A Hat Full of Sky

by Terry Pratchett

Page 6

 

  Well . . . if its the one on top of your neck, said Tiffany cautiously, still thinking about the other nose, youve still got it. The old suitcase was roped to the bristle end of the broomstick, which now floated calmly a few feet above the ground. There, thatll make a nice comfy seat, said Miss Level, now the bag of nerves that most people turned into when they felt Tiffany staring at them. If youd just hang on behind me. Er. Thats what I normally do.

  You normally hang on behind you? said Tiffany. How can-? "Tiffany, Ive always encouraged your forthright way of asking questions, said Miss Tick loudly. And now, please, I would love to congratulate you on your mastery of silence! Do climb on behind Miss Level, Im sure shell want to leave while youve still got some daylight. The stick bobbed a little as Miss Level climbed onto it. She patted it, invitingly. Youre not frightened of heights, are you, dear? she said as Tiffany climbed on. No, said Tiffany. I shall drop in when I come up for the Witch Trials, said Miss Tick as Tiffany felt the stick rise gently under her. Take care! It turned out that when Miss Level had asked Tiffany if she was scared of heights, it had been the wrong question. Tiffany was not afraid of heights at all. She could walk past tall trees without batting an eyelid. Looking up at huge towering mountains didnt bother her a bit. What she was afraid of, although she hadnt realized it up until this point, was depths. She was afraid of dropping such a long way out of the sky that shed have time to run out of breath screaming before hitting the rocks so hard that shed turn to a sort of jelly and all her bones would break into dust. She was, in fact, afraid of the ground. Miss Level should have thought before asking the question. Tiffany clung to Miss Levels belt and stared at the cloth of her dress. Have you ever flown before, Tiffany? asked the witch as they rose.

  Gnf! squeaked Tiffany. If you like, I could take us round in a little circle, said Miss Level. We should have a fine view of your country from up here. The air was rushing past Tiffany now. It was a lot colder. She kept her eyes fixed firmly on the cloth. Would you like that? said Miss Level, raising her voice as the wind grew louder. It wont take a moment! Tiffany didnt have time to say no, and in any case was sure shed be sick if she opened her mouth. The stick lurched under her and the world went sideways. She didnt want to look, but remembered that a witch is always inquisitive to the point of nosiness. To stay a witch, she had to look. She risked a glance and saw the world under her. The red-gold light of sunset was flowing across the land, and down there were the long shadows of Twoshirts and, further away, the woods and villages all the way back to the long curved hill of the Chalk - - which glowed red, and the white carving of the chalk Horse burned gold like some giants pendant. Tiffany stared at it; in the fading light of the afternoon, with the shadows racing away from the sliding sun, it looked alive. At that moment she wanted to jump off, fly back, get there by closing her eyes and clicking her heels together, do anything- No! She d bundled those thoughts away, hadn t she? She had to learn, and there was no one on the hills to teach her! But the Chalk was her world. She walked on it every day. She could feel its ancient life under her feet. The land was in her bones, just as Granny Aching had said. It was in her name, too; in the old language of the Nac Mac Feegle her name sounded like Land Under Wave, and in the eye of her mind she d walked in those deep prehistoric seas when the Chalk had been formed, in a million-year rain made of the shells of tiny creatures. She trod a land made of life, and breathed it in, and listened to it, and thought its thoughts for it. To see it now, small, alone, in a landscape that stretched to the end of the world, was too much. She had to go back to it- For a moment the stick wobbled in the air. No! I know I must go! It jerked back, and there was a sickening feeling in her stomach as the stick curved away towards the mountains. A little bit of turbulence there, I think, said Miss Level over her shoulder. By the way, did Miss Tick warn you about the thick woolly pants, dear? Tiffany, still shocked, mumbled something which managed to sound like no. Miss Tick had mentioned the pants, and how a sensible witch wore at least three pairs to stop ice forming, but she had forgotten about them. Oh dear, said Miss Level. Then wed better hedge-hop. The stick dropped like a stone. Tiffany never forgot that ride, though she often tried to. They flew just above the ground, which was the blur just below her feet. Every time they came to a fence or a hedge Miss Level would jump it with a cry of Here we go! or Upsadaisy! which was probably meant to make Tiffany feel better. It didnt. She threw up twice. Miss Level flew with her head bent so far down as to be almost level with the stick,

