by Cee, DW
“I wouldn’t dream of being anything but the utmost gentleman. In my one-and-twenty years of living, I’ve never met anyone like your daughter. In the course of a day, I’ve become a besotted man. Never had I wanted marriage, but with your baby, I want to spoil her, take care of her, and love her. I hope you’ll trust me to take care of Estelle.”
“Oh Harry!” The tears were being reined in by this lovely woman. “I can’t tell you how much of a relief it is to hear that you care for our daughter so. As soon as Stella agrees, we can plan the wedding—the sooner the better.”
“I concur.”
*******
Roland
“Good, very early, morning, Stella.”
“Oh. Roland. What brings you to the garden at this hour? I didn’t think anyone woke up before noon at these house parties.”
“We’d all be sloths if we awoke at that hour. My usual wakeup time is with the sun. It’s hard in the cold winter days when we never see the sun.”
“True. London is an unhappy place during winter. I don’t know that weather is much better in Cambridge, Massachusetts.”
“It won’t be...unless you choose to go with me.” There was too much protest in Estelle’s eyes. I had a hard decision to make. “Listen, Stella...” Damn. I couldn’t give up this early in the charge. I needed to push forth a little more. “I heard you. I’ve been listening to all that you want and don’t want. Far be it for me to change a lady’s mind. What you desire, I’ll help make it happen.”
“Roland. I don’t want to be a wife just yet.”
“Even if you’re a wife as well as a student?”
“Maybe I’m crazy but this is what I’ve always dreamed.”
“Tell me, Beautiful. What have you always dreamed?”
“I’d finish my uni studies. I’d study fashion and somewhere during the end of my graduate degree, I’d meet and fall madly in love with a man. This man would have a wonderful sense of humor, great wit, and a loving way about him. He’d listen to me without caving in to my every desire. He’d love me, without smothering me. He’d be my partner in life, without lording over me. That’s what I’ve always wanted. Do you think it’s too much? Am I being idealistic?”
“It’s your dream, Stella, and you’re the star. You can mold your future love into any man you like. May I tell you what I always thought of my future wife?”
“Oh yes. Please do. I’d love to hear.” I enjoyed this easy rapport. I’d never had this with any woman or man.
“Watching all the English couples around me, I believed my future wife would be kind but frigid, courteous but distant, and my friend but nothing more.”
“Roland. That’s sad. That’s not how most marriages are like...are they? My parents love one another. Harry’s parents appear in love. What about your parents?”
“They were the typical English marriage for opportunity rather than for love. They are all that I stated earlier—no more, no less. That’s how I saw my marriage.”
“Is there a but? I hope there is because your life would be too sad if your prophecies became a reality.”
“You would be the only contradiction to my prediction. You will be the hellfire to pull me out of the dreary Cambridge weather. Already, I know you’d make a damn good friend, lover, and mother of my children. Listen, love, be a partner—I can be all that and more, Stella. Just give me a chance and you’ll be happier than you’ve ever dreamed. Can’t you see the beautiful future, already?”
I prayed that was a good enough portrait for her to stare and ponder at until it was time for me to leave.
“Oh Roland. You make it so hard on me. I’m just a simple girl who wants what every girl wants. The last thing I want to do is to hurt you or anyone else.”
Damn. “Is that a no to my proposal?”
She thought...and thought...
In the end, I didn’t receive an answer before we went in for breakfast.
Time was running out for me.
*******
Harry
“I missed you at the dance last night. Was it something I said that drove you away?”
Her eyes said yes, but her lips mouthed, “No.”
“Do you ride, Miss Cowper?” She nodded yes. “Might I take you on a morning ride after we break our fast?” This time, she hesitantly nodded yes. “Good. I’ll leave you with your family and see you at about half past the hour?”
“Yes, Harry.” Her answer was polite but as noncommittal as possible.
I saw her walking the grounds with Roland this morning, and I berated myself for not having come out earlier to join her first. I should have known that Estelle was not like all the other ladies who awoke long after the sun rose. She was nothing like any of the women I’d ever known.
“What has you thinking so hard, Son?”
“Good morning, Father. You’re up early.”
“Yes. Since I’m the host, I thought I should show my face.” My father had a great sense of humor. He always saw the cup as half full. “When’s the wedding, Son? Shall I inform your grandparents as soon as we are back in London?”
“You might want to hold off, Father. The bride hasn’t exactly agreed to this union.”
“What?” It made me laugh that my father was so surprised at my failure. “How can that be?” Still shocked—that’s what he was.
“Apparently, I’m not as desirable as I believed.”
“What doesn’t she like about you?”
“She likes just about nothing, Father—absolutely nothing!”
Father went into a fit of laughter. “Son. This is the woman for you. Don’t let her go. She’s perfect.”
“I know, Your Grace.” I bemoaned. “If that’s all, I think I’ll get our horses ready. Estelle reluctantly agreed to ride the property.”
Father slapped my back and stated, “Don’t be so downcast, Son. It’s unlike you. Just think how happy you’ll be when she finally says, ‘Yes!’” The laughter ensued. “I can’t wait to see how this all unfolds. I just hope she won’t keep you waiting for too long.”
