Spirit's Lullaby

by J E Mueller

  “Much better.” Lliam nodded.

  “So, what’s the other way?” I asked curiously. Their arguing was amusing, but I didn’t feel like we had time for joking.

  Danny started to pace. “Well, the other way involves opening a portal yourself. It’s not impossible but does take concentration and a lot of effort. Hitching a ride is always easiest even when you know what you’re doing.” Danny motioned vaguely for a moment. He seemed like he was at a loss for words and I remembered he wasn’t normally stuck with training others on this topic.

  “Is it anything like the Blessed portals? They have to find the right spot where they can open one. Usually a weakness that is reeking with corruption and anger. It’s easy to spot and makes any normal person nearby want to avoid it instinctively. Opening it is much more tricky. They need to part the magics that hold the realms apart and there are only a few moments it’ll stay open. The magic wants to stay shut and fight that weakness,” I explained.

  “Exactly.” Danny breathed a sigh of relief. “But this can be opened just about anywhere. That feeling you had connecting and fully becoming just your spirit is what you’ll be looking for. It’s cold, and if you concentrate enough you can see the silver blue sparkle of the magic…”

  Guiding spirits to the afterlife was Danny’s job. He knew this part well, but doing and showing were two different things. I watched as he motioned to a spot between us. “The magic to create a portal is within any spirit's ability. It only goes to the spirit realm. From there you can go anywhere.”

  “Anywhere?” I asked, not sure if he really meant that.

  “Yes. It makes travel so much easier.” Danny nodded, but then stopped. “Okay, almost anywhere. Safe areas like this you can’t just teleport into unless you started here. It’s annoying. So, being in here I can go anywhere within here no problem. I don’t even know how the safe areas know the difference.” He thought for a moment. “Oh, wait, duh.” Danny laughed at himself. “My body is still here. Of course it can tell that I am here, even if it’s two forms. That makes sense.”

  I nodded, taking in what he was saying. “Okay, that makes sense… But how does one make a portal? You’re not making it sound hard.”

  He lifted his hand. “By using your magic to cut through the magic of the normal realm.” With a wave of his hand a portal opened. Inside I could see it was all the same light blue, almost silver and then it was gone.

  “That didn’t look hard,” I stated.

  Danny smirked. “It’s very tiring and takes a lot of practice to master.”

  I could feel my magic just at my fingertips. I tried finding what he meant by the magic of the normal realm but found nothing. “I don’t sense any other magic.”

  Danny motioned around the room. “It is everywhere. Try walking around for a bit. See if it’s any easier.It’s easier to notice in some places than in others.” His smile was encouraging.

  I couldn’t seem to get my legs to do exactly what I wanted at first. When floating felt more normal, I tried to sense any magic other than the spirit magic that was filling the room. The only thing that felt different was the shrine.

  “I’ve got nothing. The shrine is the only thing that feels out of place, but I’m sure that’s not the ticket to learning this.” I huffed as I sat down away from my body. It was too weird to look at.

  Danny sat beside me. “It feels weird because it can be used to connect you to your spirit form and the spirit realm. Want to visit anyway? You can keep working on this at any time.”

  “I’m sure I can figure this out,” I grumbled.

  Danny nodded. “Well, why not take things back a notch? Let’s work on the first step again, maybe without the disc. That way you will feel the normal magic again. Maybe it’ll help you make the connection.”

  “That does sound like a good plan,” I agreed and walked back over to my body. It was still creepy to see myself just lying there. “So, how do I do this part?”

  “Can you feel a connection between your soul and body?” Danny asked.

  I closed my eyes and tried to find it. Nothing. “No.”

  “Good,” Danny replied happily.

  I looked at him, confused. “How is that good?”

  “Because if you can’t spot it that means the connection is still very strong. The weaker it is the harder it is to return to your body,” Danny replied, putting it into perspective.

