by S M Mala
‘I’m going to take time out one day and read that column of yours and find out exactly what you think about things, that’s when I find the time.’ She folded her arms. ‘Then I’ll punch you.’ He widened his eyes in amusement. ‘Because I will know if you’ve written about me.’
‘No, you won’t. You wouldn’t have a clue.’
‘So, you admit you have!’
‘I admit to nothing.’ Stan smiled, then eyed her up and down. ‘Still in pain?’
‘You might be later on.’
Maddy sat down and noticed he had boiled her egg, left two rashers of bacon on a plate and some toast. She tried hard not to grin at the use of her polka breakfast plates which she kept for special occasions.
‘Thank you,’ she said, breaking out into a wide smile making him do the same in return. ‘This is very nice. Roland would only ever leave a box of Cheerios for me, mainly when he’d drunk all the milk.’
‘He’s all heart.’ Stan took off his hat and stared. ‘Your taste in men, well, that’s something to write about.’
‘Most men are filling their boots before they take a look at me.’
‘The things you say,’ he replied, looking exasperated. ‘Do you think before you open your mouth?’
‘I'm not rude, just an observation.’ Maddy shrugged and buttered her toast. ‘I’d like Dora’s mum to get together with Dr. Bob. That way she gets someone to love and look after her child at the same time. I think they’d make a lovely couple.’
‘Bearing in mind, he’s still married, and you don’t know what Dora’s mum thinks of him.’
‘Dora likes him, and everyone fancies Dr. Bob.’
‘Even you?’
‘He’s too straight down the line and run of the mill for my liking. I prefer quirky.’ Maddy looked away so he couldn’t figure out what she meant. ‘You know what I mean.’
‘How is your love life?’
‘What love life?’ She ate her toast and watched him look at his phone, type something in then smile. His little brown leather notebook was by his side. ‘I’ve not seen that for ages. Where’ve you been keeping it?’
‘In my pocket.’ Stan stared at her. ‘It contains my deepest and darkest thoughts.’
‘I keep all that in my brain.’
‘Until you open your pretty little mouth and it trips out.’ He suddenly became serious. ‘Have you bumped into your nemesis, Tara, since seeing her last?’
‘No.’ Suddenly she removed the toast from her lips and put it down, losing her appetite. ‘I’ve not thought much about it and Ted told me to keep away from her, she’s a bad one.’
‘Have you ever wondered why Ted stuck up for you on that fateful day which changed your life? It seemed odd that the best-looking boy in school intervened.’
‘I don’t know,’ she honestly replied. ‘I was grateful because we’re the best of friends now and I trust him totally.’
‘I still think you burn a deep desire for him in the hope he’ll suddenly fall in love with you.’ He pulled a face she’d not seen before as if the idea was repulsive. ‘He’s the sort of men women do that for.’
‘I’m not like other women, or haven’t you guessed? I don’t have a secret longing for him, far from it. I’ve seen him butt naked loads of times and I’m not interested. I’ve even heard him on the job, and he’s pretty nubile.’
‘Nubile?’
‘Knows what to do and how to make it quick and satisfying, very much like a cup of tea.’ Maddy watched Stan stare. ‘You make good tea.’
Stan’s mobile vibrated on the table as he looked at it, frowned then glanced at her.
‘Who’s that from, or shouldn’t I ask?’ she said, continuing to eat her breakfast.
‘Giselle.’
‘Oh.’
‘Oh, what?’
‘Nothing.’ Maddy shrugged her shoulders. ‘You still like her, don’t you?’ She noticed his nonresponsive body language. ‘You’re messing with her feelings. We’ve bumped into her more than a few times, and the woman looks keen. Why are you playing with her heart? Are you that mean?’
‘It doesn’t feel right.’
‘How do you know what’s right when you don’t give it a try?’
What Maddy meant was to give her a try, not Giselle and wondered if he had picked up on it as Stan handed Phyllis a rasher of bacon, which the pup happily wolfed down in two bites.
‘I don’t want to talk about matters of the heart as there’s nothing to say.’ Stan then turned to her. ‘Though you are extremely interesting.’
