by Jessica M.
© 2021
Published by Royalty Publishing House
www.royaltypublishinghouse.com
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ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Any unauthorized reprint or use of the material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage without express permission by the author or publisher. This is an original work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Contains explicit language & adult themes suitable for ages 16+ only.
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Contents
Synopsis
Acknowledgments
Prologue
How It All Began…
1. Kashae
2. Kashae
3. Adonis
4. Karmen
5. Kashae
6. Karmen
7. Kashae
8. Kashae
9. Karmen
10. Adonis
11. Kashae
12. Adonis
13. Kashae
14. Karmen
15. Marlene Wells Reynolds
16. Adonis
17. Kashae
18. Karmen
19. Rev. Harvey Howard
20. First Lady Kalissa Howard
21. Adonis
22. Karmen
23. Pastor Maddox Wells
24. Kashae
25. Rev. Harvey Howard
26. Adonis
To Be Continued!
Note From The Author
About the Author
Also by Jessica M.
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Synopsis
We’ve all heard the saying “live and learn,” but what happens when you never get the chance to live?
Kashae “Kash” Howard is a twenty-year-old who knows nothing about living life. Growing up in a home with a pastor as a father and a mother who hung on his every word and followed his every lead, her only hope at a normal life is when an unexpected blessing pushes her parents to leave town, leaving her behind in the care of her older sister and her brother-in-law. Looking forward to her newfound freedom, things that she thought she knew and things that she believed she wanted drive her into a tangled web of lust, lies, and deceit. Thinking that her sheltered life prevented her from having the life she always craved, little does she know that everything that glitters isn’t gold and everything she believes is far from the truth.
Karmen Howard Nash is the big sister to a sheltered Kashae. Unlike Kashae, Karmen is what is often referred to as the rebellious child. While most called her rebellious, she thought of it as living. She never allowed her father to run her life or dictate her moves like her mother and sister often did. Doing things her way, she married who she wanted, picked the career that she wanted, and always did things her way. But when the opportunity presents itself to bring her sister into her home, she doesn’t think twice about it. They were always close, but being six years Kashae’s elder, once Karmen got older, she had to leave the nest to live her own life as she saw fit, which put a strain on the relationship she once had with her baby sister. Thinking that bringing her sister into her home is a good thing not only for herself, but for her sister, she is ecstatic to have Kash move in. What she doesn’t bank on is her sheltered sister becoming buck wild and doing things her parents would have never approved of. Believing that Kashae is only going through a phase, she never talks down on her and allows her to do whatever she needs in order to find herself. But what happens when Kashae finds herself in the middle of something that could destroy everyone involved?
Is blood indeed thicker than water? Will a family survive the lies, betrayal, and deceit when everything hits the fan?
In this gripping the edge of your seat page turner, you are pulled into a family where lies are the norm and everything you believe no longer exists. Take a ride with the Howard sisters who not only try to discover who they are now, but try to bury where they came from.
I pray you enjoy part one of Lies, Lust, and Us…….A Scandalous Affair.
Acknowledgments
Thank you God for my writing abilities. Without you, there would be no me!
To my husband, mom, and others that support me, I appreciate you and could never express how grateful I am.
To my new writing family, I’m excited about what’s to come. I love to learn and I’m looking forward to what the future will bring with my new Royalty Family. A huge thank you goes to Porscha for the opportunity to be a part of her team, and thank you Michelle for making the transition as simple and easy as possible.
Much Love,
Jessica M.
Prologue
Kashae
Kashae Howard, the lady yelled from afar, but my ass couldn’t move. It was like I had cement blocks on my ankles or something. Hearing my name made this shit real to me. It was like I knew she held my fate in her hands and I wasn’t ready to hear it just yet. After hearing my name in the distance for at least three more times, I finally willed myself in the direction of the person who was calling my name.
I could tell once I approached her that she was irritated at my slow response, but I didn’t give a fuck because the words that would soon flow from her mouth could potentially ruin me. Shit, not just me, but my entire family. My family had high hopes for me. Hell, I had high hopes for myself, but one wrong move, one wrong choice was about to make or break my ass.
Lord, if you fix this shit, I promise I’ll pay my ten percent and keep my hot ass legs closed! Come on Jesus! I glanced up to the ceiling in hopes that my prayers were heard.
