I read through Brooklyn’s text asking if I’m up for going out tonight. Ugh. Not really. I’m still exhausted from the ridiculous amount of shopping that was all but forced down my throat. And no, having lunch at the Cheesecake Factory did not make any of it better. But I know that Brooklyn will only end up harassing me if I give her a firm negative at five o’clock in the evening for being lame. So I give her a noncommittal response that I can later back out of.
Then I read through Luke’s text.
Up 4 a party 2nite?
Unconsciously I gnaw on my lower lip. Even though I don’t really want to go out, I wonder if maybe I should. I got my hopes up with the few messages Cole and I exchanged. It seems very obvious now that he was just checking in to make sure I was okay. Because that’s the kind of guy Cole is. It’s one of the reasons I fell so hard for him. He’s just so considerate and nice.
Then again, so is Luke.
And I really do like him… as a friend. Maybe I owe it to myself to explore the connection between us. I just don’t know. But maybe I won’t know until I try.
Before I can overthink it, I start typing.
Sure. Can Brooklyn come 2?
I’m actually feeling fairly clever at the moment for killing two birds with one stone. If nothing else comes out of tonight, at least it’ll get Brooklyn off my back.
His text pops up almost immediately.
Sure. Pick u both up at 9
C u then.
There.
Done.
Moving on with my life.
Sucking in a deep breath, I can’t help but wonder if I’ve made a gigantic mistake.
Five hours later we’re at the house of some high school friend of Luke’s. There’s a ton of people, none of whom I know which means it’s pretty much like the parties at Western. Luke has been at my side the entire night, introducing Brooklyn and me to his friends.
At some point during the evening Luke slips my hand into his. For just a moment I stare down at the connection trying to decide if moving in this new direction with Luke feels right. My eyes finally slide back to his and when they meet, something jolts through me. His lips tilt up at the corners and I can’t help but return the smile with a hesitant one of my own.
He leans towards me so I can hear him over the music. “Do you want something to drink?”
My usual MO is to stick with water. Although I’ll occasionally have a beer. But I don’t make a habit of drinking myself silly. The remnants of last year and the trouble I got myself into are never very far from my mind. Plus, I’ve discovered that I like being in control. And it’s hard to be in control when you’re totally shitfaced.
Shaking my head, I say, “No, I’m good.”
Almost immediately, understanding floods through his blue-gray eyes. It should embarrass me that he knows why I’m not much of a drinker. But surprisingly… it doesn’t. Luke knows everything- all the ugly little details of last year and he still accepts me for who I am.
For the rest of the night, we dance and laugh and have a really good time. By the end of the evening it’s completely obvious how well liked Luke is among his friends. Brooklyn also seems to be having fun. She’s been off dancing with a number of different guys throughout the evening.
Which is exactly why I do a double take when Austin walks through the front door. For just a moment I can’t figure out what he’s doing here. That’s when my eyes arrow suspiciously to Brooklyn’s.
And just like I suspected, she doesn’t look at all surprised to see him.
As I make my way over to them, Austin finally rips his eyes away from her to meet mine. “Hey, Cassidy. How’s it going?”
“Pretty good. I didn’t expect to see you here tonight.”
For just a moment, his gaze slides to the tall blonde next to him before he shrugs his broad shoulders. “I’m giving Brooklyn a ride home.”
I can’t resist needling the pair of them because their relationship has seriously moved beyond ridiculous. Clearly this is more than just a booty call or friends-with-benefits situation or whatever the heck they’re now calling it. “Oh, so you live close by?” I give him a wide eyed look because I know darn well he doesn’t.
Austin’s cheeks redden slightly before he clears his throat. “About an hour or so.”
More like two and a half. Taking pity on him, because he really must care for her, I decide not to call him out on it.
I glance over at Brooklyn but she’s studiously avoiding my eyes. “Well, that was certainly nice of you to drive all the way over here to take Brook home.”
