A Place Called Eden

by R. H. Hull

  Jacob moved closer to Rebecca while she seemed to naturally lean toward him, both longing to be in each other’s arms. Jacob reached out to her, gathering sweet young Rebecca into his muscular arms, and as their lips met to engage in their first passionate kiss, a quick, loud staccato knock was heard on the window of Jacob’s car on the side where Rebecca was sitting! The embrace and kiss were quickly released, and Rebecca went from Jacob’s arms to a rude awakening as she turned and looked directly into the eyes of her grandmother who was peering into the car window!

  “Grandmother!” Rebecca cried out! It was all she could think of to say! They had been caught! Rebecca opened the door of Jacob’s car, got out, and her grandmother silently marched her into her house and closed the front door. She had not even had the opportunity to say goodbye to Jacob!

  Jacob felt that he should be doing something to rescue Rebecca from what might be an awful fate, but he could think of nothing to do at that moment! He sat in his car for a moment longer, and then slowly drove away, feeling terrible for Rebecca at what might be happening inside of her grandmother’s house at that very moment!

  When Rebecca and her grandmother walked into her house, her grandmother demanded an immediate response, “Who is that young man? Do your parents know that you are seeing him?” A deadly silence followed.

  Rebecca, still trying to gather herself after the shock of the sharp rap of her grandmother’s knuckles on Jacob’s car window while they were nearly engaged in a passionate kiss, replied, “His name is Jacob—Jacob Swenson. His family has been farming in our community for many years. In fact, they own the largest farms in our county.” Rebecca continued, talking as rapidly as she could think, hoping to avoid the otherwise terrible lecture that she was expecting from her grandmother!

  “Jacob plans on farming with his father once he graduates from school, and he will represent the sixth generation of his family to farm their many acres. The members of his family are good God-fearing people, and I admire Jacob very much. He is a very good, kind and trustworthy young man. As far as I am concerned, they don’t come any better!”

  Her grandmother thought for a moment, and then said sternly. “Before we discuss this any further, I thought I saw you kissing him. Were you?” she demanded.

  Rebecca thought quickly, and in order to protect both her and Jacob, she replied, “It may have looked like it, but we were talking, Grandmother, although as you saw, he had his arm around me.” In fact, the knock on the window by her grandmother had interrupted their passionate kiss, and so they truthfully weren’t really kissing at that very moment. Taking that tactic, Rebecca rationalized that she wasn’t really lying.

  “Well, it certainly looked like you were!” Then, Rebecca’s grandmother asked an all-important question, “Is his family of our Mennonite faith?” Rebecca did not pause, and replied truthfully, “No, Grandmother, they are not.”

  “But,” her Grandmother responded, “From what I saw, his car and manner of dress, and his facial whiskers would indicate that he is.”

  Rebecca paused, then replied, “He would like to fit into our Eden River Mennonite community, and…”

  Rebecca decided at that moment, for better or for worse, to tell all and so she continued, “…so that when we are together in his car, he nor his car wouldn’t be as noticeable as they would otherwise be.” Her grandmother looked shocked!

  “You mean that you would be with him outside of school? Do your parents know? What have they said?”

  Her grandmother continued, “Rebecca, you are at great risk of breaking from our church and your family! You know that, don’t you? Just what do you have to say for yourself?!” She was nearly shaking with emotion at what she thought she had seen within Jacob’s car, and at the conversation that she never thought she would have with Rebecca!

  “Before I answer you,” Rebecca responded bravely, for she had never spoken to her grandmother in this straightforward way, “I want you to know that Jacob, as I said before, comes from a good God-fearing family. His family owns large farms in our community, and were there long before our Mennonite church was even built! When Jacob assumes the farms, as I said, he will be the sixth generation of his family to farm in our community. Jacob is a strong, considerate, giving, and kind young man—the most kind and gentle of any of the young men I have met, and certainly much more so than those of our Mennonite community! I care for Jacob more than I ever thought I could care for anyone, Grandmother. But father does not want me to see him or be with him—ever! Mother seems to understand, but, of course she does not want me to deceive father by seeing Jacob behind his back. But, in fact, I am not afraid to tell you that I will do whatever is necessary to see Jacob, and be with him!”

