seemed like it was just me.

  I hated myself at that moment. Everything seemed so unfair, and even if I could be philosophical about it in theory, the reality was that I was mad and sad and disappointed. I didn’t know what I could do with myself now.

  I headed over to Andy’s place – he’d given me a key. He was already home, though, and he frowned when he saw me. “What happened? Why aren’t you at work? Are you skipping work?”

  He didn’t trust me – although why should he? My thoughts spiraled to the point that I didn’t know how I could even be here with him.

  “I should go.”

  His frown deepened. “What? Tyler, stay. Tell me what’s going on.”

  I sank against the kitchen counter, covering my face with my hands. “They fired me.”

  “What happened? What did you do?”

  He assumed I’d done something wrong. He didn’t believe in me after all. Like everybody else, he was immediately ready to see the worst in me.

  “I didn’t do anything,” I snapped. “They hired too many people. It’s their fault, not mine.”

  “Oh, Tyler.”

  I peeked at him through my hands. His expression was soft. “It’s okay. This kind of thing happens to everyone. It’s just a small setback – you’ll be fine.”

  “I know that,” I said. “I’m not stupid. But you were ready to think I fucked up somehow. Don’t tell me that you weren’t.”

  I had no right to be angry with him after everything he’d done for me – yet here I was anyway.

  “I’m sorry, Tyler. I like to think I’m treating you right, but I do have to watch out for myself. I see how hard you’re trying, and I do believe in you. But nobody’s perfect. Anyone could snap at a customer or show up late. I don’t know how your work is – I’m not there while you’re working. I’m doing my best to support you, but cut me some slack, okay?”

  He was right. As usual, he was right. Letting out a sigh, I allowed him to put his arms around me.

  “It’s just so hard,” I admitted. “You’re so perfect, and I’m the complete opposite. You have your shit together, and I have nothing.”

  “You’re getting your shit together,” he said. “Little by little, you’ll get there.”

  “I’m going to start applying for more jobs right now,” I said. “I’m not going to wait one more minute.”

  He squeezed my hand.

  With him at my side, I knew I could do anything.

  THIRTY-TWO – ANDY

  It was February. Tyler’s time at the group home was coming to an end, and I’d invited him to move in with me.

  He’d been working as a waiter at a quirky little fusion place for a few months, and he was loving it. He took home a pile of tips every night, and he often came home with food as well. The cooks at his job were even going to make me gain a few pounds if this went on.

  Although I’d told him over and over that he didn’t have to, he’d paid me back every cent that I’d lent him – with interest. He hadn’t gone out for food or drinks for months. He’d taken public transportation instead of getting a car. He’d hardly spent any unnecessary money at all until he’d paid me back in full.

  Everything was going well between us, and I felt like it was going fairly well at my job, too – except I hadn’t heard anything about a possible promotion. The last time I’d asked was months ago, and my boss had said they weren’t planning to promote anybody for a while.

  Tyler kept telling me to bug them again. He said they wouldn’t think to make me senior accountant unless I made a big deal about it. He said I had to make my needs and desires known, or they wouldn’t know about them. He reminded me that was how he and I had initially gotten together, and I couldn’t argue with that.

  So today, I was going to bring it up with my boss. I’d prepared a list of my recent achievements, and I was fully prepared to explain why I believed I could take on the responsibilities of a senior accountant.

  I’d dressed more formally than usual, with one of my nicest suits and a handcrafted silk tie. As I checked my appearance in the mirror, I had to say I looked like a badass.

  “Go get ‘em, tiger,” Tyler said, smacking me on the ass.

  “You’re going to wrinkle my pants.” I glared at him, but I was giggling.

  My heart beat fast for my entire drive to the office. When I knocked on my boss’s door, it was actually pounding.

  “Good morning,” he said. “I was hoping to talk to you soon. Come sit down.”

  I placed my folder on the desk in front of me. “Great! I’ve been meaning to have this chat with you for a while.” I opened the folder. “I think I’m ready to become a senior accountant. I have some –”

  “Yes,” he said.

  “Excuse me?”

  “I don’t need to see any of that. I’ve spoken to the other partners, and we’re ready to promote you.”

  “But… I prepared all of this…”

  He smiled at me gently. “You’re welcome to go through it if you’d like, but we already know you’re more than capable of everything the job entails. And you have been for a long time.”

  I frowned. I should’ve been happy, but I was more confused. “Then why did you keep me waiting?”

