Sex Symbol

by Laurelin Paige

  “Then why are you moping over her, dude?”

  Micah shut the laptop lid. It wasn’t like he was really looking at it anyway. “I’m not.”

  Fudge pulled a near-empty bag of Cheetos from the pantry. “You’re certainly moping over something and every time I say the name Maddie Bauers—”

  Micah winced.

  “—you wince. What’s that about?”

  Damn Fudge and his inquisition. He crossed his arms and leaned against the counter. “She wants me to be a silent partner.”

  “So?” He popped a Cheeto in his mouth and grimaced. “These are stale as crap.” He put another three in his mouth, crunching noisily.

  “They’re from before Colorado. I’ll put them on the list for the housekeeper. She won’t be here until Monday, though.”

  “That’s cool.” Fudge ate another Cheeto. “Anyway, I thought you were just helping Maddie out financially. Are you interested in contributing creatively?”

  Micah watched Fudge as he put yet another Cheeto in his mouth. “Why do you keep eating them if they’re bad?”

  Fudge shrugged. “Why aren’t you answering my question?”

  Micah took another swig of his water, noticing that his head felt the slightest bit better. Talking no longer seemed quite so unbearable. “I’m not interested in contributing creatively.” How could he explain how he felt about being sidelined on Maddie’s movie? “I just…I don’t know…I really enjoyed talking through the process with her. It made me remember why I loved this whole business in the first place because she’s still so fresh about it. She has a good eye, very creative. Super intelligent. And when she gets a new idea or hits a roadblock, she likes to bounce it off someone.” He paused, remembering. “She’ll get all fidgety and she starts pacing and talking with her hands. And her beautiful brown eyes get all big and bright.” He smiled. “By the time she’s finished telling it, she’s always worked it out herself, but it’s stimulating to be near her when…what?”

  Fudge was staring at Micah, his mouth gaping. “You’re in love with her.”

  “Whatever.” Micah crossed to the fridge and opened it, pretending to look for something to eat, even though he had zero appetite.

  Fudge slammed his hand on the counter. “You’re totally in love with her!” He chuckled. “Does she know?”

  “No,” Micah answered quickly. Too quickly. He backtracked. “There’s nothing to know. Just drop it.” He shut the refrigerator door.

  Fudge wasn’t dropping it. He followed Micah outside to the veranda. “Why the hell did you break things off with her?”

  “I have rules, remember?” God, the sun was bright. “No dating. No serious relationships.”

  “It’s your own stupid rule. You can break it.”

  “The rule exists for a reason. It’s not stupid.” Micah circled back into the house, out of the blinding sun, Fudge in tow. “It’s a proven fact that relationships in this town do not work.”

  “Then why were you seeing her in the first place?”

  He stopped walking and turned to face Fudge. “Exactly. No clue.”

  Fudge shook his head as if disgusted with Micah’s answer.

  So Micah amended his statement. “Because she made me think that maybe I was wrong. But I wasn’t.” Except he hadn’t known if he was wrong or not. He’d wanted to see what happened with her. He sighed. “I asked her if she wanted to keep seeing me on the down-low.” He wandered into the den and threw himself face down on the couch. “But she didn’t want that.”

  Fudge sat on the couch arm and threw the bag of Cheetos on the coffee table. “She didn’t want to see you anymore?” Surprise laced his voice.

  “I didn’t say that exactly,” Micah said into the couch pillow.

  “Hmm.” Fudge stood and crossed to where he could look at Micah directly. Then he walked toward the kitchen, but returned a second later, his arms crossed.

  Micah leaned himself up on one elbow. “Do you have something to say?”

  “Yes, I do.” Fudge took a deep breath. “You’re an asshole.”

  “What?”

  “You’re a selfish asshole.”

  Micah moved to a sitting position. “Selfish. That’s what she said.”

  “Because you are. Dude, you probably don’t know this since you’ve had, like, zero experience with any relationship that lasts longer than an hour, but when you love someone you do things in the best interest of you as a couple, not just you as a superstar. You can’t give up your playboy status to see where things go with Maddie?”

