Don't Leave

by Jennifer Sucevic

  Chapter Seven

  Even though the last thing I feel like doing is heading back into that party, with all its noise and music and hot press of bodies, I have to. I have to find Cole. I need to reassure myself that he’s still mine. That I’m the one he loves.

  That Jackie may be back but whatever they shared is over with.

  In all honesty, I have no idea just how long I stood outside with Jackie. Nor do I know how long it took to get the anxiety that had started to claw at me back under control. I told Cole I was going to the bathroom and then I never returned. Just before I open the back door to head inside, I pull my phone out from the pocket of my blue scrubs. Something within me instantly settles when I see that I’ve missed two calls and three text messages from him.

  I quickly try calling but there’s no answer. Which isn’t totally surprising given the amount of noise inside. So I shoot him a quick text letting him know that I’m fine and looking for him. I set my ringer on vibrate so I can feel if he responds as I push and shove my way back to the living room where we had been dancing earlier.

  It takes some time, because it feels as if the amount of people now smashed inside the house has doubled. My nerves jump and stretch as I search through the darkened room. All these people, with their costumes and painted faces, have me feeling on edge. I try standing on my tiptoes hoping to see over the mass of people but I’m not tall enough. For just a moment my breath hitches and although I’m not usually claustrophobic, I’m starting to feel that way now. My chest continues to tighten when I can’t find Cole or even Brooklyn.

  Hell, I’d be happy to see Austin or Alex at this point. I need to find a familiar face in this crowd of strangers. Because right now, there aren’t any. And I can feel myself growing more and more tense.

  Just as I’m about to move into another room, I see dark, artfully mussed hair and I know right away that it’s Cole. I would know those messy locks anywhere. Something within me instantly calms as I forcibly push my way towards him. He’s at the bottom of the staircase that leads to the second floor.

  Even though it’s doubtful that he’ll hear me, I still shout his name. I’m disappointed but not surprised when he doesn’t turn around. I just want to reach him. I want to grab his hand and drag him out of all this chaos. I want to kiss his lips and tell him how much I love him. I want to make sure that he never has any reason to doubt the way I feel about him.

  If Jackie thinks she can waltz in here and steal him from me, let her try. It won’t do her a damn bit of good because I know exactly how much Cole loves me. And it won’t take her long to figure it out either. For the first time since stepping outside with Jackie, I feel as if the huge pit sitting at the bottom of my belly has finally dissolved.

  Just as I open my mouth to yell his name again, I realize that he’s walking up the stairs… and he isn’t alone. Everything stills within me as I watch Jackie trail behind him before disappearing up to the second floor where I can no longer see them.

  Even though they’ve both vanished from sight, all I can do is stare stupidly after them as all the feelings of insecurity Jackie has just breathed life into whip their way through me once more. And then I do the only thing I can.

  I fight for breath.

  Because… I… can’t… seem… to… catch… it…

  “Cassidy?”

  I flinch when a gentle hand settles on my shoulder before spinning around. Even though I’ve been working through my issues in therapy for a good ten months, it still bothers me to be touched by a stranger or even startled by someone I know.

  Which is thankfully the case this time.

  With my hands tightened into fists and my eyes wide, I meet Luke Wellington’s concerned bluish-gray gaze. Silently I watch as his eyes slide carefully over me, lingering on my tightened hands before narrowing.

  “Are you okay?” Even though he asks the question, I think we both know the answer.

  For just a moment I stare at him before finally giving a little shake of my head.

  He cocks his head to the side as his eyes continue probing mine. “Too many people?” Even now there is a crush of costumed partiers surrounding us, pushing at us from all sides.

  It feels as if there is no room to breathe in here.

  Not enough air.

  Which is utterly ridiculous. I know it is. But that’s exactly how it feels.

  “Yeah.” I need to get out of here. I have to escape this place before I lose it.

  Nodding his head as if he understands, his hand carefully tightens around mine before pulling me towards the front door. “Let’s get some fresh air. That’ll make you feel better.”

  I don’t say anything and he doesn’t wait for me to answer. He simply plows his way through the mass of bodies. Because Luke is over six feet tall and is wide in the shoulders, he’s a force to be reckoned with as he easily clears a path for us. Plus he plays defense. He’s used to pushing people out of the way.

  Unlike most the partiers here tonight, Luke isn’t wearing a costume. For some reason, that makes me feel more at ease. With the flickering lights, loud music, and unrecognizable people, it feels better to see the face of someone I know.

  As soon as he tows me through the front door, I inhale a great big breath of oxygen. The cold night air immediately hits my cheeks, cooling me and calming my racing thoughts. He continues walking us down the front porch steps onto the thin cracked cement path until we’re standing on the sidewalk. Only then does he finally stop before turning towards me. His hands settle on my shoulders and normally something like that would bother me but it doesn’t.

  Because Luke is safe.

  He’s proven that already.

  “What happened in there?”

  His hazel eyes search mine in the moonlight. Even in the darkness, they’re brimming with concern and once again I feel like a total idiot for even thinking that he was going to spread all my dirty secrets around Western. My mind tumbles back to our conversation at the Union.

