by Renee, DC
“That’s great news,” I told him. “I mean, not about the not being able to make friends part,” I backpedaled. “That’s horrible, but that’s also why I’m happy I can help even a little bit.” And maybe seeing you would be some bonus eye candy too.
“Good, good. Well, I’ll text you the days his parents aren’t able to sit with him all day. But I probably won’t have a chance to do that until after my shift. I have to run. I’ve been so busy I didn’t even have a chance to eat lunch or dinner yet. If I don’t text you with the schedule tonight, that means I probably passed out. Just text me a reminder tomorrow if you don’t hear from me by then.”
“No rush. I mean, I want to start as soon as possible, but I’m sure Jacob and his parents will understand. So whenever you have a minute, text me. And I’m guessing the answer is no since I’m obviously not a doctor, but if there is anything I can help with, let me know.”
“Thanks,” Noah said, and I could hear in his voice that my offer surprised him. I wasn’t sure whether to be offended or happy.
“Well, I have to run. Thanks, Hadley.”
I said goodbye and hung up, but I wondered how I could help him. I truly felt bad for the guy. He sounded like he was about to fall asleep. And it was a wonder he didn’t chew my head off if he hadn’t eaten yet. Every guy I knew was an ogre if they weren’t fed.
And just like that, an idea popped into my head.
I’d like to say my idea was purely selfless, but I wasn’t Noah. It came from a good place, but I definitely had ulterior motives.
I picked up the phone, got to work, and then waited to see if my idea panned out.
Noah
“HADLEY?” I ASKED as I saw her figure approach just as I was walking out. I’d had a long shift—extra-long—but it was finally over, and I was heading home. It had only been an hour and a half since I’d spoken with Hadley about her hanging out with Jacob. And I’d yet to email her his parents’ schedule yet. So, naturally, I was surprised to see her walking into the hospital then.
I guess, if she knew his parents were all right with her coming by, she could come at any time. It was just a bit odd.
“Oh good,” she said, but she sounded scattered, and she looked a little frazzled too. “I wasn’t sure when you were getting off, and this whole thing turned into a disaster. I was afraid I’d show up, and you wouldn’t be here. It looks like I made it just in time, though.”
“Wait, you’re looking for me?” I asked, confused.
“Yeah,” she said and furrowed her brow, and it was a bit endearing.
“Okay, start from the beginning,” I told her.
“When you said you hadn’t had a chance to eat, I felt bad, so I wanted to order you food and have it delivered so you ate something. I didn’t know what you liked, so I took a chance and ordered my favorite Italian food. Everyone loves Italian, right?” she asked but didn’t wait for a response. “I figured it was safe. So I placed the order, gave them your information, and that was that. Except, it wasn’t. An hour later, I get a call that they made the food and were about to deliver it, but their driver slipped and fell and cut his hand in the middle of the restaurant. Cue crisis, right? My food sat cold, unattended, for like thirty minutes while they figured out the driver’s situation, who apparently refused medical attention. Finally, a regular who happened to be a doctor walked in, fixed him up, and all is well in the world. And that’s when they remembered my order. They started making a brand-new one while they called me and told me all this. I would have just canceled, but they’d already made it. But, of course, their driver couldn’t deliver. So I ran out of my house, picked up the food, and here you go.” She said this all so quickly that I actually watched her take a deep, relieved breath after. I tried very hard not to laugh, but I knew my mouth looked like it was having a seizure as it went in and out of a smile. I couldn’t help it. She had rambled so fast, and it was all just so insane.
“No good deed goes unpunished,” she muttered as she blew an errant hair out of her face.
I couldn’t hold back the smile or the chuckle any longer.
“I…uh…thank you,” I told her, sincerely. Aside from the sheer entertainment of it all, it was a very nice gesture. I was beginning to see that Hadley was a nice person. A truly nice person. Those were rare to find these days.
“They felt so bad that they didn’t charge me,” she admitted, and I liked her even more for telling me that. “I couldn’t let it go to waste, though, and I didn’t want you to starve. I hope you haven’t eaten yet. Or wait, maybe I do. I hope you did eat, and you’re not hungry, and then you can just save this for later. It’s a rigatoni pasta with mushrooms, chicken, onions, and a cream sauce along with bread, and they even threw in some dessert.”
