by Cee, DW
“As you know, I’ve already asked Miss Cowper to be my wife.” All four faces lit up the room. “But, I think I did this all wrong.”
“How so?” Mother asked.
“I bucked tradition and didn’t court the lady. Nor, did I ask permission from her parents. Here, I’d like to ask for permission to pursue Estelle Cowper as my future duchess. Would you be all right with my intention?”
“Of course, Harry!” Penelope was all smiles.
“You have both our permissions.” George equaled his wife’s joy.
“Not that you need it, but you have ours as well.” Father, too, was overjoyed. “We’re looking forward to having a wedding here.”
“Oh, yes! This castle is the perfect place for a wedding. Penelope, we must start the planning today.”
“Mother,” I warned. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. The bride has yet to consent.”
“That’s up to you, Harry. We, ladies, will take care of the wedding on our end. You take care on your end.”
For the parents, that was all that needed to be said. They adjourned to do what was necessary and I went about finding my future bride.
Once again, I found her in Roland’s company, sitting on the porch. Rather than accost the two of them, I let them be. I could only assume how Roland felt saying farewell to the woman he’d lost.
*******
Roland
“I needed to apologize, Roland, for my earlier behavior. That wasn’t kind of me to bite your head off when all you wanted to know was how I felt.” Estelle had found me as I was headed to pack and asked me to join her on the swing outside. How could I refuse?
“Stella, my greatest pleasure would be to live with you until I die, but that doesn’t appear to be my lot in life. Maybe one day, when all I have is time, we’ll meet again. Then, I’ll court you properly and love you the way you deserve.”
She sighed. Something about her discontent made me feel lighter, better, and a hell of a lot more hopeful.
“Roland, I’m nobody special. You’ll meet a lady who will light up your life and then you’ll know that it was a good thing I turned you down.”
“I doubt it, Stella. No other lady is you.”
Once again, I heard the discontent. “Roland, you say the sweetest words. I wish I could give you a different answer, but I can’t. It’s been twenty-four hours since we met. I’m still young. I don’t know what I want just yet, but I do know I don’t want marriage at eighteen. I wish we could’ve met later in life.”
“As much as it kills me, I’m going to let you go. I’m leaving early, Stella. I don’t want to be here when you don’t want me.”
“Roland...” Her whine was encouraging me to stay. Nevertheless, I understood the inevitable. I’d lost.
“Promise me this, Stella—if we ever meet again, and you and I are both unmarried, you’ll marry me.”
There was no way in hell she’d agree to such an inane request, but surprisingly, she answered, “OK.” I guess she wasn’t immune to me.
“Can we stay friends? Will you write to me, Roland?”
“Wouldn’t Harry mind if I wrote to his future duchess?”
“The not-marrying-at-eighteen is valid toward any man, Roland. Harry is no exception.”
“So you won’t accept the duke-in-training’s profession of love and marriage, either?” The smile and relief were unmistakable.
“No,” she whispered. “I wasn’t playing games when I said I wanted to experience life before settling down. Once settled, I’ll focus on my husband and children.”
“Remember what you promised me, Stella. If we meet again, we’re getting married.”
She giggled. “Just answer my letters when they come, Roland. Once your fiancée-turned-wife complains, I’ll stop communicating.”
There will be no one until you claim that spot, dear Stella. “I can’t wait to hear from you again. Be well, my fair lady.”
With those words and a too-brief kiss to her lips, I let fate take care of the rest. It was time to head toward my future.
*******
Estelle
“Estelle?” Harry awoke me from my sadness. “Would you care to have dinner with me?”
After the way Roland left, all I wanted to do was stay in my room and be miserable. “I don’t know that I’ll be good company, Harry.”
“How about I be the judge of that? Please join me. I have a special meal prepared for us.”
“It’ll just be the two of us?”
“Would that bother you?”
Lord! How was I to handle Harry? He had that archaic, Neanderthal way that made even a non-follower like me want to follow him. There was always plenty of excitement where Harry Bennington was concerned. How could I be attracted to two men simultaneously?
“I don’t know, Harry,” I sighed. “If it’s all right with my parents, I guess I’ll join you for dinner.”
“Please tell me your despondent attitude has nothing to do with Roland leaving. I’m a possessive man, Estelle. Don’t push me. You won’t like what you see when I get jealous.”
As ridiculous as this sounded, I kind of found him irresistible right now. What was wrong with me? My head was on backwards today.
“What time and where, Harry?” I asked in an exasperated tone, though I wasn’t exasperated with him.
“Seven and I’ll pick you up outside your bedroom door.”
“All right...” I needed a nap to stand up against Harry, the duke-in-training, Bennington.
*******
Harry
I’d done it. I’d secured a private evening with Miss Cowper. Tonight, I’d show my hands and if she still rebuffed all that I had to offer, I would wash my hands of her. Nobody turned down Harry Bennington twice.
“This room is stunning, Harry.”
“I’m glad you think so. My staff went through a lot of trouble creating the perfect ambience for you.”