  “I guess I am grateful for that.” I nodded, closed my eyes, and tried again. Instead of searching for a connection I decided to feel my own layers of magic. I couldn’t quite describe what I felt. The power easily streaming from my core to my fingertips was strong, and icy. A river of power moving below a thin sheet of ice. It was exhilarating. I tried calling it all to my hands and found a part would not budge.

  Mentally I turned my attention towards that strand and felt it lead a small ways away from me. Gripping that chain I felt it lead to warmth. Excited, I pulled myself towards it and found myself taking in a deep breath of fresh air. I was finally back in my body.

  “I did it!” My voice was higher pitched than I expected, the excitement showing in both my voice and features. It felt good to feel my cheeks flush.

  A moment later Danny joined me. “Excellent.”

  “Yes!” I cheered, getting up. For a moment I rocked but caught my balance. At the same time, I felt my stomach rumble.

  Danny laughed. “Maybe we should have lunch first and then get back into it? It does take more energy than you realize.”

  I handed him back the disc. “Agreed.”

  Chapter 17

  “Let’s go elsewhere for practice,” Danny suggested as we left the dining hall.

  “Where did you have in mind?” I asked curiously.

  “When Mist actively taught people, she had a specific set of rooms,” Danny replied, leading the way. “Well, two rooms. They’ve been taken over since by Allium, her cousin, but her cousin knows about us and it’ll be a safe area to just leave our bodies. Allium herself practices air magic. Nothing too exciting, but she’s known for welcoming those with odd gifts to study, bounce ideas around, and to provide a good place to escape to.”

  “Interesting. I suppose this would be a better place to find people more open to spirits.” I nodded happily.

  “Not by much. It’s still seen as weird.” Danny shrugged. “It’s less problematic though for sure. Several consider it to be on the same level as curse magic. Not going to try and correct them. There’s too much tragedy involved and honestly, most people don’t want to understand.”

  That did make sense. I guess acceptance just wasn’t in the water for me. So, I followed along silently. Thinking about all the things Danny had said. We had just reached the building on the outskirts, barely within the safe range, when I stopped. My mind was elsewhere. All the offhand comments made earlier by Lliam and learning about souls suddenly seemed to fit together.

  “I think I understand what you were saying earlier. Actually understand and not just accepting all the strange things going on here,” I said carefully. “And while I can’t change the world, I can at least show my acceptance. What do you want me to call you?”

  Danny stopped, surprised. “I, um….” The words trailed off. Danny stared at me for a moment before shrugging. “I’ll get back to you on that,” And with that, led the way inside.

  We took a step into the dimly lit room. The smell of sage and incense instantly consumed my senses. Thin curtains blocked most of the sun and shelves lined most of the room from floor to ceiling. Several small tables were scrunched up together in the middle and at the far end of the room sat a desk. Behind it was a tired looking woman, maybe in her mid-forties. Her hair was tossed up in some form of messy knot that looked like it hadn’t been touched in days. Her clothes were just as rumpled and disheveled.

  “Allium.” Danny called entering the room, “How are you this fine afternoon?”

  She squinted as we approached. “Danial? No, no, Dannielle? What day is i
t anyway?”

  Danny laughed, stopping in front of the desk. “It’s the Wednesday after the full moon.”

  Allium nodded, glanced my way, and then looked back toward Danny. “The west winds have been restless lately. The anger of the spirits is on the rise.”

  “We’re working on that. My friend here.” He motioned towards me. “Tella, she’s learning. I think she’ll be able to help Mist a lot.”

  “Oh, that would be nice.” Allium nodded vigorously. “She’s certainly seen death, but what can she do to help a soul?”

  Her words surprised me but Danny continued on unphased. “As soon as she’s ready, I’ll take her to Mist myself and we’ll find out.”

  “Oh, good. We need to get this fixed. I love the wind, but it’s never carried this many voices.” Allium sighed before waving us off to the adjacent room. “Best get to it, then.”

  “You’re the best!” Danny smiled and motioned for me to follow.

  I nodded my thanks, not sure what else to say to the strange woman.

