Princess BMX

by Marie Basting

  ‘It is jolly exciting,’ Bertie said. ‘Though I wish my nightshirt would stop blowing up.’

  Skimming the edge of the forest, we followed the curve of the ravine. The cornfields on our right, to our left the thick canopy of the Black Forest. I leant to the side, searching for a gap between the trees, desperate to catch a glimpse of the knights. Where were they? Even on foot they should have made it through by now.

  ‘There, Alun.’ Bertie pointed to the gleaming Limonadi River. ‘Can you see it? I told you it wasn’t far.’

  Alun snorted and began his descent. In the distance I caught sight of the Doughnut Hills and the lush green plains that now lined the north-eastern side of the ravine. The Limonadi River meandered below, cutting the plains in two, the magnificent golden boulders along its western bank glimmering in the sun like giant polished cannonballs.

  ‘Fool’s gold,’ said Bertie. ‘An ill omen, indeed.’ Alun landed in the grass just beyond the second river crossing. It was the kind of grass that tasted milky when you chewed it and made you want to take your shoes off. But I don’t think that was why Alun didn’t want to go beyond it. In fact, I’m certain of it. But I had no choice but to make my way towards the river. I had to find Jeb. I pushed away the doubt and slid down Alun’s back.

  ‘Thank you, Alun,’ I said, tipping Doreen out of my rucksack. ‘Ethan, untie the bikes. I’ll go ahead and make sure it’s safe.’

  Electricity crackled in the air and a fork of purple lightning split the sky in two. In the distance I heard a frightened bark. Jeb! Ignoring Alun’s high-pitched warning, I ran towards my puppy.

  It hit me first in the shoulder. Then the chest. The second lightning bolt so powerful I flew into the air and landed on my back near the edge of the riverbank. What had just happened? It was like being struck with a supercharged lance. I rolled over on to my knees and pushed myself up. The lance struck again. This was it! The ride was over for Ava.

  Laughter, tinkling like unicorn bells.

  Pain in my head so bad I thought my brain was going to explode.

  And then a voice – strong and firm – you’ll never win, Avariella . . .

  Followed by a final blow that sent me stumbling backwards into the river.

  Gasping at the shock of the icy water, I kicked my legs like a cane toad with a sugar rush, trying to stay afloat. But there was something pulling me down.

  ‘Help,’ I shouted, forcing my head back above the surface and spitting out a mouth full of sweet fizzy water. ‘Ethan, Bertie – please!’

  The pull grew stronger.

  Too strong to fight.

  The darkness swallowed me.

  I lifted my arms above my head, hands cupped, scooping the churning water as fast as I could. But it was no use – I couldn’t break through the surface. The river surged and I was spinning. Slowly at first, gradually picking up speed until I was whirling faster than a whipping top. Rocketing towards the riverbed, I let out a silent scream. No river could be this deep – it had to be enchanted.

  The spinning stopped. The water was warm now. I felt calm, sleepy. Maybe I was dreaming because I was somehow floating above my body. I stared down at my white waxy face, an air bubble rising from my nostril. Memories flashed before me, flickering like the old television set in Kaye’s café: cuddling up with Aunt Maude reading stories; my seventh birthday party when Mum got annoyed because I threw up in the chocolate fountain; sliding down the stairs in a potato sack with Bertie timing me . . .

  Bertie! He might be a dweeb but he was my brother. What if the lance was now turned on him and Ethan? I had to make sure they were OK.

  Light shone above and everything went fuzzy. I felt a pull like I was being snatched upwards by a giant magnet, and somehow I was back inside my body. Fingers pointed, I lifted my arms above my head and swam, dragging myself up through the water. I had to get to Bertie.

  The quicker I swam, the less dreamy I felt. There was a burning energy inside me as though the lightning bolt had supercharged my muscles. My arms cut through the water so fast my legs could just keep up. Sunlight shone above, sending dappled beams towards me. The surface rippled and my hands broke through. Gasping for air, I dragged myself on to the riverbank, snorting snot and water. Chest burning, I coughed up shedloads more water and rolled over on to my back. I shut my eyes and tried to slow my breathing. I just needed a minute to rest. Then I’d find Bertie and Ethan.

  ‘Oh, Ava . . .’

  I felt a prod in my neck. I tilted my head and prised open my eyes. Gucci boots! I sat up, water dripping from my hair on to the shiny leather.