“You really didn’t need to bother anyone to this extent. This room feels like I’m dining at a bistro in Paris.”
Estelle Cowper was no dummy. She understood exactly the setting I wanted to convey.
“I did my best to show you what it would be like to dine with me in Paris. When I declared to you yesterday that we would be traveling to Paris together, I wasn’t exaggerating. Wherever you want to study, I’ll take you. The world is your oyster, Estelle. You only need to accept my offerings.”
“Harry...” She was at a loss for words. What woman wouldn’t be when everything was laid at her feet?
“What can I say to convince you of my sincerity? Is this what you’re looking for, Estelle?” I produced a stunning ten-carat sapphire and diamond ring and got on one knee. “I look forward to spoiling you the rest of our lives together, Miss. Cowper. Will you marry me?”
“Harry...” This time, my name wasn’t uttered in a favorable way.
Damn. Had I done something wrong?
*******
Estelle
Not to sound ungrateful, but why? Why me? Why would anyone want to marry me after having known me for thirty hours?
What was I to say to this man who was on his knees, grimacing at my muteness?
“Harry...I’ve told you already...” Whispering those words, I feared his reaction. “I don’t want to marry right now.”
“We don’t have to marry today. We can marry next month, next year—whenever you decide the time is right. I only want to place this heirloom on your finger so all will know you are mine.”
“I don’t want to be anyone’s possession. Freedom to study, freedom to go anywhere I please, freedom to live life as I see fit—are those too much to ask because I’m a girl?”
“Those are simple requests that I can fulfill. Marry me, Estelle. You can live your life as you see fit—like a queen.”
“I’m sorry Harry. As tempting as you paint my life-to-be, I can’t marry you right now. I just don’t know. It’s to
o early.”
This is where Harry got up from his kneeling position and turned angry.
Damn. Obviously, I had said something seriously wrong.
*******
Harry
Who the hell did this girl think she was? I was offering her the opportunity of a lifetime and she was turning me down. This was twice now she said no. I was done chasing. I was Harry Bennington, the future duke of the Bennington family. No woman in her right mind would push me away—twice!
“All right, then, Miss Cowper. I’ve asked my question. You’ve answered incorrectly, and I don’t believe in second chances. We are done. This private dinner is highly inappropriate for two people who are only acquaintances. If you need, I’ll escort you to the main dining hall where everyone is enjoying their buffet before the dance.”
“That’s it?” she asked, a bit aghast. “You’re shunning me because I refused your suit?”
“I believe it’s you who is shunning me.”
“How can you go from ‘offering me the world,’ to kicking me out of a dinner you invited me to tonight? You can be so cold, Harry.”
“You can’t have it both ways, Estelle. I can’t give special attention to every woman I come across. If I did, I’d be leg-shackled ten times over. Since you’re not willing to be on the other end of the shackle, let’s part now.”
I knew I was being an arse, but I wanted to watch Estelle’s reaction. She needed to wake up and understand that I wouldn’t be waiting the next seven decades for her. It was now or never.
*******
Estelle
To say I was shocked would be the understatement of the year.
As soon as I answered no, Harry closed the ring box, placed it back in his coat pocket, and opened the door of our dining room. On the one hand, I was saddened by the turn of events. I found Harry’s old-fashioned caveman-like ways exciting and enticing. However, seeing the drastic change in him was a frightening eye-opener. I didn’t want to be married to anyone whose mind and heart flippantly veered directions. It was better we parted this way.
“All right, Harry. I guess, unlike Roland, you won’t exactly want to be pen pals. Thank you for the attention this weekend. Even with this abrupt and sad ending, I will miss you, Harry.”
*******
Harry
“No! Wait! Don’t go, Estelle!” Those words were on my lips but they wouldn’t come out. My pride kept them locked away.
This dinner wasn’t supposed to end this way. We were to have a lovely meal. I would find the perfect moment to propose and she’d cry with joy at the excitement of our new engagement. Then, we’d head down to the ball and announce ourselves as newly affianced. Everyone would cheer for us. Our families would rejoice at the news. We’d all live happily ever after.
Never had I dreamed Estelle would walk out of this room without my ring on her hand.
I’d wait.
She’d return.
Who wouldn’t want to be the next Bennington Duchess?
Jerry. Estelle.
Estelle
“You see now what I mean about persistence? I turned down your proposal and what did you do? You never talked to me again. It wasn’t until we ran into one another in Fife, thanks to Laney, that I saw how you’d grown up.”
“That’s not wholly correct, my dear wife.”
“I suppose, but after barely acknowledging me in school that first month and then escorting me and my parents up to Fife to ask me again to marry you, wasn’t exactly courting me, Harry.”
“Of course it was!” he insisted.
“I’ll let you have that one, but then after that refusal, you stopped communicating altogether.”
“You knew I was always there. I sent you your favorite flowers every year.”
I remembered those foxgloves. Harry had uncanny timing, always. “Were you keeping tabs on me? How did you know that I’d given birth each time? How’d you know that Jerry had passed? What were you thinking every time you sent me flowers?”