  Opening the door to the next room revealed a small space. Shelves lined the walls, though most weren’t even close to full. Books, nicknacks, and strange looking pictures were spread out.

  On a shelf close to me I picked up an old dagger. Traces of magic lingered on it, but it had no real power left. Putting it back I noticed a symbol engraved into the wood of the shelf. It looked like two fists coming together.

  “What’s this symbol?” I asked curiously.

  Danny closed the door and came over to look at it. “That was the symbol for those who regularly fought spirits. Certain spots seemed to attract such spirits regularly so they’d mark it with that symbol. Most of their weapons were placed on that shelf to be fixed or scrapped and reforged.”

  I looked at the blade with dying magic again, wondering if it could still be fixed. “Are there many of these old weapons left?”

  Danny nodded and went across the room. Several boxes lay under the bottom shelf and he gave them a light kick. “Whatever is left here. It looks like they were getting ready to move them, probably to be fixed, when something happened.” He stared at them for a moment. “I guess I missed a lot.” His eyes lingered on the boxes. “But I was needed at home.”

  “You’re back now, so don’t worry about it. Maybe we can fix them.” I shrugged. “But that’s an idea for another time. What’s next to reach the spirit realm?”

  Danny didn’t bite on the subject and instead went back a step. “We can’t fix them, even if you have the ability. The rituals are missing along with the spells. It’s silly to think it’s possible.”

  “Maybe, maybe not.” I grabbed the chest out of my pocket. “I still have this and haven’t even looked through all the books yet.”

  For a moment Danny’s eyes lit up, but then he shook his head. “I guess we’ll see. I won’t lay my hopes on that.”

  “Understood,” I replied, hoping to prove him wrong later.

  Danny sat in the center of the room. “First let’s see how you do getting back into spirit form.”

  Muttering to myself, I sat down across from him. I could do this. I had to. So, I closed my eyes and thought about the disc. It was easy to remember the cold and the sharpness of the magic. While it wasn’t a horrible feeling, it was very unpleasant. The sudden ice bath before feeling nothing…

  For a moment all I could feel was my normal magic. The steady, happy hum of it buzzed through me. It was always a part of who I was. Again, I thought about the disc and tried to find a similar feeling. I couldn’t find anything similar.

  Of course I couldn't, it was my soul I needed to try and find, not something with the magic within my body.

  Everything about the realization felt absurd. I could feel my cheeks flush with annoyance but didn’t bother opening my eyes. Learning could be irritating, but I could do this.

  Ignoring my normal magic, I quickly found the cold bit of magic I was looking for. The tingling familiarity of it was exciting, but I hesitated for a moment before plunging myself into the cold and then the nothingness.

  “Why is it so cold as a spirit?” I complained, ignoring my body. At least it wasn’t a crumpled heap for once. Instead, I looked like I was lying down comfortably.

  Danny laughed for a moment, laid down, and joined me. “It’s only half a second of unpleasant cold. No big deal.”

  “Uh-huh.” I rolled my eyes. “Okay, I did it. Now what?”

  “Back to what we discussed earlier.” Danny smiled happily. “You need to create a portal.”

  “Okay then…” I got up to pace.

  Floating around was much easier this time. The room was filled with odd magics. The blades that felt nearly lifeless earlier had much more magic to them now. Still likely useless, but it was much easier to see how much life was in them. The boxes Danny had kicked glowed softly, more gray than blue. The symbols on the shelves seemed to have bits of magic in them as well. Instead of attempting to complete my task, I found I was caught up in the wonder of this strange magic.

  “How is any of this magic even done?” I whispered, taking in all the varying shades of blues and grays.

  Danny walked over to a shelf that had next to nothing on it. Without explaining I could see magic go to his pointer finger as he slowly engraved a symbol. A tree without leaves was the final product. “Basically, it’s inputting your own life force into an object. Too much will wear you down and you’ll need to rest.”

  “What’s that symbol for?” I asked as I looked it over. A surprising amount of detail went into it.