That remark is met with deafening silence. Although Brooklyn has apparently decided that she’s had her fill of my comments and promptly shoots me a well-honed death glare.
As soon as Luke joins us, the air immediately shifts making everything feel charged and uncomfortable. Even though Austin and Luke are teammates, the strain between them is palpable. Obviously what’s going on with Cole and Luke has bled over to Austin. Which sucks.
Austin gives him a stiff chin lift in greeting. “What’s up, Wellington.”
Luke settles an arm around my shoulders making it completely clear that we’re together. “Not much. How about you?”
A hard glint enters Austin’s eyes as he takes in how close Luke and I are standing. “Brook called, so I’m going to take her home tonight.” His narrowed gaze slowly shifts to me. “You need a lift home, Cassidy?” He nods his head towards Brooklyn. “We’re going to hang out for a while. Since you’re right next door, we can drop you off.”
Unease blooms and grows as I shift from foot to foot wanting to defuse the thick, suffocating waves of tension that have now fallen over the four of us. From beneath my lashes, I glance at Luke. At this point, we’re just friends but I’m sure Austin is assuming differently.
My heart trips wondering if he’ll mention it to Cole.
Then I immediately wonder if it even matters.
My guess is that it doesn’t.
“I’ll take her home,” Luke replies before tugging me just a bit closer. It’s beginning to feel as if I’m in the middle of a pissing match between these two. Which is ridiculous because Austin has no reason to be angry with Luke. Cole and I aren’t together anymore. And if the wide variety of girls I’ve seen him with around campus is any indication, then Cole has definitely moved on with his life. And I should probably do the same.
Clearing my throat, I finally say, “I’m going to stay with Luke. He’ll drive me home.” I give Austin a small smile. For just a moment I hold my breath because it looks like he might argue.
Instead he nods his head before grabbing Brooklyn’s hand. “See you at school, Cassidy.” He flicks a look at Luke. “Wellington.”
I nod, instantly relieved that Austin and Brooklyn are taking off. “Yep.”
Once they’re out the door, I finally release the pent up breath I’ve been holding before my eyes finally drift back to Luke’s. “That was kind of… weird. Is there a problem between you and Austin?”
Shrugging his wide shoulders, his eyes take on a shuttered look. “Nope, none at all.” Then he changes the subject. “You ready to take off?”
Because it’s obvious he doesn’t want to discuss the situation, I let it go. “Yeah, I am.”
“Okay, let me just say goodbye to a few friends and then we can head out.”
It’s another thirty minutes before we finally leave. On the ride home I can’t help but think about Austin’s behavior which naturally makes me think of Cole. I can’t deny that a little pang of longing slides through me as I do.
“You okay? You’ve been really quiet.”
Luke glances over at me as we drive through the darkness. I don’t realize just how lost in thought I’ve been until he pulls the truck into my driveway. He leaves it running before turning towards me.
Biting my lip, I debate whether or not to tell him the truth. But the thing is, Luke and I are friends and I want to be honest with him. “I was just thinking about Cole.”
&nbs
p; If he’s bothered by my answer, he doesn’t show any outward appearance of it. “Because of Austin showing up tonight?”
I jerk my shoulders. “Yeah, I guess.” But Cole has been on my mind since… I’m trying to think of a time when I haven’t been consumed with thoughts of him and I can’t.
“Have you talked with him lately?” His words hit me quietly in the darkened truck.
“We exchanged a few texts yesterday.”
He looks down at his lap for just a heartbeat or two before his eyes slowly skewer mine. A moment later, he reaches out taking hold of my fingers. Now it’s my turn to glance down at our clasped hands. I can’t help but notice how small, almost delicate, my hand looks in his larger one. I also realize that every time he does it, it feels just a little more natural.
“I know you’re still getting over Cole.” He pauses for a moment before continuing quietly, “And I know that you’re not ready to get involved with anyone else just yet but I’ll wait, Cassidy. For as long as it takes, I’ll wait.”
