How Not to Date a Fae

by Stephanie Burke

  “I have no opinion on the matter.” Ario sighed, thumbing through the pictures and remembering his homeland. “I was not reared to be a warrior.”

  “Then what were you reared to be, lad?” Cailte asked. “Because you are special and understanding, and quite skillful with your hands. You are graceful in your movements, and you make me feel utterly relaxed. Are there male geisha? Are you one?”

  “I -- I am something different,” Ario stammered, closing his eyes and inhaling sharply.

  “What are ya, lad?” Cailte’s brogue was thicker, his voice deeper, and he almost breathed his question into Ario’s ear.

  “I -- I am…” He turned in Cailte’s arms to explain that he was in fact some type of whore and an outcast with no family name when his phone buzzed again.

  He looked down and snarled as he saw the number. “Why must they plague me so?” he breathed, shaking his head in defeat.

  “They?”

  “My family… my once-family.” Ario pressed the button to silence the phone, but he knew they would be calling back.

  “Once-family?” Cailte took the phone from his hand and tossed it aside. Ario ignored the clatter as it hit the hardwood floor.

  “I -- I am an outcast.” He said the words as calmly as he could, hoping his voice held steady. “My family no longer acknowledges me. To them, I am dead.”

  “Yet they call?”

  “They have a need.”

  “And only you can fulfill it.” Cailte ran his broad hand over Ario’s face, his gaze softening.

  “Only I.”

  “Because?” Cailte urged.

  “Because of what I am.”

  “Full circle then, lad.” Cailte gave him a gruff hug, pulling him into the shelter of his larger body. “What are ya?”

  “I -- I guess I am -- I --” How did one tell his lover that he was a legalized whore because of family traditions and an accident of birth? “I am -- I was -- the Komiko.”

  “Komiko?” Cailte was now running his hands through Ario’s hair, and Ario had to fight the urge to just purr and relax into his hold.

  “I… I was chosen because of the specific manifestation of magic in my family. It is why I can so easily accept what you are telling me about yourself, about compacts with fairies and pixies, and deep sleep that lasts for thousands of years.”

  “And what were you chosen to do?” Cailte took a seat beside him, and Ario could not help but fold into his embrace.

  Ario dropped his gaze, looking anywhere but at Cailte. This might be the last time he was held in such a way by this giant of a man. “From the time I was a young boy, the people would come to my temple. In our temple, because of my powers, I was called upon to perform certain duties. My main duty had to do with what my family’s magic is geared for.”

  “And that is?”

  “Fertility,” Ario sighed. “I -- I engaged in sexual acts, Cailte.” Ario waited for the explosion. “My family was paid a temple fee for the use of my abilities, first with touch and, as I aged, with full coitus.” He closed his eyes, not wanting to see that purple gaze slide into disgust for him.

  But instead of the heaped recriminations he expected, there was a soft caress to his face. He opened his eyes and looked up at his soon-to-be-ex lover, waiting for the rain of nasty words, but all he saw was compassion.

  “Ario, love, they used you sorely.”

  At these words, Ario finally broke down and did something that he had never had the strength to do since he fled from his lover and his family in Japan.

  He wept.

  * * *

  It was the sun shining in his face that woke Ario several hours later.

  He blinked and sat up, yawning and stretching his arms over his head. Had he ever slept so well before in his life? He doubted it.

  He turned to the person responsible and found… an empty bed.

  Had Cailte been overcome with disgust anyway and left during the night? No, he didn’t think Cailte would be that type of person. Besides, Cailte had no other place to go.

  Maybe the man was exploring the wonders of a modern bathroom again, or maybe, God forbid, he was in the kitchen, which was a much scarier thought.

  Ario tossed the covers back, ready to save his house and his hide only to let out a squeak as the blankets began to shake and twitch.

  Curious, he eased the sheets back, peering into the folds of blankets to find an annoyed-looking ground squirrel chattering at him.

