Healed

by Tess Thompson

  “I’m telling you this so you understand why I want to wait,” Pepper said. “With you, everything’s different. I want it to be different. I feel things for you I haven’t felt before. Things I can’t explain. A connection, I guess.” She raised her eyes to him. “Do you feel it too?” She laughed and sobbed at the same time. “Maybe I should’ve asked that first.”

  “Yes, yes. I feel it too. Isn’t it obvious?” His chest hurt with the surge of love that opened him, changed him, made him feel heroic. He was special to her. Him. Stone Hickman. How could this be? Only moments ago, the possibility of his affection being returned had seemed improbable. He’d hoped, of course. Oh, how he’d hoped. He had vowed many times over the last few days that he would do his best to win her heart. But he was an ordinary man. Not rich or slick or even handsome with his rugged face and calloused hands. Yet now, as Pepper’s exquisite gray eyes softened into a hazy blue, he understood that she believed in them, too. Something extraordinary was developing between them. A love worth fighting for? Believing in? “I learned a long time ago that the best things in life are worth waiting for. I’ll wait as long as you need me to.”

  “It won’t be forever.”

  “I’ll never pressure you. I promise.” He smiled. “But know this—I’m crazy about you. Nothing will change that.”

  She touched his face with her fingertips. “You’re not like any man I’ve ever met.”

  He kissed her, gently. “You’re one of a kind too, Pepper Shaker.”

  They were quiet for a moment, looking at the fire.

  “What about your dad?” he asked. “Did you see him again after that?”

  “No. His rejection was all mixed together with the other thing. I vowed never to see him again, and I haven’t.”

  “Do you miss him?” Stone had an image of Kyle in the months after their mother left standing at the window, watching and waiting for their mother’s return. Even years later, when they were teenagers, he caught Kyle standing there. Still waiting. When had he stopped looking and hoping?

  Her mouth twisted. “No, not anymore.” She jutted out her chin in that way he’d once interpreted as haughty but that he now knew was a defense mechanism, like a signal to her brain to remain tough and unmoved. “Obviously, I was a slow learner, but I’m a stubborn, hard thing when I decide something. That was it. He called a few more years after that to arrange my birthday lunch. Or, rather, his secretary called. I didn’t return the call. After a few years, he stopped calling.”

  The logs flickered and sputtered as the flames died down, as if telling them if it was time to retire. The room had cooled as well. “Let’s go upstairs and get ready for bed,” he said. “It’s getting cold.”

  She agreed. “We’ll have to do the dishes tomorrow when it’s light.”

  He laughed. “I’d forgotten about the dishes.”

  “And I’m the messy one?”

  “I did see the contents of your suitcase,” he said as he helped her to disentangle from the blanket.

  “Lisa and Maggie torture me about my messiness. I think people should accept me for how I am.”

  He rose to his feet and offered his hand. “I accept you as you are.”

  She kissed his cheek. “You’re a true gentleman.”

  Pepper carried both lanterns so he could take the borrowed toiletries and towels. They climbed the first set of stairs and then another to the loft.

  He couldn’t help but smile when they entered the loft space. It was a kid’s paradise. Four nooks with double beds were built into the slanted ceiling space at one end of the room. A pool table took up a large portion of the other end, along with a dartboard and shuffleboard. A plump L-shaped couch was arranged around a large-screen television. There was also a bar area with a bistro table and barstools.

  “Is this heaven?” Stone asked as he set his pile of toiletries on the table.

  Pepper handed him a lantern and turned in a full circle. “I’m just happy there’s a bathroom. I won’t have to go downstairs in the dark.”

  “Can you imagine how much fun it would have been to stay here as a kid?”

  Pepper’s eyes sparkled in the lantern light. “I’m imagining how fun it’s going to be right now.”

  “Right?” He noticed the beds were doubles built into nooks, giving whoever slept in them a sense of privacy. Perfect for a bunch of cousins. Or for a couple who wanted to take their physical relationship slowly. “You were right. This loft is perfect for us.”