  Micah leaned forward. “I need more time without the press to see how things go.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “What do you fucking know about it?”

  “I’m always with you, Micah. I know all about it. I know all about you. You want more time to come up with another excuse about why it’s not going to work out. Because heaven forbid things did work out and you found out all your years of self-imposed solitude were a waste of your life.”

  Micah sat back into the couch and pulled the pillow into his lap. “Whatever. I’m not talking about this with you anymore.”

  Fudge’s eyes traveled to a spot behind where Micah sat. “Fine with me. You can discuss it with Lulu.”

  “I’m not discussing shit with Lulu.”

  “Micah?”

  Lulu’s voice behind him made Micah jump up, the pillow flying from his lap to the floor. “Mom!” Fuck. He looked and felt like shit and now he had to deal with his mother.

  Micah circled around the couch to hug Lulu. “You didn’t say you were stopping by. What are you doing here?”

  “Chris called me.”

  Micah turned to Fudge and delivered his best death glare. “I wonder why he would do that.”

  Lulu threw her purse down on a side table. “He was worried, and I can see why.”

  Christ. Lulu, too? “There’s no reason to be worried.” As he talked, Micah straightened the room, both because it was trashed and because he needed something to help him avoid his mother’s eyes. “I’m a little hung over, that’s all. You know how we celebrate when a shoot is over.”

  “Micah, I know it’s not the movie. You don’t have to pretend.”

  He bent over to pick up the pillow that had fallen off the couch. “What do you mean?” He was afraid to find out the answer.

  “I told her.” And Fudge’s tone said he didn’t regret it at all.

  Micah’s eyes flitted from Lulu to his bodyguard. “What exactly did you tell her?”

  Lulu’s face softened with compassion. “He told me everything, Micah. About Madalyn.”

  If Micah could kill Fudge with a simple stare, he was sure this was the stare that would do it.

  “I told her the truth! That you’re hung up on Maddie but you’re being an asswipe about it. Excuse my language, Lulu.”

  Lulu smiled reassuringly. “You’re fine, Chris. From what you told me, I think asswipe is more than appropriate.”

  Micah threw the pillow down onto the couch in complete frustration. “Why are you on his side? You didn’t even want me to stay here to work on her film.”

  “I didn’t know you were in love with her. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “What do you care about love?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “You left your marriage, Mom. You chose your career over love.”

  Lulu’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “No, I didn’t.”

  “Oh, really?”

  Lulu circled the couch and came to Micah’s side. “I chose to leave a bad marriage, Micah, and threw my energy instead into a career.”

  “Yeah, that’s not how Dad put it.”

  “Your father could never admit we had problems. He wanted to blame it all on my acting. But that wasn’t it at all.”

  Micah shook his head. This conversation made his eyes cross. He sat heavily on the couch. Why hadn’t he ever discussed this with his mother? All these years he’d just assumed. “But you
haven’t dated since you left dad. You’ve been totally focused on your career and then my career.”

  Lulu laughed as she sat next to Micah. “I have too dated. Just because I haven’t shared it with you doesn’t mean I didn’t do it.”

  Seriously. Micah’s whole concept of life was shattering before his eyes. His mom dated? Like, men? “Are you kidding me?”

  “Not at all. Actually—” Her face colored slightly as she looked down at her white linen pants. “Stu and I have been dating casually for the last several months.”

  No. Fucking. Way.

  Micah spun to look at Fudge. “Did you know about this?”

  Fudge shrugged.

  “Micah, honey.” Lulu put her hand on his knee. “Maybe I’ve been too single-minded about you and your career. And maybe I’ve lived vicariously through you and that put a lot of pressure on you. But all I really want is for you to be happy.”

  Micah swallowed. “I’m happy. I like where my life is at.”

  “That’s a total fucking lie.” Fudge sat on the chair across from the sofa. “Yeah, you’re at the top of your career. You demand top pay. You can pick and choose each project. You’ve been Golden Globe nominated, for Christ’s sake, but you’re still a miserable sack of shit. Have you considered that there might be more to life than money and making movies?”

