Complete Indelible Love Series

by Cee, DW

  “What’s your favorite fish, Laney? I don’t eat anything raw. I think I’ll stick to the rolls.” I should have paid more attention to my date, but as I savored my piece of live shrimp, I couldn’t help longing for Donovan to feed me my next piece of sushi.

  January 12, 2013 Really? Jane Is Who You Want?

  Stopping by Emily’s today was probably the single worse decision I’ve made this year—though I know it’s only twelve days into the new year. What I heard pissed me off, made me sad, and made me even more resolute that I would forget Donovan Taylor, again.

  “I’m so glad you’re here, Max.”

  “Where’s the fire, Emily? What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t mean to scare you, but I think you should go up to San Francisco right now and see Jane this weekend.”

  “Em, I’m in the middle of exams. I haven’t slept much all week, and I have one more to go. I can’t go see Jane—no matter how much I’d like to be with her.”

  “But you don’t understand.” Emily sounded a bit frantic. “Gram called and told me she was seeing Jane at a ball tonight, and Jane is going with Donovan.”

  Donovan and Jane?

  Max looked disgruntled and a bit sad. I was sad for him. He was such a great guy who adored my cousin. Why would she look anywhere but at him? And what the hell was wrong with Donovan? Why would he look at a woman who already had a boyfriend? I didn’t know what bothered me more—the fact that he had no scruples, or the fact that he preferred my cousin over me. UGH!

  “I trust Jane. I know we’ve only been back together a month, but I don’t think Donovan poses any threat.”

  “Please go,” Emily pleaded again. “I know Jane will stay faithful to you and your relationship, but she’s going to a Regency ball and she may get swept away by the whole mystique of the night and romanticize Donovan as her true love. She loves this era and the ambiance of the ball will be her perfect romance novel. You have to walk into that ball, be her knight in shining armor and end up the hero in this story.”

  “Em...”

  “Please Max. Just do this for Jane. She’ll love seeing you when your name is called out. And you’ll enjoy your time with her. It’ll be a great respite from exams.” She handed him a printout and started pushing him out the door. “This is the plane ticket. The name and address of the place where you’ll rent your clothes has been emailed to you, along with the Regency romance glossary.”

  “Is this truly necessary? Are you that worried about Jane?”

  “Yes and no. I know Jane’s in love with you, but I think you need to be up in San Francisco as soon as possible. Just do as I say and don’t forget to read over the glossary or you’ll be completely lost at the ball. Have a great time.” Emily literally pushed him out the door.

  “Do you believe something will happen between Jane and Donovan?” I asked when I knew the coast was clear.

  “No. I don’t. Max and Jane love each other and they’ll be fine.”

  “Do you think Donovan is in love with Jane?” It broke my heart to ask this question and Emily somehow knew it broke my heart.

  She gave me a tentative smile. “I can’t answer for Donovan, but I can tell you that I don’t think Donovan and Jane are meant to be. They have been good friends for a long time and sometimes you can mistake friendship for something more. Is there a reason why you’re asking me this question?”

  It wasn’t that I didn’t feel comfortable enough with Emily to tell her about my once-feelings for Donovan. It was the fact that I felt like a loser for having crushed on him for so long. Today was not the day for confessions.

  “Nope,” was my final answer.

  January 24, 2013 A Night with Mr. Taylor

  Jake and Emily are the ideal couple. They not only are beautiful as man and wife, but add the twins to their portrait and it doesn’t get any better. I was always happy to help them whenever they needed a night out because Emily, of all people, deserved some time away from the babies.

  “The twins are sleeping, already?” I was truly disappointed that I wouldn’t get to play with the babies. Though they were a lot of work, I enjoyed those two so much. It was almost like practice before I got married and had babies of my own. Bummer!

  “Laney, you mean to tell me you actually prefer the kids to be up when you babysit?” Jake asked this ridiculous question.