  “You gave me a fright,” he complained to the small creature, who rolled beady black eyes at him. “Why are you here?”

  Ario wrinkled his nose as he came to the conclusion that talking to small animals was much worse than talking to yourself. Even the squirrel was looking at him like he had gone insane.

  “I had best find my guest,” he commented, reassuring himself that he was not talking to the animal.

  He didn’t recall much of last night beyond the fact that he had cried like he hadn’t allowed himself to do in years. To finally have someone understand what he had gone through, what he had been feeling -- it was a heady thing.

  He had tried to explain his situation to his partners before he dropped out of the actual day-to-day handling of his companies, but no one understood, not really. There was no place for a half-breed Asian Komiko estranged from his family and far away from the culture and traditions that had insulated as well as abused him.

  So he managed and compiled and compartmentalized it all until it was stored away, an aching ball of anger and pain until one special man showed him kindness and understanding. Then it all exploded in bitter tears and unsuppressed rage.

  And through the storm of tears, Cailte had just held him, letting Ario’s expression of anger and pain run itself out. He held him, never once trying to stop him. Cailte had just held him and let him be. Never before had Ario appreciated such a wondrous show of quiet strength.

  Now, instead of feeling embarrassed, he felt relieved. Cailte knew about him, not all the details and facts, but enough to know why he was the man that he’d turned out to be. And now, on this new day, it was time to go back to being the host, to ensure his guest -- his lover -- would have what he needed.

  With those thoughts in mind, Ario made his way to the bathroom, to take care of his morning ablutions, and then went searching for his lover, the small squirrel at his heels.

  Cailte was not in the kitchen or in any of the open rooms, so Ario wandered out toward his back yard. When he drew close, a mad mix of chirping and chattering and the solid thump of metal striking wood assaulted his ears.

  He slid open the large patio doors and ventured forth, his tiny escort rushing out before he could get the doors fully open. He stepped out and was instantly enveloped by hot and humid air. It was going to be another unbearably hot day. He could feel the heat rising from the wooden planks he had already laid out for his deck which, he suddenly realized, was nearly finished.

  There, at the end of the deck on his knees, in his short pants and leather moccasins, was Cailte. His long red hair was secured in a braid low on his neck. Ario watched the man’s muscles flex under his pale but reddening skin as he pounded a nail into a plank.

  All around him were some of the less shy animals from Ario’s private forest, looking as if they were advising his actions and giving commentary that didn’t seem to be appreciated.

  “Well, I canna just stand under a tree for shelter, and neither can my Ario,” he was grumbling at a deer. “And no --” he turned toward a red fox, “-- we canna just burrow into the ground and make a den.”

  “Friends?” Ario asked, and startled a smile out of Cailte, who rose to his feet and cast his hammer aside.

  “Aye.” He chuckled. “Friends who think they have the right of it, and that we poor humans are just silly and making extra work for ourselves.”

  Ario was pulled into a sweaty embrace and very soundly kissed, Cailte’s tongue pressing deep into his mouth and teasing his tongue.

  “And how are y
a, lad?” Cailte held him at arm’s length and ran his eyes over his body. “I think I like this, lad. It’s almost as soft as your skin.”

  “A yukata,” Ario explained. “It is the traditional summer dress for my people.”

  “And it makes it easier for me to get at your fun parts.” Cailte’s leer was enough to bring laughter to Ario’s lips, and he indulgently gave in and let the sound roll out.

  “You are doing very good work,” Ario said when he recovered himself somewhat and pulled away to look over what Cailte had done. “How long have you been out here?”

  “Let’s just say I’ve had my fill of sleep for the moment.” Cailte’s voice and expression were rueful as he followed along behind Ario. “So I had some time on my hands and some extra energy, and I decided to look around. They --” he gestured to the animals, “-- told me what you were doing, and I decided to assist.”

