Christmas Lights

by Amy Briggs

  My face was hot with embarrassment again, but I folded. “Yeah.” I had to laugh at myself. Not smooth. Cool and collected was something I very much was not, unless it was related to my work.

  “I am very much available for a cup of coffee and would love for you to join me before you wrap up your afternoon of shopping. I know you can’t stay late. Robin has Christmas on a tight schedule. She’s known for it, so I know you have some Yuletide celebration of one kind or another just about every night. But, if you could spare a little of your afternoon, I’d love to continue chatting.”

  What the hell. I didn’t have anything to lose. And my coffee addiction was never truly quenched. I could drink it day and night and never have enough. Plus he was right. There was some kind of activity I couldn’t quite remember that the caffeine would surely make better.

  “Sure, why not?”

  “Okay great. You get those presents taken care of, and we’ll take this bicycle out to my truck and head over to Wallflowers. We can sit, and I promise not to spill coffee all over you again.”

  His smile was warm. In fact, I wanted to rip my coat off I was so hot. Between his smile and the fact that I was perpetually blushing and the temperature inside the store, I was dying.

  But I was going to have afternoon coffee with a handsome stranger while on vacation. Life could be worse. For a few minutes, I’d forgotten how little I cared for the season, and I was enjoying myself.

  Chapter Eight

  Jason

  The warm air from the diner hit me in the face as soon as I opened the door. Samantha walked in, and I couldn’t help but to ogle her. She had on a huge, puffy coat that practically engulfed her, and boots that went up to her knees. Her long blond hair was tucked under a wool hat, and her pale cheeks were flushed from the cold.

  I grabbed us a booth and motioned to Diana for two coffees. Samantha sat down across from me and removed her hat before unzipping her coat.

  “Cold?” I asked.

  “I don’t know how y’all handle this all season,” she replied. “It’s like seventy-five degrees at my house right now.” She ran her hands through her hair, and the sun from the front window reflected off the blond. Her sister had the same color hair, and so did the twins. It was clear they were related.

  “It’s not so bad. You get used to it. The seasons are nice here. We get a little bit of everything throughout the year. You should come back in the spring when everything is green and flowering. You’d like it.”

  “I’ve been to visit in the spring. You’re right; it is nice. But you can go to the beach almost all year-round in Florida, you know.” She smiled at me, a teasing grin.

  “I’ll give you that. It does sound nice to go to the beach, especially since we have a couple more months of cold. But this weather makes it feel like Christmas, don’t you think?” I asked.

  She hesitated. “I suppose that it does.” Then she changed the subject. “So, you said it’s just you and Emily?”

  I didn’t talk much about Emily’s mom, but I wanted to be transparent with Samantha. Something about her made me feel comfortable, like I could just say anything I wanted. “Yeah, it’s always been just the two of us.”

  “I’m sorry, you don’t have to explain anything to me,” she said.

  I reached across the table and touched her hand gently. “No, no. It’s okay. Most people in this town know me and know my story, so I just haven’t told it in a long time. Emily’s mom left shortly after Emily was born. She didn’t want to be a mom. It wasn’t a planned event. She didn’t want to keep the baby, but I begged her to, and once Emily was born, she gave me full custody and left Friendship.”

  “Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”

  “Oh no, don’t be sorry. Besides, it was a long time ago. We were young, and I knew that she wouldn’t stick around. She never wanted to settle down in Friendship. We were high school sweethearts, but it was never meant to be. Emily is a gift, though, and my life wouldn’t be the same without her. I thank God for her every day. She keeps me on my toes.” I laughed thinking of the conversations we’ve had. Emily made me laugh constantly. She kept me young.

  “So you don’t talk to her or anything?” Samantha seemed surprised.

  “Nope. She’ll write once in a while. She travels a lot. That’s what she always wanted to do. But it’s not a thing, if that’s what you’re asking.” I answered honestly. I liked Samantha, and even though she wasn’t staying in Friendship—she was just visiting—being the real me was important.