“I’m glad you find this all so entertaining.”
“I do, Son. I do. Carry on.” He walked away with his head and shoulders shaking, amusedly wondering where he’d gone wrong with his son.
“Do you not want to ride, Harry?” Was the scowl that obvious? “I can go back and join Roland on the lawn, if you’re not in the mood.”
The hell she would; there was no way I was allowing her to leave my sight. “No. I apologize, Estelle. I didn’t mean for you to see or hear any unpleasantness.” I wanted to explain my frustration, but decided to hold my tongue. “I’ve picked out two horses for you. Mathilda over there,” I pointed to a white mare, “is one of the gentler horses we have. Spitfire, true to her name, is a...spitfire. I assume you prefer the spirited mare?”
She smiled. Those upturned lips turned up all parts of me. Damn! I was so screwed. “How about I take whichever one you recommend? You appear to be having a rough morning. I’ll make it easier on you.”
Definitely screwed. “You ride well?” As expected, she nodded in the affirmative. “Take Spitfire. I’ll ride my horse, Blazer, and we’ll go hard for as long as you’d like.”
“Sounds wonderful.” Her lips curved up again and I couldn’t control myself. I grabbed her and kissed her hard. Had she shown any resistance, I would’ve let go. She didn’t join in the embrace, but she also didn’t slap me away. This was a good sign.
“I think we’re both ready now.” It was my turn to smile.
True to her words, Estelle was an excellent rider. We pushed our animals hard until we ran out of steam. We stopped by the stream and gave everyone a much needed rest.
“Where’d you learn to ride if you’ve always lived in London?” I asked the lady who was busy looking through the fields.
“My grandparents live in the countryside, and I lived with them every summer for many, many years. I learned to
ride, till a field, milk a cow, birth a foal—those were some beautiful days. I miss them.”
“Tell me, Estelle, at the end of all this, what do you want out of life? I know attending UCL is very important, but what’s most important to you?”
Her answer was quick. “I want a large family with the man I love.”
“If that’s the case, then why the pretend-feminism? At the end of the day, if all you want is to marry and produce babies, why are you rebuffing my advances?”
This was where my day went completely south. A smile instantly faded into a frown. “Pretend-feminism?” she inquired with anger. “What I want has nothing to do with any other woman or cause. At eighteen, I want to experience all that I can before I choose to settle down, marry and produce babies. You men can do whatever you want. Why can’t I?”
“But you can have it all, too. I’m offering you the world. Why won’t you just take it?”
“If that’s your theory, why shouldn’t I accept Roland’s offer instead?”
She was ever challenging. “Because he can promise you the world, but I can deliver it to you. He isn’t a future duke.”
No different than yesterday, she wasn’t impressed. “I think it’s time for us to part, Harry. Can you lead us back to the house?”
“But I have servants bringing our picnic lunch.”
“You and your servants can lunch together, Your Grace. I’ll be with the rest of the commoners.” Yep, not impressed at all.
She galloped off without another word.
*******
Estelle
The gall of that man. He and his team of servants can go—
“Did you say something, Stella?”
“Shoot. Did you hear all that, Roland?” I giggled at the thought.
“Shall I be a gentleman and lie?” The way he quirked his eyebrows knowingly made me laugh aloud. “What I didn’t hear was an expletive. At least that much I don’t have to lie about, Sweet Stella.”
“You say the darndest things, Roland. I believe I said nothing that would incriminate me. I was just making an observation.”
“I’m sure...” He let it go at that. “I noticed you were gone for most of the morning. I assume His Grace-in-training monopolized your time?” I nodded. “I won’t ask what happened that put you in a mood, but I will ask if you’ll join me for luncheon.”
“After all that riding, I find that I’m famished. How about if we make ourselves a plate and eat by the lake?”
“Splendid suggestion, Sweet Stella.”
“Funny and clever with alliterations. You will make an entertaining husband one day.”
“If alliteration is all it takes, then I shall attempt it all afternoon, just for you.”
“No. No. Please don’t. I was only kidding.” We picked up luncheon, walked a while, and then sat by the edge of the lake. “Will you tell me why you’re headed to law school? You don’t want to sit around and live out your barony, counting your money and commanding your servants?”
“No. I find myself to be a progressive man. I’d like to make my own money, Stella.”
“Why law?”
“Because it calls to me. I want to fight for those who don’t have the money, power, or intellect to protect themselves.”
“Many barristers, advocates, lawyers—whatever you want to call them—don’t exactly have sterling reputations. They work for their own good, it seems.”
“Perhaps, but I’ll be different. I plan on helping everyone—rich and poor. In addition, I’ll be successful enough to keep you in a lifestyle befitting a princess, Stella.”
“You have it wrong if you think I live lavishly. Sure, we’re not paupers, but no, we’re also not royalty. I don’t want anything from a man but his utmost love and devotion to me and our children.”
“I will provide all that and more, Stella. Trust me to take care of your needs.”
“Roland,” I complained. “Can we go one meal without discussing marriage or my needs? How about we talk about your family? Do you have siblings?”
