In Another World With My Smartphone: Volume 8

by Patora Fuyuhara

  After a while, Eris came over to me. She pointed a finger in my direction.

  “You... I... I reluctantly admit that you mean much to Miss Leen! But know that I will come down upon you if you fail to make her happy!”

  “That goes without saying... But I promise. I’ll make Leen as happy as can be.”

  “H-Hmph!” Eris shuffled off with a little blush on her face. I thought I caught her smiling as she went back to the elders.

  “Man, I’m tired...”

  “Well hey... We got her blessing.” Leen sat down next to me. We had gone through a lot, but we’d finally sorted it all out.

  “I wish she’d just been honest from the beginning. That girl has a troublesome personality... But her heart’s in the right place.” Leen smiled and sighed. I definitely agreed with that. I wondered if she’d be alright as the new matriarch.

  “I asked the elders to watch her closely. What comes next is for Eris and the fairies to determine, not us.” Leen rested her head on my shoulder. I was a little embarrassed, but... We were engaged, so it was fine.

  Eris had accepted it, and so had the others.

  《...... My liege, do you hear me? Are you getting this?》 “Huh... What’s going on...” I could hear Kohaku’s voice in my head. I wondered if something had happened. 《Uh... Hold on, how do I do this again... Ah. Right! Yeah, I hear you!》 《Touya! Where are you right now?》 Yumina’s voice came through in my head, and my blood ran cold.

  Oh shit. I didn’t tell them I’d be out late! I’ve gone and done it again! “A-Ah... Yumina... Uhm. Right now I’m just at the village of the fairies with Leen.” 《Alright, thanks. We should all go there sometime, too! I hope you’re having fun. It’s just getting late, so don’t forget to keep us in the loop next time.》 Goddammit. I really need to remember the fact that I can use telepathic messaging... Paula was shivering like crazy. C-Calm down, you’re okay...

  《Anyway, I need to tell you-》 “It’s okay! We’re coming home right now! I’ll be there in thirty seconds!” I didn’t want another lecture, so I cut off the transmission, told the elders that we had to leave, grabbed Leen, grabbed Paula, whipped open a [Gate] and hurtled through at mach speed.

  “...I wish you the best!” Just as we went through the portal, I heard Eris’ parting words. She seemed a little drunk, but... The two of us smiled.

  “Yes, let’s be happy together, darling...”

  “That’s the plan.” Paula mimed a little giggle as I replied to Leen.

  Interlude II: The Die Is Cast

  “Now what could this be?” Yumina found something strange as we were searching through the artifacts in Babylon’s Storehouse (with the exception of any dangerous and/or sexual artifacts).

  Okay, so while it was indeed strange, I knew exactly what it was with just a cursory glance. It was a cube with its six sides each marked with a different number of stars (☆), from one star to six. No matter how you looked at it, it was a die.

  It seemed that dice existed in this world, too. Except they weren’t called dice, but “dicen” instead.

  And they were used as a divination tool to make decisions with the guidance of the spirits rather than a random number generator for games and the like.

  “It’s quite big for a dicen, isn’t it?” Lu muttered after taking a look at the die Yumina was holding. It was indeed quite big. Dice were usually about one or two centimeters wide, even over here. But the one Yumina had was about thirty centimeters wide. It was comically huge as far as dice go.

  “Is this perhaps another artifact?”

  “I’d assume so, since it’s in the Storehouse and all, but...” Elze and Linze paused their sorting of the weapons and weapon accessories and came over this way. Oh, and if you were wondering, I had already unlocked all the chests.

  Yae and Hilde were carrying over the sorted chests, but also paused to send a curious look this way.

  “Find any spec sheets?”

  “No... not at all. This is all we found.” All of the artifacts stored in the Storehouse were contained in cubic chests. The artifacts, including the blueprints, were all compressed and stored similarly through a technique similar to my [Storage] spell.

  Without the spec sheets, we’d have no idea how to use any of the artifacts.

  Oh, and by the way, the spec sheets were written in Partheno, which I could inexplicably read. According to Parshe, the inscription magic and translation magic infused within was able to directly transmit the meaning into my brain upon sight... or something like that. Anyway, I was just glad I didn’t have to use [Reading] to read it.