  “Of course! You know how much I’m in love with your babies. I can’t wait to have kids of my own. I need all the practice I can get with your two. I know most people gravitate toward Ellie, but I have to say, James has an extra special place in my heart.”

  “And I think James feels the same way about you, Laney. His whole demeanor lights up when you enter the room. Why I think he’s almost as happy to see you as he is to see me,” Emily kidded.

  “I highly doubt that. Everyone lights up when you enter the room, my love.” Jake, the epitome of a perfect husband, never ceased to amaze me with his love for his wife. “Laney, you said you needed some help with statistics?”

  “Yeah. I don’t seem to have a head for numbers. I have an exam tomorrow and I’m so lost. Can you help me a little before you leave?”

  “Bring it out. Let’s see what you have.”

  Jake was kind enough to unravel the mysteries of statistics when a beautiful surprise walked into the kitchen.

  “Look who’s here...” Emily said with a big grin on her face.

  “Hey. What brings you to our neck of the woods?” Jake said while shaking his best friend’s hand.

  “The office needed to get Roland’s signature on a few documents so I volunteered. I figured I could bum off dinner from Emily while I was at it. It’s been a while since I’ve had her culinary delights.”

  “Sorry to disappoint you, Man. We’re going out tonight. That’s why we have Laney here.”

  “Hello, Delaney!” He flashed his brilliant smile.

  “Hello, Mr. Taylor.” I nodded as nonchalantly as possible.

  “Mr. Taylor? What’s with the Mr., Laney? He sounds ancient. And if Donovan sounds ancient, so do I. You know we’re the same age?”

  “Jake, you’re not old. I just call him that because...I don’t know...it’s just because I’m not on friendly terms with him...” I sounded totally lame!

  “What do you mean not on friendly terms? Don’t you remember I saved your life at the swimming pool that one summer?” Donovan flashed his brilliance again. “Remember, Jake threw that volleyball at your head and knocked you out? Who pulled you out of the pool before you drowned, and saved your life?” He and Jake started laughing.

  “It wasn’t that dramatic. It wasn’t as though I was drowning. I just had a bump on the head.”

  “Whatever! You need to be grateful to me because you might not be here if not for me.”

  “Donovan, could you help Laney with her statistics test and keep her company during dinner? I have food made ready to be heated. Or, you can always order take-out.” Emily and Jake got up to go out. “We have to meet Jane and Max in half an hour.”

  “Jane and Max?” Donovan had a weird expression on his face. It was a bitter, somewhat unhappy expression.

  “Things didn’t go as planned up north?” Jake laughed. “I gave you my opinion already. You’re barking up the wrong tree. Focus your energy elsewhere.” What did that mean? Was Donovan interested in Jane?

  “Whatever...just leave. I’ll help Delaney with her stats test and be the guardian of our godchildren until you get back. I was the fool for giving up a tasting menu at Spago tonight and for wanting to dine with my best friend and his wife. Not exactly the fun night I’d imagined.”

  I know Donovan didn’t say this to hurt me, but...it hurt...way more than it should have. No one asked him to stay here with me. I’ve never needed his help babysitting, and no one invited him to have dinner with me. He made me feel like a little child who needed help with her homework.

  “Bye, Laney. Thank you for watching the kids
tonight.” Emily whispered and kissed me on the cheek.

  I waved good-bye.

  “Mr. Taylor, you don’t have to stay here with me. I’m used to watching the kids by myself, and Jake helped me with my stats test already, so please don’t let me or the kids keep you from dining with your friends.” I couldn’t look at him while saying this. Like a fool, I felt my heart break. It was more than ten years ago when I fell “in love” with him and asked him to marry me. He had no idea what he meant to me. But it was time to let him go, again.

  “Delaney...” he pulled me toward him and he kind of rubbed my head like I was some five year old. “I only said that to make Jake feel guilty. I didn’t mean any offense. Let’s order dinner. I’m starved. Where are the menus?”

  I just stared at him.

  “Did anyone tell you, you look like a doll?”

