Complete Indelible Love Series

by Cee, DW

  “So, Jake, anything else you want to tell me about Emily?”

  “Let me excuse myself to the ladies’ room and you two can talk about me all you like. It’s a bit embarrassing hearing about myself.”

  I walked to the ladies’ room, leaving the Reid siblings to talk. Jake and Jane had given me a true taste of family, something that disappeared too early in my life. It was altogether sweet, sour, salty, and a bit bitter at times, but most of all, it had the wonderful flavor of love. This is what I’d missed out on being an only child with parents up in heaven. I was glad to have witnessed a small part of their family.

  On my way back, seeing that the Reid siblings hadn’t finished their conversation, my pace slowed, allowing Jake to finish. What I’d overheard added another cup to my already overflowing feelings for him.

  “And…I love her strength. I’ve never met any girl who is such a survivor. She’s pretty much been alone since high school, put herself through college, and then bought and created a home all by herself. She’s worked for everything she has. Nothing has been handed to her. Yet she smiles and enjoys life. Her attitude is amazing. But, as strong as she appears, she’s terribly tenderhearted. I think this is what makes me so enamored with her. She hurts easily, cries readily, but loves deeply. She makes me want to care for her and shelter her from anything that may harm her. I’ve never felt such a strong desire to protect someone as I do for Emily.”

  As I walked back to my seat, happiness swelled in my heart till it felt like a balloon about to burst. Jake had summed up Emily Logan better than I could have. As happy as I was, there was this nagging insecurity. Could such a perfect man exist in my world? I feared answering this question.

  We got back to the apartment around midnight and Jane excused herself to answer a phone call. Here it was, the conversation I dreaded.

  “So…” Jake started very casually, “where will you be sleeping tonight?”

  I cringed at the thought of having to explain myself to him. I waited for him to finish before going into my tedious explanation.

  “Door number one is my room, door number two is Jane’s room, or you can sleep alone behind door number three.” He pointed to each room with a hopeful and expectant look.

  There was an awkward silence.

  “Jake…I need to tell you something.” I dragged his name a bit but quickly let out the next group of words.

  “Uh-oh, did I say something wrong?”

  “No, I guess it’s time to confess since we’re at this juncture. Maybe I should have told you before accepting your ring. You might have had second thoughts about wanting me as your girlfriend.”

  Jake looked mildly horrified. “You’re making me nervous; what’s wrong?”

  This conversation wasn’t nearly as difficult to have the first time with Max at age eighteen but now, I sounded so archaic telling my thirty-year-old boyfriend that I wanted to stay a virgin.

  “Nothing is wrong. I should have told you this earlier. I want you to know that I’ve never, um…” There was no reason to be, but I was embarrassed.

  “Well…I’ve never slept with a man before. You are literally the first man I fell asleep with earlier today, though nothing happened. I’m not planning on being with you or any man till I get married.” Incredibly nervous, I found my hands tightly clutching my borrowed robe unable to look at Jake till I finished confessing.

  Relief, confusion, happiness, and chagrin all flashed across Jake’s face and in that order. “You mean you and Max have never…?”

  “No, we’ve never been together in that sense.”

  “But how? You dated for four years.”

  “It was hard but I really wanted to save myself for whomever I might end up marrying. My mom was old fashioned, and she wanted me to wait till I got married. This was a promise I made to her before she died, and I’d like to honor her wishes. Also, watching my parents love each other, I thought it would be most special with the man I’d spend the rest of my life with.”

  “What if that man isn’t as pure as you are?” He looked worried again.

  I chuckled, realizing he obviously didn’t believe what I believed. “That’s all right. It would be most perfect if we were each other’s first, but I can’t expect everyone to have the same beliefs. Are you OK with my confession? I’m sorry I didn’t bring it up earlier. I didn’t quite know how to approach this subject. Are you upset?” My head fell back down worried what Jake might think.