  ‘Ava, Ava, Ava.’ Odette took a hanky out of her pocket and wiped the toe of her boot. ‘I told you our cycle paths would cross again. How have you enjoyed my little challenges? I have to say, I’m most impressed with your resilience. Bravo.’

  I clambered to my feet. ‘What have you done with Bertie and Ethan?’

  My EVIL auntie nodded downstream to where the river dropped into a gentle waterfall surrounded by rock pools. Ethan and Bertie were sitting with their feet in the biggest pool, Ethan’s jeans soaked up to his knees, the BMXs on the floor next to him. There was a giant bubble around them, it shimmered in the sunshine. My heart leapt like an Apollonian mountain frog. Jeb was in the bubble too, splashing around in one of the pools.

  ‘Jeb!’

  ‘He can’t hear you. They’re in their own little rock-pool world, hunting for unicorn fish. Idiots!’

  Talking of unicorns, where was Doreen? I couldn’t see her anywhere. Alun had disappeared too, which wasn’t that much of a surprise given he’d refused to come anywhere near the riverbank.

  ‘Fancy bringing your little boyfriend along.’ Odette laughed. ‘Daddy would not be happy with you fraternizing with the peasants.’

  ‘He’s not my boyfriend! Why does everyone keep calling him my boyfriend?’

  ‘No matter. He has to die. Your brother too. I refuse to have three children trailing along with me. I know big families are fashionable in the Home Counties, but it’s just not my designer bag!’

  Iedged backwards, the Limonadi River burbling behind me. So that was Odette’s plan – for me and her to go off and play happy families? Unlikely. And what was with the killing everyone? Like no need! It was clear, my auntie wasn’t just EVIL. She was SUPER-EVIL.

  ‘You are kidding, right? You can’t just go around killing children because they don’t fit with your plans.’ I glanced back over to the rock-pool bubble. ‘And no way am I coming with you, whatever you have in mind.’

  Odette’s perfect smile faded for a second, but only a second. ‘Never mind, I know it’s a big change for you having a new mummy. That’s why I brought your little doggy along. I hope he gets on with Elvis. I’m afraid poor ’Vis is in the doggy hospital at the moment. Had a bit of a run-in with a stiletto heel.’ She jabbed me in the chest, a spark of electricity firing from her red painted nail, and chuckled to herself. ‘Still, who needs two eyes anyway?’

  I took another step back, careful not to edge too close to the water.

  ‘Oh, sorry, darling. Was that a bit sharp? It’s just I’m so excited. Finally, we can be together. You must have felt it, Ava. It’s you I wanted all along.’

  Maybe I should swim for it? I was excellent at holding my breath – I practised in the bath all the time. But even if I could escape Odette, what would she do to Ethan and Bertie?

  ‘I only took your brother to test you,’ she continued. ‘To see whether it was worth investing. Well, I’m delighted to inform you, you’ve passed. Tut, tut, disobeying Daddy like that.’

  Odette wagged her finger just like Dad. It was the scariest thing I’d seen all day.

  ‘And so brave and intuitive. The sprites predicted you’d fail at the boggarts, or they’d at least see a little gore at the ravine. But I never doubted you. I know what runs through your veins.’

  I stood up straight, head held high. I was feeling stronger now. Hands on hips, I squared up to Odette. She seemed to
enjoy this, standing so close I could see the pulse in her neck. Bertie was right – she really did have onion breath. ‘Well, let my brother go then!’ I said. ‘He’s served his purpose.’

  Odette clapped her hands together. ‘That’s my girl. Such spirit! But you’ll have to try harder than that to convince me. I have a reputation to build. One can’t terrify the people without doing terrifying things.’

  She clicked her fingers and Bertie jumped up from his rock-pool seat, the bubble evaporating instantly. His eyes fixed on Odette, he walked towards us. Ethan stayed where he was, staring into the rock pool with Jeb.

  ‘The charms hit them a little stronger than I intended, what with them being from the Other World and all. Your boyfriend will come round soon enough. Right in time for you to help me annihilate him.’

  ‘Oh my curly candy, you’re as mad as a box of cauldron frogs.’

  ‘Now, darling, please stop. There really is no point fighting it. Us baddies have to stick together. I have great plans for us. I’m thinking we start with taking over Biscotti, go get our nails done and then move on to the Other World.’

