Bun in the Oven: The Misadventures of the Laundry Hag, #6

by Jennifer L. Hart

  I was looking around franticly, trying to find a place where I could hide the items in my hands when the doorbell rang.

  I shoved the stuff at Kenny. “Take that all to my room. Go go go!”

  “Yes Ma’am!” He knocked off a jaunty salute and then sped down the hall. Wisenheimer.

  “Josh, incoming!” I yelled and headed for the door. Plastering what I hoped was a pleasant expression on my face, I threw the locks open and turned the knob, half expecting to hear an ominous groaning sound like from a horror movie.

  Laura stood on the other side. Her brown hair was neat in her usual bob, hazel eyes sharp and critical in her birdlike face. She was long and lean like a human greyhound, dressed in black slacks and a pale green twinset. Creamy pearls and jet pumps completed the signature look of one of the East Coast’s most formidable corporate attorneys.

  Even at my best I was no match for her seamless elegance. Nine months pregnant and sweating like a whore in church with my half assed attempt at cleaning lurking behind me like a bad smell and I was totally outclassed.

  “Maggie, dear.” Laura leaned in to air kiss my sweaty cheek.

  “How are you Laura?” I never knew what to do when she did that so I stood there like a tree until she pulled away. That’s when I noticed the other woman. She was smaller than Laura, smaller than me, maybe five one. Her skin was the color of rich milk chocolate and her teeth were white and even as she smiled at me. Something about her struck me as oddly familiar, though I was sure we’d never met. “Who’s this?”

  “She’s the surprise.” Laura cleared her throat. “Maggie, this is Grace McCoy. Grace, this is my daughter-in-law, Maggie. May we come in?”

  Rats, I was hoping we could do whatever it was Laura wanted to do on the porch. “Of course. Can I get either of you anything?”

  The newcomer shook her head and Laura breezed past me into the living room, the frown evident on her face. “It appears Grace and I are here just in time.”

  Whatever that meant. Since I didn’t want to resort to my rollie pollie crawlie dismount when it was time to see them out, I chose to stand on my sore feet. “Would you like to sit, Grace?”

  “Thank you.” Another flash of the smile. “You should get off your feet, too.”

  “I will.” As soon as I saw them out.

  “Grace is a doula.” Laura said the words as though I had the faintest idea what a doula might be. .

  “Oh? That must be nice. For you.” Was I smooth or what?

  Grace simply smiled.

  Laura frowned. “She’s here to help you with the birth.”

  “Say what now?” My head whipped between the two women.

  “Yes, she became available at the last minute. I’ve been trying to find you a reputable one but everyone’s having babies this season. It’s all the rage. Ideally someone would have started with you months ago, but we lucked out when Grace became available. She’s trained as a nurse. I’ve checked all her credentials thoroughly. Since we’re short on time I thought she could simply move in with you.”

  “Move in?” I repeated faintly. “Where?”

  “Why, the baby’s room of course. You have that spare bed next to the crib. Neil showed it to me the last time we were here. Just throw some sheets on it. Now, I have to go.” Laura rose.

  “Go?”

  “Why are you repeating everything I say?”

  “Just feeling...overwhelmed.”

  Laura nodded as though she understood. “No need to thank me. And of course, her fee is all taken care of. She’ll do a little light housekeeping and make sure you have plenty of time to rest. I wish I’d known about doulas when I was in your position. You’ll be a new mom any day now and will welcome the help.” She patted my stomach and headed for the door.

  For the first time in my life I wanted to call out to her, tell her not to go. Especially now that she’d invited a total stranger to move into my nursery.

  “Come, sit down.” Grace had risen too. She took my arm and guided me over to the couch. “You look like you have questions.”

  “A few.” I sat where she indicated and she took the seat next to me radiating a calming and serene energy.

  Her voice was soft and musical. “I’ll answer whatever I can. I’m here to help.”

  Might as well start at the beginning. “What exactly is a doula supposed to do?”