“I have a younger brother who’s also going to be a lawyer. We will form a practice together.”
“I assume he’s as bright and charming as you are?”
“He’s everything I am, multiplied by ten. He’ll finish his studies and join me at Harvard next year with his wife.”
“Already married? He’s showing up his older brother.”
“That’s for sure. He’s married to a lovely lady and they’re in bliss. When I watch them, I know that’s the life I’d want—with you.”
“Here we go again, Roland. You promised—one meal with no talks of marriage.”
“Mademoiselle, you asked, but I made no promises.”
“When do you leave for the States?”
“Tomorrow morning, I leave for home to finish packing. From there, I will visit my family one last time, and the day after, I’ll be far from England. You see why I’m desperate to push my cause?”
I did. “Roland, maybe later, when we’re in a different place, at a different time, we’ll reconnect. Who knows how I’ll answer if you ask me to spend an eternity with you. For now, I regret, but I must say no. We haven’t known each other long enough, well enough, to be any more than friends.”
The disappointment was visible—for both of us. Roland Ascot was a good man. Had there been more time, I might have fallen in love with him. At this moment, he was a man who made me laugh and feel comfortable. For that, I thanked him.
*******
Roland
Damn it all to hell. I’d lost her!
“Is it Harry?” I asked, failing from accusing her.
“I don’t think Harry was ever a part of this conversation, Roland.”
“Just answer me, Stella. Don’t play games with me. Have I lost you to Harry?”
“I don’t believe I was anyone’s to lose.” Her anger was evident. “Good day, Roland. If we don’t see one another again, I wish you well at Harvard.”
“Stella—” There was no point in calling her name. She turned and bolted back toward the house.
“Damn.”
“No luck in your pursuit?” Like some freak-of-nature apparition, Harry appeared.
“Where the hell did you come from?”
“This is my property.”
“No doubt, Your Grace.” Arse laughed at me. In fact, the laugh was of the hysterical kind.
“Why don’t we call it a truce and try and enjoy lunch? I see Estelle hasn’t touched her plate. If you don’t mind, I’ll take her spot as your lunch date.”
That idea didn’t sound that bad. I answered, “Help yourself. For all I know, she may have spit in the food.” Both of us found that idea funny and started eating our bread and luncheon meat.
“So where’d you go wrong this morning?” I asked Harry. “When I came upon Stella, she was halfway to cursing you. She muttered something about you and your servants.”
“Shite, Roland. Where haven’t I gone wrong? Every damn thing I do is not enough to attract one Estelle Cowper. Usually, I fear women noticing me at these gatherings. Since this weekend, I fear being ignored by one woman. I’ve never been this insecure. Who the hell have I become?”
“Well, I was just told by that same woman that if we never saw one another again, good damn luck at Harvard.”
We could do nothing but laugh at one another’s plight. “What the hell have we gotten ourselves into, Chap?”
“No damn clue, Harry. What is it about that barely-a-woman that has us behaving so pathetically?”
“I love the fire in her eyes.” Harry had no problem explaining his fancy. “She has to be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on, but what’s on the inside is even more attractive.”
“Our grandfathers weren’t wrong in thinking you and I had much in common. As much as her appearance strikes me, I, too, am infatuated with her spirit. No other can match the ardor, the drive. In the t
wenty-four hours since we’ve met, I understand this feeling called love. I am irrevocably in love and I don’t know if I’ll ever discover this feeling again if I lose Stella.”
“Shite, Roland. We sound like two men recanting Byron. We are in trouble. What will we do if she rebuffs us?”
“You, at least, will see her at school and can continue your pursuit,” I lamented. “I’m gone as of early tomorrow. I’m done.”
“Did she say you were done?”
“Just about. I asked if you were the reason why she refused me and though she didn’t confirm, she also didn’t deny it. I say your chances are alive.”
“Yeah?” Harry couldn’t hide the happiness.
“Yeah, old friend. Remember not to gloat too much when you’re married to that hellfire.” The grin was undeniable. “She’ll make a fine duchess.”
“That she will!”
If I couldn’t have Stella Cowper, there was no harm in encouraging Harry. He’d give her all she wanted in life and then some. For me, Cambridge, over the pond, was calling.
*******
Harry
That was damn good news Roland shared with me. In the end, he realized who the inevitable winner was and chose to share critical information. He turned out to be a decent chap after all.
With this power of knowledge, I decided it was time to push my suit to the maximum.
“Mrs. Cowper?” I accosted her as she was leaving her luncheon. “May I speak with you and Mr. Cowper?”
“Of course, Harry.” Penelope Cowper was a less beautiful version of her daughter. “George.” She hurried her husband to us. “Harry would like to speak with us.” The three of us understood where this conversation was headed.
“How about in the library?” I suggested and led them. “Shall I order some tea or coffee?”
“No, thank you, Harry. We just finished our meal.”
Accepting my request, my parents joined us in the meeting as well. “Are we late?”
“Not at all. We only just arrived,” I explained.
“Do begin, Son.” My father, the current Duke of Bennington, had a welcoming visage at all times.
