BLURRED LINE

by Justice, A. D.

  At the end of the evening, everything I’d hoped to find here eluded me. We leave empty-handed. I don’t even have the heart to talk about it on the ride home.

  “We’ll keep looking, Kira. This isn’t the end.”

  No? Then why do I feel like I just ran headlong into a brick wall on a dead-end street?

  Chapter 9

  Silas

  “You know it’ll send up a huge red flag if I don’t make that dead drop in the morning. My handler has already called to check in, and I confirmed I’d be there. That means I told her I accomplished my mission of getting into the senator’s office.” Kira slides into the seat beside me at the kitchen table.

  In the last couple of evenings since we attended the wedding, Mira and Brad have been coming over to help. It seems the extra company and time spent together has made Kira more relaxed around me. The personality underneath her guarded persona is finally emerging, and even Nick is smiling and talking to her more now. Maybe Nick gleaned more insight into her character the night they went back to her old house to pack her clothes and toiletries.

  For Kira to come to me with this request must mean she’s starting to trust me.

  Part of me wishes the feeling were mutual, because the more I’m around her, the more I like her. But Chuck’s “Russian roulette” comment is stuck in my mind. My concern isn’t only with Kira, but with who else she works with on the other side.

  “And how do you suggest we manage that? They’ll be on the lookout for anyone out of place. I’m sure they’re trained to spot tails the same as I am, and there’s no way in hell you’re going alone.”

  When I lean back in my chair and look in her eyes, I plainly see the regret shining in them. While I feel for her predicament, and I honestly do, I won’t make the mistake of giving her a chance to double-cross me. There’s too much at stake, just as Chuck so eloquently alluded to in front of her. It was one thing when I personally escorted her to a wedding at the senator’s house, but it’s quite another to send her out to a dead drop site alone. She’s not as adept at this spy business as I am. She’s not as cunning and ruthless as she likes to think she is.

  But that may be her MO while her every move is being watched.

  “I can do it for her.” Mira sits in the chair beside Kira and holds her hand.

  “No fucking way!” Kira, Brad, Nick, Roman, and I all answer at the same time, with the exact same words.

  “Tough room.” Mira laughs off our reaction. She’s used to us now after all the time she has spent around us while living with Nick’s family.

  “You’ve been out of the game for the last year and a half, love. If you put yourself back in it now, even to help your sister, you’re risking your freedom. You never know if the drop site is being watched by another agency—or other Russian operatives.” Brad could never be a spy—he not only wears his emotions on his sleeve, but his facial expressions give away his every thought.

  “He’s right, Mira. We won’t risk your safety. Kira, why don’t you and I head out to your drop site tonight and leave it ahead of the scheduled time? Nick can take your sister back home, where you know she’s well cared for and very safe.”

  “All right. You and I will go late tonight, Silas. You can stand guard from behind cover in case anyone else is watching. If I get caught, at least you’ll still be in the clear.”

  “Just be careful out there, sis.” The two sisters look at each other, hesitant to leave the other’s side again. “I want you to know I really am happy now, and you will be too very soon. Savannah is like a sister to me, and Nick is the big brother we never had. When this is over, and Silas finds a way to keep you off that airplane, they’ll be your family too. That’s just who they are.”

  Mira’s eyes cut over to me as she hugs her sister goodbye. “Very subtle message, Mira. No one else caught on to that secret spy message you just sent me at all.”

  “Hey, this is like ‘Spy vs. Spy,’ in real life, isn’t it?” Brad asks, his face beaming with pride over his corny joke.

  “Yes, we’re exactly like that.” I can’t help but laugh and be grateful for Brad’s ability to defuse the tension of the situation with such a simple notion. Within seconds, even Nick, with his serious nature can’t hold back, and now we’re all laughing together.

  After everyone leaves, Kira and I sit down at the table and hash out the plan for later tonight. “Where are you supposed to leave the flash drive?”

  “Taped under a bench in the pavilion at Armistead Boothe Park on Cameron Station Boulevard.”

  “Okay, that’s not too far from here. We can go late tonight and be back here in no time.”

  I pull up the map of the park and surrounding area online, so we can walk through our every step before arriving. Before walking into any potential trap, I want to know every possible entry and exit point, the best spot for observing the vicinity, and where we’re most likely to encounter trouble.

  “I think I’ll go try to get some rest before we head out tonight. Do you need any other information from me before I do?” Kira pushes back from the table and stands with her hands clasped together, uncertainty emanating from her entire being.

  “No, I think I’m good for now. Thanks.”

  “Silas?” She stops in the hall before she makes it through the doorway.

  “Yeah?”

  “I know none of this has been easy for you. I understand the predicament I’ve put you in—working with me, protecting my sister, and protecting your country. For what it’s worth, I am sorry about that, but I do appreciate everything you’re doing. You don’t trust me, and I don’t blame you. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t trust me either. But you can believe I’d never do anything to hurt Mira, and going rogue now would only expose her. That’s one thing I would never do—no matter what the consequences to me may be.”