  I shivered. The first sun was going down, casting a pink haze over the river. My wet clothes clung to me. Odette offered me her cashmere cape. I gave her my best dirty look.

  ‘Well, maybe we’ll leave the Other World domination for now,’ she laughed. ‘And concentrate on Biscotti. I have my developers working on the blueprints as we speak. Imagine it, Ava, the biggest theme park ever. It’s inspired –real-life Disney Kingdom meets the Tower of London. The Other World folk are just mad for magic and unicorns. Throw in the odd dragon and a few old relics and they’ll be lining up to visit. It will annoy your dad so much. Especially when he finds out he’s one of the exhibits.’

  ‘You wouldn’t.’

  How could she even think of doing such a thing? Beautiful, magical Biscotti turned into a zoo for the Other World folk and Dad one of the main attractions? No! The Kingdom would be changed for ever, and not in a good way. In time, the magic of Biscotti would surely die, just like it had died in the Other World.

  ‘I most certainly would. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t be happier rid of your father and all his rules. We’re not like the rest of the family – blooming goody-goodies – we’re free spirits. That’s why my brother hates us so.’

  ‘Hates me?’ I felt like someone was sitting on my chest. Dad didn’t hate me, did he? Sometimes, when he sighed at my games or had a go at me for nothing, it felt like he did. I mean, he never shouted at Bertie – not like he shouted at me.

  I stared at my brother, who had made his way over from the rock pool. It was hard to tell what he was thinking with those black triangle eyes, but the fact he wouldn’t look at me made my tummy churn.

  Odette did a fake yawn. ‘All that silly business about what a princess is and isn’t expected to do! It’s just so tiring.’

  I got a horrible taste in my mouth. How many times had I thought that?

  ‘Girls like you and me – modern girls – we know what we want and we get it. And I want my kingdom back! I’m the rightful heir.’

  Odette’s hair crackled with electricity. She fired a lightning bolt into the pink haze. I swallowed back the gobstopper-sized lump in my throat. But I was more frightened by her words than her sorcery. Seriously, I was going to puke. What she’d said, well, it was all kind of true . . .

  Except Odette had given away her right to the kingdom when she turned EVIL!

  ‘Just think what we could achieve together,’ she said, bouncing on the balls of her feet. ‘You and me best friends for ever, just like things were with Aunt Maude before I fried her brain.’

  What! A bead of sweat trickled down my forehead. So that was the something nobody ever talked about. How could anyone hurt Maude?

  ‘We’re the same, you and me, Ava. The same.’

  ‘Bertie?’

  My skin prickled. He was backing away, holding his hand over his jaggered pumpkin mouth. I had to put a stop to Odette’s silly games right now. I might not be the perfect princess, but I was not the same as my EVIL auntie.

  ‘No.’ I was surprised by how calm I sounded because my heart was beating against my ribs like a caged pixie. ‘I’m nothing like you. You’re EVIL and I hate you!’

  The sky grew dark and Odette’s hair went all weird and floaty, her eyes perfect black circles as she stared into nothing. Bertie whimpered. I needed to do something fast. Think, Ava, think.

  I thought about it for as long as I could, which given I was about to be annihilated by my EVIL auntie was like a nanosecond. But that was OK. Because what was there to think about? I mean, there’s only one thing you can do when your EVIL auntie wants to kill you.

  ‘Leg it!’

  Wow! My EVIL auntie really was laying it on with the Black Sorceress thing. She had her eyes closed, her arms pointing upwards in a V-shape, and was humming like a motorbike. Fear bubbled in my stomach. You didn’t need to be a detective to work out she was leading up to something big.

  I grabbed Bertie’s arm. ‘Come on, run!

  ’ Odette’s eyes flickered open. Oops, I didn’t mean to shout. She cracked her knuckles and pointed her finger at me. ‘Have it your way then.’

  I ducked, only narrowly avoiding the purple lightning bolt, which hit the river and bounced across the surface of the water.

  ‘Bertie, get out of here, now!’

  Odette yawned. Rolling her shoulders, she reached up, her fingers spread. The air crackled with electricity, a fork of lightning splitting the sky in two. I covered my eyes to protect them from the glare of Odette’s ring. Oh my giddy goblin, she was harvesting the lightning.

  ‘Go, Bertie!’