The lady dressed in beige slacks, a long-sleeve, dingy, white blouse with some black kitten heels my granny used to wear, glared at me tight lipped and I knew she was pissed, but I didn’t care. Her being pissed didn’t move me one way or another. I had bigger shit on my mind. Sweeping her hand across her forehead to move a strand of her matted, dusty weave from her face, she finally spoke after giving me the side eye.
“Kashae?” she questioned, looking from the paperwork, then to me.
All I did was nod and she spun around, walking swiftly down a hallway where there were numerous
waiting areas with bunches of people who were looking just like me.
Lost.
Broken.
Hurt.
Unlike those people, my ass didn’t have to be at this run-down ass, stinky ass health department, but there was no way I could have visited my regular doctor that I had been seeing since I was kid who knew my entire family. So, here I was at the Greenville County Health Department about thirty minutes from my hometown.
Finally stopping in front of one of the open door rooms, the lady slipped inside, moving out of the way to allow me in before she closed the door behind us. Once the door was shut, she sat down on the round, silver stool with a clipboard in her hands.
“Have a seat.” She gestured to one of the chairs next to the examination bed.
Sitting down, suddenly my body began to shake. It was cold, but my shaking wasn’t from the chilly health department room, but from the nervousness that swept through my body as I waited for what she had to say.
My results.
Faintly smiling, she flipped through the paperwork, before her eyes landed back on me.
“Ok, so you’re here because you said you missed a period and have been feeling nauseous, faint, and light headed.” She sighed.
Damn, just say it lady! I have already pissed in your cup and had my blood drawn. Now just tell me what it is! I wanted to scream, but instead, I nodded my head like a two-year-old that had been caught stealing candy. Ashamed was just one word to describe how I was feeling.
Guilty.
Yes, that was another word that consumed me. I was definitely guilty. Guilty of betraying someone I loved and cared about.
“Ok, well, Miss Howard, you are indeed pregnant.” She smiled.
She was smiling, but my ass was dying inside. It was like my soul had been snatched and I was headed to heaven or hell. Right now, either would suffice. Anywhere was better than being here.
As the word pregnant rolled from her lips, my life seemed to stop. My heartbeat sped up and my ass fell out of the chair and wept like this bitch said I had AIDS. She fell to my side, pulling me in trying her best to console me. She just didn’t know there was nothing she could say or do to make me feel better. Tears fell from my eyes like raging waters. My life was indeed over. My family was ruined.
“Honey, it’s not that bad. The paperwork says that you are twenty years old. I’ve seen babies come in here having babies. I’m sure your family will help you out. You seem like you might come from a good home.” She continued doing her best to encourage me, but I had completely zoned out. She caressed my shoulders and pulled me under her arm like a mother would.
My mother, oh my god, what will my mother think?
My father! Oh my god, he will disown me.
And my sister!
What have I done?
All I could do was cry. My head was pounding and my body was trembling like I was having a seizure.
Pulling away from our embrace, she reached over my shoulder to the desk that sat behind us and grabbed a tissue. Dabbing my face for me, I still cried as she did all she could to clean up my appearance.
“Listen, I have pamphlets for support groups for first-time mothers. I also have the name of a few places you can go to get treatment while you’re pregnant, and I also have a list of places you can go if you decide not to keep the baby. Now, we here don’t condone abortions, but it’s not our decision, so we will do all we can to help you make the best decision for you. We are here to help you.”
Help me? There wasn’t a damn thing anyone could do to help me at this point, but she did give me an idea.
Abortion.
Could I kill my baby? It’s my fault, not my unborn child’s, that I was reckless and selfish, but it would save a lot of heartbreak if I just got rid of it. Shit, my father would kill me if I had an abortion. He would probably kill me if he knew I was having sex. I was his baby girl. I could do no wrong in my father’s eyes.
Shit! Shit! Shit!
I had no choice. Abortion.
Yea, that’s it. I’ll just get rid of it and ask God to forgive me.
My chest heaved up and down and I could feel a panic attack coming on. I started having panic attacks a year ago when I was attacked and almost raped after a church function in the church parking lot.
