by T. L. Hayes
Steve was just getting out of the shower when she heard her mother’s voice coming from her living room.
“Where are you, Stephanie? I know you’re here—I saw your car in the driveway.”
Steve grabbed her towel off the towel rack, quickly wiped her face, and hollered out, “Just getting out of the shower. Give me a minute.” She dried her hair, then the rest of her body, then hung the towel back on the rack. Next, she donned her clothes that were piled neatly on the counter, a clean T-shirt and a pair of sweats with Army written down the leg in black letters. A quick look in the steamed-over mirror, where she had wiped a spot clean, reminded her to run her hands through her close-cropped hair. There, it looked fine. Then she opened the bathroom door to go face her mother.
She found her in the kitchen, staring intently into Steve’s refrigerator. Steve smiled. “Looking for the meaning of life? Why so serious?”
Her mother turned to her. “No, I’m looking for something edible to eat. Do you never cook at home?” Steve started to speak, but her mother cut her off. “I mean, something besides frozen pizzas and those freeze-dried noodles you used to eat in college.”
“Yes, I cook things other than those. Just last Sunday I made you that great noodle dish, remember?” Steve took her own look in the fridge and came out with a beer.
“No, my love child, you didn’t. That came out of the freezer, premade. You think I didn’t see that?”
Steve took a swig of her beer, then looked at her mother, amused. “Love child? I don’t think you’re using that term correctly.”
Her mother popped her lightly on the back of the head. “Of course I am. Don’t correct your mother. It was the seventies, your father and I weren’t married yet…What would you call it?” After rooting around in Steve’s fridge, she pulled out bacon and a carton of eggs. “I saw on your shelf that you have spaghetti. I’ll make you my fabulous carbonara, even if you don’t have all the right cheeses. It’ll still be wonderful.” She took her items to the counter, then said over her shoulder, “Can you get me the parmesan?”
Steve grabbed it for her, then asked, “Can we go back to this love child thing? You never told me this.”
“I didn’t think you were old enough to handle it, but you’re over forty now. Should I have waited until you were fifty?” She busied herself making food, with her back to Steve.
“I’m just surprised, is all. I didn’t know you and Dad were hippies. Please tell me there are pictures somewhere.”
“Well, I wouldn’t say we were hippies—that was mostly over by the time you were born. We never looked the part, but some of our friends…Well, anyway, would you rather I call you my bastard child?” Her mother turned around with a twinkle in her eye and grinned, then went back to the sink and put water in a pot.
Smiling into her beer, Steve said, “No, I would not like that much at all.”
“I didn’t think so.”
“So, wait, did you guys do drugs?”
She shut off the water, carried it over to the stove and placed it on a burner, then turned up the flame. “It always amuses me when children find out their parents had lives before they came along. Almost as if the world was on hold, waiting for them to be born.” She turned around to grab a skillet from inside the oven. “Really, you should find a better place for these.”
“I’ll look into it. You never really answered my question, you know?”
“I didn’t?” Steve shook her head. “Oh. Well, hand me the bacon, would you?” Steve handed it to her. “Thank you, love.”
“You’re not going to, are you?”
“My sources say no.”
“Great, now my mother’s a Magic 8-Ball. What’s next, lava lamps and hookah pipes?”
Nonchalantly, her mother replied, “Well, a girl’s gotta have a hobby.”
Steve laughed, then kissed her mother on the cheek. “I love you. You’re awesome.”
Her mother blushed but came back with, “Yes, well, I’m glad you realize that. Speaking of awesome people—”
“Here we go.” Steve didn’t give her mother a chance to continue. “I was wondering when you would ask me. You’ve been rather quiet about this up until now.”
“What? What am I going to ask you, Miss Know-It-All?”
Steve got a mixing bowl down from a shelf and started to crack the eggs into it without being asked. “You want to ask me about Lou. You’ve been restraining yourself up till now. Quite frankly, I’m surprised you haven’t given yourself a coronary or something.”