  “The problem was that, as goo
d as you were technically, your social skills were not the best,” he said. “You were cold to everyone, and you didn’t seem to want to connect with your coworkers. You did the work, and that was all. Something has changed in the past few months. You’re warmer, more pleasant. You seem more interested in the people around you. The other staff and our clients have remarked on it.”

  I blinked. It was painful to hear myself described in those terms, and yet he was complimenting me now, so how was I supposed to feel?

  “I don’t know what you’ve done to yourself,” he said, “if you’ve joined Toastmasters or if you got into therapy or what. Whatever it is, though, keep doing it.”

  Oh, I knew what I’d done. Tyler. “I will,” I said, almost in a whisper.

  “Then the job is yours. Congratulations to our new senior accountant.” He shook my hand.

  I had the job I’d always wanted and the partner I’d always wanted.

  I couldn’t have asked for anything more.

  *

  When I told Tyler about the promotion that night, he was excited beyond reason. “Chill out,” I said as he hunted through my cupboards for a nonexistent bottle of champagne. “They promoted me, not you.”

  He pulled a dusty bottle of red wine from the back of the cupboard with a triumphant grin. “But I helped,” he said. “For once in my life, I managed to help you instead of the other way around.”

  I rooted through a drawer for a corkscrew. I wasn’t even sure how to use it, so I handed it to him. “I’ve been telling you that for a long time. You finally figured out it was true?”

  “Pretty much.” He popped the bottle open and poured red liquid into two glasses. “I kind of figured you were lying to make me feel better.”

  “I wouldn’t do that, and you know it.” I took a sip of wine, studying his face. “You have to stop thinking you’re such a terrible person. There’s a lot of good in you, Tyler.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “There is.” I laced an arm around his waist, pulling him close so I could peck him on the cheek. “You don’t like to admit it, or maybe you just don’t see it, but I plan to keep telling you about it every single day.”

  He looked me in the eye, his expression filled with disbelief. “That seems excessive.”

  “Whether it is or isn’t, I’m going to keep telling you until you believe it.” I squeezed him tightly. “My incredible, beautiful, sweet, kind, generous boyfriend.”

  “That’s going a little far.”

  “You have a huge heart,” I told him, running my hand over him chest. “A soft one, too. Mmm…”

  He laughed and swatted my hand away. “You have no proof.”

  “No? So I guess you didn’t keep in touch with your biological mom. You just blackmailed her and never talked to her again. Nothing touchy-feely there at all.”

  “Shut up.”

  “You definitely don’t still have a relationship with her now,” I went on smugly. “No weekly phone calls, no talk of a visit. You didn’t freak out when you thought she might be relapsing. You weren’t ready to spend all your savings from the past few months on plane tickets to check on her.” The relapse had been a false alarm, luckily for his wallet.

  “I said shut up!” His cheeks pink, he swatted me again. “Fine, I admit it. I’m amazing. Isn’t there anything bad about me?”

  “Well…” I pulled back and gave an exaggerated sniff. “You kind of smell.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You didn’t take a shower tonight.” I sniffed his hair. “You smell.”

  “I showered this morning!” He tried to squirm away from me.

  I held on tight. “And then you went out and sweated all day. You think you’re going to put your stinky body all over my nice clean bed sheets? Gross!” I nudged my glass of wine further from me on the counter before his flailing could knock it over.

  Going still, he raised him eyebrows at me. “You know what? I do think so.” He grabbed my ass and squeezed it. “And I’m going to drag you onto those nice clean sheets along with me.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Uh-huh.” He bit down on my neck – softly, but hard enough to make a thrill go through my lower belly. “I’m going to get you all sweaty. You’ll get your sheets even dirtier than I will.”

  “I… have no objection to that.” I grabbed for my glass.

  “Forget the wine.” His eyes glimmered as he tugged me toward the bedroom. “Let’s go!”

  EPILOGUE – TYLER

  The light was bright enough to pierce my brain even through my closed eyelids. I groaned and pulled the sheets over my head, determined to make the light go away. Where even was I? I couldn’t remember much beyond the throbbing of my head. Judging by my hangover, I’d gotten wasted last night. But where, why, with who?

  “Wake up, sleepyhead.”

  The voice brought me some clarity. The low, mellow tone belonged to Andy, the man who had helped me find my biological mother. No, my friend. That I’d once slept with. No, wait – my boyfriend. A quiet satisfaction thrummed through me at the realization that I was his and he was mine.