“Wow, Hadley…thank you very much. Honestly, thank you. I’m sorry you had to go through all that, but it makes for a good story,” I told her with a wink. She finally smiled. “As luck, or unluck, would have it, I haven’t eaten yet. I’m headed home, but I probably would have just made myself a quick turkey and cheese sandwich before crashing. This is much better,” I said as I peered in the bag. The contents were in boxes with clear lids, so I saw just how much she ordered. Even though I was hungry, it was too much for just one person, even if said person could eat a whole cow then. “Care to join me?” I asked.
“What?” she asked.
“There’s a lot of food here, and I don’t want to wait until I go home, or it’ll get cold. Want to share some with me? We can head to the cafeteria.”
“Oh, I…sure,” she said, her shocked expression morphing into a pleasant one. A smile graced her lips, and I realized it was nice.
I led her to the cafeteria, grabbing some plates and extra utensils on the way to the table. We sat down in silence as I laid out the food she’d brought. We each took a portion and dug in without saying a word. It wasn’t until we’d had a few bites each that I spoke.
“This is delicious,” I told her.
“Isn’t it? They’re my favorite. I’ve been going there for eight years now. Ever since I first discovered it.”
“Thank you for this.”
“Oh, stop,” she said as she blushed. “You already thanked me, and it’s not a big deal. I just brought a hungry friend some food. Nothing like what you do.” I knew what she hinted at with that last sentence, but I let it glide over me.
“So we’re friends, huh?” I asked, not letting that tidbit slide.
She looked shocked by her own words. She probably was, not having even realized what she’d alluded to. “I just meant—” she started, but I cut her off.
“I think this makes us friends. Or at least, if it gets me free food, I’ll definitely be your friend,” I added with a chuckle.
She threw a crumpled-up napkin at me, causing both of us to laugh.
“You have a nice laugh,” she said and looked like she was about to pass out right after. If I had to guess, I’d say she hadn’t meant to say that out loud.
“Thank you,” I told her, letting her off the hook. She seemed to relax.
“You don’t laugh often, do you?” she asked timidly.
I stopped mid-bite, caught off guard by her question. “No,” I admitted. “No,” I repeated with a shake of my head. “Not a lot in my life to laugh about.”
“Why not?” she asked. “You have people around you who care about you, and you have patients who look up to you. Seems like good reasons for enjoyment and laughter.”
“I also have death around me. Lots and lots of death.”
“All the more reason to appreciate life,” she countered.
I put down my fork and brought my fingers to the bridge of my nose. My long, tiring day had a pleasant end, but it was now taking a turn down Shit Road. Before I could say anything, though, Hadley spoke. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to turn this into…well, this,” she said. “Whatever this crap mood that just came over the conversation is. I just want you to be happy, Noah. Truly. I don’t know you, and
I’ll admit that. I don’t know your life. I don’t know the crappy hand you were dealt, and the stuff you go through, but I know you are a good man, and you deserve to be happy. I want that for you. That’s all. Now, let’s change the subject so we can salvage this dinner, friend,” she said with a shy smile.
“It’s fine, friend,” I responded back with my own smile, her words having defused the situation. Crazy how this person I barely knew could affect my mood so drastically. “I’m not the person you see me as,” I told her. “I wish I was. I wish for a lot of things, but they don’t come true. I’m just a guy living life because I’m alive, while others…are not.” I stumbled over the words; my thoughts immediately flooded with Tracy. “I’m not special. I’m not good. I’m not anything but that. Simple as that. Now, how about that subject change?” I asked, and Hadley chuckled in response before diving into a crude joke that had me laughing for a second time that night.
It wasn’t until we’d parted, and I was in bed that it dawned on me just how much I had laughed with Hadley. And with huge reluctance, I’ll admit that I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it a lot. Too much.
Hadley
I COULD GET used to hearing him call my name, even if it was in the form of a question.