  And to the fact that we’re now friends.

  But he wants more than just friendship, I remind myself. And because of that, I don’t think I should tell him about Cole disappearing upstairs with his ex-girlfriend. God, even thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach.

  Inhaling another deep breath I slowly blow it out before saying, “I was just feeling a little claustrophobic. It’s not a big deal. I’m fine.” I try hoisting a small smile. “Really.” But I’m pretty sure it falls flat.

  He doesn’t disagree with my pronouncement even though I think he wants to. His eyes continue probing mine as if he knows that I’m not being completely truthful with him. “They let way too many people in there. You can barely move.”

  The corners of my mouth lift just a bit more. Talking about the crowd feels safer than discussing the real reason I had to get out of there. “Yeah, it’s much too crowded.”

  “So,” he finally asks, “where’s Cole? I’m surprised he would leave you alone.” He nods his head towards the house. “Especially with that crowd.”

  I hesitate before giving him a partial truth. “I went to the bathroom and when I came back, I couldn’t find him.” But I did find him… I found him climbing the stairs with Jackie in tow and that knowledge is eating away at me.

  His hands suddenly slide into the pockets of his jeans. “Did you try texting him?”

  “Yeah.” But he didn’t answer…

  “And he didn’t respond?” Surprise is riddled throughout his words.

  It makes me feel as if I have to rush to Cole’s defense. “He texted and called, I didn’t hear it. And I did the same but it’s so loud in there. You can’t hear anything.” Including when I yelled his name as he climbed up the stairs with his ex-girlfriend following right on his heels. Again I have to push those thoughts out of my head.

  He looks thoughtful before suggesting, “If you’re feeling better, we can head back inside and look for him.”

  But what if he’s still upstairs with Jackie?
What if they’re working things out between them? Is she telling him how much she still loves him? Is she begging for his forgiveness? Even though my mind shies away from the idea, I can’t help but wonder if maybe they’re doing more than that.

  No. I can’t go back in there right now.

  “I think I’ll just head back to the dorms. It’s a little too crazy in there for me.”

  Luke shrugs his broad shoulders. “Okay, my truck is parked down the street. I’ll give you a ride back. You shouldn’t be walking around here alone at night.”

  He’s right. I know he is.

  For just a moment I hesitate. Should I just go back inside and find Cole? Even though I know my phone hasn’t vibrated, I slide it out of my pocket before checking for any new messages.

  But there aren’t any. I can’t help but stare blankly at the screen, willing it to ring. I really need to hear his voice right now.

  When it does absolutely nothing, I finally whisper, “Okay.” Luke slings his arm casually around my shoulders as we start walking up the sidewalk. A slight shiver works its way through me at the contact. Being this close to Luke feels different than being next to Cole and I can’t help but catalogue all the subtle differences.

  Glancing down at me, he asks, “Cold?”

  Since I can’t very well tell him the truth, I lie. “Um, a little bit.” The temperature has dropped since we left the dorms a few hours ago. But that’s not the reason for the tremor racking my body. Luke pulls me just a bit closer as we continue walking. It only takes a few minutes before we reach his dark SUV. Opening the door for me, I step up before settling myself into the front seat as Luke quietly closes it. A moment later, he’s sliding in next to me and starting the engine.

  “Are you hungry?” His eyes flick towards mine before arrowing straight back to the road in front of him. “Do you want to grab something to eat before I drop you off?”

  Biting down on my lip, all I can think about is the back of Cole’s head as he disappeared up the stairs with Jackie. “I don’t think so.” That twenty seconds keeps looping unwantedly through my head and I can’t make it stop. I don’t want to think about what happened after they reached the second floor.

  He shoots me another quick glance. “If something’s bothering you, Cassidy, you can tell me about it. Are you sure you don’t want to sit down and talk?” His voice drops an octave. “I’m a good listener.”

  Surprised that he can read me so well, my eyes fly back to his.

  Then, startling me even more, his gaze pins me in place right before he softly admits, “We both saw Cole head upstairs.”

  For some reason, hot scalding tears instantly fill my eyes. And then the damn bursts and everything Jackie said to me comes pouring out.

  Chapter Eight

  Cole

  Christ.

  Exactly how long does it take two girls to use the bathroom?

  Well… apparently it’s at least twenty minutes because that’s how long Cassidy and Brooklyn have been gone for. It feels as if about a hundred more people have somehow piled their way through the front door in their absence. And this party was already jam packed before we arrived. Now it’s wall to wall people.

  Not knowing what else to do, I start towards the first floor bathroom. For all I know, they’re still waiting in line. Just as I’m heading in that direction, I spot Brooklyn. Almost instantly relief rushes through me. She’s standing with some tall, buff dude. I recognize him from around campus but don’t know his name. It takes a moment for me to realize that Cassidy isn’t with them.

  “Brooklyn!” I try shouting her name but with the blaring music and insane amount of people, she doesn’t hear me. No surprise there. So I continue pushing and shoving my way over to her. When I’m practically on top of her, I tap her shoulder, yelling her name as I do.