  “Father wants me to see Mennonite young men from our Order of the Mennonite faith, but I do not want to be with them! Most of them do not know how treat a woman with respect, and besides, most of them are my relatives—at least my second cousin. In my health course that I took in high school, we were warned not to marry a relative since birth defects in their children can very often occur. Further, all they seem to want in a wife is someone to cook and clean for them, and to be subservient to their wants and needs! That is not what I want in a young man who might eventually become my husband. I want more than that! And, just because Jacob is not a member of our Mennonite Order does not mean that he is any less than they are. In fact, he is more than they are!” Rebecca’s grandmother sat listening to this brave young woman, her mouth open, apparently stunned!

  “And again Grandmother, No—he is not of our Mennonite Order. His family is of the Methodist church. But that church is also of the Christian faith, just like our church. There is no difference!”

  “But,” her Grandmother responded as she looked firmly at Rebecca, “They are ‘of the world,’ and therefore, their son Jacob is also ‘of the world’! There is no difference? That is the difference! We cannot openly mix with them!”

  At that moment, Rebecca responded to her Grandmother in a way she never thought she would ever have the courage when she asked, “But, what is the world, Grandmother? Tell me, Grandmother, what is the world that makes us so righteous and so much better than Jacob’s family? Can you tell me Grandmother?”

  Her Grandmother was silent. She said nothing, but paused momentarily and then went quietly to the refrigerator and brought Rebecca some milk and peanut butter for a peanut butter sandwich as an after-school snack. She remained silent—apparently in deep thought for a long moment while she spread the peanut butter on the bread for the sandwich, apparently thinking about what Rebecca had just said, and how she had said it. No grandchild had ever before spoken to her in that way—not in that tone of voice!

  In her eyes, Rebecca was still only a child, eighteen going onto nineteen years of age, but yet was speaking as an adult—sternly, yet thoughtfully. And, most importantly, she had made statements against their Mennonite faith in the name of justifying her desire for a relationship with a non-Old Order Mennonite young man!

  But then it suddenly dawned on Rebecca’s grandmother. Was Rebecca attempting to justify her relationship with that young man, or was she speaking a profound truth from which she herself had been shielded for so many years? Since she now lived in town, Rebecca’s Grandmother had a number of friends and acquaintances there, none of whom of her Mennonite Order, but rather were Methodist, Lutheran, Presbyterian, and other denominations. They are nice people—lady friends who are just as thoughtful and kind as those from their Eden River Mennonite community. And then it dawned on her—they are “of the world!”

  The primary difference between those other denominations, she had justified in her own mind, was that beside living the simple, non-worldly life of their Old Order Mennonite faith, they were also non-combatant—that is, not serving in the military service, but rather serving through Voluntary Service in this and other countries—not serving in the military service, but rather serving to support, heal, rebuild, restore and help others in need around
this country and the world. That was a major difference between those of their Mennonite faith and those “of the world.”

  Rebecca’s grandmother pondered those thoughts, and compared them with the life that Jacob, Rebecca’s male acquaintance and his family lived. Even though they were, according to Rebecca, known to be good God-fearing people, they were still “of the world.”

  Rebecca continued in anticipation of her grandmother’s argument about the non-combatant nature of their Mennonite Order by saying, “The Swensons, including Jacob, are farmers, and farmers do not have to serve in the armed forces since their services are needed here in time of war. They are exempt from serving in the military, Grandmother. Jacob and his family are gentle, nurturing, and kind. Jacob reflects all of those characteristics, and he does not fit the mold of what we call ‘the world’.” Her Grandmother listened quietly.