“Hadley?” he repeated as if I hadn’t heard him the first time. I had; I was just dumbstruck.
“We have to stop meeting like this,” I answered, turning around and smiling. Bumping into each other was clearly a thing. Even though a few times were orchestrated by Sidney and once was a mishap. Semantics.
He smiled in return. “What are you doing here?” he asked, then rolled his eyes. “Grocery shopping, obviously,” he said, answering his own question.
I was at the market by the office, having finished the day and grabbing some stuff. I had a routine, and that included grocery shopping on a Friday evening when most people with more exciting lives than me were out on the town. I usually shopped at the market by my house and then went home right after. My mind had been a bit scattered lately, so I had forgotten some things the Friday before, and now I was out of butter and eggs. Call me crazy, but I was saving my market shopping for my usual Friday. As a result, I ended up here. Yep, I know, clear OCD tendencies.
I was rarely at this market, only coming if I needed something during a lunch break or if my market was out of something, which was why I probably never saw Noah here before. That, and there were so many other supermarkets in the area, what were the chances he shopped at this one?
“The office is just a few blocks away,” I told him, explaining why I was at this market, not that he asked.
“I just needed to pick up a few things,” he responded, not that I asked.
It was officially a bit awkward. Almost like, dare I say it, we were two young kids figuring out how to flirt…unsuccessfully. Oh, if only that were true. No, this was awkward because we’d had a pleasant, friendly dinner a few nights ago, by accident, and then nothing. I hadn’t stopped by the hospital yet; I was going to do that in a couple of days. We’d finally finished going through all the contest entries, but we had two more days left before our original deadline. I’d basically—and very sadly—given up hope that Noah would participate in the contest. I could only push so much. Note the keyword being “basically.” I had a very tiny inkling of hope, and I was planning on seeing if Sidney had one more good nudge in her before it was truly over. But I wasn’t holding my breath on Noah himself.
We hadn’t talked. Despite calling ourselves friends, we weren’t “really” friends. It took more than a few run-ins and nice conversation to be friends. I didn’t call or text him, and he didn’t call or text me.
“Okay, this is bullshit,” I said after a beat of more awkwardness.
“What is?” he asked.
“This hemming and hawing,” I said, pointing back and forth between the two of us. “This awkward bullshit that’s going on. Go finish your shopping. I just have a few more things I need, and then we’re meeting at the coffee shop next door. Got it?” I asked, having made an executive decision.
“Yes, ma’am,” he responded with a little salute and a wink. I liked it when he was playful and fun. I most certainly didn’t like it when he was Mr. Moody, like the first time we met, and the times I kept getting glances of him.
Fifteen minutes later, I’d ordered a coffee, sat down at a table, and waited for Noah to join me. Two minutes later, he walked in the door. Heads turned as women gawked, and men straightened their shoulders. Noah commanded the room just by walking in, and he didn’t even realize it. He didn’t know just what his presence did to people. I’d noticed that at the hospital too. Noah Shields was in charge, and people knew it. And not only was that extremely enticing, but it also gave people a sense of security, especially his patients. How could he, for one second, believe he was anything less?
“I would have ordered you something, but I wasn’t sure what you liked,” I admitted. “And unlike safe Italian food, coffee is a little trickier,” I told him after he approached the table I’d claimed.
“I wouldn’t have expected you to get me anything,” he said. “And I should have gotten your drink.”
“Nonsense,” I said as I waved my hand.
“I’ll be right back.” He walked off and ordered his coffee, which was miraculously ready within a minute. I bet he was bumped up in line. Couldn’t blame the pretty young barista. I’d bump him up too if I were here.
“Day off?” I asked after he sat down.
“Yep, a rare one these days.”
“And what, pray tell, does Dr. Noah Shields, workaholic, do on these rare days off?” I asked with a teasing smile.
“I don’t know about that. I’m not a workaholic. I just don’t have much else to do.”
“No friends?”