  “SO SHE’S HERE NOW?” Neil asked as he stood in the doorway to our bedroom, toweling off Atlas, who he’d just bathed to remove the traces of extra virgin olive oil. “You just let her move in?”

  “What was I supposed to do? Laura abandoned her here.” I set down my smart phone where I’d been frantically googling doula for the past hour. “Apparently she’s supposed to be like a professional birthing companion. She’ll answer my questions about the labor and delivery and will be here to help with the baby for a few days after.”

  “Is this something you wanted?” Neil rose and Atlas snuffled toward the bed, ripe with the distinctive aroma of wet dog. Atlas looked at Neil’s side of the bed, glanced back to his master and poised to jump.

  “Don’t even think about it.” Neil told the dog.

  “I could use a hand around here, especially with you working. Plus she’s a trained nurse. It sounds like a win-win, especially with your mother picking up the tab.” I decided not to mention the deja vu feeling I’d had when I first encountered Grace. I wanted to see if Neil picked up on it too.

  “They still feel bad about Ralph’s business dealings getting you into trouble last summer. Typical of my folks, the guiltier they feel, the more money they throw at it.” Neil toed off his sneakers. “I’d feel better about it if you had Mackenzie run a background check. Just make sure she’s not some sort of nut.”

  Mackenzie Taylor was a kickass P.I. who operated in Boston. Her daughter, Mac, babysat for us on occasion. “Your mother already vetted her.”

  Neil huffed out a breath. “My mother’s focus would be on credentials involving political movers and shakers. I want to make sure this woman isn’t a lunatic. Humor me.”

  “Will do.”

  “How did the boys take to her?”

  “Pretty well actually. She jumped right in to help with the dinner clean up so I could rest. They were a little hesitant at first, but she won them over. She has a very calming sort of energy.”

  Neil lowered himself to the side of the bed and tugged off one sock and then the other. “A calming energy? Like Sylvia?”

  Mental forehead smack. “Cripes, I forgot all about the Eric thing. I feel like Baby X is sucking out my brain cells day by day. Was the car gone when you came home?”

  Neil was busy tugging his shirt over his head. He removed it and then sighed. “I didn’t think to look.”

  “Would you?” I implored.

  He eyed me. “Will it ease your mind?”

  “Probably not but I’d still appreciate it.”

  Neil disappeared down the hall and returned a few minutes later. “The car’s still there. No lights on in the house that I could see.”

  My teeth sank into my lower lip. “So what do we do?”

  “Right now? We sleep.” Neil crawled into bed.

  “But—” I shifted, using the body pillow to help ease me onto my side so I could face him.

  “No buts. I have off tomorrow and I promise to scour the town for Eric if that’s what you want but for right now, I want a few hours of R&R.”

  I settled in next to him, physically exhausted and trying to convince myself he was right. Visiting hours were long over, so I couldn’t pop by to see Sylvia. Driving around town looking for Eric like he was a lost dog didn’t sound appealing. And it was too soon to call the police.

  He could be anywhere, with anyone, doing any number of things. I had no place to even start hunting.

  I’d promised Neil that I’d call Mackenzie and have her run a background check on Grace. Maybe while I had her on the line I’d see what she could unearth about a missing man as well.<
br />
  Chapter Three

  I entered the kitchen the next morning to find Grace at the table, sipping from a fragrant mug. She looked up when I entered, Atlas hot on my heels.

  “Good morning, Maggie.”

  “Morning. Did you sleep well?” I headed to the door to let Atlas out. I stood on tiptoe to see over the fence. The Lexus was dew coated and Sylvia’s house remained still. I turned back to Grace, tamping down my unease.

  “Very well. The room is very peaceful.” Grace had set her cell phone aside.

  I smiled, glad she appreciated the little touches we had added to the former home office. Neil had painted the walls fern green at my request and my pal Leo painted a mural of Noah’s Ark animals on one wall. “What are you drinking? It smells divine.”

