by Laura John
We pay the artist and head over to where tables are set up near the main stage.
“Why don’t we get a snack and sit down for a bit?” I suggest and Xavier nods.
“Sure, my legs are pretty sore. A rest would be nice.”
Was I an idiot for inviting a baseball player to an event where we would be standing a lot? He’s spent hours running and standing. Fuck, I’m stupid.
“Stop overthinking everything. I’m fine,” Xavier tells me, reading my mind once again.
I really hope I don’t fuck this up again because I don’t think I’ll ever find someone more perfect for me.
“You know me so well,” I say and go to grab us some food.
“I found a food truck that was selling these awesome steak bites,” I tell Xavier, setting down the food on a picnic table.
“Those look amazing. I’m so down.” Xavier picks up a fork and shoves a bite into his mouth. “That’s really good. You might have to get your own because I don’t think I’m sharing,” he jokes.
I stick out my lip, fake pouting, and Xavier laughs. And I feel that spark of joy I only feel around him.
“Open up,” he says, leaning over to feed me.
Why is that so sexy? I do as I’m told, keeping my eyes locked on his as the food enters my mouth. I lick my lips suggestively, and Xavier lets out a groan.
“You don’t make things easy, do you?” he jokes, his voice low and hoarse.
I shrug. “Why do things the easy way, when you can do it the fun way!”
He laughs and I grab his hand across the table, loving the sound of it.
“Thank you for coming out with me tonight. I’m having a great time. I missed you so goddamn much.”
“I missed you too,” he tells me, squeezing my hand. “Honestly, I don’t know how slow I’m going to be able to take this, especially when you play dirty with those sexy lips. But I’m having a great time tonight. It feels like old times, but I have noticed the change in you. You’re pushing yourself, but you’re being honest about everything. I like that.”
“You were right about us taking this slow. Let’s at least go on two more dates before we take the next step. How’s Joey doing?”
Xavier’s face lights up and I know I’m smiling back at him. It’s hard not to. That man’s grin is contagious.
“So good. He’s two and a half months now, and they think he’ll be coming home soon. Tomorrow, they are going to try him off the oxygen. They think he’s ready. Everything is just moving so fast, but it’s so exciting.”
“That’s great news. I can’t wait to meet him.”
“Soon. Maybe we’ll wait until he’s home. The NICU likes to keep people to a minimum,” he tells me, and I look down at our hands.
“It’s not because I don’t want you to meet him, Mason. I just don’t think we’re ready for that step yet. But if you keep doing what you’re doing, we’ll be there before you know it.”
I nod my head. “I know. It’s just the way you talk about him. I’m pretty sure I’m going to fall in love. So, you’re right, we should wait. Even though he won’t remember, if something happens, I’ll remember him, and I couldn’t bear to lose you both.”
Xavier squeezes my hand. “You’re not losing anyone.”
He stands up and leans across the table, gently kissing me. Fuck, I missed this so much.
“It’s getting late. Why don’t I get you home,” I tell him, and he smiles.
“Yeah, don’t want my mom to beat your ass for making me break curfew,” he jokes.
We stand up, and I grab his hand. “Your mom is a tough lady. She probably could lay a whooping on me.”
“Fags,” I hear, but it isn’t very loud. I turn to see a skinny guy and a girl holding his hand. Her face is flushed, and she’s looking at the ground, clearly not proud of what her boyfriend just said.
“Can I help you?” I ask, not letting go of Xavier’s hand.
“It’s not right, you know,” he starts, his one hand clenched.
Xavier pulls on me, but I don’t move.
I close my eyes and take three deep breaths.
Breathe in - I am enough - breathe out.
Breathe in - I am proud to be gay - breathe out.
Breathe in - I am loved, and that’s enough.
I open my eyes and smile at the young man.
“This…” I hold up mine and Xavier’s intertwined hands. “...is perfect. You know what isn’t right? The amount of hate you are carrying in your heart. You two have a nice night,” I tell them and place my hands on Xavier’s face and smash my lips to his.
The man grumbles something but I don’t stop kissing Xavier; instead, I just raise a middle finger.
I can’t tell if the man walks away. I’m too busy lost in the moment with Xavier. Fuck, I’ve missed kissing him. His lips are soft, and his beard tickles my skin. Damn, I forgot how amazing that feels. Once we are done kissing, I step back and Xavier has the biggest smile on his face.
“I’m so damn proud of you,” he tells me, and my heart swells with the compliment.
As we walk out of the event hand in hand, I know I need to do a big gesture soon. He can see I’m changing, and he’s forgiven me, but I need to prove that I want him for the rest of my life. Now just to talk to our friends and family and put a plan into motion.
Me: Hey, want to help me set up the nursery?
Mason: Of course. When?
Me: Tonight, after work.
Mason: I’ll be there!
Me: Mom’s helping too. So, we’ll have supervision.
Mason: *laughing crying emoji* Okay, I’ll make sure to be on my best behavior.
Me: She told me to tell you she’s making cookies.
Mason: Yum! I’ll bring my appetite.
Me: You better. You know those are against my diet, so you have to eat them all.
Mason: DEAL!