  “Well, that’s really amazing of you. There aren’t a lot of stories like that, where the dad is the full-time caregiver. Having an eight-year-old girl must be funny.”

  “She’s a riot. She cracks me up every single day.” I wanted to talk about Samantha, not Emily, so I changed the subject. “So, what about you? What’s your story, Samantha from Florida?”

  “My story? Gosh, I don’t know. I’m not into winter. We established that already. I love coffee, long walks on the beach?” she joked.

  “What do you do for a living?”

  “I’m an editor. I read novels for a living. It’s a quiet life really, but filled with amazing stories. I love it. What about you?”

  She was smart and beautiful. Of course. “I’m a mechanic, and I also have a small plane that I use for recreation and occasionally take passengers out and about. In fact, your sister booked a flight for this week, did she tell you?”

  “She did not! That sounds wonderful.”

  “Well, don’t tell her I ruined the surprise. I won’t tell you anything else about it, so you can pretend to be totally shocked.” I laughed.

  “The secret is safe.” She smiled. She took a sip of her hot coffee, wrapping both hands around the mug. She was beautiful and charming, and as we continued chatting, I felt at ease with her, more so than with anyone in a long time. In fact, I had to remind myself several times it wasn’t a real date. She was just on vacation, and it was just coffee.

  I hadn’t dated much after Emily’s mom left. Not that I was heartbroken or anything like that, but I was busy with a baby. We had broken up before the baby even came and just agreed to terms that worked for both of us, but the thought of dating was the furthest thing from my mind.

  As time went on, I’d gone out with a couple of lovely women here and there, but I wasn’t looking to jump into a marriage, and the girls I’d gone to school with around here wanted to get married and have kids, and I already had one.

  My parents helped with Emily until she was about five, when they retired north. They came down a lot, but before they left, we were a team of three raising my daughter. Anyway, the dating scene turned pretty dry over the years, and seeing someone seemed out of the realm of possibility without moving, which I just wasn’t going to do.

  Samantha and I talked a bit more. She told me some of her favorite things that her family does for Christmas, and we realized we would be at many of the same events.

  “It’s very nice to meet a new friend here. Family is great, but this is pleasant,” she said.

  “Well, it seems that we’ll be seeing a lot of each other this week. So tell me, in the spirit of the season, what’s was your favorite thing about Christmas growing up?” I asked.

  She checked her watch. “I really should be going, Jason. We’ve got the open house and holiday lights party tonight, and I need to help my sister get ready.” She stood up and began zipping her coat.

  “Okay, well would you like me to drop you off? It’s on my way.” I didn’t want our afternoon to end, but I could also tell that something was wrong, and I wanted to fix it.

  “Oh no, that’s not necessary. I have one more quick stop to make before heading home. And I have my sister’s car. I’m sorry to rush off, but I gotta go. Thank you for the coffee, Jason. It was lovely chatting with you, really.”

  “You’re welcome. I’ll see you later then,” I called after her as she rushed off. I definitely said something that upset her in some way, and it was gnaw
ing at me.

  I paid for the coffees and was headed back to my truck across the square, when I ran into Gabe yet again. I wasn’t in the mood for one of his weird talks about love, and I definitely didn’t want to talk about Samantha with him. I felt like he pushed me in the wrong direction there. It was a total waste of time to get hung up on a woman who didn’t even live here.

  “Jason! How was coffee?” he called out to me as I walked by.

  I’d intended to ignore him and keep on walking, but I couldn’t. I stopped, turned around, and addressed him. “Hi there, Gabe.” I waited a moment, trying to choose my words. “What’s your deal?” I asked.

  “What do you mean?” he asked, innocence in his tone.

  “I mean, why are you trying to get me to spend time with Samantha? Who is she to you? She doesn’t live here and isn’t planning to. In fact, she pretty much hates winter, so what is going on here?”

  “Things aren’t always what they seem, Jason.”