  “Herbal tea, my own blend. Helps boost the digestive and immune systems. Would you care to try some?”

  I rubbed my belly gently. “Is it okay? I mean for the baby?”

  “Absolutely, no caffeine. I use all natural ingredients.” She rose and extracted a small wooden box from her shoulder bag and brought it to me. “Smell.”

  I took a deep breath and scented mint as well as something I couldn’t identify. “It’s lovely.”

  “Mostly it’s rose hips and mint with a little ginger and chamomile. I’d be happy to fix you a cup.”

  “Really?” When was the last time anyone had offered to fix me a cup of anything? I was the fixer, the one who provided comfort for others. “Okay, great.”

  Grace had a little wire mesh strainer that fit perfectly over the rim of a mug. She spooned out a few teaspoons from her box and added hot water from the steaming kettle. She set the mug down in front of me and I immediately wrapped my hands around it, soaking in the warmth.

  Grace let Atlas back in before retaking her seat. “Is now a good time to go over your birth plan?”

  “Birth plan?” I blinked, unsure of what she meant.

  “For labor and delivery,” she coaxed.

  “Well I guess my plan was pretty much to give birth.” I rubbed a hand over my swollen belly. “Preferably sooner rather than later.”

  Grace smiled and in the same gentle way she’d clarified her role—which after hours of research I was still sort of fuzzy on— she explained, “A birth plan is a written statement to let everyone involved with the birth know what you do and do not want to have happen during labor and delivery. For instance, do you have any allergies?”

  I shook my head no and sipped from the tea. It was weak and unsweetened but flavorful. Never take the place of coffee though.

  Grace had picked up her phone again and her agile fingers flew over the keyboard. “Alright. What about pain management?”

  Oh good, an easy one. “Drugs and keep them coming.”

  She blinked.

  “Maggie has a bit of anxiety about hospitals.” Neil said from the doorway. He was tussled from sleep and day old stubble was making a valiant effort to overtake his strong chin.

  “Mr. Phillips?” Grace rose and offered Neil her hand, which he shook.

  “That’s right. Sorry we didn’t get a chance to talk last night. Your arrival was sort of sudden.”

  “Typically I’m booked up a few months in advance, but my last mother delivered two weeks ahead of schedule.”

  “Lucky,” I grumbled.

  Neil put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed lightly.

  “So you don’t like hospitals?” Grace was back to focusing on me.

  “That’s an understatement.”

  “Who do you plan on having in the delivery room?”

  “Just Neil. And the medical people of course.” I looked up at my husband. “Is Mac still willing to stay here with the boys?”

  He nodded. “I called her yesterday to confirm. And then there’s Leo and my folks as back up.”

  I put my hand over his.

  “What about a C-section?” Grace asked. “Do you feel strongly one way or the other?”

  “Whatever is best for the baby, I guess.” Not that I was jumping for joy at the thought of surgery on top of childbirth, but the notion of passing something the size of a watermelon out of my lady parts didn’t give me the warm fuzzies either.

  Grace tapped some more into her phone before looking back at me. “Okay. As long as we are all on the same page. I have some aromatherapy and massage techniques that might help with your anxiety as well as the pain management, if you are interested. It’s not my job to interfere with medical staff or try to influence your decisions. Mostly I’m going to provide support.”

  “How many births have you been involved with?” Neil asked.

  Good question, one that my stupid pregnancy addled brain hadn’t even thought to ask.

  Grace folded her hands on the table, the picture of serenity. “Thirty seven. Only two of those were C-sections, both due to medical necessity.”

  Neil wasn’t done with the interrogation. “Maggie mentioned you used to be a nurse. What prompted such a drastic change in career?”

  “Lifestyle mostly. As a labor and delivery nurse I could only spend a finite amount of time with each patient. As a doula one hundred percent of my time is focused on a mother and child.”

  Her answer must have appeased Neil because he slipped his hand off my shoulder and headed toward the coffee pot.

  “More tea?” Grace asked.