“Mason! It’s so nice to see you,” Mom says, wrapping him in her arms.
“It’s nice to see you too, ma’am,” he tells her, and she smacks his arm.
“It’s Mom,” she corrects him, and I smile.
The thought of him calling her Mom makes me so happy. I know I want him in my life for the rest of it. He showed strength and courage at the art festival the other night, and it was sexy as fuck. It’s easy to forgive someone you love, and I forgave him instantly. I’m still nervous, but if he can continue to grow and stay open, then this relationship will work out.
“I heard you made cookies,” Mason says with a smile.
Mom’s face lights up and she nods like a bobblehead.
“Yes! Since fall is right around the corner, I made s’mores cookies.”
Mason’s eyes almost glow. “Those sound amazing. Does Liam get his baking skills from you?”
Mom nods. “These boys all got something from me. Unfortunately for me, this one,” she pauses and points at me, “got my stubbornness.”
I laugh. “She isn’t wrong. And from what the nurses tell us, Joey also inherited our stubbornness.”
“I can’t wait to meet him,” he tells me with a smile.
My heart does a flip, and I know I want him to meet Joey. I want him to be a part of our lives. I want him forever.
“Hopefully he’ll be home soon,” I tell him. “Let’s go put his furniture together.”
Mason follows me to what was the office.
“I hate that this room doesn’t have windows. It’s not supposed to be a bedroom, but I don’t have anywhere else to put Joey while my mom is living with us,” I tell Mason, and he grabs my hand.
“It’s just temporary,” he tells me.
He doesn’t say more than that, but I’m hoping he means that one day we’ll be living together, and I won’t need my mom anymore. If we never would have broken up, I would have asked him to move in together, but now it’s hard to say how fast we should move.
Should we pick up where we left off now that I’m starting to trust him more? Or do we continue to take it
slow like I told him I wanted to? I don’t think I want it anymore. I want him in my life full-time. I want to wake up to him in my bed and go to sleep with him in my arms.
I also don’t want to push him, though. He’s still growing as a person, and I’m afraid if I push him to do something he isn’t ready for, he’ll backslide, and I can’t lose him again.
Shit, after our second first date, I was head over heels again. I never stopped loving him, and that one date just showed me how much I want him in my life.
“Why do these instructions make no sense?” Mason grumbles, throwing the crib instructions across the room.
I cover my mouth and try not to laugh, but he’s so damn cute when he’s frustrated.
He glares at me but then smiles. “I’m glad I didn’t try to become a furniture maker. This clearly is not my calling,” he jokes.
“We’ll figure it out, babe. Joey won’t be coming home to an empty room.” I shoot him a wink and realize he’s just staring at me.
“That’s the first time you’ve called me babe since we’ve been back together,” he whispers, and then a small smile creeps across his reddening face. “I like it.”
I move to where he is sitting on the floor and crouch in front of him, gripping his face in my hands.
“Mason, I know I said we’d take this slow, but I can’t do slow anymore. I don’t want to hide my feelings for you. You’ve shown you can be honest, and I want to be the same with you. I’m madly in love with you. That never stopped, even when we were apart. I was deeply hurt when you pushed me away, and then I was terrified to take you back. We’ve both made mistakes, and I just want to forget the past and move forward.”
I press my lips to his. It’s meant to be a gentle kiss, but quickly turns more passionate. I want to push him down and fuck him hard. Show him how much I’ve missed him.
“Do you guys want a snack?” Mom yells from the kitchen.
I growl and slowly move backwards, my breathing heavy. Mason licks his lips and I know he wants more, just like me.
“Why did I think having my mom stay with me was a good idea?” I ask and huff out a breath.
Mason chuckles. “We’ll have our time together soon enough. I love you too, babe, and I want to move forward with you as my partner.”
I lean over to give him a quick peck. “Okay, let’s get this crib built; our son will be coming home soon.”
Mason’s eyes go wide. I know it’s a big step to call Joey “our” son, but that’s what I want. And I’m pretty sure Mason wants the same.
“Thank you for coming with me to the game,” I tell Meadow, giving her a side hug from our seats. I’m so fucking grateful she is here with me today. She has never come to a game before, so this means everything.
“There was no way I was going to miss this.” She smiles at me. “Besides, I get to wear this super funny shirt,” she tells me, pulling at her shirt that says ‘I’m just here for the butts and wieners.’
I laugh hard. The shirt couldn’t be more perfect for her.
“Does he know you’re doing this?” she asks, and I shake my head.
“Nope! I wanted to surprise him.”
“Well, you are definitely going to do that.”
“Are you sure the sign is legible?” I ask, nerves suddenly taking over me.
She places her hand on my knee and smiles. “It’s perfect. But remember, the paparazzi are going to go crazy over this. You are publicly confessing your love for Xavier. It’s sweet, but things are going to change.”
I adjust my jersey with Briggs written on the back. “I should have done this a long time ago. I’m not scared anymore. The world can know that I’m crazy for the hottest player on the Sienna Grey Wolves team. We are a team, and I know this is going to mean the world to Xavier.”