“Bite your tongue. Don’t say words like that to someone my age. I need to buy you some wooden spoons so I can spank you with them.”
Steve lightly smacked her butt. “Buns of steel. Wouldn’t do any good. Nice try, though.” Setting the bowl aside, she said, “Your eggs are done.”
“Thank you, sweets. Now, who said I was going to ask about Lou? But since you brought her up…”
Steve narrowed her eyes. “Mother…”
“Oh, don’t act like it’s a surprise. As you say, I’ve been restraining myself up until now. Just tell me, do you think this relationship has potential?”
“Potential for what?”
“Don’t act so coy. You know, to last? As far as I know, you haven’t dated anyone since Cairyn. At least, not more than once. I was beginning to worry.”
“I wasn’t ready.”
“I know. I didn’t mean you should have been in a hurry. No one has the right to tell you how long to grieve, not even your mother. I just worried that you would get lost in it, that’s all.”
“I think I was, for a while. But it’s getting better. I like Lou a lot. I think it does have potential.” A smile played at her lips and she felt a blush rising. She hid her face as much as she could by taking a sip of her beer.
“Good. Just tell me when I can ask for a family discount.” Her mother’s eyes danced with mischief.
“Mother, I am not dating her so you can get a discount on kung fu lessons.”
“Then why are you dating her?”
“You’ve met her—she’s awesome.”
“Well, I know she’s a great teacher, but I don’t know much about her otherwise. When are you going to invite us both to dinner? Don’t you think it’s time?”
“And scare her off? I thought you wanted this relationship to work.”
“Very funny, young lady. I think it’s time I got to know her as my daughter’s girlfriend, and not just as my sifu.” She pointed a finger in Steve’s face. “Make it happen.”
Steve sighed. “Fine. I’ll see what I can do.” Steve returned the gesture. “Just behave. No embarrassing questions. Or embarrassing pictures.”
“Well, that rather limits what I can talk about, then. I guess I’ll have to think of other things. But you can’t stop me from bringing out the embarrassing photos—that’s my right and privilege. It’s in the Bill of Rights.”
“I don’t remember that from social studies class.”
“I meant the Mom’s Bill of Rights. You would know that if you’d given me a grandchild.”
“Oh, jeez.”
“Getting to bring up not having grandchildren is in there too, along with guilt about not calling enough. Which you cleverly got to sidestep by being in the military and not always being able to. But you’re back on civvy ground now and you will do as I say.” She arched an eyebrow at Steve and tried to look serious.
Steve stood at attention and brought her right hand up to her forehead. “Yes, Drill Sergeant!” But she couldn’t suppress the grin.
“Damn right! At ease, soldier, and get me a whisk.”
Steve did as told.
* * *
Later that evening, after her mother left, Steve sent Lou a text. She had gotten in the habit of texting instead of calling because she knew Lou was always busy, and she didn’t want to presume that she always had the time to sit and talk, even though she would much rather have talked to Lou instead.
Hello, sweetness, just
wanted to tell you that my mother has finally gotten around to saying she wants to have dinner together. I convinced her to do the cooking. Are you free next weekend?
Lou replied, Oh, what a coincidence! Bill wants to do the same thing. I’m sure for the same reasons. They were thinking Friday, what day was your mother thinking?
Sunday. She said, If she’s not sick of me by then. I think she means because of the lesson earlier in the day.
Right. On the mat it’s all business, so there won’t be any problems. Besides, don’t tell her I said this, but she’s my favorite student. Unless you think it would win me points.
Steve chuckled. My mother adores you, your points couldn’t go any higher.
Good to know. See you Friday, soldier.
Steve thought the smile would be permanently affixed to her face.
Chapter Nine
On Tuesday afternoon, Lou decided she needed a little time in the gym by herself. It’d already been a long week, and it was only Tuesday. On Monday, Charles had called a staff meeting that seemed to go on for hours. She hadn’t even paid attention to most of it. She just sat doodling on the notepad she had brought with her, hoping it looked as if she was taking notes. Then three students had come up to her asking for extensions on their final papers due in two weeks. None of them had sufficient reason for an extension. She had fixed each of them with her steely-eyed glare and denied their requests.