  I looked down with some surprise to see my mug was empty. And surprise surprise, I had to pee again. “I’m good for now, thanks.”

  After using the facilities, I shuffled back into the bedroom to get dressed. It was a monumental task requiring herculean effort and a will I sorely lacked. All the maternity clothes were stiff and scratchy. Even the cotton fabric annoyed my too sensitive skin. Underwear no longer fit, bra cups overflowed and I’d about burst every elastic waistband in my closet. My next stop shopping trip was going to be a tentmaker.

  Finally, I settled on my tried and true muumuu. No matter how much weight I gained or lost, the shapeless blue dress always fit and the fabric seemed to float around me instead of cling. Luckily the gravy stains had come out in the last washing.

  After running a brush through my snarled hair, I twisted it up off my neck and secured it with a comb then slid sandals onto my feet. My reflection said, big, fat and pregnant. Good, just the look I was aiming for. Am I a fashionista or what?

  “Today’s the day, right Baby X?” I said, focusing on my belly bulge. “You’ve scheduled your cameo for today so mommy doesn’t have to tell Aunt Sylvia that her no-good sperm doner has am-scrayed, right?”

  Baby X dropped what was either a knee or an elbow against my spleen.

  “Ooof,” I’d just cracked the door to the bedroom but the sudden pain hit me like a wave. I doubled over, well, I bent as much as a nine month pregnant woman can bend at her nonexistent waistline. Neil had just exited the bathroom and rushed down the hall to my side.

  “What is it, love? Is the baby coming?”

  I filled my lungs to capacity, letting the pain recede before answering. “Don’t think so. Though we might want to schedule him or her for MMA classes.”

  “A little fighter, huh? I bet it’s a girl. Do you want to sit?”

  Sitting was no guarantee I’d be any more comfortable these days.

  “How about breakfast?”

  The thought made my stomach turn over. “I’d rather go for a walk.”

  “Is this a real desire to get some fresh air and exercise or are we scouring the neighborhood for Eric?”

  “Can’t it be both?”

  “Maggie, I said I would handle it.”

  “You said you would take her bag. What are you going to do, just drop it off with one of the nurses?”

  Neil winced and I knew that was exactly what he’d planned to do.

  “I should go see her at least. She has to be worried about him by now. And wouldn’t it be better if we actually had something to tell Sylvia? Some sort of insight to share before dropping the bomb that Eric�
�s nowhere to be found? She’ll be in a panic and that’s the absolute last thing she or the baby need right now.”

  “The fact that he hasn’t come back to the hospital yet has probably clued her in.”

  I had a pithy remark ready to fly but Grace appeared at our bedroom door.

  “If it’s all right with the two of you, I have a few personal matters to see to this morning. I left my cell phone number taped to the fridge so you can get a hold of me at any time and I should be back around one o’clock.”

  “Have fun.” I waved, partly relieved that it was just going to be us for a bit but also a little concerned.

  “What’s with the face?” Neil asked.

  “It just sort of dawned on me that the only person with any real experience involving child birth is leaving. Until Grace showed up yesterday I hadn’t spent much time thinking about anything other than not wanting to be pregnant.”

  Neil rubbed the small of my back. “Are you sorry we didn’t take one of those birthing classes?”

  The ones where you and a bunch of couples practiced deep breathing in a public forum while sitting on a much used yoga mat? “Not in the slightest. It’s more that I just figured I’d go into this the way I do everything else. Head on and keep plodding forward until I get to where I need to be. But Grace reminds me that something could go wrong and that there’s nothing you or I can do to fix it.”

  The thought was spinning around and around in my head along with a rising sense of panic. Sure the pregnancy books had talked about the plethora of things that could go wrong during labor and delivery but I’d never imagined them happening to Baby X. Or to myself.

  “Oh shit,” Neil wiped a tear away from my face. His own expression stricken.

  “What?” His obvious freak out distracted me from my morose thoughts.

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  I burst out laughing.