  He wandered over to the window positioned under the slanted ceiling on the other end of the room and held the lantern against the glass. At least two feet of snow covered the roof. Would they ever get out of here? Did he even want to?

  “Did you know I’m a pool shark?” Pepper asked from behind him.

  He turned from the window. “Is that right?”

  She’d placed her lantern on the pool table and was over at the bar area pouring them both another drink. “You want to play? It’ll be a little challenging without much light.”

  “I’m in.”

  Stone figured out how to hang the lanterns from the funky wood chandelier over the pool table. Pepper had been right that the lighting situation made the game more challenging. The shadows played tricks on his eyes. Not that better lighting would have helped his game. Turned out, Pepper had not lied about her pool-playing abilities. She killed him in back-to-back eight-ball matches. He suggested they play nine-ball, hoping to redeem himself. Redemption did not happen. She ran the table.

  He leaned against his pool stick and shook his head. “You didn’t even give me a chance to sink one ball.”

  “I didn’t make the rules.” She shook her dark curls in that way that made his blood run hot.

  “You’ve damaged my fragile male ego.”

  She rolled her eyes as she lifted her glass in a mock toast. “Your ego seems unflappable.”

  He poured himself another drink, feeling loose. Hanging out with Pepper was way too much fun. He was in trouble. So much trouble.

  “Seriously, how did you learn to play like this?”

  “Dack,” she said as she flopped onto the couch. “That’s how we bonded when we first moved in with him. The poor man. He was almost thirty-five when he met my mom. He’d never been married before and had no children, not even a niece or nephew. And then, enter Pepper from stage right.”

  “He was lucky to have you.”

  She brushed her hair away from her forehead and rose to her feet with one hand planted into the arm of the sofa, as if she felt a little unsteady. “It seems like a week ago I last brushed my teeth.”

  He laughed. “Me too.”

  She picked up one of the lanterns and grabbed a towel, toothbrush, and toothpaste from the pile. “I’ll just be a minute.”

  While she was in the bathroom, she sang softly under her breath. Smiling at the lovely tone of her voice, he stripped down to his boxers and undershirt. After that, he opened a few cupboards until he found extra blankets. He put one on each of their beds, then took the lantern with him to the window and peered out at the falling snow. Still coming down in droves.

  Would it ever stop?

  Chapter 16

  Pepper

  * * *

  Pepper came out of the bathroom with a scrubbed face and clean teeth. She was still dressed in her jeans and sweater and figured she’d sleep in them. She wished she had her flannel pajamas with the candy cane pattern, sent to her last Christmas by her mother. Since she was a little girl, Pepper’s mother had bought matching pajamas for them and Dack. Last year had been no exception. She was certain to send them this year as well. An image of Stone with her family at Christmas, wearing a pair of matching pajamas, flashed through her mind. She smiled at the thought. With his easygoing attitude and good sense of humor, even if they were in a pattern of cheesy Santas, he would gladly wear them. He might even propose a photograph in front of the fireplace, reveling in the idea of family traditions because he’d grown up without them. S
entimental. Family oriented. Sweet. Like her stepfather. She put that thought aside for now.

  Stone stood by the window, inches from the glass. In profile, his face with its long, pointed nose and stern jaw appeared almost regal, like a playful yet brave son of a king, not yet forced to take command of a country, but ready when called. A worried sigh bunched his shoulders. How the heck did a man in a pair of boxers and a T-shirt look that sexy?

  He turned to face her. “Hey.”

  “Hi.” Pepper patted the arms of her sweater. “I can’t tell you how much I wish I had my Christmas pajamas with me.” She told him about the tradition of the Christmas pajamas. “We open them Christmas Eve, and my mom always acts like it’s a surprise when we all know what’s in the box. Then she makes us put them on and we all watch Christmas movies until midnight.”