  “Um, yes...Jane tells me that all the time.”

  “Well, Jane is correct. Especially when you stare at me with those big blue eyes of yours, I feel like I’m looking at one of those American Baby dolls.”

  “You mean American Girl dolls?”

  “Yeah, American Baby, American Girl...whatever.”

  “Thank you, I guess?” I took out the menus from one of the kitchen drawers and handed it to Donovan.

  “What do you mean, I guess? Those dolls are adorable.”

  “I think those dolls look like the girls from Poltergeist. I guess I could audition for a horror film.”

  Donovan almost fell off the stool, laughing. “You could not audition for a horror film and how do you know Poltergeist?”

  “I’ve watched it.”

  “You like horror films? I would have never pegged you for a girl who likes scary movies. You look like you’d like Disney movies.”

  I stopped what I was doing and gave him my nastiest look. Of course I did like Disney films, but he didn’t need make fun of my movie choices.

  “You don’t scare me with your attempt at an ugly look. You wanna have Chinese tonight?” He proceeded to ignore me and ordered what he wanted to eat. I didn’t have issues since I liked all his choices.

  We sat at the island and had Chinese food with one of Jake’s expensive bottles of wine. How did I know it was expensive? Because my father taught us to appreciate good wine, and also because when Donovan found it in the wine cellar, he let out an evil chuckle, took a picture of the opened bottle, then texted the picture to Jake. Jake sent back a text threatening to send Donovan a bill for that bottle of wine. Donovan took a picture of me drinking a glass and told Jake to charge me instead.

  “You and my cousin have a great relationship, huh?” It was delightful to watch Donovan and Jake in action.

  “Yeah. We’ve been buddies since our sandcastle-in-the-park days. It also helped that we went to the same school up until professional school. When he dated my sister Kelley, I was so psyched I’d have him as a real brother.”

  “You don’t like Kelley’s husband?”

  “I like him, but we’re not buddy/buddy like Jake and I are.”

  “Is that why you’re interested in Jane...?” Donovan looked surprised that I knew anything about them. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked such personal questions. It was possible that he didn’t want me to know, and the possibility was even greater that I didn’t want to know.

  “Jane and I...it’s complicated...”

  So he was attracted to Jane. Donovan...why my cousin and not me?

  “You do know that she’s in love with Max, and Max loves her just as much?” His silence said it all. “I’ll clean up here if you need to leave. You don’t have to stay till Jake and Emily get home.”

  “I can’t leave a young lady here by herself with our godchildren. Who will be your protector, Lady Delaney?”

  I blushed at the thought of Donovan finally being my protector.

  “I don’t need a protector. I’m fine on my own. You can go now.”

  “Are you dismissing me?” He grabbed me in a headlock. Just what I wanted...for the man I’d been obsessed with, to put me in a headlock like I was one of the guys. Ugh! “Let’s go stream a scary movie on that theater-sized TV.”

  Donovan streamed Chainsaw Massacre in 3D and I didn’t know where he found 3D glasses, but he made me sit next to him and watch this terrifying movie.

  “What’s the point of watching a scary movie if you’re going to cover your face the whole time?” he teased.

  “I’m only covering my face when I think it’s going to be scary.”

  “Is this how you watch a scary movie?”

  “Uh-huh...” I answered in a nasally voice, then jumped at the scary scene.

  “Come here.” He pulled me right next to him and put his arm around me to keep me from getting too scared and I instantly melted. I melted right into his arm and his body. It was a perfect fit. I didn’t ever want to leave this position.

  “Laney...” Someone whispered my name.

  I opened my eyes to find Emily and Jake waking both Donovan and me up. Somehow, our bodies got tangled on the oversized sofa, and we were both sprawled out against one another, with Donovan’s arms around my body. A bit flustered, but happy to have been in this position, I got up and apologized to Donovan.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”

  “No worries.” Donovan passed it off as if he fell asleep like this with women all the time. “I guess the movie wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be. It put us both to sleep. Can I walk you home, Delaney?”