  “I guess the easiest way to find out would be to just ask the manager, but... where’d Parshe go, anyway?” Parshe, the manager of the Storehouse, was nowhere to be found. Could’ve sworn she was here a second ago. Elze had just the answer I was looking for.

  “Oh, Parshe went to go deliver an artifact to the alchemy lab. She said it’d be useful as a compounding tank or something.” A compounding tank? Like for pharmaceuticals or something? The Storehouse was Babylon’s treasure trove. It was filled with items that’d be useful for other buildings on Babylon, so there’d be no problem redistributing them, but...

  “Let’s just hope she doesn’t trip and break it...” That’s the klutz of a manager we’re talking about. Pretty sure I wasn’t the only one who was slightly worried.

  “Hey, get back to work everyone! We want to get this over with at some point in time, don’t we?” Leen’s voice came echoing down from the Storehouse loft. Paula was up there with her hands placed angrily on her hips, too.

  “If the Library is home to the crystallization of ancient knowledge, then the Storehouse is home to the crystallization of ancient technology.” Leen was quite keen to see all things to be seen, it would seem.

  “Since it’s a dicen, it’s meant to be thrown to decide something, right? Lemme see it for a sec, Yumina.”

  “Ah, Sue! Wait...!” Before I could stop her, Sue snatched the die from Yumina and tossed it into the air.

  Though it may have been a die in shape, it was an artifact made by Doctor Babylon herself. There was no telling what would happen. In fact, I was sure that something would happen! The die bounced off the white floor of the Storehouse before rolling and stopping on one.

  “Ngh. That’s bad luck.” Did I mention that dicen were fortune-telling tools in this world? Apparently six meant excellent luck, and one meant bad luck.

  Sue furrowed her eyebrows and not a second later, the die started to make a low whistling noise... when suddenly, we all got sucked in towards it. What the hell? “Kyah?”

  “W-what’s going on?!”

  “My liege?!” Right before my eyes, Yumina, Elze, and Yae got sucked into the “one” star on the top of the die.

  One by one, Linze, Lu, Leen, Sue, and Hilde got sucked in like a vacuum cleaner, leaving Paula flailing around frantically before I got sucked into the die as well.

  “Dammit! See?! Of course something like this would happen!” I cursed the name of the genius doctor from five millennia ago as my consciousness faded away.

  ◇ ◇ ◇

  “Oww... ...Where am I?” I woke up in a place that resembled Babylon’s garden. The flowers and the trees were bright and lively. Everyone else was sitting around the lawn. Thank goodness. It looked like everyone was safe. But still, where were we...?

  “Touya, look at that.”

  “Huh? ...What is that...?” Yumina pointed up to the blue sky dotted with clouds, where Paula’s giant, translucent face peered down at us.

  Up above was a faint five-pointed star pattern. Don’t tell me...

  “Are we inside the die?” Well, I did see everyone get sucked in, so I had a feeling that was the case.

  “Teleportation magic brought us to a reality marble... perhaps. It might be similar to the hangar. Paula?! Can you hear us?” Leen shouted at the giant Paula in the sky. Paula nodded and raised both fists in the air.

  “We’re safe! And sorry, but co
uld you head to the alchemy lab and tell Parshe what happened?” Paula nodded again before disappearing. She probably went to go find Parshe. Who knows if we’ll be safe, though... It’s not like she could talk... Well, I’m sure she’ll be able to get the gist across with some charades. I hope.

  “Anyway, what exactly could this artifact be, I wonder?”

  “An enemy-trapping artifact... perhaps?” Yae and Hilde wondered aloud as they surveyed the area.

  We are indeed trapped in here, but... I just remembered what this situation reminded me of. It was like the magic gourd from Journey to the West that the Gold Horn and Silver Horn Kings got sucked into after responding to their names. It was like that, but... We didn’t respond to our names.

  How did Wukong escape from the gourd after he got sucked in, again? “Excuse me, Touya... Can we not use your teleportation magic to escape?”