“I have friends, but they all work normal nine-to-fives, so we get together for an occasional dinner or drinks. I usually just read, watch TV, and work out when I have some free time,” he told me. “I visit my family if they’re free or go see Amber and Jay. Not much else. Grocery shopping,” he added with a shrug. “I’m just a regular guy, I guess.”
“You’re far from it,” I countered. “For one, a lot of guys don’t read for fun,” I said with a little chuckle. He smiled in return. “A lot of guys don’t save lives on a daily basis and then just shrug it off like it’s no big deal.”
“A lot of guys don’t watch the people they are trying to save die on a daily basis, either.”
“Shit, sorry, there we go again,” I said in response. “Or rather, there I go again, turning the conversation into something more.”
“It’s fine, really.”
“It’s not,” I told him. “I don’t mean to push you,” I said. “Actually, you know, no, I do mean to push you. I like you, Noah, I mean, not like that,” I said, backpedaling a bit. “I like you as a person. Don’t get me wrong, you’re nice to look at, but it’s not like that. Shit,” I said as I realized the words coming out of my mouth. Noah just looked amused, not saying a word with a smile lighting up his face. “Oh, shut it, you know what I mean.”
“What?” he asked innocently. “I didn’t say a word. But you did. Plenty of words.” I blushed.
“Whatever,” I mumbled. “Not the point, okay?”
“Okay, so then what’s the point?” he asked.
“I’m pushing you because you’re wrong. I get that something tragic happened, but it wasn’t your fault. If it was, don’t you think her parents, your in-laws, would blame you? They’re not. In fact, it was your mother-in-law who entered you in the hero contest in the first place. It seems to me like a last-ditch effort to get you to see yourself as you truly are. You’re not to blame, Noah. It’s not your fault. Shitty things happen to good people all the time. God knows why, but they do. Do you know who suffers the most when our loved ones leave? Us. We do. We’re the ones left behind to grieve. Not them. You. You, Noah, are grieving. You might not believe it, you might not see it, but you’re in one of the damn st
ages. I don’t even know them, but I know you are in one of them. So, yeah, I’m pushing you, so you can finish the freaking stages and realize you are a hero. Look, it doesn’t have to be this contest, but it does have to happen.”
“You sound like Amber,” he muttered.
“Smart woman,” I countered.
“You don’t even know me,” he said.
“I know enough.”
“It is my fault,” he said, but this time, he didn’t sound angry. He sounded defeated. And I wasn’t sure which was worse.
“No, Noah, it’s not,” I said softly as I reached across the table and laid a hand on his. His eyes homed in on that, and I was honestly surprised I’d done that, but it had been instinctual.
“You’re wrong, Hadley. Amber is wrong. You’re all wrong,” he said. “You didn’t see your wife wither away before your very eyes, knowing you’re the only person who can save her, and guess what, you can’t. How does that make me a hero? It doesn’t. It makes me a damn monster. And nothing that you, Amber, or a goddamn contest says is going to change that. But I’m tired of fighting you, and I’m tired of fighting Amber and Jay. I’m just tired of fighting. I’ll enter the contest. You win. Count me in. Just don’t…don’t be surprised when it changes nothing.”
“Don’t be surprised when it changes everything.” And it would. I just knew it would.
Noah
“I ENTERED THE contest,” I told Amber and Jay when I was at their place visiting them. We’d just finished having lunch and were now sitting outside on the patio, drinking iced tea and enjoying the warm weather. I’d had another rare day off, and I took the opportunity to see my in-laws. Funny how I seemed to see them more than my own parents. Well, my parents did live two states away, along with my sister, her husband, and my soon-to-be niece.
I’d moved here for medical school and stayed, especially after I met Tracy. I was very close to my parents, and I missed my little sister, Jade, but with my schedule, it was hard to visit them. I told myself I needed to make a trip to see them, especially after my niece was born. But in the meantime, Amber and Jay were the family I spent my free time with. They were the ones here, the ones picking up, the ones who understood my grief as no one else could. Don’t get me wrong, my family flew here for the funeral, and my mom stayed for a week after, but she could only do so much. She hadn’t experienced what I had, and she didn’t know how to comfort me. That’s why it took Amber to snap me out of my funk.