  “No. It’s all right. It’s just next door. Thank you for a fun evening, Mr. Taylor.” I turned my face not wanting to show this man how much this night meant to me. I wished I could’ve been awake when Donovan put his arms around me. I wished he would find me interesting rather than my cousin, Jane. I wished...I wished...there were always so many wishes with this man.

  “Good night Emily. Good night Jake. Please give the twins a kiss for me when they wake up.”

  “We will. I really wish you’d let us pay you for watching the kids,” Emily said. “I can’t keep asking you to be with the kids if you won’t let me do something for you.”

  “Emily, you and Jake do so much for me all the time. Why the trip to New York alone was enough to earn you a year of babysitting services. I love being with the twins. Please call me whenever you need me. I’m happy to help.”

  “Thank you!” Emily hugged me hard.

  “You’re like the sister I never had, Emily...” With that admission, I walked along the pathway and headed down the steps when Donovan caught up with me.

  “That was a bit heavy over there with Emily. You all right?”

  Do you really care if I’m all right, Donovan?

  “I’m fine, Mr. Taylor. Once again, thank you.”

  “Hey.” He stopped the both of us right in front of my door. “After bonding over Chinese take-out and a scary movie, you think you can stop with the Mr. Taylor? Like Jake said, I feel like your father’s friend whenever you call me Mr. I’m not that much older than you.”

  I smiled. I guess I half-laughed. “Mr. Taylor, you are a decade older than I am. When I was eleven, you were of legal drinking age, and in college, dating someone a decade older than you.” You proposed to another woman the day I proposed to you but didn’t have the courtesy to answer my proposal, ever. “Let’s stick to our usual M.O.”

  “Delaney.” He stopped me again before I could walk into the house. “Did I wrong you somewhere along the way? I remember you being spunky and happy whenever we hung out. Somehow, I lost that with you. Shit, you didn’t even recognize me the other day. When did we become strangers?”

  “Were we ever anything but? Good night, Mr. Taylor.” Donovan. “I’ll see you again.”

  And that’s how my night ended.

  January 27, 2013 Decisions, Decisions

  After much thinking and researching, I decided to go away for a year after graduation and live abroad. Regardless o
f what I would eventually decide concerning graduate school, I wanted to experience life away from home and in a foreign land. I hoped this decision would go over well with Mom and Dad.

  “What’s the family meeting about, Laney-Babaney?”

  “I’ve made an important decision, and I’m hoping Mom and Dad will be supportive and happy for me, Doug-the-Bug”

  “This doesn’t sound good, Henry.” Mom whispered, but not so quietly.

  “It never is when she wonders whether or not we will support her decision,” Dad grumbled.

  “I can hear you,” I grumbled, myself.

  “You were supposed to hear it.” Dad laughed.

  I laughed with my wonderful father who found reasons to laugh no matter the situation. “I’d like to go away for a year after I graduate from college.”

  “No...!” Mom complained. “Not again. You already did that just a year ago.”

  “Mom, that was two years ago, and I only want to go away for one year. Once I go to grad school, I’ll get a job, and I don’t know when I’ll have this opportunity again.”

  “Where is it you want to go, Baby?”

  “Well, Dad, if it’s OK with everyone, I’d like to stay at Gram’s home in London. If I base myself there, I can travel around Europe and get in a fantastic year of learning and living other cultures.”

  Dad considered it. Mom rejected it.

  “Come on, Mom. You’ve always said if you hadn’t gotten married right out of undergrad, you would’ve traveled the world. That’s been your only regret, getting married so young. You can live vicariously through me.” I put up a perky smile.

  “How can you go away for a year without missing your family? What about the twins? You love those twins, and Emily is having another baby. You won’t see the baby for a year.”

  That fact did give me pause. “Of course I’ll miss you, and I’ll miss the entire family, but I’d like to do this and I can’t unless you and Dad approve.”