  Micah frowned. He had considered it. A lot, lately. Truth was, the only upcoming project he felt completely excited about was Maddie’s, and frankly, her movie could have sucked and he’d still feel the same. He relished that he was a part of making her dream a reality. He wanted to be part of every aspect of it just to watch her delight, just to be near her.

  And if he was really being honest, he wanted to be part of every aspect of everything she did. He wanted to be her partner and her friend and her lover. Her everything.

  Fuck. Fudge was right. He was totally in love with Maddie, and he knew it. Why was he being such a prick about admitting it?

  Oh, yeah, that’s right. Because he didn’t believe that relationships in his world had any chance of surviving. But that idea had been largely based on his parents’ failed marriage. And now his mother was telling him that his whole concept of their divorce was a lie? He couldn’t even comprehend anything anymore.

  He glanced at Lulu beside him.

  “Micah, if this girl is what makes you happy, then you should be with her.”

  He ran his hand through his hair. “But we’ll be apart so much. And the paparazzi is not kind.”

  “But if you really love someone honey, those things don’t matter.” Lulu patted his leg once. “Who cares what the press says? Who cares what anyone says? They don’t know. And as for the distance and the schedules, you make compromises. You work together. As long as you keep communicating and sharing what’s going on in your head—and your heart—you can make anything happen.”

  She turned her head until she met Micah’s eyes. “It’s not any different than building a film career. You just choose to work on each other as much as you choose to work on your own stuff.”

  God, he was such a dick. And he couldn’t figure it out until his mother sat him down and told him the obvious. What was he, twelve?

  He ran his hand over his eyes, rubbing out the last bits of sleep crusties that still clung to his lashes. “Mom, I think I’ve fucked up pretty bad.”

  “Then un-fuck up.”

  He chuckled at his mother’s uncharacteristic swearing. “How? She won’t answer my calls. I agreed to not go to meetings about her movie.” Micah considered. “I could send her flowers.”

  Lulu shook her head with a frown.

  “Nah, that’s lame,” Fudge agreed. “Your last romantic gesture was a hot air balloon ride. You need to do something drastic to top that. You know what they say, ‘Go big or go home.’”

  Drastic. Micah’s brain started whirring, somewhat slowly due to his hung-over state. “Got any ideas?”

  Fudge shrugged, reaching for the Cheetos. “You’re Micah fucking Preston,” he said, popping one in his mouth. “I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

  Twenty-Nine

  “Jen’s dress is hideous.” Bree curled her leg under her, her eyes never leaving the flat screen TV on the wall.

  Maddie kicked her flip-flops off and stretched her own legs out on Bree’s couch. “She’s just lost too much weight.” Unlike Maddie who watched movie awards shows because she loved film, Bree watched to see what the stars were wearing.

  Maddie squinted at the television. “She’s almost as skinny as you now, Bree.”

  “Shut up.” Bree pretended she didn’t love to hear how thin she was.

  “She won best supporting actress, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  Maddie marked the box on her makeshift ballot. She had made predictions earlier in the day while she’d run on the treadmill at the gym. This one she’d gotten wrong. Usually she was pretty good at guessing, but her heart really wasn’t in it this year. The only actor that permeated her thoughts was Micah Preston. And he wasn’t up for any awards.

  “Oh my God, Christian looks h-o-t hot!”

  “Where?” Maddie looked toward the screen.

  “No, don’t look now. They just scanned over Micah. And he looks super hot too. Sorry.”

  Too late. Maddie had already seen him. He did look super hot. As always. Dammit, she had hoped moving on wouldn’t be as hard as it was turning out to be. Stupid, broken heart.

  “At least he looks like he didn’t bring a date. He’s sitting in between two guys.”

  This comforted Maddie. Unless the two guys were merely placeholders. Award shows did that, had paid models available to take the seat of anyone who left their seat for any reason. It made the theater look full. What if one of the guys sitting next to Micah was simply filling in for some hot blonde that had to pee? “Why do we have to watch the America’s Choice Awards again, Bree?”