  “You’re just going to talk in riddles?” I was exasperated.

  “Samantha is special. What she feels deep inside and what she tells you aren’t the same yet. But they will be,” he said.

  “What in the hell are you talking about? She is going to be here for a few days, and then she’ll be gone.” Saying it out loud was even more frustrating than the conversation itself. We had a great time chatting and everything was fine until I asked her about Christmas. Then it hit me, something about Christmas upset her. Why didn’t I think of it before? My expression must have changed when I realized her problem was Christmas, not me, because Gabe began to grin.

  “You figured it out?”

  “Something happened to her that made her not like Christmas, didn’t it?” I asked.

  “Now you’re paying attention.” He nodded.

  “But she was fine talking about all the things she was doing for the holidays here. So, what was it?” I asked.

  “That is for her to tell you. And she will. In time. Be patient. Be persistent. It’s not for nothing.”

  “How do you know that, Gabe?” Then before he could answer, I replied. “Let me guess. You know some things?”

  He grinned and bundled his coat against his belly. “You’re listening. Keep doing that.” With not another word, he walked off, leaving me once again standing there with my thoughts.

  Well, if she needed Christmas to be awesome, I was the guy for the job. Christmas was my thing, and I’d make this the best Christmas since whatever had happened to her.

  Chapter Nine

  Samantha

  I hustled out of the diner like my hair was on fire, probably making a spectacle of myself. While I knew that Jason had no idea that I didn’t want to reminisce about the holidays growing up, I didn’t want to explain it either. Up until that moment, it had been amazing. We chatted about all kinds of things. He asked about the books I had read. He’d even heard of some of the authors that I edit. I love a man that reads.

  There were no awkward moments, and I didn’t even stumble over my words like I usually do. Although I didn’t typically find myself having coffee with terrific-looking men all that often. I was actually done with my errands that day, contrary to what I told him, and when I left, I power-walked to the car where I banged my head on the steering wheel repeatedly.

  It wouldn’t ever go anywhere. It couldn’t. We live a thousand miles away in what may as well be a different planet. But that didn’t mean that I shouldn’t be nice or even enjoy the flirtation. He was such a nice guy. I felt like a total fool.

  I headed home to my sister’s house, where she was waiting for my return. When I sighed audibly, she put down her glass of wine. “What happened?”

  “So, I ran into the handsome stranger again,” I said.

  “And?” she asked excitedly.

  “And his name is Jason Hayes. Apparently his daughter is friends with the girls?”

  “Oh yes! How did I not figure that out?” She exclaimed. “He’s so handsome, Sam. And such a good dad. All the moms have a crush on him.” She laughed. “So, tell me what happened!”

  I rolled my eyes dramatically before telling her about the afternoon. “So, yeah. I bolted.”

  “Oh, Sam, come on. Why would you do that?”

  “I don’t know!” I replied, flustered. “He asked me what my favorite Christmas memories were, and I froze. Look, you know how I feel about this topic.”

  “Sam, I’m so disappointed,” she said. It felt like a knife in my stomach.

  “You’re disappointed? What is that supposed to mean?” She’s my sister, and not having my back was devastating.

  She placed both of her hands down on the counter as if she were trying to calm down. “Sam, I love you. You know that I do. But give me a break. This whole ‘I hate Christmas because my parents are dead’ routine is getting old.”

  “Are you kidding me?”

  “No, Sam, I’m not kidding. I’m not saying that you can’t wish they were here—hell, I wish they were here—but they’re not. And you being some kind of Christmas phobic to everyone is just …”

  “It’s just what?” I interjected.

  “It’s childish, Samantha. You don’t have to forget about them, but you do have to move on for crying out loud. Make some new memories. The holidays are supposed to be about sharing and giving and loving. All you’re doing is making yourself miserable, and frankly, making the people who love you miserable.”