  There was no way I could fight her but maybe I could distract my EVIL auntie while the others escaped. Hide in the boulders perhaps—

  From behind the giant rocks shot a white shape – Doreen must have had the hide-in-the-boulders idea earlier! She flew into the air like a cannonball and butted Odette in the stomach. Mouth open, my EVIL auntie tottered backwards and landed on her bum, Doreen landing on top of her, kicking and gnashing her teeth. Way to go, Do-Do!

  ‘Get this stinking thing off me,’ Odette screamed. ‘Do you have any idea how much these trousers cost?’ She picked Doreen up and chucked her sideways.

  Doreen bleated like she’d never bleated before, and charged at Odette again. It was time to get Bertie to safety. What did he think he was doing, just standing there by the rock pools with his great big pumpkin head? And where was Ethan? His bike had gone – surely he wouldn’t have just abandoned us? I legged it over to Bertie and picked up my BMX.

  ‘Quick, sit on the handlebars.’

  ‘I will not. How undignified.’

  ‘Just do it—’

  I put my hands to my ears – the scream would have curdled blood.

  ‘No!’

  Doreen was hovering in the air, level with Odette’s head, a luminous purple light surrounding her like an all-body halo. She stared right at me, her eyes round and wild. Screaming again, she tensed – and turned to stone, one of her legs snapping off as she thudded to the ground.

  I wanted to crumple to the floor too – my poor Do-Do – but I had to stay strong for Bertie. He had turned whiter than a newborn unicorn.

  ‘Games over.’ Odette kicked Doreen’s broken-off leg out of the way and clicked her fingers. A diamond-encrusted broomstick flew towards her. ‘It’s time to get radical, as I believe you BMXers like to say.’

  Quivering, Bertie picked up Jeb who was covering his eyes with his paws and stuck him inside the top of his nightshirt. He tried to climb on to my handlebars, but agility was never one of Bertie’s strong points and the EVIL sorceress hovering above our heads was a bit of a distraction.

  ‘It really didn’t have to be like this, Avariella.’ Odette made a grab for Bertie.

  I reached for his nightshirt, but I was too late. She already had him. She waved him above me, her long thin fingers wrapped aroun
d his wrist. I was scared to look up – he never did say if he had underpants on.

  ‘You are bold, my darling, but foolish.’

  I stretched upwards towards Bertie. Poor Jeb was holding on to the collar of my brother’s nightshirt with his teeth.

  ‘Do something, Ava!’ Bertie shouted.

  ‘Shut it, tubby. I’m talking to your sister.’ Bertie cried out as Odette dug her nails into his wrist. ‘I’m prepared to give her another chance. After all, it seems such a shame to waste one so spirited.’

  I reached up again. This time my fingers scraped the sole of Bertie’s shoe. Close, but not close enough.

  ‘Oh, just quit with the evil and let my brother go!’

  Odette’s laughter tinkled across the vast silent meadow. ‘Fine. Have it your way.’ She let go of Bertie’s wrist and he thudded to the ground.

  I felt sick. ‘No!’ I shouted. ‘Nooooo!’

  ‘I mean business, Ava. There’s no room for compassion when you’re running an evil empire. You’ll see that. Even if I have to teach you the hard way.’

  Odette pointed her finger at me, sparks flying from her nail. I prepared myself for the electric lance. But it was Odette who wailed in pain. Like, what? Jeb was hanging from her nose, his jaw clamped tight around it. He swung from side to side, growling, trying to avoid her nails as she jabbed at him with one hand and attempted to control the broomstick with the other.

  I legged it to Bertie. ‘Are you OK?’

  Bertie groaned – he gave me the thumbs up and wrapped his arms around his ribs. He seemed OK, and right now I had to concentrate on Odette. Jeb would only be able to distract her for so long. And what then?

  A surge of electricity shot up my leg. I touched my sock where my bike pump was glowing. I had zero clue what was going on, but you didn’t need to work for Bikes-r-Us to know the blue glow meant this was no ordinary pump. No wonder the Godfather had gone on so much about keeping it safe. I looked up at Odette. Having an electric doodah thing was all very well, but what was I supposed to do with it?

  A low rumble travelled through the ground towards me and my nose tingled. Slowly I turned round. Alun was charging across the meadow with Ethan on his back. Ethan waved. He pointed to Alun, swooshing his arm upwards into the air like an aeroplane taking off.