  His expression grew wistful. “That’s a nice tradition.”

  “As long as you don’t mind cheesy patterns.”

  “I’d wear them and get a photograph,” he said.

  She’d predicted that one.

  “If you’re all done, I’ll use the bathroom before we turn out the lights.” He moved away from the window. His bottoms hung low on his hips. The thin T-shirt clung to his lean, muscular stomach. This was what Stone looked like before bed? She averted her eyes, shy. They would be sleeping just feet from each other. Was this a good idea? She shivered, imagining herself downstairs alone in one of the bedrooms. She’d be shaking like a leaf and fully expecting a monster to jump out of the closet.

  Her concerns must have shown on her face, because he crossed over to her and planted a kiss on her head. “Remember, no pressure. I’m a gentleman for as long as you need me to be.”

  She dropped her forehead onto his thick chest. “I know.”

  “I’m sure it feels weird to be sleeping in the same room.”

  “A little, yes,” she said into the fabric of his shirt.

  “And you’re just a little shy. Which I find very sweet.” He kissed her head again and let her go.

  The moment he was inside the bathroom, the cold crept in under her clothes.

  She carried the lantern into bed with her and set it in the alcove that served as a bedside table. Leaving the light on, she snuggled under the down comforter. The sheets were cold against her hands as she pulled the covers up to her neck. Her feet, however, were toasty, encased in thick socks. This bed was like a cocoon, small and enclosed. The way a sleeping space should be. She yawned and nestled further into the soft mattress, like a happy cat in a box.

  She listened to Stone’s heavy steps and the occasional creak of the floor, then the whir sound of him brushing his teeth and finally the clink of the toilet’s seat cover. Stone, her very own hero. His performance as leading man in what could have been a tragic day had been stellar. There wasn’t even a hint of hesitancy or fear during any of the myriad crises they’d encountered. He didn’t flinch when she did her crybaby move when the lights went out and begged him to sleep with her.

  The dark. She’d never been afraid until the night on the subway. Since then, she was afraid of what she couldn’t see. Would there be someone lurking around a corner or under a bed? No place was safe in the dark.

  The door to the bathroom opened. Stone crossed over to the beds with the lantern in his hand. “You look snug.”

  “I am,” she said.

  He threw her a kiss. “Good night, Pepper Shaker.”

  “Night.”

  The lantern threw shadows across his face as he left her. On the other side of the wall, the wood creaked from his weight. She heard him moving around before letting out a big sigh. “This bed feels better than it should.” His voice came through slightly muffled.

  “We had a long day.”

  “Will you be warm enough?” he asked.

  “My nose is cold but the rest of me is fine.”

  “Duck your head under the covers. That’s what we did when we were kids,” he said.

  When they were kids. Without heat. Or enough food. She ached for that little boy.

  “Do you have any photographs of when you were little?” she asked.

  “Autumn may have one or two. We weren’t a picture-taking family.”

  “Do you snore?” she asked.

  “No way.”

  “We’ll see about that,” she said, chuckling.

  “Do you snore?”

  “I’m much too ladylike.”

  His laugh penetrated the wall between them and nudged into her heart. It was a low, deep rumble that seemed to originate from his belly and made her feel as warm and cuddly as the comforter she was currently burrowed under.

  Scratch, scratch, scratch. She sat upright. What was that? It was coming from the wall next to her bed. She tensed, listening for it again. Please don’t come again.

  It did.

  Was it the sound of tiny feet scurrying up and down the wall? Rats. Oh God, rats.

  “Do you hear that?” Her voice sounded high and tinny between her ears.

  “Um, yeah.”

  She clutched the comforter to her chest. Why had she turned off her lamp?

  Silence and then the sound of the tiny, disgusting feet came again.

  “It’s rats. There are rats in the wall right next to me,” she said.

  “They can’t get to you. They’re in the wall.”

  Did he sound amused?