As his words wash over me, my eyes widen. I’m not quite sure what to say. “Luke, I-”
He squeezes my hand gently in his own before shaking his head. “Don’t say anything right now. I know you need more time. But there’s something between us. Ever since that night…” His words trail off as my mind tumbles back to last year.
To him…
“I’ve thought about you ever since then.” His eyes cradle mine. There is an ocean of emotion swimming around those blue-gray depths of his. It arrows clear through me as he whispers, “I want to be with you.”
“Luke,” his name rolls softly off my lips but I’m not exactly sure what to say to the enormousness of his words or their meaning.
His other hand comes up to tenderly stroke my cheek and even though it feels distinctly different than when Cole has done the same exact thing, it doesn’t feel bad. It actually feels kind of… nice. Squeezing my eyes tightly closed, my mind continues to somersault.
“Give us a chance,” he whispers, “a chance to be more than what we are.”
“I still love him,” I finally murmur because he needs to understand what he’s up against.
His fingers continue caressing my cheek. The movement is soft and deliberate. “I wish you didn’t.”
When I finally lift my lashes, I find his eyes burning into mine. “I know.” Our gazes catch and lock as something tangible sparks to life between us.
And then he’s leaning forward. Slowly. Oh so slowly. I know he’s giving me time to end whatever is suddenly unfurling between us but… but I don’t think I want to.
Maybe…
Maybe this is what I need to get over Cole.
When his lips graze mine, they’re nothing more than a tender caress. One stroke, then two. He touches my top lip, then my bottom before sliding tenderly over both of them. It’s gently that he kisses the corners of my mouth before settling his lips over mine.
When he pulls back, I realize that I’m not quite ready to let him go. His eyes search mine for just a moment before he leans forward again, his lips brushing over mine with soft seductive strokes.
We kiss for a few more minutes before he ends it. When I finally open my eyes, he whispers, “I want you to think about that, Cassidy.”
Because I’m feeling way too stunned to string words together, I blink a few times in answer.
“Come on, I’ll walk you to the door.” And then he’s gone, jogging around the front of his truck to my side. Opening my door, he helps me out. As we stand facing each other on the lawn outside my house, he pulls me to him until I’m wrapped up in his strong embrace. Until I can rest my head against the solid wall of his chest and close my eyes.
Until I can breathe him in.
“I’m not going to push you into anything, Cassidy. You’re the one who has to decide what you want.” He pauses before adding, “Who you want.” Pulling back, he holds my gaze in the darkness. “I think we could be good together. Give me a chance to show you just how good we could be. If I’m the one you want to be with, then it’s up to you to make the next move.”
My mind whirls with everything he’s just said. “Okay,” I finally whisper.
Just when I wonder if he might kiss me again, he turns, towing me slowly towards the front door. Once we’re standing under the porch light, he tugs me into his arms, holding my body close to his.
“I’ll pick you up on Sunday around two so we can head back to school. Let Brooklyn know.”
Unable to speak, I simply nod my head. Drawing away, his eyes continue holding mine before he slowly leans in again, pressing a tender kiss to the corner of my mouth. And then he’s gone. Leaving me to stand alone on the front porch with the cold swirling around me.
Walking backwards down the brick pathway, his eyes cradle mine the entire time. “Go inside, it’s cold out here.”
Feeling ridiculously scattered, I nod once more. As I step into the house, I glance back at him one last time. The way his heated gaze sears mine has little shivers dancing down my spine. Closing the door, I lean heavily against it before blowing out a long slow breath.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Cole
“Cole, someone’s at the door, can you please answer it? My hands are full of flour.”
My mom yells the words from the kitchen where she’s baking Christmas cookies. Already. But I’m cool with it. More for me to take back to the house when I finally leave tomorrow afternoon. Pausing for just a minute, I can’t rip my eyes away from the last play of the first quarter of the game I’m watching. The bell rings for a second time just as the ball is being passed and…
“Cole?” She shouts my name again. Except this time there’s just a hint of exasperation lacing it. And that’s never good.