  “Disappointed, yes; upset, no. I guess this happily speeds up our timetable.” Oddly, amusement mirrored his disappointment.

  “What does that mean?”

  “Oh, that’s for me to know and for you to soon find out.”

  I could hear a quiet sigh as he held me in his arms till Jane walked back into the living room. He gently kissed my lips and I followed Jane to her room.

  “Emily,” Jane carefully called my name. “You don’t have to sleep in my room on my account. You can be with Jake if you like.”

  “Jane, I want to be here with you if you’re OK with it.”

  “I’d love it but is Jake OK with this?”

  “I didn’t give him a choice.” I giggled. After all was said and done, Jake accepted my revelation without much of a fight. Maybe the physical part of our relationship wouldn’t be too much of a struggle—or maybe this was wishful thinking.

  “Where shall I sleep?” Jane’s room had two twin bunks, reminding me of the summer camp I’d visited back in sixth grade.

  “I sleep here on this bottom bunk. Why don’t you take the other bottom bunk?”

  “Why are there so many beds in here?”

  Jane’s pretty face broke into a laugh. “There was a time in undergrad when we had so much rain, our sorority house got flooded. My room, endearingly called, ‘the jungle,’ had twelve girls and twelve beds. When we were all displaced, we brought as many beds into this apartment as possible, and we all lived here for a month until the house got fixed. The other two rooms got rid of the bunk beds, but I kept my room the same. I guess you could call it nostalgia. I feel like I’m back in college whenever I sleep in here.”

  “How fun! Maybe I should have rushed as a freshman. It would have been the perfect solution to not having any siblings.”

  “So…” Jane had a devilish look about her.

  “Yes..?” Fearful—I was definitely fearful of what was coming next.

  “Are we good enough friends for me to ask why you are sleeping here rather than with my brother? I promise, he has a very large bed in his room. You’ll be more comfortable there than in here.”

  “Oh…that. Though she didn’t know what she was doing to me at the time, my mom made me promise her—right before she died—that I would stay a virgin maid till I got married. I think she just said that hoping to push off the inevitable for as long as possible, but since that was one of my last promises to her, I feel like I have to keep it.”

  “Oh. My. Gosh! Seriously? This is so hilarious that Jake has to wait till you guys get married to sleep with you. I bet you he’s out there running miles on the treadmill to work off his suppressed expectations or he’s scheming to see how he can work around your vow.”

  “He seemed to take it OK when I told him tonight.”

  The laughter that ensued could be heard all the way to AT&T Park. Perhaps I was a bit hasty in thinking that Jake would be OK with my chastity agreement.

  “Oh, this is his comeuppance!” Jane brushed away the natural tears that came from her guffaw. “He always thought he could get whatever girl he wanted and unfortunately, that was the case. I don’t know of too many women who have refused my brother anything…till now. He’s finally found the girl and she won’t play to his tune. Oh, I love it!”

  Jane’s rambling roused out of me a new set of insecurities. “Has he been with a lot of women? Kelley was the only girl I heard about but…I guess it’s silly of me to think that with his looks and at his age that there were
n’t many more…”

  Jealousy, along with sadness, speared through my heart knowing that there had been copious girls who had been a part of Jake’s life. Jane quickly defended her brother and tried to turn me around.

  “No, no! Don’t get the wrong idea, Emily. Yes, there have been other women, but I promise you this—there has never been a girl like you.”

  I must not have look convinced.

  “Life has always been easy for my brother. He’s smart, good looking, charming, and fairly wealthy. He’s never had to work very hard for anything—especially women. But, seeing him with you this weekend, and without you Thanksgiving weekend, made me do a double take. Regardless of what he’s told you, from what my mom and I can tell, he is madly in love with you. We’ve never seen him so anxious about pleasing a girl.”

  Her comment brought forth a weak smile.

  “I see you’re wearing the ring. Did you know he bought it after just one date with you?”

  I nodded yes. “He told me today.”