  The bed still felt unfamiliar, though. These weren’t the silky sheets we’d bought for the queen bed we’d purchased for Andy’s apartment when I recently moved in. And the pillows – I’d invested in a luxuriously thick memory foam pillow, and the one under my head wasn’t it.

  I opened my eyes a crack, squinting up at Andy. As soon as I saw our surroundings, everything clicked into place.

  The room was sparsely decorated, with one folk painting on the off-white wall. The air was warm and humid, and the sun beat through the open window. No wonder the light had been so bright.

  We were in Acapulco, Mexico – the exact spot I’d spent so much time longing to return to. Now that Andy and I had been together for a year, he’d had the idea to come back to celebrate. Everything was different from the first time I’d been here, and yet as amazing as that experience had been, I had to say this one was better.

  “Morning,” I said hoarsely, reaching a hand toward Andy. “What time is it?”

  “Past eleven.” He took my hand and attempted to tug me out of bed.

  I fought back, tugging him down into it beside me. “How long have you been up?”

  “Since nine.” He patted my bare shoulder. “I thought I’d let you sleep in. You had a lot more to drink than I did.”

  “Yeah, I went all-out.” I looked down at myself. “Hey, why am I naked?”

  He quirked an eyebrow at me. “Are you serious? You don’t remember coming back from the bar? You were all over me. It was like you couldn’t get enough.”

  I chuckled. “Sounds like me, all right.” I was only sorry I couldn’t remember any of it. “We’ll have to go for another round now that I’m sober.”

  “There’s no time! We’re meeting our families in twenty minutes.”

  The tension that’d began to grow in my groin dissipated. “Right.” I snapped up to a seated position, the sudden movement sending a painful pang through my forehead. “We need to get going.”

  There was a good chance that Laney was also sleeping in. She’d drank as hard as me last night, matching me shot for shot at the beach bar. She seemed to have a higher tolerance, though. At least, she hadn’t run into the ocean fully-dressed like I had.

  She was too old-fashioned to use a cell phone, so we’d find out if she was up once we got down to the hostel restaurant. If she wasn’t there, she could find us in our usual spot on the beach. Hopefully she’d bring tequila.

  She and I had been in touch regularly since I’d gotten out of jail. We had a lot in common, and I genuinely enjoyed her company. I didn’t see her as my mother – that was Sophie, despite what I thought of her parenting skills. We’d never be close, but I’d come to realize she was still the woman who’d raised me.

  Even so, Laney had her own place in my life. She was something like an older sister, one that needed my encouragement to stay out of trouble. She said she ha
dn’t touched an opiate since her trip to the hospital, and she was telling the truth. I could spot a liar from a long way away.

  “Come on,” Andy said. “Let’s go.”

  His own mom and brother should be up by now. Over the course of the week, they’d generally been good about getting up on time – possibly because they didn’t swig tequila as consistently as me and Laney.

  Indeed, they were already in the restaurant when we got there. “Morning,” Andy said, kissing each of them on the cheek.

  After him, I did the same. I’d felt somewhat uncomfortable with Celeste and Jeremy for the whole time Andy and I had been together. Now that we’d all come on this vacation together, we’d connected on a deeper level. I was starting to feel like they were actually part of my family.

  “Should we order for Laney?” Celeste asked, stacking the menus on the table and setting them to the side. We’d eaten here so many times this week that we didn’t need them anymore.

  “That might be nice,” I said. “If she doesn’t show up, we can take it to go.”

  The waitress came by and recited our orders by heart. Each of us nodded, and she took off, her little black notepad still in her apron.

  I had a lot of respect for wait staff who could pull off those feats of memory. I’d been working at a restaurant back in Harrotsford since a few weeks after I’d been let go from the bussing job. It paid as well as I’d hoped, but it was also damn tough. I’d never fake-smiled so much in my life – and while I still hated it, I’d begun to appreciate the challenge of making people like me. The more they enjoyed my presence, the more they’d empty their wallets for me. And wasn’t that what it was all about?

  Some things hadn’t changed.

  I put my hand on Andy’s leg and took a huge gulp of water. There was nothing better to fight a hangover.

  “What’s the plan for today?” I asked. “Sun, sand, snorkel, repeat?”

  Celeste nodded dreamily. “This really is heaven on earth,” he said. “You two should come back here for your honeymoon.”