  At last she did respond, “Needless to say,” she said as she busied herself completing the preparation Rebecca’s after school snack, “You have made up your mind about Jacob. I am leaving it up to your parents to deal with your situation. You are essentially of age, Rebecca, when you will make decisions that will affect your life and your relationship with our family and our church. When I was your age, I was already married. In my day, when the Mennonite young people graduated from the eighth grade, they went no further in their education. Young men became prepared for farming or another occupation, and the young women worked at home and prepared to become married and then become a mother in a few years.”

  “Your life is different, Rebecca. Your parents have allowed you to enter ‘the world’ by furthering your education, and you have met someone from ‘the world’! I am trying to understand you, Rebecca. Your life is different. You are of a different generation of Old Order Mennonite, and so I am trying my best to understand and accept that difference—that change in our young people.”

  Rebecca paused to ponder the words of her Grandmother. She was ready to fight for what she believed in, but the apparent conciliatory tone of her Grandmother suddenly changed that. All she could think of to say at the moment was, “Thank you Grandmother. I love you.”

  Rebecca’s mother stopped in front of the house where she was waiting. She had finished the peanut butter sandwich and glass of milk that her Grandmother had prepared for her, and was ready to leave. Her mother came inside and asked if she was ready to go.

  Rebecca began to pick up her school books and jacket, and started out the door when her Grandmother stopped her, and in a deliberate tone said to her mother, “Rebecca and I had a long and informative talk. I hope that she shares it with you.” Those were the words that Rebecca had hoped her Grandmother would not say. She did not want to continue the discussion so soon! She needed time to think, not talk!

  But it happened sooner than she desired. In fact, just as soon as she and her mother entered the car, her mother asked, “What was your talk with my mother, your Grandmother, about Rebecca? From what she said, it sounded as though it was rather important. Do you want to share it with me?”

  Rebecca was momentarily silent, trying to recall all that was said. It seemed as though she had done most of the talking, trying to convince her grandmother that seeing Jacob was okay, that he was no different than those of her Mennonite faith, speaking as she had never spoken to her grandmother before—even challenging her and their Mennonite faith, something that young women of her faith simply did not do when speaking to one’s elders!

  The silence was broken by her mother who asked Rebecca one more time what the apparently important conversation that she had with her grandmother consisted of. Rebecca began thoughtfully, not wanting to lie, but still hesitant to divulge all of the conversation, “Oh mother, we talked about so many things. Jacob had driven me to her house after school since Tom couldn’t. Right after Jacob pulled up in front of grandmother’s house, and we began to talk, grandmother rapped her knuckles on the window of his car. I had intended to run to her house before she saw who I was with. But she was right there just as soon as Jacob pulled over to the curb!”

  “Oh mother, he had put his arm around my shoulders, and started to kiss me goodbye just as grandmother was standing there knocking on his car window! Is it a sin to be kissed? Is it a sin to feel so strongly about a young man that you want him to kiss you? And, it wasn’t going to be a big passionate kiss, just a little kiss just to say goodbye. But she told me to get out the car, and marched me to her house like I was a little girl! I was embarrassed, and I couldn’t even say goodbye to Jacob!”

  “What did you tell your grandmother,” her mother inquired. “I told her that he is a very special young man by the name of Jacob Swenson. I did not tell her that I care for him more than I thought I could ever care for any young man. I informed her that his family has farmed in our community for several generations, that their farms are the largest in our county, and that Jacob will be the sixth generation when he assumes his role on them with his father. I think Grandmother already knows about his family.”

  “You were very brave, Rebecca, since as you know, she is of the ‘Old Order’ Mennonite, and daughters of her generation were to only be with young men of her Mennonite Order, not those ‘of the world’.”

  “I did not feel that I was being brave, mother. But I do know that I spoke to her in a way I have never spoken to her before,” Rebecca replied.

  Her mother continued, “Did you say more, Rebecca?”