  “Oh, right. That.” I couldn’t help but clap my hands after Lu pointed out the obvious.

  Why didn’t I think of that...? Wow, how embarrassing. I cleared my throat, activated [Gate] and... nothing happened. “What’s wrong?”

  “I can’t open a [Gate] right now. In fact, my magic’s just fizzling out.”

  “Huh?!” Leen and Linze tried using magic just to make sure, but their magic too fizzled out, unable to activate. Seemed like magic couldn’t be used here. “Nope. Teleportation magic won’t do you any good here.”

  “Wh-who’s there?!” The voice came from midair, where a woman appeared, sitting in a chair.

  She wore glasses and a white coat as she smoked something like a cigarette. Her eyes looked languid, but a bold smile adorned her face.

  “Dr. Babylon...”

  “Huh, that’s her?!” Yumina’s eyes popped.

  That was her, beyond a shadow of a doubt. She was a perfect match to the 3D model of her that Cesca showed me the first night I became the master of the Garden. Oh, on second thought, this could just be another 3D model...

  “Welcome to Babylon World. Allow me to entertain you with some momentary amusement. The rules of this game are quite simple. Just roll the dicen and advance that number of spaces. It’s that simple.” A map demarcated with square spaces from Start to Finish appeared beside Dr. Babylon. And just like the Storehouse spec sheets, the labels on the map appeared to be encoded with translation magic, as I could read them even though they were written in Partheno.

  Sure, I could read it, but... umm...

  “What is this, Snakes and Ladders...?” Not only did dicen exist five millennia ago, but so did Snakes and Ladders, I guess. Seems it just fell out of fashion these days for some reason. But anyway, that’s not the problem.

  “Hunt five goblins?”

  “Gather ten stones...”

  “Do an impression of a king ape?”

  “What might these inscriptions on the spaces mean?” It didn’t seem to click with the others, but I knew exactly what was going on. When you landed on a space, you had to do what was written there! “You have three hours. If you reach the goal within that time limit, I shall return you to where you came from. But even if you don’t reach the goal in three hours, you’ll still be returned to where you came from, so don’t worry.”

  “So I guess we’re not trapped here forever.” Linze breathed a sigh of relief. Even if we don’t reach the goal...? Sounds kinda fishy. There’s no way the doctor would make a child’s game mere child’s play.

  After I gave her a dubious glare, the 3D model of Dr. Babylon predictably continued to speak.

  “But if you lose, I’ll strip you all of your clothes as a penalty. And I do mean all your clothes, including your underwear!”

  “Ugh, you’re the worst!!!” Everyone cast their voices in unison, echoing the cast die.

  So in other words, if we don’t reach the goal in three hours, we’ll be kicked out of here butt-naked? “What?! Are you sure this person’s really the Dr. Babylon?!”

  “I’m afraid so...” I gave the enraged Lu the cold, hard truth. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’d thought the exact same thing. The doctor was the type of whimsical person to follow through on her impulses, no matter how stupid they might be. The fact that she was a genius only made matters worse. She undoubtedly must’ve been a headache to everyone around her.

  “Now let the games begin. See you in three hours.” The doctor’s midair 3D model disappeared and a die the same size as the one we got sucked into fell down onto the ground.

  And at the same time, the remaining time appeared next to the map and began counting down.

  “Wh-what do we do?”

  “We do what we gotta do, or we’ll be stripped naked?”

  “It wouldn’t be a problem if it were just us, but...” Yae, Elze, and Hilde all shot their glances at me. Well, yeah. I knew exactly what they wanted to say.

  “Darling, you’re not thinking of losing on purpose, are you?”

  “...No... Of course not...”

  “You hesitated just now.”

  “You looked away just now.” As soon as I answered Leen’s question, Yumina and Lu immediately shot me down with their double princess glare. Just let it slide, Touya. Just let it slide.

  Obviously, I had no intention of hindering everyone else... but I had to admit, I was thinking if we lost, we lost. Even if we got out of there butt naked, I could just use [Mosaic] to cover our bits.

  “U-Uhm... time’s ticking away...” Linze snapped everyone’s attention back to the map’s timer. We had already wasted three minutes.