  Part of me wants to believe she’s being sincere. A small part of me may even put some stock in what she’s saying. But the undercover officer inside warns me against it. He reminds me that self-preservation makes people do things they would never consider doing otherwise. Detestable acts that they later regret, but in that split second of decision, they value their own lives over everyone else’s.

  Including a dearly loved sister.

  I’ve seen the aftermath of family members turning on other family members to save their own skin. It happens more than I’d prefer to think about, and that’s precisely why I have to fight the urge to believe she wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize Mira or this mission. No matter how much I’d enjoy the luxury of thinking she’s actually on my side in this.

  That’s why I haven’t broken my vow and told her about the discrepancies I found in the senator’s files. It’s why I review the rest of the flash drive contents when she is asleep at night, or for that solid hour locked inside my room while she was busy dressing for the wedding. And why I haven’t explained to her all the reasons behind my reassuring her our investigation isn’t over. She believes it is because we didn’t find anything during our search of his home office—and she’s mentally preparing herself to be forcibly removed from the country.

  “Thank you for saying that. I appreciate it, Kira. But I really hope your loyalty to your sister is never put to the test.”

  We remain motionless, staring at each other for several heartbeats. The connection I’ve felt with her is real—it’s like a tether holding me in place near her now. I’ve had more than a year to watch her from a distance, get to know her intimately without ever saying a word to her, and analyze her every expression, gesture, and mannerism. While I followed her, I memorized everything about her. Not quite at the stalker level, but thorough enough to be effective at my job. But sharing this space with her now, knowing everything I know about her, makes me question how much of my observation was for the job and how much was for me.

  The hopeful expression she wore when she pledged her allegiance to me falls as she realizes my trust issues with her run deeper than a few words can bridg
e. She slowly nods, and a small, sad smile makes a brief appearance. “Our handlers tested our bond every single day since we were first torn from our mother’s arms and thrust into this life. My loyalty to her has never faltered in twenty years, and I’m not about to break my longstanding record now. Good night, Silas.”

  “Good night, Kira.”

  After changing into my black cargo pants and sweatshirt, I return to the den and settle on the couch to comb through all the information I’ve gathered so far. One more time, as I always do. I’m deep in thought, trying to fit two puzzle pieces together that don’t want to match when I hear the bedroom door open. I glance down at my watch and realize it’s only been forty-five minutes since she left me to nap before our late-night rendezvous in the park.

  “Couldn’t sleep?”

  “No. And there’s no use in trying now.”

  She sits at the other end of the couch and turns her body to face me, bending one leg with her foot underneath her. She’s wearing a pale pink tank top and matching shorts. Her long black hair is pulled to the side, hanging over one shoulder, and she’s twirling a strand between her fingers. Seeing her like this, out of her natural element, makes her seem so vulnerable and lost. At the party when I first met her, she was working the scene and identifying her next mark. She was focused on the end goal and confident in her abilities.

  In the days since that first meeting, I’ve fought against the recurring thoughts that she’s not the villain I’ve painted her to be in my mind.

  She knows how to get the job done, that’s for sure, but the purpose that drives her to do it isn’t anywhere in the same hemisphere as mine. My means and methods may cross lines at times, pushing the regulations and breaking a few rules now and then, but my objective never changes. Service to my country is first and foremost. Period.

  Watching her silently fight her fears now, I see her in a different light. Even though we’re different, I think I’m starting to unwrap that enigma and understand why she’s so hard to read.

  First and foremost, she’s an actress.

  Plain and simple.

  In order to survive in this clandestine lifestyle from such an early age, the only way she could keep herself together and focus on one mission at a time, she had to pretend she knew what she was doing and what she wanted out of it. That’s the only way she knows how to do this spy thing—it’s all an imaginary world, and she’s just a player acting out her role on an extremely treacherous stage.

  “Care for some free professional advice?”

  She stills and raises her gaze to meet mine. “Absolutely.” That’s a lie in the purest sense of the word, though I’m not convinced she even realizes she’s lying. She’s still acting, and that answer is the one she thinks she’s supposed to give in this circumstance.

  “One, if you actually want to be an undercover officer, your heart has to be in it. You have to fight for what you believe in, not what you’ve been told you believe in. Two, acting the part will only get you so far. You actually have to become the person you’re pretending to be. You have to know her inside and out—how she would react in different situations, how she would handle problems, her entire personality profile—it all has to be ingrained in you. And three, your heart isn’t in this, you don’t know what you believe in, and you don’t know who you are.”

  “Are you saying I’m not good at my job, Silas?” She arches one eyebrow, daring me to give the wrong answer to her loaded question.

  “No, that’s not what I’m saying. But I am saying this isn’t the life you want, the career you chose, or what you feel is your true calling in life. And to those of us who live and breathe this work, it shows. You’ve dealt with everyday civilians up until now, haven’t you? You haven’t been on any counterintelligence missions, have you? Haven’t dealt with any battle-hardened soldiers?”

  “Yes, all of that is true. My assignments have revolved around getting information out of ordinary people. Executive assistants with loose tongues. Senate staffers with loose zippers. No one who has already been taught the trade, though.”