One student had started to protest that he had three other papers to write, hoping that would earn him sympathy. Again, she didn’t budge. “You’re in grad school. It goes with the territory. I don’t mean to sound unsympathetic, but this is what you signed up for.”
The semester would be over in less than a month and she would welcome the break. In the meantime, she needed to have some time sweating for her own sake. Maybe do some strength and endurance training, which she had been neglecting as of late. She needed to clear her head, and there was nowhere better to do that than the gym. She walked through the main room, past the mats where the kung fu training was held, and into the back room where the actual gym was. The Wushuguan offered other services, besides kung fu for all ages. They also offered kickboxing classes, a weight-loss boot camp, self-defense instruction, and personal training. Sometimes the gym was crowded, but Tuesday afternoons were usually pretty open. Besides Lou, there were just a couple of guys lifting weights as a team, and a few people on treadmills. Lou went to the universal gym in the back first to do a warm-up with some of the cable exercises there.
She set her water bottle on the floor near the machine, then went over to the rack on the wall and grabbed an odd-looking contraption, with a padded hand grip and a cloth strap that formed a triangle, at the end of which dangled a D ring. She used the ring to attach it to the pulley, then adjusted the weight to thirty-five pounds. Then she adjusted her stance and began to do bicep curls with her right hand, doing three sets of fifteen for one arm, then switching arms and doing a high set of twenty reps. Once those were done, she switched out the strap for a tricep rope, which was just a fancy name for a piece of rope with hard plastic ball-shaped grips on the ends and a metal attachment in the middle to clip it to the pulley. She left the weight where it was and went on with her exercises. She paused between sets for drinks of water, making sure to stay hydrated.
As she rounded the side of the universal to do the lat pull down, she could see the door of the gym from where she sat. She saw her sifu, Sifu Ann, showing a new person around the gym. Instead of sitting down and continuing with her exercises, she watched as Steve was given a tour, not sure what to make of it. Before she could process the sight of Steve in her place, they were upon her and Steve was smiling at her.
“Hey.” Steve smiled and gave her a small wave.
She was confused but gave Steve a perfunctory smile. “Hello.”
Ann looked from one to the other. “You two know each other?”
Before Lou could answer, Steve replied, “Yep. She’s kinda my girlfriend.”
Ann looked surprised. “Oh, I wasn’t aware. Well, I’ll leave you to it, then. If you have any more questions, you can ask me…or Lou, I guess. Welcome.” She smiled, then walked away.
Lou stood up and grabbed the lat bar, and after adjusting the weight, she sat down to do her reps. She didn’t say anything to Steve, who watched her in silence. When the set was done, Lou stood again and gently let go of the bar, then grabbed her water bottle from the floor next to her and took a drink.
Finally, Steve asked, “Are you mad at me?”
Lou briefly glanced at her as she stood up and grabbed the bar again. Before she started her second set, she asked, “No, why?”
Steve shrugged. “I don’t know, just seems like you’re upset. I mean, maybe I shouldn’t take it personally, maybe you’ve just had a bad day, or you’re just trying to concentrate on your workout. I get that. I just can’t help wondering, you know?” Steve shrugged one shoulder again and looked a little sheepish.
Lou stood up again after finishing her second of three sets, then resumed her seat and looked up at Steve. “Yes, it’s been a long week already.”
Steve leaned against the machine and fixed Lou with a concerned look. “You want to talk about it?”
Standing up to grab the bar for her last set, Lou replied, “Not really.”
“Okay. I should probably get to work anyway and stop bothering you during your workout. Apparently I have a client in a few minutes.”
Lou wiped down the machine, then looked at Steve before she went on to her next exercise. “What do you mean? What client?”