Yea, I went to church. Not only did I go to church, but I was raised in that bitch. I know right! I had fucked up, and bad. Well, that’s not all. My father was a fuckin’ pastor of one of the largest damn churches in Knoxville, Tennessee. Now you see why this pregnant shit was a no go. This would certainly ruin my life and my family’s reputation. This baby had to go.
“Listen, take a breather, honey. Let me get you some water. You need to calm down; it’s not healthy for you or your unborn baby. I’ll give you a few minutes alone and then I’ll be back with your water and paperwork. Hopefully, you will feel better by then.” She stood, but I stayed put on the cold, hard, nasty tile floor with my knees tucked to my chest and under my chin.
This lady could stay gone as long as she wanted to with her water, pamphlets, or whatever else she had to offer because no matter when she returned, my problems weren’t leaving.
I was pregnant with my sister’s husband’s baby, and no support group or pamphlets would help me with that.
How It All Began…
Three Months Earlier….
Kashae
“Take care of our baby, Karmen,” my father spoke firmly to my sister as he hugged me for the millionth time as he and my mother were headed to Knoxville, Tennessee where he would become the leading pastor of Upper Shady Baptist Church.
I know right. That shit sounded crazy as hell. I had no idea why anyone would name their damn church shady, but anyway. My father’s long-time friend died and in his will it stated he was leaving his church to my father. The only thing about it was the church was about three hours from where we currently lived in Spartanburg, South Carolina.
See, my father was already a pastor, but his congregation was small. Maybe a hundred and fifty people attended at the most, but now he was heading off to lead a congregation of about a thousand. He saw it as a blessing and if it’s what he wanted, then that’s what I wanted for him. All in all, he was a good man, but like everyone else, he had his ways. He was deeply religious. I mean that insane religious type. I respected him, but some of the things he required were just downright ridiculous.
For instance, I couldn’t be with the opposite sex alone. Yea, even at twenty, he still expected me to be chaperoned on dates. There was no showing of affection, not even kissing on the cheek if it was from the opposite sex, unless it was him, of course. I had to attend every bible study and Sunday service. My dresses or shorts all had to be knee length, only a small amount of makeup was permitted, if any at all, and the list of bullshit could go on and on, but you get my drift.
So, when they suggested that I live with my sister and her husband Adonis, who we all called Don, I was all for it. My intent was to never be fast or no shit like that, but damn, I did want to live a little and actually look and dress like a twenty-year-old.
When I was roughed up and almost raped by some low-life boys one night a year or so ago, it messed me up in the head pretty bad. It had me questioning everything. I questioned God and how he could allow something like this to happen to me. I questioned myself and how I could barely fight back when they tried to take my most prized possession, and I questioned my sister as to why she would send me to her car that time of the night by myself to get her cell phone that she had left behind. My life was in shambles, so when they suggested I move in with my sister Karmen and her husband Don, I was all for it, especially since that meant I could keep my therapist and at the same time I could find out what this world that I was shielded from had to offer.
“Oh Daddy, she will be just fine. She’s a grown up now.” Karmen rolled her eyes in our direction.
My sister loved me, without a doubt I knew that, but I think in a small sense she despised me too. I
was Daddy’s heart and she knew it. Don’t get me wrong, my father would lay his life down for both of us, but he and I had always just clicked. I couldn’t explain it. I was his favorite and Karmen was our mother’s favorite. Did I care? Of course not, because in the end I knew my mother would do anything for me.
“She is grown in age, but she will always be my baby.” He kissed the top of my head.
“Let’s go Harvey.” My mother hugged my sister once more before making her way to where my father and I stood in an embrace.
“Give your mother a hug, baby, so we can get out of here. I’m going to miss you honey.” She wrapped her arms around me, gently squeezing.
My mother and I had never been close, but we got along. I would for sure miss her and her good cooking. She had so much to offer, but she always just did as my father told her to. Maybe that’s why we weren’t as close as I would like for us to be. I always viewed my mother as weak. She had the potential to open up her own bakery or alteration shop. People told her that all the time, but all she did was smile and brush it off. Her main goal in life seemed to be running behind my father like a little puppy, waiting for her master to tell her what to do next. I hated feeling like that about her, but it was the truth.