She smiles and warmth radiates inside me. Meadow is the perfect person to be here with me today. She calms me down just by being herself.
“Fuck, yeah,” I yell when Xavier hits a home run. The crowd cheers and my heart beats in my chest.
We’re heading into the seventh, and the game is close. The kiss cam comes on and I take a few deep breaths.
“It’s now or nothing,” I tell Meadow and raise my sign.
In large bold letters, the sign reads, “Xavier Briggs is my man.” In smaller letters—but still legible—it reads, “And we are madly in love.”
The kiss cam starts circling and lands on me. The crowd cheers. Xavier is still on the field and looks up at the screen, then searches the crowd for me. The camera changes to Xavier and his smile is so fucking perfect.
He blows me a kiss and I pretend to catch it.
“Oh, my God, you two are too fucking cute,” Meadow sighs beside me.
I don’t take my eyes off of Xavier until he gets called off the field.
“You are so lucky,” a woman says behind me.
I turn to look at the beautiful brunette. Her boyfriend does not look as happy.
“I am the luckiest man in the world,” I tell her honestly.
“Sorry I’m late,” Xavier says, pushing me against the wall. “There were a lot of people wanting to ask me about my relationship.”
“Sorry…did I overstep?” I ask, all of a sudden nervous.
He smiles and shakes his head. Fuck, his smile is so goddamn sexy.
“Not at all. I’m glad it’s finally public knowledge. I’m madly in love and I don’t want to hide it. I know that must have been hard for you, but you have no idea how happy it made me.”
His lips meet mine, and I feel all the love he has being poured into me.
“You did amazing today. You are going to win the World Series. There is no doubt in my mind.”
“It helps that I have the best boyfriend in the world,” he tells me through the phone, and I sigh.
We have been the front and center of all the sports gossip, but I don’t care anymore. I did what I had to, to make sure my boyfriend knew I wasn’t hiding anymore.
My medication has really helped me with clarity, but so have the exercises Dr. Sean taught me. Even when my anxiety threatens to take over, I’m able to focus and get out of it.
“I’m not the best boyfriend, just a man who’s in love and is trying his hardest to be the best that he can be,” I tell him honestly.
“That’s why I love you. Because you try so hard. You aren’t perfect, but nobody is. And even though you have flaws, I know you were meant for me.”
I bite my lip, his honesty stirring emotions inside of me.
“Thank you for giving me a second chance,” I whisper, my voice quiet from the tears threatening to break free. “I haven’t always believed in fate, but I believe everything happens for a reason. And I am so thankful you were put into my life.”
He smiles at me through the phone, and his eyes darken with hunger.
“When I get home, I’m going to show you just how much I love you, baby.”
I’m getting ready for Xavier to tell me what he wants to do to me when a yawn escapes my lips.
Xavier chuckles. “Go to bed, babe, we’ll talk tomorrow.”
I roll my eyes, but nod. He hates keeping me up late, and there is no arguing with him.
“I love you,” I whisper.
“Love you too,” he tells me and blows a kiss before ending the call.
I love how sexy Xavier looks in his uniform, but I can’t wait until the season is over so we can just be together. I have faith that he would never cheat on me, but it doesn’t make it any easier being away. My heart aches for him. At least when we are together, our moments are perfect.
“God, I’m so glad I’m home,” I tell Mason, smashing my lips to his.
I was disappointed that it was a late travel day and I won’t be able to see Joey until tomorrow, but I get to spend time with my man and that’s just as good.
We still haven’t been intimate since we’ve been back together, and I’m ready.
Mason pulls me inside his house and grabs us two glasses of c
hampagne from the counter.
“What’s the celebration?” I ask, taking the glass.
“Us. To moving forward, to overcoming obstacles, and to starting a life together,” he pauses and stares at his feet, something I’ve noticed he does when he’s nervous.
I don’t say anything, just watch the rise and fall of his chest as he takes a few deep breaths. His hair is disheveled, like he’s been running his fingers through it a lot. I think he’s sexy when he’s nervous.
“I know we just built the furniture for Joey, and it was a fucking nightmare.”
I chuckle a little. “It wasn’t that bad,” I lie.
He glares at me for a second before smiling. “Anyways. I know Joey’s room is already set up at your condo, but I was wondering if we could set it up here instead. I want you to move in with me. I want us to be a family. I want to take care of Joey while you’re gone. I want to be his daddy.”
I blink a couple of times, actually shocked. I know I wanted this, but I wasn’t completely certain he did.
“So… what do you think?” he asks, biting his lip, after I stay silent, gaping.
“I think it’s a fantastic idea. You know I want him to have his own room with a window, and your house is huge.”
He chuckles. “Yeah, I kind of went overkill with the four-bedroom house, but I think, deep down, I knew this was what I wanted. A family. With the man I love.”
I grab the champagne glass from Mason’s hand and place both of them back on the counter. Slowly, I place my hands on either side of his face and bring my lips to his.
“I would love to move in with you. Does tomorrow work for you?” I say, not wanting to waste another minute thinking about it.
He smiles and nods before pulling me back for another more passionate kiss. His tongue dives into my mouth. I swallow down his moan as he grinds his hips into mine.