‘Am I?’ she smiled, flattered at the comment.
‘Only because things about you are a little odd.’
‘Oh.’
‘Nicely odd.’
‘I don’t know what that means.’ Maddy realised Stan most definitely did not even rate her as girlfriend material. ‘But someone, somewhere will learn to like me. I have booked my flight for 12th June and will be on my way to Rome in the hope of finding love and happiness.’
‘And that’s it, is it? Your ambition in life.’ He shook his head as if disappointed. ‘To bag a man on holiday and expect it to be true love.’
‘I’m a simpleton. There’s no denying it.’ Feeling deflated at his remark, she didn’t want to eat the rest of her breakfast. ‘We can’t all be glamourous and have rock hard abs.’ He darted her a look. ‘I did do a sit up once, and it made me feel giddy, so I never did it again.’ Maddy sipped her tea. ‘Look, I’m in a lot of pain today so maybe spending the day together is going to be pretty dull for you. Hook up with your friends and go to the pub or something. I’m sure that’ll be more fun. I can stay with Phyllis then we can go and get ice cream later. She’ll need to steady me with her dog lead.’
Stan put his elbow on the table then rested his face in his hand, staring at her.
‘Every other weekend you can have her starting from next week as she will have to settle back into my flat. You can have her Thursday and Fridays but ring on Monday morning just in case.’ He sighed then grinned.
‘Just in case what?’ Maddy frowned knowing what he was going to say.
‘Just in case.’ Stan looked at her half-eaten breakfast then back up. ‘I don’t think you eat properly. I know what you told me about your illness, but you’re not consuming the right foods.’
‘It wasn’t an illness,’ she replied, getting agitated he wanted to talk about the bulimia. ‘I was upset.’
‘I think you’re scared of food due to having a control issue. When you’re upset, it has a knock-on effect on how you eat. I had a close friend whose girlfriend suffered anorexia, and it’s pretty much the same thing.’
‘Do I look anorexic?’
‘You look like a cherub with boobs, but you’re still quite petite, other than your cleavage.’
‘That’s good I have a bust for the free bras Stan gives me. I’m prone to getting fat.’
‘Maddy, are you listening to me? I still think you have issues. Even the dog suits you wear at Sunday lunch. What are you really scared of?’
‘Doing another fun run.’ Maddy stood up and noticed he eyed her with suspicion. ‘I’m barking Maddy, as you say. I wear a dog suit for when I work and sometimes when I don’t. There’s nothing wrong with that. And yes, the food thing is odd, but I have to be careful. I promised my parents, Ted and Pearl I’d never throw up again or become that ill. And it was a small blip as I didn’t expect my grandma to die and it was upsetting. All this money had been thrown at me when I was twenty-five but it made no difference. When someone you love dies, nothing can stop the pain. Nothing.’
‘And when someone upsets you?’
‘Same thing.’
‘That’s unhealthy.’
‘But I don’t get upset anymore. I won’t let anything or anyone get to me again. I’m not some feeble woman, you know. I control it.’ She realised what had tripped from her mouth. ‘By looking on the bright side.’
‘I told you before, you will hit a brick wall one day.’
Stan stood up and looked at her before glancing at Phyllis playing with her ball in the corner. ‘You’re not a dog. You can’t go around aimlessly thinking that life is about walks, playing and food.’ He grimaced. ‘You’re an adult.’
‘If we are going to spend the day together then don’t lecture me!’ she snapped back, irritated by his comment only to see Stan’s eyes widen. ‘I’m not as thick as everyone thinks I am. Far from it. I’m aware of reality and how it hits and hurts you. Some people get off on the angst, I don’t.’
And on that note, she walked off out of the house, knowing she was on the verge of punching Stanley Franks for rattling her soft cushions and ever so protective cage.
‘Are you speaking to me yet?’
Stan was intent on winding her up when he demanded they went for a bike ride half an hour after she returned home, in a calmer mood. ‘This is the longest you’ve been quiet, and I can safely say I’m having a good time.’
She abruptly put her brakes on making sure Phyllis, who was in her basket, didn’t fall out.