  “You did not have to do that,” Ario protested, only to be cut off by the long arms that embraced him and pulled him back against the solid warmth of Cailte’s chest. “But you did a very good job.”

  “I wanted to help, lad.” Ario was given another squeeze, one that lifted his feet from the ground. “And I am glad that you approve of my work. I have built houses before, lad. I know my way around wood.”

  Ario decided to let the double entendre lie and instead turned to complete the embrace. He was not used to getting hugs, and he decided that as long as Cailte was there and willing, he would take advantage.

  “Are you hungry?” he asked, pulling back and reaching up to push a few wispy tendrils of hair behind Cailte’s pointed ears. “Would you like to break your fast?”

  “If it is not too much trouble,” Cailte answered. “I ate the cold soup and those small cakes you brought to my room last night. They were unusual but good,” he was quick to assure. “Are we going to have more of the same?”

  “No.” Ario laughed, easily reading Cailte’s desire for more familiar food. “I will prepare for you eggs and sausage, more Western fare.”

  “Thank you, lad.” Cailte grinned. “Not that your Japanese food was bad, it was just strange to my tongue.”

  “I understand.” Ario turned to make his way back inside to dress and then cook a proper Western breakfast for his lover. “I had the same problem with American food. If you think Japanese cooking is strange, you have to try an American hot dog.”

  “American?” Cailte clearly didn’t understand. “And they eat dogs?”

  “I will show you on the computer.” Ario laughed outright. He walked across his nearly completed deck and opened the sliding glass doors. “I will not be long.”

  Cailte nodded and returned to his work. Ario, sans his escort, made his way back to his bedroom to dress.

  Almost as soon as he finished pulling on the loose track pants and the tank top he planned on wearing that day, his forgotten phone began to ring.

  Almost without thinking, he answered with a cheery, “Moshi-moshi.”

  “It is about time you answered this phone.”

  “Tama,” he growled, his day darkening more and more by the second.

  * * *

  “You can come on out, now,” Cailte called as Ario disappeared back into the house. “I have no idea why you were hiding, anyway.”

  “I just didn’t want to be seen right now,” Merrick snorted, crossing his arms over his bare chest, his tiny leather kilt glistening in the sun. “Now is not the time for us to converse again. Now is the time for me to ensure that you can survive in this new world.”

  “Survive.” Cailte rolled his eyes. “Right.”

  “You find it a hardship to be here?”

  “No.” Cailte shrugged, dropping to his knees at the edge of the nearly completed deck. “I have no idea how it is to live here. And I am not sure if I will like it or not.”

  Merrick snickered at his giant of a friend pounding nails like a common laborer, and that only made Cailte growl more.

  “And what are people thinking, lad? It’s all a focking load of ballsch?” He eyed the snickering fae, and his indignation grew. “What are you laughing at, me boy-o? This time is fecking banjaxed, I tell you!”

  “You just need to study more on how things are now.” Merrick laughed, his tinkling voice sounding like bells in the early morning air. The small animals that had gathered around and had been so helpful to him that day rushed to get under the pixy as he tossed off pixy dust in his amusement.

  “Oh, I have been studying, my wee friend. I have studied on the computer box. I have heard about an eye-phone and an eye-pad, and an eye-book and now I wonder if people ever use their eyes for looking --”

  “Your care has been entrusted to me,” Merrick interrupted, “and where I come from, that means that I do not go away until your destiny is fulfilled. You were promised rewards for your great deeds. And unlike your uncle, you do not dream of conquest. You took a consort and ensured that your bloodline stayed strong while supporting your king and your leader. You get what you deserve, and that is final.”

  “And that involves this bleeding new technology and trying to understand what the human race has been up to?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then I need to go back to sleep for a few thousand years, lad. These people are focking crazy!”

  “And I think you know where your destiny lies.” Merrick was serious now, all the teasing warmth gone from his voice.

  “You are serious, lad?” Cailte asked, all pretense dropping as he stared at his small friend. “You have discovered what fate has willed for me?”