  Rebecca paused, not knowing quite what to say, but then continued, “I suppose that I was, indeed, somewhat brave when I said to grandmother that I do not feel that Jacob is any different than people of our Mennonite faith, that ‘of the world’ does not make any difference, that it is the person who makes the difference, and that Jacob is in many ways kinder, gentler, and more nurturing than many, if not all of the Alderman Mennonite young men of our church!”

  “You were, indeed, speaking bravely, Rebecca. I would not have been able to speak to her that way when I was your age—or in fact any age!”

  Rebecca’s mother continued, but now with a knowing smile, “Now, I am almost afraid to ask if you said more!”

  Rebecca thought for a moment, and then replied, “No, that was about all, I guess. But I wish that I would have said more. But I did say, or at least reminded her that most young Mennonite men of our Order—our community are relatives of ours. Many are first and second cousins. I have learned in my biology and health classes in high school that there is a high risk in marrying relatives. The children born of those marriages are at risk of disability or death, and I have seen that happening here in our community. It’s becoming difficult to meet young men who are not at least a second cousin! And, I do not desire to date a cousin, no matter what father wants me to do!”

  “Yes,” her mother replied, “I am aware that you and your brother Tom are becoming far more well educated than others of our family have achieved over the years, and are learning about things that we wish we would have known about, such as intermarriage. You must remember, your grandmother nor I, nor your father have gone beyond the eighth grade, which has been the tradition within our community. And, as I said, your grandmother was raised as an ‘Old Order’ Mennonite. They do not hold to anyone marrying outside of our faith or our Order of Mennonite. In her day, and still somewhat today, that requirement is held to so strictly that anyone who does marry outside of our Order of Mennonite can be held accountable for breaking tradition, and may be excommunicated from the church, and even from their family, or at least ‘shunned’! And, being shunned is one of the worst, most isolating experiences one can encounter!”

  “You, Rebecca, are our only daughter, and I am sure that you would not be held to excommunication from our family. In regard to being shunned, I am not sure what your grandmother would do. We, your father, brother, or I would not, although I am quite sure that your father might consider the latter. You know how strongly he feels about any relationship outside of our faith.”

  Rebecca was sile
nt for a moment, and then responded thoughtfully, “Does not love between a young man and a young woman have a place in our religion—our conservative Mennonite beliefs? Father and grandmother seem to feel that belonging to our Mennonite Order is all that is necessary in a relationship.” Her mother replied, “In my day and in the day of your father’s upbringing, that in all probability may have been all that was necessary for a relationship to be solidified into marriage. When your father and I were married, I was probably not sure whether I loved him or not, although I did respect him. But, through the years, I have grown to care deeply for him, so perhaps in my day that is what ‘love’ was all about.”

  “But,” Rebecca replied, “I feel that there is more to a relationship than ‘caring’. I feel that there needs to be a deep down strong and wonderful feeling, a feeling of love, that you know you don’t want to be with anyone else—a deep down ‘fluttery’ feeling whenever you see the other person—and you know in your heart that he is absolutely the one you cannot live without!,” Rebecca said dreamily. “That is what I feel when I am with Jacob, and I think he has those same feelings when he sees me in spite of my plain clothes and my Mennonite cap and my plain shoes and my tightly braided hair. He seems to see me beyond those things—he seems to see into my heart and even into my very soul!”

  “My, but you are stricken aren’t you, Rebecca?” her mother remarked.

  “I don’t know if I am ‘stricken,’ mother, but rather I know deep down that I care deeply for Jacob, and if that is ‘love,’ then that is what it is!” Those words almost choked Rebecca, primarily from fear of what her mother would say, or do. But instead, her mother said nothing as she pulled the car into the driveway.

  As they pulled in front of the back door of their house, her mother said quietly, “It must be a wonderful feeling, Rebecca, to be young and in love with a very special young man. I wish that I could have had that opportunity when I was your age.” And, her mother sighed almost inaudibly.