“I’m on it!”
But not really.
Fumble.
Damn.
Shaking my head, I jog over to the door before throwing it wide open only to wish I had ignored it.
As I stare, the corners of her lips edge up tentatively. “Hi, Cole.”
When I don’t immediately respond, she shifts from one foot to the other before stuffing her hands into the pockets of her jacket. I’m guessing it has more to do with discomfort rather than the cold. Although it is damn frigid out.
“Hey.” If she’s expecting a warm and cuddly greeting, she’s in for a rude awakening.
After a few uncomfortable moments of silence slowly creep by, she clears her throat. “I was wondering if I could come in so we could… talk for a few minutes?”
“Ummm…” I scratch the back of my neck trying to come up with a plausible excuse as to why that’s not a good idea. You know, other than the obvious... But I’ve got nothing. “I’m kind of in the middle of something right now.” Like a whole damn day of football. Make that a whole damn weekend of football. I may play hockey, but I still love college ball. Of course it wouldn’t matter if I was bored off my ass, I still wouldn’t want to hash out all this shit with her. Because let’s face it, that’s exactly what she wants to do. And I’m over it. I’ve moved on.
Her brow lifts. “I’d lay odds that you’re in the middle of watching the Ohio State-Michigan game.”
That’s exactly what I’m in the middle of and the fact that she so easily guessed it leaves me feeling just a bit surly. I don’t like that after a year spent apart she’s still able to predict my behavior. Folding my arms across my chest, I casually lean against the door frame because I’ll be damned if I’m going to invite this girl inside. “So what if I am?”
Apparently my churlish tone is enough to deflate all her hopes because she practically folds in on herself right before my very eyes making me feel like a real prick. Treating girls like crap goes against everything my parents ever taught me. And so it’s with gritted teeth that I begrudgingly swing my arm towards the living room where I’m camped out for the day with Gatorade and enough snacks to last me for at least three days.
“You can come in…”
I have to force myself to grit out the rest, “if you want.” That’s about as gracious as it’s going to get.
Looking grateful, she quickly nods before stepping over the threshold and into the entryway.
“So who’s winning?” Glancing towards the huge TV in the living room, she slowly unwraps her jacket before laying it over one end of the couch.
“Michigan.”
She smiles thinly before murmuring, “Go Wolverines.”
My lips hitch. Michigan just so happens to be one of my favorite teams and she knows it. Some things change. Other things, not so much.
An awkward silence descends as both of our eyes drift to the TV just as the second quarter gets under way. I’m suddenly wishing that I hadn’t invited her in. There’s uncomfortable and awkward… and then there’s sucking ass.
Make no mistake- this sucks major ass.
It’s almost hard to believe that once upon a time, we were best friends. That thought is quickly swallowed up by sadness and then anger.
“Who was at the door?”
I almost groan as my mother walks into the living room just as she’s drying her hands on a dish towel. Her feet grind to a halt as her gaze unexpectedly lands on Jackie. The widening of her eyes would actually be comical if I didn’t know how overjoyed she was to see my ex-girlfriend (AKA- her pseudo-daughter) back under her roof after more than a year of exile.
Yep, wait for it-
“Jackie!” The woman actually claps her hands together, obvious delight (certainly more than I’m feeling at the moment) lighting up her face. This encounter just went from bad to worse in less than a millisecond. “It’s so wonderful to see you again!”
Jackie’s whole demeanor changes just before she hurtles herself into my mother’s outstretched arms. They hug for what seems like a bazillion years. I want to roll my eyes but don’t. I’m not four, after all.
When they finally pull apart, my mother’s deep brown eyes fasten onto mine in question. More like a hundred of them. She’s tried countless times to nudge me into forgiving Jackie for what happened between us. I shrug before adding, “She stopped over.” Hopefully she’s able to read between the lines, which is to say that this impromptu get together sure as hell wasn’t my idea.
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