‘We have one day left before I leave, so you’re going to have to talk to me then I can appreciate the silence of my four walls.’
‘Two days in a row you’ve been mean to me. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve it. I thought we were buddies.’ Maddy noticed he was trying not to laugh. ‘Fine!’
Cycling ahead and making sure Phyllis was okay, Maddy decided to go back home. Her legs ached, and so did everything else. Even her cheating hadn’t eased her sore muscles. Stan easily caught up as she ignored him riding beside her.
‘It’s nearly lunchtime, where do you want to go to eat? My treat,’ he said trying to push in front of her. ‘But you have to have adult portions.’
‘I can do that!’ she replied, ignoring him. ‘I’m not a child.’
‘Then stop sulking like one.’
What she wanted to tell him, but couldn’t, was that she had hoped the day would be wonderful and he’d see she was nice to be around. The dreaded Tuesday was only a matter of hours away, and she didn’t want Phyllis and him to leave. Darting a glance, he looked very happy and probably couldn’t wait.
Maddy started to slow down and got off her bike, preferring to push it instead. Phyllis jumped out, and she held onto the lead.
‘What time are you going tomorrow?’ she asked, looking around the park. ‘Do you need me to give you a food parcel?’
‘I’ve ordered a grocery delivery for mid-morning, so all should be good,’ he said, getting off his bike and walking beside her. Maddy’s heart sank seeing he was going to leave early. ‘The place looks great, and Pearl will come over after the weekend to sort out the interior.’
‘Lucky Pearl,’ she mumbled, knowing an invite to his home was probably out of the question.
‘I’m not mean to you. We’ve spent so much time together recently. We need our space. People are going to think we’re joined at the hip soon.’ Stan laughed and shoved her with his arm. ‘Admit it, you’re sick of me, aren’t you?’
‘If you say so.’ Maddy looked at Phyllis who was trotting beside her.
‘So, we’re buddies?’
‘If you want.’ She let out a sigh. ‘Don’t force yourself. I know you have a busy social life and I’m not part of your crowd.’
‘Ah, emotional blackmail!’ Stan laughed out loudly. ‘I’ve always got time for you to look after Phyl.’
‘Well, that’s good I have a purpose in your eyes.’ The next thing she felt was him pulling at her arm as she stopped. ‘Yes?’
‘I can now see what the appeal is,’ he said, with a grin. ‘I didn’t get it initially, but I do now.’
‘What appeal?’
‘Maddy, you are funny.’ Stan bent down and kissed her nose. ‘Very funny.’
She looked straight into his eyes and knew what she felt about Stanley Franks was a little more than she could ever say.
The man had taken over her home and heart.
But she wished he’d feel the same way.
Though she knew, like Phyllis seeing a squirrel, she would be barking up the wrong tree.
‘Maddy, don’t cry.’
‘I’m not!’
‘You are.’ Stan let out a little laugh as he held Phyllis in his arms on her doorstep. ‘We’re fifteen minutes away on your bike.’
‘That’s nice.’ Maddy couldn’t hold her tears as she looked at them. ‘I’m shedding tears of happiness because you’re moving out.’ She sniffed before putting a tissue in front of her face. ‘I’m deliriously happy!’
‘Oh God!’ sighed Stan, shaking his head.
‘Madeleine!’ Ted was walking down the drive. ‘Are you being emotional? Come here!’ He grabbed her in his arms, then she heard him start to laugh. ‘Do you think Stan is going to hand over Phyllis?’
‘No!’ she said into his chest before turning to look at Stan’s wry smile. ‘We have joint custody, so it’s not an issue.’
‘I see. Any other things you need me to get?’ asked Ted, who was helping Stan move out. ‘We’re nearly all packed up.’ He then pinched her cheek. ‘Let’s me and you go out tonight for dinner just in case you decide to squat in Stan’s flat.’
‘Okay,’ she snivelled though there was something much stronger in her chest telling her Stan and Phyllis leaving was hurting more than she was about to let on. ‘I'm silly. I even cried when I threw a guitar at Roland’s head when he told me how much it cost after using my credit card. It’s silly.’