  This time, both her and the guy she’s with turn towards me. The dude stiffens before moving just a bit closer to her as if I’m going to try stealing her away from him. I almost roll my eyes at the possessiveness flaring within his narrowed gaze. This is exactly why Austin is in such deep shit with this girl.

  Normally I would find this guy’s behavior hilarious, but I’m not in the mood for it right now. I just want to find Cassidy. Where the hell is she? How did she get separated from Brooklyn? Instead I mutter, “Chill, I’m looking for her friend.”

  Even though he doesn’t say anything in response, his body relaxes. But he still doesn’t step back to give us some breathing room.

  With my eyes on Brooklyn, I ask, “Where’s Cassidy? I thought she was with you?”

  Her dark blonde brows draw together as her red slicked lips pull into a concerned line. “We split up after we used the bathroom,” she yells back.

  My brow lifts because it’s completely obvious that this douche bag is the reason they split up.

  My knowing look isn’t lost on Brooklyn either as her lips lift in sudden humor. “The last I saw of her, she was heading back to find you.”

  Great.

  At this point all I want to do is find her and get the hell out of here. I’ve had enough of this madness. I just want to go home and hit the sheets. With Cassidy. Preferably naked. “When was that?”

  She shrugs. “About ten or fifteen minutes ago.”

  I run a quick hand through my hair before pulling my cell phone out of my pocket and trying to call her but there’s no answer. I shoot her a quick text asking where she is before trying to call one more time.

  Still no answer.

  Well, she has to be here somewhere. And I’m damn well going to find her. Even if I have to wade through every freaking room in this house to do it.

  Wanting to take off, I shout, “If you see Cassidy, tell her I’m looking for her, okay? Tell her to call me.”

  She nods before turning back to the dude who is all but hovering over her now as if someone might swipe the tasty bone he plans on sinking his teeth into later. For just a moment I feel bad for Austin because even though he came here tonight with another girl, I know he’s still hung up on Brooklyn. That dude has been messed up ever since they broke up.

  And it’s not that I don’t sympathize, because I do. But his freaking mental state is starting to affect his abilities out on the ice and that we just can’t have. The guy needs to seriously pull it together and move on.

  Not knowing what else to do, I push my way back into the living room as my eyes search every darkened corner for Cassidy and her blue scrubs. But the strobe light effect isn’t making it any easier.

  Is it possible she went upstairs?

  I have to shove more than one person out of my way to reach the staircase. When I’m on the landing, I turn, surveying the ridiculously thick crowd. But again, with the flickering light, I can’t see a damn thing. So I head up to the second floor.

  Hell, I love a good party but this is just plain obnoxious. And I’m more than over it.

  Just as I reach the top of the stairs, I feel someone tug on my hand. With a smile of relief, I spin around. Just as I reach out to grab her, wanting to wrap my arms around her, I realize it isn’t Cassidy at all.

  It’s the very last person I ever thought to see at Western.

  There is no way in hell that Jackie-freaking-Carlton is here at some Kappa Halloween party.

  No.

  Fucking.

  Way.

  But yeah, apparently it’s entirely possible because as my narrowed eyes rove over her, I know there’s no mistaking Jackie for any other girl. She was my best friend for over a decade. She owned my heart for two years before smashing it to shit.

  Not wanting to feel her skin against mine, I back up a step or two until her hand falls to her side.

  “Hi, Cole,” even though she mouths the words softly, I still hear her. It’s like the party around us has suddenly been muted. She’s the only thing I see and hear.

  The only acknowledgment I give is a quick jerking of my head. “What are you doing here?” The question may be rude, but I don’t
give a damn.

  Rather tentatively she takes another step closer before answering. “I transferred to Western over the summer.” Her eyes search mine in the darkness.

  Feeling dumbfounded, I grunt before saying, “I haven’t seen you around at all.”

  She shrugs her slender shoulders before answering. “I’m taking two classes one day a week and living at home, so I’m not on campus very much. I’ll be moving into a house with Amy and Danica before spring semester starts and then I’m going to take a full load.”

  Which means I’ll probably end up running into her.

  Awesome.

  This night just took a massive nosedive. “Well, I hope it all works out for you. I’ve got to go.” Now I really need to find Cassidy so we can get the hell out of here. I don’t want her anywhere near Cassidy. The fact that Jackie now goes to school here…

  It means that I’m finally going to have to open up and talk about Jackie and what happened between us. With her living out of state, I never worried about running into her. It was so much easier to push her out of my mind. I won’t be able to do that anymore.

  “Cole.” She hesitates as my eyes jerk unwillingly back to hers. “Can we… maybe go somewhere and talk?” She must see the shutdown look in my eyes, because her words turn pleading. “Please? Just for a few minutes?”

  There is no way that’s going to happen. I have nothing to say to this girl. Which is sad. Really fucking sad because for a long time, she was my best friend. We spent every waking moment together. Amy and Danica may have been her friends. Neither one of them were her best friend. I was. Now I can’t even freaking stand to be in the same room with her. “No, sorry, I’ve got to go. I was looking for someone when I came up here. I need to get back downstairs.”