  “He needs you, Cailte.” Merrick sighed. “Have you not figured out why you are here?”

  There was no denying it. It had to be Ario. From the moment he awoke and discovered the exotic man’s hands upon his body, he’d felt a pull toward him unlike any pull he had ever felt before. But his little Ario was in so much pain…

  “He has been sorely used,” he admitted to the pixy.

  “And yet he remains rather attractive? Not appearances,” Merrick was quick to point out, “but his spirit, his soul. Is it not beautiful despite the bindings placed upon it?”

  “He reminds me of your people,” Cailte said. “He is pretty enough to be a lass! Kind of like you, Merrick, m’boy.”

  “And is that not like the pot calling the kettle black?” The pixy arched one eyebrow at Cailte.

  “Don’t ken what ya mean, lad.” Cailte took a defiant, masculine pose with the hammer in his hands and his arms crossed over his bare chest.

  “If you lose that damn morning beard growth, between the two of us, just who do you think would get mistaken for a girl?”

  “Cheeky bugger.”

  “You’ll see how cheeky I am --”

  Merrick stuttered to a halt as Cailte raised his hand, listening to the altercation going on inside the house. Before Merrick could question him, Cailte was on his feet, the animals scattering as he ran toward the door.

  “Ario,” Merrick gasped, taking off after his charge.

  Chapter Seven

  “What do you mean they are coming here?”

  “Just what I said.” Ario’s cousin Tama sounded frantic on the phone. “Grandfather said that if you will not come home and do your duty, he will make you. He is serious, Ario.”

  “He would not dare!” Ario’s eyes narrowed in anger, and his fingers tightened on the headset of his phone.

  “You know that the old man lords over his kingdom like a monarch of old, Ario. He has a lot of people who owe him favors, and they are willing to do anything so as to not incur the wrath of the old Komiko.”

  “But I was publicly cast out, disowned!”

  “And Grandfather thinks to collar the dog that got away and retrain him, Ario. You will still be an outcast, but you will be a trained bitch, meek and useful, by the time he is done with you.”

  “I will never return there.”

  “You will have no choice, Ario. You have got to get out of there now!”

 
“Why?” Ario demanded suddenly. “Why should I trust you, Tama? My exile and flight for my life is your entire fault. So why are you warning me? Why now, especially since I refuse to help you?”

  There was silence on the other end of the phone and, for a moment, Ario thought Tama had hung up on him. Then his voice returned, halting and angry. “Do you think I want you to return? Do you really think that I want the bastard who has the blood that should have been mine underfoot?”

  Now Ario began to believe. The nice act was not Tama at all. The selfish monster never did anything out of the kindness of his heart.

  “The old man made me grovel to you, made me beg you. In reality, Ario, I could care less if you died. But the fact remains that I do not want you here.”

  “And believe me, Tama, I do not want to return.”

  “Then run, Ario-chan.” Tama’s tones and use of the appellation was mocking to say the least. “Run away, Ario-chan, run again and don’t look back. You are not needed or wanted here.”

  “And the ladies for whom you can’t perform?” It was mocking, he knew, but Ario could not help himself in this instance.

  “Why, they will be dismayed and angered to know that the curse is because Grandfather invented the tale that led to your banishment out of jealousy and spite toward his eldest daughter’s bastard child. They will commiserate with me and do what they can to remove the blight that his actions have brought upon our honorable house.”

  “They are going to kill him,” Ario pointed out. “And they are going to pepper the land with his blood.”

  “And you care because?” Tama let the question dangle.

  “This is a lie worse than your first, and if they kill him, his death will be on your hands.”

  “My hands are already stained.” Tama chuckled. “What are a few more splashes of red?”

  “And the blood inherent in our line will die with him.”

  Silence.

  “You are ending the Komikos of our line, because you will never be able to grow hard to please man, woman, nor beast, Tama. And when they find out --”