  thus getting the maximum aerodynamic advantage from the pointy hat. It was quite a stubby one, only about nine inches high, rather like a clown hat without the bobbles; Tiffany found out later that this was so that she didnt have to take it off when entering low-ceilinged cottages. After a while - an eternity from Tiffanys point of view - they left the farmlands behind and started to fly through foothills. Before long theyd left trees behind, too, and the stick was flying above the fast white waters of a wide river, studded with boulders. Spray splashed over their boots. She heard Miss Level yell above the roar of the river and the rush of the wind: Would you mind leaning back? This bits a little tricky! Tiffany risked peeking over the witchs shoulder, and gasped. There was not much water on the Chalk, except for the little streams that people called bournes, which flowed down the valleys in late winter and dried up completely in the summer. Big rivers flowed around it, of course, but they were slow and tame. The water ahead wasnt slow and tame. It was vertical. The river ran up into the dark blue sky, soared up to the early stars. The broom followed it. Tiffany leaned back and screamed, and went on screaming as the broomstick tilted in the air and climbed up the waterfall. Shed known the word, certainly, but the word hadnt been so big, so wet, and above all it hadnt been so loud. The mist of it drenched her. The noise pounded on her ears. She held onto Miss Levels belt as they climbed through spray and thunder and felt that shed slip at any minute - - and then she was thrown forward, and the noise of the fall died away behind her as the stick, now once again going along rather than up, sped across the surface of a river that, while still leaping and foaming, at least had the decency to do it on the ground. There was a bridge high above, and walls of cold rock hemmed in the river on either side, but the walls got lower and the river got slower and the air got warmer again until the broomstick skimmed across calm flat water that probably didnt know what was going to happen to it. Silver fish zigzagged away as they passed over the surface. After a while Miss Tick sent them curving up across new fields, smaller and greener than the ones at home. There were trees again, and little woods in deep valleys. But the last of the sunlight was draining away and, soon, all there was below was darkness. Tiffany must have dozed off, clinging onto Miss Level, because she felt herself jerk awake as the broomstick stopped in mid-air. The ground was some way below, but someone had set out a ring of what turned out to be candle ends, burning in old jars. Delicately, turning slowly, the stick settled down until it stopped just above the grass. At this point Tiffanys legs decided to untwist, and she fell off. Up we get! said Miss Level cheerfully, picking her up. You did very well!

  Sorry about screaming and being sick . . . Tiffany mumbled, tripping over one of the jars and knocking the candle out. She tried to make out anything in the dark, but her head was spinning. Who lit candles, Miss Level?

  I did. Lets get inside, its getting chilly- Miss Level began. Oh, by magic, said Tiffany, still dizzy. Well, it can be done by magic, yes, said Miss Level. But I prefer matches, which are of course a lot less effort and quite magical in themselves, when you come to think about it. She untied the suitcase from the stick and said: Here we are, then! I do hope youll like it here! There was that cheerfulness again. Even when she felt sick and dizzy, and quite interested in knowing where the privy was as soon as possible, Tiffany still had ears that worked and a mind that, however much she tried, wouldnt stop thinking. And it thought: That cheerfulness has got cracks around the edges. Something isnt right here . . . Chapter 3 Latry The
re was a cottage, but Tiffany couldnt see much in the gloom. Apple trees crowded in around it. Something hanging from a branch brushed against her as, walking unsteadily, she followed Miss Level. It swung away with a tinkling sound. There was the sound of rushing water, too, some way away. Miss Level was opening a door. It led into a small, brightly lit and amazingly tidy kitchen. A fire was burning briskly in the iron stove. Urn . . . Im supposed to be the apprentice, said Tiffany, still groggy from the flight. Ill make something to drink if you show me where things are-