  She ran her hands through her hair and continued. “You need to get it together, Sam. I love you. I love you so much. But honestly, you have to move on. At this point, it’s become a choice. You’re not a little girl anymore. You have the ability to cherish their memories and move forward, it’s up to you.”

  “I cannot believe you’re calling me childish because I didn’t want to tell a complete stranger my favorite things about Christmas. You cannot be serious right now.”

  “I’m completely serious, Sam. It’s Christmas. That’s what people do. They exchange stories about their family traditions. They bake cookies for each other. What the hell is wrong with you?”

  She was right. I knew that every single thing she was saying was true, but I didn’t want to hear it. I wanted to retreat, not face my feelings. My immediate reaction was to pack my things and get on the first plane back to Florida to be by myself, to wallow in my misery. But I knew better.

  Robin paced around the kitchen, nothing left to say, so I had to speak up. “Look, Robin, I’m sorry. He’s just a guy I met. It’s not that big of a deal. I will try harder.”

  “Sam, he’s not just some guy. He’s our friend. And his daughter is friends with our kids. Do you not see how your behavior impacts others?”

  “I’m sorry,” I replied.

  “Look, the girls are going to be home any minute, and we’re going to get ready for the open house tour. I’m planning to make this Christmas, like every Christmas ever, special. If you want to come, then go get ready. But you need to put on a good face for my kids, okay?”

  “Do you not want me to go?” I asked. I was hurt that she seemed to not want me there. Her tone was frustrated, and I understood it, but she always tried to make me feel better in the past. This time was different.

  “Honestly, Sam, it’s up to you. I wouldn’t have asked you to come here for the holidays if I didn’t want you. But seriously, figure out how to fake it, or better yet, move forward like the rest of us have.”

  She walked off, and I let her go. It was clear that we both needed some space, and I wanted some time with my thoughts. I went to my room and flopped down on the bed, trying to decide if I should stay away for a bit or if I should put on my big girl pants and just make more of an effort to keep my feelings to myself. Originally, I thought that I could just be myself and be sad when I wanted, but that clearly wasn’t the case. I didn’t know how to get out of my funk, though, and pretending was going to take some real effort at that point.

  The girls came home, and I could hear them running
around and getting ready. The Christmas open house tour was basically going from historical house to house to view their decorations, have a drink and a snack, and then move on to the next. Friendship had a decorating contest for the participants, and they received a trophy or something, and of course bragging rights. It was a fun way to stop by your neighbors’ houses and catch up while checking out their decorations and spreading some holiday cheer.

  Inhaling a deep breath, I heaved myself up off the bed. It was time to get it together and be with my family. I changed into a fresh pair of jeans and boots, and one of the new sweaters I picked up while I was here, and headed back to the kitchen where the family was all gathered and getting ready.

  “Aunt Sam!” Daisy shouted.

  “Are you ready to go? It’s going to be so fun, and there’s so many good snacks,” Delilah added.

  “Well, who can say no to good snacks? Certainly not me,” I replied.

  Robin looked over at me and raised her eyebrows questioningly, so I smiled and shrugged slightly. What else could I do, but buck up? I wanted to be with my family, and I didn’t want them to have a terrible time because of me. Besides, the girls were right. Snacks are great, so I could pull it together for snacks and family.

  As we walked up to the first house, Robin put her arm around me. “I’m sorry that I was so harsh with you, Sam. I don’t want you to ever feel like I don’t want you here with us.”

  “I know, Robin. I’m sorry that I let my emotions get the better of me, and I promise to try harder,” I replied.

  I gave her a squeeze back, and we didn’t mention it again. I thought the whole incident was behind us when we walked into the first house, and there he was. Jason Hayes, with his adorable smile, and with him was the cutest little girl who was racing toward my nieces at full speed.

  Chapter Ten

  Jason

  It could not have been more perfect timing. I had been trying to figure out for a good chunk of the late afternoon how I could run into her again, and there she was. Emily ran like the wind toward her friends, and I greeted the Jameson family. Lastly, of course, was Samantha.