“Oh, didn’t I tell you? I’m the new trainer. Personal training and boot camp. I was getting bored at home, and it just so happened that they needed a trainer. I like Ann—she’s nice.”
“You work here?”
“Yeah. It’s cool, right?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Are you sure? You don’t look like it’s okay.” Steve touched Lou’s arm but Lou took a step back. Steve looked at her curiously.
“Yeah, it’s fine. I just have to…I have to go finish my workout. I gotta go.” Lou retrieved her water bottle and left the gym, hoping Steve wouldn’t follow. She went out to the main room and over to the wall where the Wing Chun wooden dummies were located, set her bottle on the floor, and began to practice her moves on a dummy, almost in a feverish fashion. As she was doing her movements, her pace picked up and she was able to block out the noises in the gym, as well as the ones in her head.
When Lou finished hitting the dummy, she decided to call it a day. She turned to go and saw Steve standing near the door, with her arms crossed over her chest, with a curious expression on her face. “Shit,” she whispered. She walked to where Steve stood, in a mood for a confrontation.
When she reached her, Steve touched Lou’s arm again to stop her. Lou’s eyes traveled to Steve’s hand, then back up to Steve’s face and Steve let go. “Please tell me what’s wrong. I know something is.”
Lou exhaled, then shook her head. “I thought you understood about this place.”
“What, that it’s one of your favorite places? Yes, I get that.”
“No, I don’t think you do. I just need something that’s mine.”
“What, are you saying you don’t want me working here?” Steve’s voice started to lose its notes of sympathy and take on hints of incredulousness.
Lou put her hand on her forehead and shook her head. “It’s hard to explain. I just…I need to go.” Lou moved to leave, but Steve called her back.
“Lou, just say it. I invaded your space and you don’t want me here. That’s it, isn’t it?”
Lou turned in Steve’s direction, feeling sad and tired, and said, “I have no right to tell you where to be.” Then she left the building and walked out to her Jeep, only realizing once she had slammed her door that she had left her street clothes in her locker, along with her keys and cell phone. She slammed her palm on the steering wheel and hollered out, “Fuck!” then
leaned her head back on the seat, wondering how long she’d have to sit there before she could go back inside and retrieve them.
Chapter Ten
Lou arrived half an hour early to Bill and Dix’s place on Thanksgiving Day, hoping to catch Bill alone for a moment, but no such luck. He was in the kitchen fussing over everything, insisting that he didn’t need any help. For his contribution, Dix had made the pies and the rolls and set the table, then had gotten out of the kitchen as quickly as he could. He handed Lou a beer when she came in and ushered her to the living room with an expression that said, Let’s get out of his way. Lou smiled in understanding and took the hint, leading the way into the living room, where they sat down on the couch.
“So, how many people are coming over this year?”
Dix took a sip of his wine and said, “Well, besides you, there’s our friend Tony, who hasn’t missed a Thanksgiving in six years. You met him last year.”
“The guy with the beard, wearing the cardigan and the…” Lou made a gesture to indicate a large stomach.
“Yep, that’s the old bear. Some years he brings a boyfriend, but he’s flying solo this year. Then there’s a new guy from my department. His name’s Kevin, and he teaches Irish history.”
“Oh, neat.”
“Yes. He seems like a cool guy. Divorced. He doesn’t talk about it much—I think he’s still grieving. Then last but not least, you’ll get to meet our daughter, Mona.” Dix’s face beamed at the mention of his daughter.
“Oh my God, that’s awesome! I thought she lived in San Francisco?”
“She does, just like her namesake, but she missed the holidays last year because, as she put it, a PhD program is a lot of work and there’s no such thing as a vacation. But she graduated in May and she’s teaching now, so finally, she can take some time away.”
“Her namesake?” Lou asked, confused.
“Mona Ramsey.” Lou still didn’t look any more enlightened. Dix rolled his eyes. “Oh my God, seriously? How can you be our friend and not know one of the most famous characters from classic gay literature?”