  “Did you also know that he was miserable the whole week you and Sarah were gone to New York? He looked like a lost puppy. Every member of the Reid family teased him mercilessly during Thanksgiving dinner. Uncle Henry says he’s ‘whipped’!”

  “Jane, you don’t have to say anymore. I understand what you’re trying to do. It’s not so much Jake that worries me. It’s more me. He’s so perfect. This whole weekend is like a scene out of a movie—it can’t be real in my life. My life hasn’t been easy since middle school and I don’t want to start believing it’s changed for this much the better.”

  Before she could rebut my statement, I gave Jane the long version of my life and told her about all my insecurities. Deep into the night we spoke about my fears. Jane listened like a sibling and encouraged and admonished all in appropriate ways. Similar to the comfort I found in Jake, his sister was no different. I could picture us being fast friends and sisters.

  We talked into the wee hours of the morning, but I still found myself awake before the sun was up. The light outside encouraged me to get up, brush my teeth, put on Jane’s borrowed clothes, and step into the living room. Surprisingly Jake was up already, reading the paper.

  “Good morning,” I whispered.

  “Good morning, Beautiful. Why are you up so early?”

  “I can’t ever sleep well outside of my own bed. Are you going somewhere? Why are you dressed like Lance Armstrong?”

  “I thought I’d go cycling this morning to release some of this pent-up energy.”

  Good thing he kept his head in the newspaper. My lips tightly held together to keep from laughing. Jake apparently hadn’t taken the news as well as I thought he had.

  “You want to ride with me?” As much as I didn’t want to, I thought it would be better for the relationship if I went with him.

  “I don’t have any clothes. Plus, where are we getting bikes at this hour?”

  “All the bikes are downstairs in storage and Jane has plenty of clothes for you to borrow. She used to cycle in undergrad.” He walked into Jane’s room and blinded her by turning on the light. “Jane, where do you keep your cycling clothes?”

  Extremely annoyed, she yelled at her brother. “What is your problem? It’s still dark out. Why do you need my cycling clothes?”

  “Emi and I are going out for a ride.”

  “Jake…we got to bed a few hours ago. Leave Emily alone. She and I are both tired.”

  “Just answer my question.”

  Jake kept the light on till he found what he was looking for and handed me clothes and shoes to change into. Not having done this since grammar school, I worried about the challenge of riding a bike in this hilly city. Plus, the professional gear looked ridiculous on me.

  “Where are we going?”

  “Let’s go get breakfast. There’s nothing to eat here,” he answered, handing me Jane’s bike and helmet. “You do know how to ride a bike?”

  “Yes, but I’m no professional. It’s been awhile since I’ve been on one of these.” Hesitation marred my face.

  “You’ll be fine. What do you want to eat?”

  “How about a greasy donut or an almond croissant and a latte? Even after two huge meals yesterday, I’m starving.”

  “I know just the place. Let’s go.” He led me out of the Embarcadero and headed south.

  “Wait! You’re not thinking of riding all the way into the Mission District, are you?” I asked warily.

  “Yup. You know this town better than I thought.”

  “Yeah, I’ve been around the block a few times in this city.”

  “Apparently you don’t go all the way around the block in any city,” he answered sarcastically and rode away.

  I cracked up laughing. “Wait for me…”

  The ride to breakfast wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be. The donut shop smelled heavenly. With so many choices, I asked Jake to buy one of every donut and took a bite of every flavor. I couldn’t get enough of the banana de leche and lemon pistachio. Jake favored the maple-glazed bacon apple. I wasn’t crazy about the sweet and savory combo of his choice. We took the leftovers for Jane and went to our next destination.

  My favorite bakery in the Mission District was located many, many blocks from the donut shop. Once here, there were too many choices, so little room in the stomach—as this was always my dilemma.

  “Do I need to buy one of everything here too?” he asked in a sour tone. He was still sore about last night.

  “Jake…are you going to be upset with me every time we’re in an overnight situation?”

  “If I say yes, will you do something about it?”