  “The man you singled out and almost approached at the fundraiser where we met? He would’ve read you like a children’s book, and we never would’ve found your body when he was finished with you. Could you not sense that from his carriage and demeanor?”

  “I sensed he had connections and could get me into the secure areas. He was right there with several other senators and high-level officials. That’s exactly the type of person I needed to complete my job.”

  “No, love. He wasn’t there with them. They were with him. There’s a difference. When a man walks into a room and everyone flocks to his side, that man is the one with all the power. Not the followers. He was the center of attention—and they were all vying for five minutes with him. Not the other way around.”

  “Why are you telling me this? Are you trying to help me to be a better spy against America?” She folds her arms over her chest and tips her head to the side. She’s clearly annoyed with me.

  “Not at all.” I can’t help but chuckle. “I’m trying to save you. You’re in deep water, way over your head, and you’re very close to going under for good. Get out of this business and find something else to do with your life. I would hate to get the news that the wrong person figured out who you really are.”

  “Thanks for the pep talk. Maybe we should head out to the park now and get this over with before I have time to say the wrong thing to the wrong person and end up dead. It’ll be incredibly obvious if I’m killed and you put the flash drive on the wrong bench in my absence.”

  The smile covering my face as she walks away is genuine. Her false bravado aside, that smartass retort just ratcheted up my respect for her. “Don’t worry, love. I’ll protect you.”

  Without a moment’s hesitation, she holds up her middle finger, extending her arm as far toward me as it’ll reach, just before she disappears into her bedroom. That makes me lean my head back on the couch and release a deep belly laugh. If nothing else, at least the time I have left with Kira will most definitely be entertaining.

  * * *

  When we reach the area in Alexandria, I pull into a space in the Home Depot parking lot and turn off the truck. A few third shift employees are working, so my vehicle doesn’t seem out of place. The park is a couple of blocks from the back side of the building, but we’re not taking any chances of being spotted driving around and casing the vicinity.

  “We’re on foot from here. Stay close to me, Kira, and stay on your guard. We’re going out on a limb doing this with no prior reconnaissance and no idea if your coworkers are out here watching, especially the night before a scheduled drop.”

  Outside the truck, we hold hands as we walk toward the park. We look like any other normal couple out for an extremely late-night stroll. The windows of most of the houses and apartments along the tree-lined street are dark, their inhabitants sound asleep. A small sedan pulls into one of the parallel parking spots, horribly missing the mark. Four young ladies tumble out of a car as we pass by, dressed to the nines after a night out and all walking on wobbly legs and spiky heels. I wrap my arm around Kira’s shoulders and pull her face into mine as we pass them, giving the illusion that we’re lovers and can’t keep our lips off each other. Not that they’d recognize our faces through their beer goggles, but we can’t be too careful. I’ve acted shit-faced drunk many times before when it gave me a marked advantage over my target.

  Whistles and catcalls follow us as the girls cheer us on. “Girlfriend! Take that fine specimen of a man home and rock his world!”

  “If you don’t want him, send him back here! I’ll take him!”

  Kira rises to the challenge when she stops me, lifts up on her toes, and plants her lips on mine. Her hand glides along my cheek as her soft tongue slides against my lips. Before her actions even register on my shocked brain, my arms wrap around her waist, my lips part, and my tongue slides along hers. Just like that, the sparks I’ve heard about so ma
ny times but never experienced ignite all at once behind my eyes. In a split second, I take control of the kiss she initiated and deepen it. With intentional steps, I back her against a tree and lean into her.

  She wraps her arms around my neck and runs her fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck. Her nails trail against my skin with the lightest of scrapes, but the sensation is enough to set my blood boiling. Her breasts push against me, and I feel the rapid rise and fall of her chest from her labored breathing. I brush my fingers along her neck then up to her chin, holding it lightly when I end the kiss and pull back only far enough to look directly into her eyes.

  What I’d give to read her mind right now.

  Alexandria just experienced a heat wave in the dead of winter.

  “Fuck, that’s so hot! Now I have to go watch porn and check the batteries in Bob.” The girl’s words are slurred, but it seems her vision is perfectly fine.

  “Who the hell is Bob?” One of the other girls asks, laughing hysterically in her drunken state.

  “My battery-operated boyfriend, Sheila. You should already know that—you have one too.”

  “Oh yeah. Fuck, we need a man to kiss us like that. I think my panties just melted right off me.”

  All four ladies completely lose their composure, leaning on each other while fighting the fits of laughter overtaking them. The harder they try to stop laughing, the worse it makes their situation. While they’re too busy paying attention to each other, Kira and I take the opportunity to disappear around the corner before they compose themselves.

  We walk in silence around the perimeter of pavilion area of the park, sticking to the shadows and invisible spots, stopping and listening for any sounds that indicate we’re not alone. After several passes around the immediate area and almost an hour of watching and waiting, I’m finally convinced enough that we’re alone. I motion for Kira to make her way to the bench then I draw my pistol to cover her, keeping my vantage point in the dark.