  “Not good. We can’t waste time or we’ll be kicked out of here naked.”

  “So anyway, we just gotta roll that dicen, right? Go?” Sue tossed the giant die. It bounced two or three times as it rolled. It landed on three.

  “Ah, the marks on the map...” The star mark on the starting line began to advance on the map. To show us which space we’re supposed to land on, I guess. And sure enough, the star mark stopped exactly three spaces later.

  The next moment, the die disappeared and our surroundings transformed into a forest.

  “Hunt five silbirds...?” I read aloud the text written on the space we stopped on, and right on cue, a number of squawking silver-winged birds started flying out from the trees.

  “I guess those are silbirds?”

  “Are they real?” Yumina dubiously asked as she gazed at the silver birds fluttering about the sky. I thought they were probably 3D models... or some sort of summoning magic, but...

  “Anyway, let’s just follow the instructions.” I unsheathed Brunhild in Gun Mode and set my sights on the silver birds fluttering in the air.

  I fired two shots. Pew, pew! The first shot missed. The second hit the silbird, but instead of falling to the ground, it unexpectedly just faded away in the air. Even though I shot regular bullets. Not magic bullets, just plain old regular bullets.

  “I guess it was just a model after all. Looks like they’re set to disappear when hit.”

  “Touya, allow me.” Yumina took out the Colt Army Model 1860 I made for her out from her ring’s [Storage] and set her sights. I had modified the gun’s barrel and grip to make it easier for Yumina to hold, so it looked quite different from the original model.

  Yumina pulled the trigger in rapid succession, annihilating three silver birds as they flew. Amazing.

  Yumina shot down the last remaining bird with her keen eye as well.

  And at the same time, a chime bonged and the giant die reappeared on the ground.

  “Looks like we cleared the requirements.”

  “Guess that means it wants us to continue.” I nodded at Linze.

  Roll the die and do what’s written on the space you land on. Clear the requirements and you can advance. Exactly like Snakes and Ladders. Except we had no opponent, so we had no turns off to relax.

  “Who’s gonna roll next?” Sue asked as she picked up the die. I wasn’t sure it mattered who rolled the die, but we decided an order and had Elze roll next.

  “What’s
written on the next few spaces?”

  “Let’s see... Sing a song, Advance two spaces, Laugh for an entire minute, Do a thousand pushups, Talk like a cat, Wear the provided wig... None of these look any good.”

  Lu frowned as she read the map. Well, that’s the doctor for you. ‘Advance two spaces.’ leading right to ‘Do a thousand pushups.’ is just plain cruel.

  “Well, I’ll give it a roll.” Elze tossed the die with a yelp. The die tumbled on the ground and stopped on six.

  “Yay!” Elze did a fist pump. She realized that bigger numbers meant reaching the goal faster. Which was great and all, but...

  The map indicator rhythmically advanced spaces one by one.

  Once the indicator stopped on the sixth space, our surroundings changed once more. And once again, the die disappeared.

  We appeared to be inside a castle’s dressing room this time. Racks of clothes surrounded us on all sides.

  The walls on either side were full-length mirrors, and there was a desk in the center of the room. A box with a large hole cut out of the top sat atop it. There was something written on the side of the box facing us.

  “The instructions on the space say to ‘wear the designated wigs’... But I don’t see any wigs anywhere.”

  “Maybe they’re inside the box? There’s something written on it at least.”

  “Let’s see here. ‘Every person must stick their hand into the box and wear whatever they pick out.’ Wait, does that mean we have to, too?” Leen read the words on the box, a hint of incredulity creeping into her voice. She’d expected only the person who’d rolled the die would have to participate, but it seemed this was something we’d all be doing. It appeared we’d be sharing our fates for the duration of this game.

  “Well...we might as well do this in dice-rolling order. Elze, you’re first.”

  “Huh, me?!” Though the hole was rather wide, we couldn’t see inside the box. There must have been some kind of magical effect placed on it or something to hide its contents.

  Elze timidly lowered her hand into the box, grabbed something, and pulled it out.