  “Yup, I will.”

  “You will?” Jake’s eyes twinkled again. I so didn’t want to crush this glow.

  “I’m going to have to make sure we are not in this situation ever again. You’ll have to apologize to your parents for me and tell them I can’t go to Hawaii with you.”

  If Jake was sore earlier, he was completely pouting now. “Emily!” He dragged my name in frustration.

  I put both my hands on his cheeks and kissed his puckered lips. “Will you be OK with Hawaii or should I stay home?” Jake knew he’d lost this round.

  He tried to shake my hands loose but instead, I grabbed him and kissed him longingly in front of a long line of strangers. This did the trick. His dimpled smile reappeared. “Jane was wrong about you,” I told him. “I find you adorable when you’re mad.” I kissed him one more time.

  A second breakfast of almond croissants, bread pudding, an utterly tantalizing open-faced sandwich with béchamel, gruyere, ham, and grilled asparagus, and a last bite of coconut crème tart gave both of us the surge of energy needed for the excruciating ride back home. Jake mapped out a long route from the bakery to Dolores Park, up to the War Memorial Opera House, then back to the apartment. I guess I should have been thankful that he didn’t choose to take me up and down Lombard “Crooked” Street. While my boyfriend rode with vigor, my sloshy stomach struggled the last mile home. A few times, the contents of my stomach slithered its way up, but in the end, they decided to stay put. Finally back at home, we put our bikes away and walked across the street to the Ferry building. To my chagrin, the farmers’ market didn’t open on Sundays, so I followed Jake into the myriad of shops instead.

  Jake started at a cook shop and purchased an all-inclusive picnic basket.

  “Where are we going with this basket?” What fun we would have today!

  “Maybe you are not a part of the we. Didn’t you prefer Jane’s company last night? I’m taking someone else on a picnic today.” He smirked as I pouted. This had gone far enough. I turned the table on him and followed him around the marketplace but stopped talking.

  He walked into a French-looking pastry shop, and bought two of every flavor of their Parisian macarons. How did he know macarons were my favorite dessert? We walked into the cheese shop for cheese, wine, and crackers; the salume
ria for all things salty and pig; an oyster shop for clam chowder, mignonette, and hot sauce. He also bought caviar, foie gras pate, and we stood in the longest line I’d ever witnessed for coffee. I didn’t realize we were hosting a party today with all this food. What looked like a haphazard shopping trip translated into a wonderful picnic lunch. With a satisfied look, he led me back to the apartment, not noticing that I hadn’t said a word the entire time. How was I going to stay mad when he picked out only my favorites? His attentiveness might have saved him this time.

  When we got back, Jane was grazing on everything we had brought back from our bike ride.

  “Why did you guys ride this far? You could’ve just gone across the street.”

  “I don’t know. Ask your brother.” I pretended to sound angry and headed into Jane’s room to take a shower.

  Jake ran in behind me as I struggled to curb my giggle. He grabbed my hand and stopped me right before I shut the bathroom door on him. I tried my best to put on an angry face.

  “Emily…” He dragged my name again. “Are you mad?”

  “Yes.”

  “Sweetheart, I’m sorry.” He tried to kiss me, but I purposely moved away and startled him. He never liked it when I turned away his embrace.

  “Jake,” I paused momentarily to swallow the guffaw that screamed to be let out. “I can’t be in this relationship with you if you continue to stay angry at me for not having sex with you. Here, let me give you back this ring.” I fumbled at the necklace, hoping that he would stop me before I unclasped it.

  Locking my hands behind my back, he brought his lips hard on mine and left me gasping for air. If he knew only in the slightest how much I wanted him, there would be no apology necessary.

  “OK, I’m sorry. I won’t be upset anymore.” His lips came down on mine a few more times. “But I’m still going to try to get you in bed every chance I get.”

  “I’d be worried if you didn’t.”

  Jake was finishing our basket when I came out ready for the rest of our day.