  “It’s a dual symbol. It can mean the end or the beginning,” he replied softly. “That’s exactly where we are at. If we can’t solve this, it’s the end. If we can, it’ll be a new beginning for those with our magic.”

  We stood in silence for a moment.

  “Why did you go home?” I don't know why I asked it. It didn't seem important. Likely Danny was only here still because he left the others for a time.

  “My cousin died,” Danny said softly. He was at a loss for words for a moment. “I needed to make sure his murder didn’t go unavenged.”

  That wasn’t the turn I had been expecting. “What did you do?” I asked. I had no idea where this conversation would lead, and wondered if I had done the right thing by asking.

  “He was poisoned for sticking up for me.” Danny looked at his carving for a moment before moving to pace the room. “While I don’t flaunt that I’m trapped in the wrong body, many back where I grew up know who I am. Daniella is a much better name for me, but I’ve no idea how to adjust and transition. Adding in my strange magic makes many uneasy about me. I left home for what I thought would be the last time to get away from the negativity that latched onto that village. For the most part, many were understanding and kind, but those who could not accept it…”

  He trailed off for a moment, looking at another carving across the room. “With the help of other spirits I found all the information needed to jail my cousin's killer.” He laughed, but no humor was in his tone. “The village actually wanted him hung, but I fought for his life. I don’t even know why, but I know it’s what my cousin would have wanted.” He shrugged and walked back over to me. “The whole thing took about eight months, and then I got caught up with the spirits in the neighboring areas. When I got the message to hide my gifts, I laughed. When I really learned why it was nearly too late. I barely made it here. Spirits are one thing, but I cannot fight demons.”

  “Demons are a different nightmare altogether,” I agreed.

  “I never did thank you for being a distraction. I got here in one piece. It wasn’t until a day later word finally got to me about what you did.” Danny shrugged. “I’ve got no way to repay you for using such a risky plan.”

  “Would have gone just fine if I hadn’t hit that wall shield.” I cringed thinking about it.

  “I can actually show you how to get around that.” Danny smiled. “But I suppose we should get back to this first lesson.”


  “Right…. That portal,” I grumbled.

  “Yep, that annoying portal.” Danny chuckled, walking back over to me. “That portal that will whisk you away to the spirit realm.”

  “Yeah, that portal.” I rolled my eyes. “Any helpful hints?”

  “Stop overthinking it and just do it.” Danny laughed.

  “That is not helpful,” I grumbled at him.

  I tried calling this spirit magic to my fingertips and used it to slice through the air. For a moment it seemed to do something, but then it was gone.

  “Wait, what just happened?” I looked at my hands in surprise.

  “You did exactly what I told you.” Danny shrugged, continuing to be unhelpful.

  “Okay how do I make it bigger and stay longer?” I asked, not giving up.

  “Use more magic,” Danny mused.

  I glared at him. “I see why teaching wasn’t your thing.”

  “We really don't have time to go through months of training, so think of it as a blunt crash course.” Danny smiled sweetly.

  I continued to glare but called forward more magic and closed my eyes. In my mind, I pictured the portal Danny had showed me earlier, but this time it was bigger. With a deep breath I opened my eyes and sliced my magic into the air, and for once I felt it actually cutting into the magic of the world around it. The cut grew and I was able to create a hole. Without commenting, Danny grabbed my hand and thrust it into the hole and I was suddenly whisked through it.

  On the other side, Danny joined me and I finally saw her for who she actually was. There was no lying that the spirit realm showed one's true self. Her hair was long and braided. Her features were slightly softer and just a bit more feminine.

  “Daniella.” I nodded before glancing down at myself. I couldn’t tell how much I had changed, if at all.

  Daniella smirked, seeing my reaction, and conjured up a mirror. While I wanted to ask how, instead I was caught up by the sight of my own reflection. I looked older. My hair seemed darker and had more waves. It looked wonderful framing my face, but my eyes screamed of pain and sadness. It reminded me of all the spirits I had already seen and hadn’t been able to help.