  No! Miss Level burst out, raising her hands. The shout seemed to have shocked her, because she was shaking when she lowered them. No -1 -1 wouldnt dream of it, she said in a more normal voice, trying to smile. Youve had a long day. Ill show you to your room and where things are, and Ill bring you up some stew, and you can be an apprentice tomorrow. No rush. Tiffany looked at the bubbling pot on the iron stove, and the loaf on the table. It was fresh baked bread, she could smell that. The trouble with Tiffany was her Third Thoughts. [First Thoughts are the everyday thoughts. Everyone has those. Second Thoughts are the thoughts you think about the way you think. People who enjoy thinking have those. Third Thoughts are thoughts that watch the world and think all by themselves. Theyre rare, and often troublesome. Listening to them is part of witchcraft. ] They thought: She lives by herself. Who lit the fire? A bubbling pot needs stirring from time to time. Who stirred it? And someone lit the candles. Who? Is there anyone else staying here, Miss Level? she said. Miss Level looked desperately at the pot and the loaf and back to Tiffany. No, theres only me, she said, and somehow Tiffany knew she was telling the truth. Or a truth, anyway. In the morning? said Miss Level, almost pleading. She looked so forlorn that Tiffany actually felt sorry for her. She smiled. Of course, Miss Level, she said. There was a brief tour by candlelight. There was a privy not far from the cottage; it

  was a two-holer, which Tiffany thought was a bit odd but, of course, maybe other people had lived here once. There was also a room just for a bath, a terrible waste of space by the standards of Home Farm. It had its own pump and a big boiler for heating the water. This was definitely posh. Her bedroom was a . . . nice room. Nice was a very good word. Everything had frills. Anything that could have a cover on it was covered. Some attempt had been made to make the room. . . jolly, as if being a bedroom was a jolly wonderful thing to be. Tiffanys room back on the farm had a rag rug on the floor, a water jug and basin on a stand, a big wooden box for clothes, an ancient dolls house and some old calico curtains and that was pretty much it. On the farm, bedrooms were for shutting your eyes in. This room had a chest of drawers. The contents of Tiffanys suitcase filled one drawer easily. The bed made no sound when Tiffany sat on it. Her old bed had a mattress so old that it had a comfy hollow in it, and the springs all made different noises; if she couldnt sleep she could move various parts of her body and play The Bells of St Ungulants on the springs - cling twing glong, gling ping bloyinnng, dlink plang dyonnng, ding ploink. This room smelled different, too. It smelled of spare rooms, and other peoples soap. At the bottom of her suitcase was a small box that Mr Block the farms carpenter had made for her. He did not go in for delicate work, and it was quite heavy. In it, she kept. . . keepsakes. There was a piece of chalk with a fossil in it, which was quite rare, and her personal butter stamp (which showed a witch on a broomstick) in case she got a chance to make butter here, and a dobby stone, which was supposed to be lucky because it had a hole in it. (Shed been told that when she was seven, and had picked it up. She couldnt quite see how the hole made it lucky, but since it had spent a lot of time in her pocket, and then safe and sound in the box, it probably was more fortunate than most stones, which got kicked around and run over by carts and so on. ) There was also a blue-and-yellow wrapper from an old packet of Jolly Sailor tobacco, and a buzzard feather, and an ancient flint arrowhead wrapped up carefully in a piece of sheeps wool. There were plenty of these on the Chalk. The Nac Mac Feegle used them for spear points. She lined these up neatly on the top of the chest of drawers, alongside her diary, but they didnt make the place look more homely. They just looked lonely. Tiffany picked up the old wrapper and the sheeps wool and sniffed them. They werent quite the smell of the shepherding hut, but they were close enough to it to bring tears to her eyes. She had never spent a night away from the Chalk before. She knew the word homesickness and wondered whether this cold, thin feeling growing inside her was what it felt like- Someone knocked at the door. Its me, said a muffled voice. Tiffany jumped off the bed and opened the door.