  “How do you know? What if there’s a hole?” She shuddered and reached for her lamp. With her fingertips she felt for the switch and turned it on. She blinked as her eyes adjusted to the light. “Stone?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m coming over to your bed.”

  Dead silence, except for the scurry of little feet. Oh my God, she hated rats. Rats in the dark were even worse. She wouldn’t be able to see them if they decided to crawl out of the hole and eat her face.

  “Stone, did you hear me?”

  “Yes, I heard you. Come on over.”

  She crawled out of the bed and crossed over to his nook. By the time she reached him, he was sitting up. And yes, he looked quite amused.

  “It’s not funny.” She handed him the lamp and crawled on top of the comforter until she reached the pillows. He’d scooted to the far side of the bed, but was so large he took up at least three-quarters of the mattress. She slipped in beside him and rubbed her fingertips down the wide-planked wall. Would the rats come over here or stay on the other side of the stairwell?

  “Why in God’s name do they make empty walls?” she asked.

  The lantern shook when he laughed, and made a pattern on the ceiling. “They may have eaten through the insulation. That happens sometimes.”

  She shuddered again, then turned on her side to watch him. “Which means they could totally eat my face.”

  “I’ll protect your face at all costs.” He held the lamp up. “Are you ready for me to turn this off now?”

  “You have to stay close to me.”

  “It’s impossible not to. This is a small bed for a guy like me, even without a girl in it.” He set the lamp on the shelf next to the bed and turned it off. “Not that I’m complaining. I love having you here.” His husky voice might be the end of her resolve.

  She blinked into the darkness. Nothing. She couldn’t see a thing. Her nose worked just fine, however, and it smelled the spicy, clean scent of Stone. Additionally, her sense of touch seemed to be fully functioning. She felt the weight of Stone as he settled next to her. The heat from his skin warmed her own, even without touching, distracting her from the killer rats not feet away.

  From what she could tell, he was on his back. She remained on her side, hoping to catch a glimpse of his profile in the dark. Still nothing. How could it be that even without sight, she was so keenly aware of him?

  Would her sense of taste be as tuned in as her other senses?

  God, her mind was in the gutter.

  “Pepper?”

  She jumped at the sound of her name. “Yes?”

 
; “Do you understand you’re torturing me?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “We’re in a very small bed and you’re the sexiest woman in the history of the world. Do I need to say more?”

  She sighed with pleasure at the compliment. What had happened to her resolve to remain strong? “I’m sorry, but I can’t sleep over there by the rats.”

  The bed moved as he let out a sigh, and he must have rolled to his side because she felt his breath on her neck. “It’s so dark.” He shifted slightly and his arm brushed her left breast. “Sorry. I can’t tell exactly where you are.”

  Desire flooded through her. Was it the whiskey or the dark or just this man and his inconsiderately fantastic-smelling neck?

  “Are you okay?” he asked. “Is this freaking you out?”

  “No. I’m not freaked out. I’m…a…I’m feeling things I probably shouldn’t.”

  “About me?” he asked.

  She could feel his smile even if she couldn’t see it.

  “You smell really good,” she said. “And you’re warm and big.”

  “You’re soft and little.” He chuckled, and her heart ached in the most exquisite of ways. “And you smell like the best thing God ever made.”

  She scooted next to him and found his mouth with hers. They kissed as he rolled onto his back, taking her with him. “I wish I could see you.” She propped herself up with her hands on his shoulders and straddled him.

  “Pepper.” His voice was quiet, a warning.

  She kissed him again, then trailed her mouth down his neck. Her hands found their way under his shirt.

  “Is this what you want?” His hands wrapped around her legs. “Are you sure?”

  “I’m sure.” They kissed again. He rolled her over so his tall, hard body covered her. His fingers worked their way up her waist to brush her breasts. She arched against him.

  “Your skin…it’s so soft.” His lips were on her neck, spreading fire. He unzipped her jeans and tugged them off her legs.