  “Because if Beaumont wins Best Director, he’s going to immediately get a million phone calls and crap, and I have to be ready to handle them.”

  Ah, yes, I’m watching this stupid award show because of Beaumont. It figures. “It seems like you should be there then.”

  Bree didn’t detect the bitterness in Maddie’s voice. “It does seem that way. But no, I have to be here instead of dressed up all pretty surrounded by yummy, yummy hot stars.” Bree had her own bitterness. She squeezed Maddie’s leg. “I mean, I’d totally rather be here with you.”

  “Of course you would.”

  “Tell you what, when you get nominated for best director or screenwriter or cinematographer, I expect an invite.”

  “Deal,” Maddie said. And finally, for the first time in her life, she saw being nominated for an award as a possibility. She actually had a shot, now she that was being funded by Three Spot. Three Spot and Micah. How had Micah managed to make her biggest dreams a reality and then completely break her heart all in the same day?

  Nope. Stop. Don’t think about it tonight. Focus on why you’re here. Oh, yeah, Beaumont. Maddie groaned. “I’m sorry, Bree, but I’m seriously hoping Beaumont loses.”

  “Frankly, I am too.” If Beaumont won, the rest of Bree’s night would be spent working. “And must I remind you that you don’t have to be here?”

  Maddie sighed. “I didn’t want to be alone. I’d end up not only watching Micah, but rewinding his segment over and over.” She had done that with a million YouTube videos already that week. “And then I’d cry.” She’d done that too. “A lot. I’m tired of crying.”

  Bree wagged her finger at her friend. “No more crying. Your eyes are going to turn perma-puffy.”

  “Are my eyes puffy right now?” Maddie thought she had put on enough foundation to hide that.

  “Don’t think about it baby, you’re gorgeous.” Bree grabbed two Oreos out of the package on the coffee table. “You don’t have this set to DVR do you?”

  Maddie took a cookie from Bree. “No.” She took a bite. “Maybe.” />
  “Madalyn!”

  “I’ll only watch it if I’m desperate.” When she’d set the record option, she had told herself she was doing so in case she ended up leaving Bree’s early. She wouldn’t want to miss any of the big awards. Not that she couldn’t find any of that info on the Internet.

  Maddie leaned her head back against the armrest of the couch and swiveled toward the TV. The best supporting actor, announced while Maddie and Bree were talking, finished his acceptance speech and the voice-over came on. “Coming up after the break. Best Actor and Actress presented by last year’s winners Natalia Lowen and Micah Preston.”

  Bree gave Maddie a sideways glance. “You can close your eyes and plug your ears when he gets on screen.”

  “I can watch him.” She better be able to watch him. He was everywhere, after all. If she couldn’t make it through an award show, she’d never make it past the magazines in the checkout stand at the grocery store. Realizing that she knew exactly what he was doing at that moment, though, that made her heart extra lonely. “You better pass over the ice cream.” Yeah, good idea. Eat all the calories I burned off today at the gym.

  Bree passed over the container of Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Therapy. “Be careful, it’s kind of melty.”

  Maddie took the carton, a drop of chocolate oozing onto her white Jersey dress. “Uh, no kidding.” She pulled the fabric to her mouth and licked the spot off her dress, leaving a brown smudge in its place. “Good thing I’m not going anywhere.”

  Bree nodded toward the television. “He’s up.”

  Dishing up a giant spoonful of ice cream, Maddie turned her attention to the screen as the announcer’s voice boomed. “Presenting our next awards, last year’s Best Actor and Best Actress, Micah Preston and Natalia Lowen.”

  And there he was looking gorgeous, and more than a bit nervous, in his fitted black tux with a non-traditional black-button down shirt. Seeing him sent a stab to her chest while simultaneously causing her lower belly to clench. He looked so hot, she knew that later, when she was alone, she’d fantasize about taking him out of those clothes. Probably while she was in the shower so she could employ her showerhead nozzle to erase her pent-up horniness.