‘You’re silly,’ Stan whispered then put Phyllis down who ran back into the house. ‘That’s why she needs to spend time with me, so that she can see this is not her home. Phyllis!’
The dog came out and stood next to Maddy. She bent down and cuddled the pooch.
‘I’ll come and see you after the weekend. Your daddy wants you to spend time with him, and I will respect his wishes until Monday when I will come and get you, just in case.’ She flicked him a glance. ‘Six days is long enough without you.’
Ted shook his head and walked off back to the car as Stan grabbed Phyllis’s lead.
‘You can pop round anytime, and I’ll give you a tour of my very small home,’ smiled Stan. Maddy noticed he held his breath before he looked down at the ground then back up at her. ‘Thank you for letting us stay. It was an interesting experience which I’ll never forget.’
‘I’m sorry.’ Maddy shrugged knowing he meant it wasn’t the best time for him.
‘Maddy!’ He gave her a big hug and then looked at her. ‘Barking Maddy, what would life be like without you?’
‘Less chat, chat, chat.’ She bit her lip. ‘At least you can watch telly without me annoying you.’
‘That’s worth looking forward to.’ There was a moment’s hesitation as he was about to say something then changed his mind. ‘See you.’
Stan walked away with Phyllis and got into Ted’s car.
As they drove off she felt her heart sink knowing that Stan would probably never want to spend time with her again.
And that hurt her poor little heart a bit more than she could have imagined.
‘I can’t tell anyone.’
Maddy looked at Dora lying on her bed. The young girl looked a little grey bit there were still her pretty pink cheeks shining through. ‘And it’s not something Ted would want to hear. Pearl is in her own world at the moment.’ She then grabbed Dora’s hand. ‘Enough about my make-believe love life, how are you?’
‘Enough of me!’ smirked Dora. ‘You’ve fallen in love. And you only just realised.’ She laughed. ‘Maddy you’ve had a crush on him since the moment you met. Every time you mention Stan’s name, your eyes light up.’
‘Ted told me not to fall for him and there have been a few random comments here and there. I don’t even know if he likes me.’
‘How can he not?’
‘He can’t stand the way I dress. Thinks when I turn thirty the spots have to go.’ Maddy shrugged looking at Dora’s spotted duvet cover. ‘And I daren’t tell
you his comments about the bows and shoes. I’m not changing for any man!’
Dora started to laugh and sat back in her bed.
‘You know, he likes you. I can tell. He constantly looks at you when we were at Lance’s party and then at mine. And I saw him typing something into his phone before grinning. Everyone thought he was lovely. Why don’t you tell him how you feel?’
‘No! I could never do that! I don’t know if he even likes me. He says I chat, chat, chat all the time and it drives him mad. And what if he laughs in my face? Oh no, I can’t be doing with the rejection.’ Then Maddy sighed and said what she really felt. ‘I don’t think I’m the sort of woman who he’s attracted to. Giselle seems to always be around when we go out and he still likes her. Did I tell you about her rock hard abdominal muscles? I dread to think how her inner thighs are. Mine are wobbly like a jelly.’
‘Maddy, you know I love you and think you’re brilliant,’ Dora said, sitting up and taking her mask off. Maddy just put it back on which was then removed again for her to speak. ‘When you do turn the big three zero, maybe you should donate your clothes to a charity or sell them. That way you can raise money for the hospice.’
‘What?’ Maddy jumped to her feet in astonishment. ‘You think I shouldn’t be wearing spots?’
‘It is the time for you to show that you’re a woman.’
‘Next, you’ll be telling me not to wear the puppy suits. I have three of them!’
‘In life, there has to be some give and take.’ Dora grinned at her, putting the mask back on.
‘If I give all my clothes to charity to raise money for the hospice then I only have four items left. That means I have to go shopping.’ She hesitated. ‘Don’t you want them?’
Dora looked at her and Maddy noticed an expression she had never seen before. Then the girl grabbed Maddy’s hand, giving it a little squeeze.
‘Raise money for the hospice and let others wear your clothes. I’m happy to donate my things too.’
‘Are you saying you don’t like spots?’ Maddy asked aghast. ‘Have I forced you into liking something that I like?’