“I never, ever imagined you leaving Fife, twice, without being engaged to me. It was unfathomable that you’d move on to marry someone else.”
“But Harry, you never, ever spoke to me again. Even on occasions when we’d bump into one another at school, you ignored me. I’ll admit now that I went home and cried my eyes out the first time you passed right by me without a hello.”
“You did?”
“I did. I wondered what I’d done so wrong. I couldn’t believe you hated me that much.”
“I didn’t hate you, Dear Estelle. In fact, I was so desperately in love with you that I didn’t know what to do with myself. A part of me needed you badly. The arrogant part of me kept saying that you needed me badly. I wished I hadn’t let pride get in the way of happiness.”
“I wished you hadn’t either. That first year, I did regret not accepting either one of your proposals. Whereas Roland and I continued to stay friends, you cut me off without another thought. I was devastated for a while.”
“So, you were interested in me that weekend we met?”
“Of course I was. You were dashing and commanding, and so very sure of yourself. Every woman likes that in a man.”
“But you were interested in Roland, too?”
“Yes. While you were dashing, Roland was charming. When you commanded, Roland quietly inquired. While you held onto your old-fashioned duke-like ways, Roland believed in making something of himself—and he did. He went out and accomplished all he promised to do.”
“Does that mean I did nothing with my life?”
My Harry would always be a competitive man. “No, Harry. That means you were born into a different life than most people. There’s no fault in anything you did.”
“Except for letting you get away. Why did you leave UCL, Estelle? I purposely stayed there for graduate studies to be near you.”
“Really?” I had no idea he was even there.
“Really. What made you move to Oxford your third year of school?”
“I could say it was fate since I met Jerry there, but it was a reason you might not want to hear.”
“Damn. Since you put it that way, I don’t want to hear it, but now you’ve aroused my curiosity. Out with it, Woman.”
“There were two reasons for me leaving. One was the fact that my parents finally gave in and allowed me to live away from home. That’s when I applied to transfer to Oxford. With my parents close by in London, I thought that was a good starting point before I left for Paris.”
“And the second reason?”
“I hated hearing all the rumors about you and your prospective brides. Many girls had much to say about the great Harry Bennington; they all wanted to marry you. I don’t know how to exactly explain how I felt when I knew I could’ve been your bride—it was a bit of regret, a bit of hurt, and a whole lot of wondering if I’d made the wrong choice. Though I never saw you, I thought a clear break was the best answer.”
“Shit! You mean if I’d continued to pursue you, we could’ve been celebrating our seventieth anniversary rather than being newlyweds?”
“Possibly...” I pondered the idea of not having been married to Jerry; that was not possible. “Why didn’t you ever approach me again, Harry?”
“Damn Woman! I was giving you space until you finished your studies!” My husband was upset. “I thought you’d answer my suit better if I let you do all you wanted, first. How the hell was I to know you missed me? Why didn’t you tell me?” The last phrase was said with a whole lot of hurt and regret. “I’ve loved you since we met, Estelle. I feel bad toward my late wife but I’ve always loved you. To know I could’ve had seven decades of loving rather than missing you, kills me!”
“Harry.” I held his hand over the table. “We have each other now. We’ll be in love until the day we die.”
“I know, but...” The mighty duke was in anguish. Today, I finally understood how much this man loved me.
“I love you, Harry. Though late, I’m honored you chose me as your bride.”
“Again.”
“Yes,” I laughed, “again.”
(Seventy-plus-years-ago)
*******
Jerry
“Sweet Jesus! Who is that over there?”
“Where?” My best mate since nursery school days asked.
“How could you not notice that stunning French-looking woman sitting on the steps? I think I’m in love, Reggie.”
“Where are you going?” I was already halfway to this girl when Reggie called out.
I couldn’t help myself. I had to talk to the girl who would be my future wife.
“Gorgeous. You will be my wife before this year is over.” She obviously hadn’t heard me because her head was down and she was feverishly drawing, erasing, and redrawing. “Gorgeous!” I exclaimed. “Hello. Gorgeous!” I waved both hands to catch her attention. Perhaps she was French and didn’t understand what I was saying? “Bonjour, ma belle. Parlez-vous anglais?”
“What?” She finally looked up. “Uh...oui. Je parle l’anglais.”
“Oh! So you do speak our language. I thought between the outfit, the beret, and scarf, you were French.”
“No. I’m English. May I help you?”
This adorable woman had smudges of pencil marks on parts of her face. Her hands were a mess too. But that only made her more desirable.
“This isn’t as dramatic when you have to say it a second time, but I want you to know that you WILL be my wife before this year is over.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at this woman who replied with a, “What?” I’d declared my heart and she sounded as if she heard nothing.
“To repeat for the third time, YOU WILL BE MY WIFE BEFORE THIS YEAR IS OVER!”
“Goodness. There’s no need to scream. I’m not hard of hearing. I guess I heard that ridiculous statement correctly the second time.” As soon as she said that, she looked back down at her artwork and went at it. What I’d said had no bearing on her now or later.
“Hello?”
